[ORIGINAL AN: Wow! Its awesome that you all like this so much! I'm glad someone besides myself things this is funny, haha. Okay, so... for those of you who have read my other stories, I decided to put Waverly in this story for you. For those of you who haven't read my other stories, here's a brief bio of Waverly... Waverly is my OC. She is Clint's adoptive sister and works for SHIELD as sort of Fury's secretary. In my story 'Loki's Match,' she is sent to Asgard to keep an eye on Loki during his imprisonment for Fury. Eventually, there's a Loki/OC pairing. (That's all I'll say on Waverly in case you want to read my other story and get her full story.) If you don't like Waverly, I'm sorry, but this is my story and no one is forcing you to read it. Though Waverly will be in this story it will still mainly star the Avengers, Fury, and Loki so fear not! Enough of my babbling, I hope you enjoy!]
Chapter Four: In which a second Barton is baby-fied
Fury watched Pepper leave the room and shut the door. Then, he ducked as Thor swooped towards him once more. Fury gritted his teeth to prevent himself from growling. "All right!" He yelled. "That is enough! Tony, shut it down."
"You're not the boss of me!" Tony yelled, still stuck in his oversized helmet. FRIDAY was tempted to override her young boss and shut the machine down… but this was just too amusing. Maybe Tony had created her with a little too much intelligence.
Fury sighed and ran a hand over his face, a gesture he was doing a lot lately. Maybe direct orders weren't the way to handle this situation. Fury wracked his brain for memories of his childhood. An idea came to mind. "Hey, Tony," he said, trying to sound cheerful rather than angry, "How about you turn your suit off and I'll get you and your friends here some ice cream."
Bruce pried himself out of Iron Man's arm upon hearing the words 'ice cream.' Clint also toppled onto the floor, abandoning his pogo-stick of a leg. "Ice cream?!" They both said eagerly.
"Only if Tony turns off the suit," Fury answered, his voice teasing.
"Toneeeeeeeeeeee!" Clint whined. "Turn it off! I want ice cream!"
"Yeah Tony!" Bruce insisted. He stamped his little feet for emphasis.
Tony sighed and pulled himself from the helmet, falling to the floor. He sat against the wall with his arms crossed. "Fine. Only cuz I want some too."
"Good kid," Fury said. "Shut it down."
"FRIDAY," little Tony mumbled, "turn off the suit."
"As you wish young sir." It was almost as if FRIDAY was being sarcastic.
Slightly shocked with his good fortune, Fury allowed himself to relax a little. He walked over and picked Tony up. Tony squirmed at first, but eventually gave in and allowed the director to carry him across the room, where Fury picked up Thor in his other arm. Then, the super spy turned to the other two miscreants. "If you two want ice cream, you need to hold hands, follow me, and behave. Understand?"
Clint and Bruce exchanged a quick glance, then quickly grasped hands and nodded.
"Good, now let's go." Fury crossed to the door and kicked it open. He was about three steps into the hall when he realized he was down one child. "Wait a minute. Where's Loki?"
Thor wriggled in Fury's grasp and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Yes, Thor?"
"I think my brother took 'avanage' of our chaos and left to create some 'missif.'"
"What?" Fury asked, raising his eyebrow at the young god. He couldn't understand toddler-speak.
"He went to cause missif."
"What are you talking about, Thor?"
"My brother is the god of missif! He is off to cause some!"
"Oh!" Fury said with realization. "Mischief!" The director paused. "Oh." It had finally hit him. "Son of a bitch."
"Bad word!" Bruce gasped, pointing at Fury. Tony and Clint simply giggled.
"Adults are allowed to say bad words sometimes." Fury sounded ages older than he was, the exhaustion of the day taking its toll. He shifted Tony so he was more comfortable holding the young genius, then set Thor back on the ground. He unclipped his communicator from his belt, pressed the button and held the device close to his mouth. "Agent Bar- " He caught himself. Saying 'Barton' would no doubt just lead to confusion, seeing as mini Clint was standing at his heels. "Agent Waverly, report to the debriefing room. Now."
