AN: This is a KARIVARRY (Kara/Barry/Oliver) story and their relationship is already established. This is not Kara/Barry, Kara/Oliver, Oliver/Barry, but all three of them together. THANK YOU.
So as you may have already noticed, the past three chapters were in reverse. Now, it starts off from where the first chapter ended.
WARNING: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
Kara is inconsolable.
Even Alex can't get her to stop and listen.
The blonde superhero already has Oliver gathered in her arms as she flies into the breach she'd opened, back to Earth-1.
She and Ollie are going to save Barry.
Oliver is a stubborn son of a bitch. Laurel will tell you that, his sister can attest to that, and Felicity can and probably will give her complete count of all the times Oliver had been more than just uncompromising. And it's right now that his reputation really shines because no matter how many scoldings he receives from Caitlin, or threats of a downgrade from Cisco, or heart to heart talks with various members of the West family, deep down they all know there is no changing his Oliver's mind, especially now with Kara by his side who is just as equally as stubborn.
There's no changing his mind, even though he had died — TWICE — last night after being riddled with fifteen bullets in his chest!
They all love Barry — be it as a friend or a brother or a son; he had saved each one of them countless times regardless of his own safety just so they can have theirs. They do want to save Barry and get him back, more than anything! They want to get rid of his evil twin ("Time remnant." "Really? You're gonna correct me right now?") and just have Barry back with them.
But not as much as Kara does.
Not as much as Oliver does.
The first time Barry, adorable dork that he is, had finally told them that he's dating both Oliver and Kara, looking like an excited puppy that really wanted his new family to like him, Oliver and Kara had quickly become part of their little makeshift family that always has room for more, as Iris always says.
In the past month, however, ever since Barry had gone into the Speed Force and Oliver had moved in Central City to help protect it, they'd grown to love Oliver as Oliver, and not just as someone Barry'd been dating.
So having to watch Kara help Oliver put on his suit, face tight and teeth gnashed as he fights through the pain...
It's almost like having to choose who to save: Barry or Oliver.
"You don't belong here," a woman says as she cautiously approaches them once Cisco had successfully breached them into the dimensional plane of the Speed Force. "You must leave, Oliver Queen, Kara Zor-El."
Kara goes a little pale, but not at the mention of her alien name. No, no. Eyes wide in utter shock, she is staring at the woman so intensely she may as well have drilled holes in the woman's head. She swallows quite audibly before stuttering out, "You... Y-You look e-e-exactly like—"
"Barry's mother," Oliver finishes in a voice barely above a whisper, indicating his astonishment, to which Kara finds relief in.
The woman — Barry's mom — almost looks amused. "I am merely a manifestation of the Speed Force. I take on different forms from Barry's life to make him feel more... comfortable, for the lack of a better term. You two must leave. You don't belong here."
Oliver's grip in Kara's hand tenses, and she immediately knows he's suppressing his rage, his urge to not only punch a physical representation of their boyfriend's mother but also the source of energy they're trying to rescue him from. "Neither does Barry." Kara shivers a little at the dangerously low tone he uses.
Nora shakes her head, looking almost regretful. "Barry isn't supposed to be here indeed; the prison his older self made isn't meant for him, not his younger self at least. But it was his decision to come here and face Savitar on his own, to allow his emotions to cloud his better judgment. We warned him, told him that he was a hero before anything else. And he said he knew, that he wasn't going to let grief blindside him again." Nora sighs. "But he is human. He is here now for his penance."
It's Kara's turn to squeeze Oliver's hand to repress the flaring vexation that rises within her; it was the type of anger that would have scared her if it happened any other time because such emotions drew out chaos out of her, but for now, she likes the way the flames licked at her soul, how it dances around her edges, how it makes her feel like she's dangerous and in danger all at once, how it makes her feel brave. "He made a mistake! He's human, as you just pointed out, so he's allowed to make a couple of mistakes!"
The front door opens and it's the first time Kara realizes she's standing in Joe's home, in Iris and Barry's childhood home. It's not any of the aforementioned people who enters the house, however, not even Wally.
It's her sister.
She almost breaks from Oliver's hold on her, but then Alex speaks, and it's like she is hit in the gut when she realizes the Speed Force is using her sister as a form to get through to her.
"Humans, even Kryptonians and other evolved life forms with a high enough intelligence, do make mistakes. But, tell me, Kara, how many mistakes can someone make until a line has to be crossed? We understood his grief for his mother. When he told us he'd already come to terms with his mother's death, we gave him his speed back because we believed him."
She feels flustered, so filled with frustration it almost makes her want to pull off her laser eyes. On her sister!
(Okay, not really her sister, but—)
"He made a mistake," Kara repeats albeit sounding much more calm now, even though Oliver knows she's feeling the opposite, "and he's learned from it! Isn't that what mistakes are for?"
"Yes," Alex answers as Nora walks out the front door, closing it behind her. "But not without penalty. It wasn't by accident that he went back in time to save his mother; he'd thought about it long and hard. But you see, Kara, we allowed it to happen." — Kara scoffs and Oliver just grunts — "His father had just been taken from him, brutally so. But do you just let go of someone who has committed a premeditated murder even though he has apologized?"
Kara bristles. "That's different."
"Is it really?" Alex challenges back. "It's because of him Flashpoint existed. He upset the timeline, ruined a lot of lives, despite knowing the consequences."
Oliver grinds his teeth. He wishes he were in optimal condition because then he'd fight against a sentient form of energy tooth and nail for Barry. "Anyone who lost their parents would do the same!"
Alex spares Oliver a glance and, for a moment, Kara finds it discouraging because the look her sister's copy gives her boyfriend almost perfectly mirrors Alex's expression of concern and remorse. "Anyone would, yes, but Barry led us to believe that he wasn't like anyone. Now he has to pay the price."
