A/N: Woo! Two in one day~! Though they were already written. I just typed them into documents finally. Now I'm going to get some shut-eye before I have to get up for school.

Disclaimer: Not mine!

Growing up, my father had enjoyed using psychological torture to punish me. It drove me mad.

Here's an example.

When I was young, I had told my father, "Fuck off, I'm playing Super Nintendo!"

My father, displeased with my French, began to formulate his devious little plot.

I had woken up the next morning thinking it to be just another normal day, only to roll over and come face to face with a frog beanie-baby sitting on my pillow. It scared the crap out of me. However, I had shrugged it off and got dressed for school.

Sitting down for breakfast, I had poured myself a bowl of cereal only for a small frog beanie-baby to fall out of my cereal box.

Confused out of my mind I had decided to skip breakfast and just go to school.

It's only when I'm almost there do I realise that my bag feels heavier than usual. Deciding that I wouldn't be late if I just checked I went through my backpack. In the middle pocket, I find about ten frogs. By then I am thoroughly terrified.

In class, I finished with my test early and decide to look out the window to daydream as I often do.

I find, sitting on the outside windowsill, a frog beanie-baby. Terrified out of my mind, I freak out in the middle of the class and when I try to show everyone the frog, it is gone. My teacher sent me to the hall for the rest of the day for being disruptive.

On my way home, I silently pray or it to be over already.

As I arrive home, I notice that all of the lights are off and the drapes are pulled, my house is pitch black.

Not bothering to worry about it, I walk to the kitchen intending to grab myself a snack and turn the light on. I find that my entire flipping kitchen is stuffed to the brim with frog beanie-babies.

I screamed, and I will admit that there was nothing manly about that scream, and turn around as somebody knocks heavily on my door. There, pressing his face against the door is a man in a frog suit.

It was then that I ran up the stairs to my room screaming like a girl. Locking the door behind me, I lean against it while nearly hyperventilating. That was when I spotted it.

Sitting in the middle of my room on the floor is a frog beanie-baby sitting on top of a piece of paper. Walking over, I pick up the frog and the note and read it. It says, "Open the door, son."

Terrified beyond reason, I open my door and the frogman walks over to me calm and quietly. Trembling fearfully, I say to him, "I know it's you, Dad."

He then says in a voice nothing at all like my father's, "It is not, Arthur."

I scream again, falling back onto my ass as he removes his mask. It's my cousin Bruce.

A moment later, my father walks into the house laughing like a moron. He's laughing so hard he's crying.

I had pissed myself I had been so terrified.

My father points at me, still laughing insanely, and says, "We don't say 'Fuck' in my house, boy. Now who's up for McDonald's?"

To this day, I still wonder, where the hell did you get all those fucking beanie-babies, Dad?

A/N: HAHAHAHA! Poor England. If you know what I based this off of I love you. Any glaring mistakes? Any comments? Hope you enjoyed!

~ I like my coffee delicious, thank you.