First, static responded to Fury. Then, "Yes, sir."
"Hey!" Clint said. His little face was stuck between an expression of confusion and an expression of comprehension; it was an odd sight. "Waverly's my little sister."
Fury let out a snort of laughter. "She's more like your big sister now."
A short while later, Waverly Barton arrived at the debriefing room. She was, up until this point, not aware of the Avengers' current predicament. Of course, her eyes landed on Clint first. Despite him being 40-something years younger, she instantly recognized her brother. Her jaw dropped. "What in all of hell?"
"It's a long story," Fury said.
"Is that… Clint?"
"Yes," Fury sighed. "The gist of it is this: Loki did some magic, something went wrong and now they're all children."
"Good lord."
"Exactly. I've been keeping them in my room while the techs figure out how to fix this. Hill is in charge of the operation. Pepper is out getting Bruce new clothes."
At this, Bruce remembered that he was still in his underpants. His cheeks turned scarlet and he hid behind Clint. He still kept ahold of the tiny archer's hand, for fear he would lose ice cream privileges if he let go.
"So, what do you need me to do? Babysit?" Waverly could barely keep the terror from her voice. The thought of being in charge of six little super heroes, plus their arch nemesis did not sound fun.
"I need you to find Loki. He wandered off. Take Thor with you, he might be able to help. I'm going to take the rest of these guys to my room and then get them ice cream. Once you find Loki, I need you to keep an eye on all of them."
"Is Loki a kid too?" Waverly asked. This time, she could barely hold back a smile. Her, for lack of a better word, boyfriend as a child? This would be interesting.
"Yes. Good luck," Fury said. And he meant it.
Thor was clinging to Waverly's hand as the two of them searched the tower, looking for Loki.
"Where do you think he'd be?" Waverly asked.
Thor shrugged his small shoulders. "When we was eating lunch, he said he wanted more cookies."
Waverly nodded. "We'll check the mess hall, then." Bending down, Waverly patted herself on the back. "Hop on. We can get there faster if I carry you. Just don't hold on too tight, I'm not a god."
Thor scrambled up onto Waverly's back and carefully placed his arms around her neck. "Of course not. You are a girl. Girls are goddesses."
Waverly rolled her eyes but smiled. "You know what I mean." Once Thor was secured on her back, she quickly took off towards the mess hall.
The mess hall was on the ground floor of the tower with a small kitchen attached to it. This had formerly been Tony's kitchen, staffed by the billionaire's crew of gourmet chefs. Once the tower had been converted into a headquarters for the Avengers and some SHILED agents, the kitchen was converted into the mess hall it was now. A few of Tony's personal chefs remained on site to serve the occupants of the tower when needed. Said chefs were currently cowering under the kitchen cabinets, bowls and pots over their heads. Meanwhile, Loki had abandoned the now powered-down Iron Man appendage. He was standing atop one of the kitchen counters, brandishing a mini golden spear. Blue sparks of magic sparked from the spear's tip.
"You pathetic mortals shall serve me cookie! The god of mischief demands it!"
"Oh boy," Waverly sighed. She allowed Thor to slide off her back.
"Told you," Thor said matter-of-factly. He put his hands on his hips. "Loki is being a bad boy."
"Okay, you stay here. I'll take care of Loki." Waverly walked briskly into the kitchen, her brain scrambling to find a way to take control of this situation. "Loki!" She called.
The god froze and turned to face the agent. He blushed and attempted to hide his spear behind his back. Apparently, little Loki was still infatuated with Waverly. "My lady," he said in his high-pitched voice. "I just wanted to get cookies from these mortals. I shall share with you."
Waverly smiled and shook her head. "No, Loki. You can't bully people into giving you cookies."
"But I am Loki, god of mischief. Hoomans were made to serve me."
Rolling her eyes, Waverly walked over to Loki. "Fury is getting you ice cream. No cookies. Come on." She scooped Loki up into her arms and strode back over to Thor.
