Disclaimer: All recognizable characters are the creative property of Emily Rodda.
Though he was now retired, Barda had still arrived in Del sometime back to lead the search effort for Attor, leaving Lindal behind in Broome to care for their infant son. Several weeks had passed since the incident with the mysterious Chial fruit and with Barda's help, the Palace Guards had quickly apprehended the merchant responsible, having found him hiding on a trade ship bound for Dorne. Doom had subsequently ordered him to be deported back to his native land to face trial for his murder and attempted assassination.
Despite this turn of events, the Palace was anything but joyful; instead, it was filled with silent tension and guarded expressions. It was happening all over again, and everyone could see it: the king was once more avoiding Jasmine.
At first, the girl had not noticed, thinking it normal that he had suddenly become so busy. But after a while, she had become confused and worried, asking him if she had done something wrong. Lief had fought with himself not to laugh aloud at such a ludicrous thought, but politely reassured her it was not so. Slowly but surely the boy could see she was beginning to realize he was purposely choosing not to see her for reasons unknown.
Lief thanked Adin that Barda and the others had been too preoccupied with finding Attor to notice how he was treating Jasmine; he did not think he could bear their disapproving glares. It hurt him, but Lief knew this was something that had to be done; he had convinced himself that the best way to keep her safe was to make her want to leave and never return. Yet he had not the heart to actively push her away; no, Jasmine would have to leave on her own accord.
She was hurting as well, that much was obvious, despite the fact she held her head high. It was not as if Lief yelled at Jasmine or was rude; rather, he no longer went out of his way to speak or spend time with her. He took on a more courteous and formal stance, and did not confide in the companionable warmth they once shared. However, Jasmine had not initially understood why Lief was suddenly behaving in such a way, and actively sought to get him to explain.
The flash of anger that spread across her face each time he brushed her off did not escape his notice, and eventually Jasmine stopped attempting to make conversation with him altogether, which surprised Lief. He had half expected her to yell at him for being so secluded, or something to that effect. Instead, the girl merely turned cold and did not speak to him in turn.
At one point, Lief had inadvertently met Jasmine in a hallway and, not wanting to appear as if something was wrong, politely smiled and greeted her with a good morning. The boy was stunned when she merely passed by him without a glance and replied with a snide, "Good morning, Your Majesty." Why had she addressed him as such? Had she forgotten that she still held a position of equal authority as he did?
Jasmine had never spoken so formally to him, and in truth, it frightened him that his relationship with her was crumbling so quickly. Ideally, he had only wanted her to be angry enough to want to return to the Forests of Silence, but not so much, if he could help it, that she would not want to still be friends with him at the very least. Lief did not know whether to be happy that his plan was working, or upset that it was working so well.
Indeed, the boy had nearly given in the first night he had returned to the bedchambers they shared, only to find it empty. Panic had splashed across his youthful face as he raced through the Palace, attempting to locate his wife. His heart broke when he discovered that Jasmine was not in any danger as he had originally believed; instead she was fast asleep, hugging Kree and Filli to her chest in her old chambers in which she had stayed before they were married.
Lief did not understand why it cut him so deeply each night to find her not in their bed. This was what he had wanted, was it not? Although she had not left like he had expected, it at least appeared as though she would soon.
Deep down, however, Lief was secretly quite happy and relieved that Jasmine had not yet gone back to the Forests, though he knew this was selfish. He had steeled himself to brave the unavoidable grief that would come when she did decide to, but found he was unsure whether he could take it. He had experienced living without Jasmine for a time before, and as far as he could recall, it was not pleasant.
Sharn had been the first to suspect that all was not well between the two, having noticed the now frequently empty seat beside her son at mealtimes, and it did not take long for the rest of the Palace to also notice how estranged the royal couple seemed to be lately. As he had expected, Lief soon began receiving disapproving glares, particularly from Marilen, Jasmine's closest female friend, and his mother. Even Kree and Filli had begun to shun him.
Rumors and Palace gossip soon arose once more and spread to the city like wildfire. Some speculated that the queen was heavily pregnant at last, and that her sudden coldness was the result of the mood swings that were sure to be involved. However, those who saw Jasmine's still slim body knew such tales were anything but true. Still others drew the conclusion that either one of the two monarchs were having an affair, or perhaps even both.
As he was close to the both of them, many had questioned Barda about the situation inside the Palace walls while he had patrolled the streets with Doom in search of the wanted merchant. The man had blatantly refused to answer any of them, claiming he had no interest in the youths' hotheaded relationship.
Truth be told, however, Barda was becoming increasingly worried, despite being unaware of Lief's plans and motives. Stubborn and young as they were, Lief and Jasmine were still his two closest friends, and he had no intention of seeing them fall apart. Finding Attor had been troubling enough without the thick tension that could be felt within the Palace.
