Me: Alright, so BEFORE you start coming after me with pitchforks and torches, let me explain.

Iggy: Well, this should be good.

Me: You know what, Iggy, go jump in a ditch!

Iggy: Fine, I will! And I'll even fly out of it, too.

Me: Fine! And on your way back, please bring in our guest.

(Iggy leaves, slamming the door behind him.)

Me: Okay, as I was saying, allow me to explain. You see, as much as I tried to update like, a week ago, my attention kept getting diverted. Between guitar, the fact that I was sick and the stupid Civil War Navy, I got pretty swamped. And it's not like I'm just neglecting this story. I had this chapter written up for a while. I just lacked the time and motivation to publish this. And then, when I did go to publish it, my doc manager wouldn't work. I couldn't save it after editing. I would try, and then it would just go back to the rough draft. That took about two days to fix, but it's up now! So I finally give you... Chapter 3! (It's sad how slow I am. I've only updated to Chapter 3.) ('~')

IPOV:

I sat frozen as the sirens got closer. All of a sudden, I hear a car door slam. I try picturing the cop in my mind. Let's see… the footsteps are light, like a girls. Okay, it's a chick. (Max would kill me for saying that.) At least I stand a better chance of getting out of this. I wonder if she has a mustache? Who knows, maybe she's sexy.

'Um, Iggy?' Angel thought to me.

'Yeah?' I thought back.

'That's not a girl. Here's what he looks like.' Oh my god. This dude looked to be about 5'9". He had this freaky comb-over hair, and he looked like he was in his 70's. This guy's a cop? He seems like he would be better off as a history teacher. As he started walking up, I heard Angel in my head again.

'Iggy, there's something else you should know…'

…Wow. 'Thanks, I'll take care of this.'

This should be interesting. I just hope it works.

APOV:

I saw Iggy stand completely still as the police car drove up. When I took a look into his thoughts, it was actually pretty funny. He was trying to picture what the policeman looks like. Except in his case, it was a policewoman, because of the light footsteps. I wonder why his footsteps are so light and girly, anyways? Before I could look to find out, I saw Iggy's version of him. It was hilarious! He was picturing a pretty blonde girl. Except, not as pretty as Max. Actually, she looked pretty fake. Anyways, he pictured her wearing a uniform that kinda looked like the ones that those cheerleaders were wearing at that football game. And she had a mustache! It looked really funny. I wanted to let him believe that the guy really was a girl, but then he might get into more trouble, and we wouldn't be able to play Truth or Dare anymore. So I decided to show him a real picture of the guy.

'Um, Iggy?' I thought to him.

'Yeah?' He thought back.

'That's not a girl. Here's what he looks like.' When I showed him the picture, I couldn't help but but laugh at his surprise. He was so off. This guy was a little shorter than Max, and he looked really old. Like, 100 or something. Maybe he's the oldest living guy on earth, or something. Anyways, he didn't look anything like the "sexy chick" in Iggy's mind. I'll have to ask Max what that means, later. When he started walking towards Iggy, I decided to try and see if there was anything we could use to get him out of trouble. Hm, let's see… well, I don't know if we could use this, but it sounds kinda like what Iggy was chanting earlier. I'd better tell him.

'Iggy, there's something else you should know…'

'Thanks, I'll take care of this.' Before I got the chance to see his plan, he started singing "After Today" from A Goofy Movie in his head. It's actually a really catchy song. I did manage to catch him thinking, 'This should be interesting. I just hope it works.' Me, too, Ig.

MPOV:

Ah man, really? We play ONE game of Truth or Dare, (not even a game, just a dare), and the freaking cops show up. Well this is just great! I watched silently as some old dude with a comb-over walked up to Iggy. He was just standing there, not moving at all. All of a sudden, he gets a look of comprehension on his face, like he has a plan. Well, it better be a good one, because I cannot afford to pay bail, or even a ticket, for that matter. Before I can see anything happen, Angels comes up to me.

"What does 'gay' mean?" She asks, out of the blue. As you can imagine, I was stunned into silence for a moment. Then I figured that she probably just asked because of Iggy's chant. While I was searching through my mind for an answer to THAT question, the cop started talking to Iggy.

"Hello, my name is Officer Dale Blankers. I've received complaints of someone shouting and banging cookware on this street. Is this true?"

Oh. My. Freaking. GOD! This guys voice was hilarious! He sounds like Mr. Rogers! All he needs now is a trolley and a red cardigan sweater. I looked over as "Mr. Rogers" started talking to Iggy again.

"What were you shouting about, anyways?"

"Well you see, sir," Iggy started, putting on an 'innocent' face, "I was protesting the pressure that society puts on gays. All of our rights are being taken away. If you don't mind me asking, are you…?"

"Oh yes, how did you know?! You must be a very sensitive person. And I completely agree with you. You see, I want to get married to my boyfriend, but I can't. It's so frustrating!"

"Oh, you poor thing! Is your boyfriend cute? Nevermind, it's not my place to ask. But since you know where I'm coming from, are you still going to write me a ticket?"

"No, as long as you don't cause anymore trouble. And for the record, he is cute. He just loves my ties and my red cardigan sweater!" Wow…

"Oh, he sounds just wonderful! Thank you so, so much for letting me off easy. And listen, if you ever need someone to talk to, here's my number. Call anytime."

"Oh, I will." Then he just walked away. As the shock wore and I was about to start cracking up, I took a look at Angel. Okay, then I did crack up. She was just standing there with this completely horrified look on her face. My guess is, she wasn't expecting that. Though I am a bit surprised. I figured she would see his plan in his head. Oh well, I'll ask her about it later. Suddenly, I remembered the question she asked me earlier. As I turned to face her, I said, "THAT, Angel, is the meaning of the word 'gay'."

APOV:

Ewwwwww…

Me: Hey, look who's back! How was the ditch?

Iggy: So...cold...*twitch*

Me: Okayyyyyy... So did you bring our guest, Mr. Gay?

Iggy: Yep. She was extremely difficult. I had to take off my shirt to get her to follow me. And do you have to call me that?

Me: She always was a problem child. In fact, she still is. Come on in, Sammy! And yes, I do have to call you that.

Sammy: You KIDNAPPED me?! THIS is your revenge!?

Me: No, this is what I had to do to set my plan in motion. It will get much worse.

Sammy: I hate you. By the way, didn't you have some kind of contest or something?

Me: Yes! Thanks for reminding me. This is actually a really small contest. Here's how it works: You send in a review with 1) My history teacher's name. 2) Another story he was mentioned in. 3) His title. (i.e. Most likely to be electrocuted or Best something. You get the idea.) The first person to send me all of these things gets a preview of the next chapter. Well, actually, you'll probably just get the whole thing early. Also, please note that I will be updating much more often once school lets out. If I get really bad about updating, send me death threats. Those usually work. I might put a new one-shot up soon, so keep an eye out.

(Please note that I have nothing against homosexuality)

Sammy: Iggy looks really good shirtless.