"But I want cookies!" Loki insisted. His lower lip jutted out in a pout and he began prodding Waverly with the side of his spear.
Waverly wrestled the weapon from his grip. "Loki, I said no."
In the agent's arms, Loki balled up his little fists and tears gathered in his eyes. "But I don't waaaant ice cream. I waaaant coooookies. I demand it!"
"If you be a good boy, I'll get you a cookie later." Waverly bent down and kissed Loki on the top of his head. "Deal?"
The little god blushed and wrinkled up his nose. "Fine."
"Good." Waverly shifted Loki so that she was balancing him between one arm and her hip. She held out her free hand to Thor. "Let's go."
Once all the Avengers, plus Loki and Waverly, were back in Fury's bedroom, order was restored. Waverly had managed to convince all the kids to sit around her in a circle on Fury's bed while she read them a story. Loki insisted on sitting in her lap. Just as Waverly was finishing up the tale of 'The Little Engine That Could,' Fury arrived with a tub of ice cream and some plastic bowls and spoons. A feeding frenzy that could rival a shark's promptly ensued.
It took a while, but after a lot of yelling, crying, and scooping of ice cream, Fury had served all the children. Bruce and Tony were eating their ice cream in a corner of Fury's bedroom. During the chaos of serving ice cream, they had swiped Fury's phone from his trench coat pocket. Currently, they were trying to hack into the secret files backed up on his phone. Or looking for games. It was hard to tell with five-year-old geniuses.
On the other side of the room, Clint had finally convinced Natasha to sit with him. The two little assassins were eating their ice cream, exchanging stories over what their favorite animals were. Steve waddled over to them with his bowl and joined in the conversation, excitedly babbling about monkeys.
Finally, Thor and Loki were seated beside Waverly on the bed, partaking in their sweet treat. Thor had commandeered the story book and was admiring the perseverance of the Little Engine. Loki was eyeing Thor's bowl with a frown.
"You got more than me." Loki said.
Thor looked up. "More what?"
"Ice cream. You have three scoops. I only have two."
"Nuh uh." Thor said.
"Loki," Waverly said, sensing impending doom, "Fury gave everyone the same amount."
"Do not lie to me. Thor has more!"
"Heehee," Thor giggled. "That rhymes."
Loki set his bowl down and stood on the bed, holding his hand out. "Give me yours. It's not fair that you have more. You always get more cuz Father loves you best.
"But Father isn't even here," Thor protested.
Loki wouldn't hear it. He furrowed his brow and huffed. "I want yours."
"No. It is mine!" Thor gripped his bowl tighter and turned away from Loki.
The god of mischief pounced at his brother, trying to wrestle the bowl from the god of thunder's hands. Before either Waverly or Fury could intervene, the simple little brawl turned into an all-out battle between the brothers. Thor smashed Loki's inadequate bowl of ice cream with his hammer. Loki magicked his spear back in his hands and was casting spells at his brother.
"Loki." Waverly lunged at Loki but he danced out of her way. Waverly tumbled onto the bed. "Loki, I said be a good boy."
Loki ignored her and jumped at Thor. Fury swooped in to intercept Thor, who was charging back at Loki. Fury only managed to flail ridiculously whilst Thor took a running leap off Waverly's back and landed on his brother.
Loki responded by pounding his little fist on Thor's back while simultaneously trying to aim a spell at him.
Waverly scrambled off the bed and pried Thor off of Loki. "Loki, stop it or you won't get a cookie."
Loki had finally aimed a spell. It was at that moment that Waverly had lifted Thor off of the tiny god of mischief. So, instead of hitting Thor, the spell hit Waverly. Waverly dropped Thor and fell back onto the bed. When she sat up, she was crying.
Fury swore. "Loki, what do you keep trying to do that makes you turn people into kids?!"
"I want my mommy!" Waverly wailed. She too, was now a child. She balled up her little fists and rubbed her eyes while she cried.
"I want ice cream!" Loki insisted.
"Oh lord." Fury said. As if things couldn't get any worse.