Nevertheless, Lief's seclusion had made it difficult for Barda to question him, and seeing Sharn pinch the bridge of her nose in exasperation during meals reassured the man that he was not alone in his frustration.
Finally, the retired captain took it upon himself to confront Lief in his study. Bursting through the door without knocking, he startled the young king who quickly stood up. "Barda," Lief greeted solemnly. "What news do you bring?"
"This has gone on long enough, Lief," the man replied, ignoring his question altogether. Lief's face visibly darkened, and he glanced away.
"I do not know what you mean, old friend."
"You know very well what I mean!" Barda insisted, before lowering his voice. "Why are you doing this to her?" A short silence followed as the king pondered this himself.
"Never you mind, Barda," Lief answered simply, his patience already beginning to wear thin.
The former captain chose his next words carefully. "Lief," he began slowly, "there have been... rumors around Del that you have not been faithful."
At this, Lief was taken aback, "That is ridiculous, Jasmine has always been the only one." His eyes narrowed slightly; did his people really think so lowly of him? If Jasmine had heard of such tales, it would no doubt explain why she still had yet to yell at him as he expected. He certainly hoped this was not the case, however.
"Then why are you doing this?" asked Barda, restating his question. At first, the king kept silent for several moments, refusing to answer.
"I am only doing what is best for her."
"What is best for her!?" the man repeated incredulously. "You do not even speak to one another anymore, how could you possibly know what is best—"
"She almost died that day!" the boy interrupted loudly, clenching his fists. His pent up emotions from the weeks of loneliness had begun pouring out, and he did not intend to stop them. "They tried to kill her, Barda! Do you not understand? Jasmine cannot stay as my queen; I will not continue to endanger her for my own sake!"
With that, everything fell into place for the big man, and his expression turned into one of sympathy. "We have been over this before, Lief, she is quite capable of—"
"Taking care of herself," Lief finished. "Yes, I know. But that is just it, Barda! There is always the chance she will not be able to, and what then?"
Barda did not know how to answer, and Lief sighed heavily, sitting down once more. He gestured to the man to take a seat in the chair nearby. Lief then turned and placed his chin in his hand, gazing out the window at the setting sun, which surrounded the crest of the Palace Hill on the horizon with an angelic, orange halo. The dimming brightness of the sunset contrasted sharply with the darkness of the room they were currently in. Lief's hazel brown eyes softened in melancholy at the beautiful sight; it was no wonder Jasmine preferred roaming outside to the stuffy Palace walls.
"Do you think she would have been happier if we had never met her?" he whispered.
"I cannot say," Barda replied, quite surprised at the boy's sudden change in topic. "But there is no use in pondering about what ifs, if you ask me." Lief nodded in silence, and did not say a word for several minutes.
"I am afraid, Barda," he admitted finally, a hint of grief in his voice. "I have always feared she would leave me to return home; but now, I fear she will be hurt because of me if she continues to stay and I... I do not know what to think anymore."
"We know you mean well, but you are letting your head rule your heart," the man said carefully. "While she may be safer in the Forests, I am certain neither of you will be happy with the outcome. Do not make this mistake, Lief."
Another long moment of silence followed as Lief took in his friend's words. He did not deny that the past few weeks had become nothing but painful; Lief hated the awkward, tense barrier that had been raised between he and Jasmine, but he had consoled himself in thinking it was all for the best. Had he been going about this the wrong way?
"I would be a fool to believe she would even be happy to see me at this point," Lief muttered sadly.
"Go make peace with her then," Barda said, getting up to leave. "She is your wife, Lief, she will not be angry with you forever; do not make a habit of it though, she may not always forgive you." With that, the big man turned and stalked out of the study, leaving the boy alone to sort out his own thoughts.
Truthfully, Lief had been considering abandoning his plan for quite some time, even before Barda had confronted him. He knew he could not keep it up much longer if Jasmine did not leave soon, but for some unknown reason she had remained, not that he was complaining. Still, the young king was subconsciously glad to see that his wife was so loyal; whether that loyalty was due to him or her father, he did not know, but he admired it nonetheless.
The last slivers of sunlight were fading quickly away and night was soon falling. By now, Lief was well aware of the mistake he had made, or rather, the mistake he had been making. He buried his face in his hands.
Lief knew he was an emotional person, but he had never expected this fact to lead him so astray. He was not sure what his wife thought of him anymore, if he could still call her that. Would she forgive him for treating her so poorly, when she deserved nothing but the best from him? Did she even still love him? Given her stubborn nature, he doubted it, but he knew he had to at least attempt to make things right between them.
As he slowly got up to go apologize to her, Lief smiled sadly to himself. It was ironic, just this morning he had been wanting her to leave, and now hours later, he found himself hoping she was still around to make peace with. If only he could figure out what to say to her.