"He... didn't mean it." Even to Kara's own ears, her defense sounded weak.
"We understand his regret, but his actions cannot go unpunished." Alex gives them both a look that signals the end of the conversation. "You must go. You don't belong here."
"Not without Barry."
Alex sighs. "We can't allow that." She turns around, walks out the front door and doesn't come back.
"We're gonna find him, Kara. We're gonna find him and bring him back."
Kara smiles for the first time, lightly touching her eyes, and it makes Oliver's numb chest beat harder and his heart melt; he questions why he'd gone through a month of recklessness just to feel adrenaline and pain when he could've had Kara by his side and feel a whole spectrum of other and better things.
"Was there really any other plan, Ollie?"
So that's what they've been doing.
Kara spends what seems like the better part of several hours flying with Oliver in her arms. They look everywhere within Central City, but they Barry is just nowhere to be found.
Kara suggests they go try and find Barry in her Earth when Oliver levels her with a quick glance that all but reminds her they're outside the realm of space and time.
"How 'bout we call Cisco and ask for clues? I mean, he's bound to have seen some things when he saw Barry, right?" Again, Kara blanches a little at Oliver's poker face. "Okay, okay, yeah, you're right. We're on our own. Well, um... oh! You remember that night? Savitar—"
Oliver is quick to cut Kara off. "I remember." Of course he remembers. Out of all the memories he has, that's one he wants more than anything to eradicate.
Kara nods, understanding because she, too, wants nothing more than to forget. "He said that he'd been trapped in the Speed Force prison for a long time, right? That what he went through was a fate worse than death."
Oliver meets Kara's blue eyes, wise and withered with years' worth of hurt that he knows he shares in his own as well.
Kara, seeing Oliver's immediate realization, gives a stiff nod.
"If I were an extra-dimensional source of energy with a sentience and a need to put speedsters through hell," Oliver starts as he looks up, "where would Barry be?"
With the West home, CCPD, S.T.A.R. Labs and cemetery all crossed out in possible places Barry could be in, that left them with one last place they hadn't yet checked: S.T.A.R. Labs Hall, the place where it all started.
It was where the three of them had met together for the first time, and it was where the three of them had realized their feelings for each other.
Kara, being ever so gentle and mindful about his injuries ("Why didn't you tell me you were shot?! A lot, might I add!" "You were kind of having a breakdown, didn't seem like it mattered at the time!" "Of course it matters!" "Can we do this later, maybe?" "Fine!"), picks up Oliver one more time and flies to the hangar.
Kara can feel her powers slowly ebbing, having exhausted her flight in a place where a yellow sun can't exist (there is a yellow sun, but as far as she can tell, it's not real, even though she can feel the ray's light and warmth). She sets Oliver down on his feet, stumbling a little bit. She shakes herself, as if it would magically give her strength; it doesn't, but it allows her clear her mind. She needs to be strong; she has to be, for Oliver and Barry.
They're right about the S.T.A.R. Labs Hall.
Barry's inside.
He's right there, leaning against a column, completely immobile as he stares ahead at Iris', Oliver's and Kara's counterparts.
He's right there, all bloody and bruised and chained up and alive.
Iris is dead.
Oliver is dead.
And Kara blames him for all of it.
Of course it's his fault. He's used his speed for his own benefit or to save his friends so many times that some would call him a god for that. His own time remnant — all this time, Savitar is merely a time remnant of himself — is proof that he is no god. Savitar is just a man; an older version of himself broken beyond repair who had been forced to live through the hell he is in now.
This is how he turns into Savitar.
But Barry knows he can't end up as the deranged man Savitar is. That isn't who he is. At some point, he knows he'll one day get out of this godforsaken prison and emerge as Savitar, but before he would have the chance, he'd end his own life before letting all the hurt and anger dictate his choices.
Just like his grief had done so when he'd provoked Savitar into a fight here in the Speed Force, where Savitar had all but mercilessly beaten him in speed and physical prowess, where Savitar left him chained up, where Savitar ensures his creation...
Iris is dead.
Oliver is dead.
And Kara—
"This is all your fault, Barry! You could've saved Ollie! You could've saved Iris! But you were too slow!"
—blames him for all of it.
Kara tries her hardest to ignore her counterpart as insults are hurtled nonstop at Barry, blaming him for everything. Even Oliver's tight grasp on her hand doesn't assuage her own anxieties that seems to be completely parallel to Barry's guilt: the Savitar in her hallucinations is her mind's manifestation of her guilt of letting Barry go and for allowing Oliver to die. Here, the Speed Force had conjured up a version of Kara that spat out almost the same accusations as the Savitar in her head has done.
Even though her powers are weakening at this point, she is still quick to zip her way to the column at a human pace and use her strength to get the chains off of Barry. Oliver, on the other hand, wastes no time to get to Barry, his injuries be damned. He sucks in a breath when he notices just how much damage Barry has sustained; his Flash suit is in tatters, almost like someone had tried to burn it off, his leg is bent in a way that shouldn't, he has bruises visible in the neck area that disappears underneath his suit, but the worst of it all is his face.
Half of his face is horribly maimed, looking a little worse than road rash. The eye on the injured part has red blotches that makes him cringe a little and he briefly wonder if Barry can still see out of that eye.
He makes sure his steps are loud and brings his hands up to signal Barry that they — the real Oliver and Kara — are here. But Barry's eyes are glazed over, not like he's seeing another world behind a memory or a nightmare; it's more like he's... gone.
Oliver's chest clenches in a way that sends more pain into his brain than his injury does. Is this it? Has Savitar won? Has he ensured that Barry would turn into him?
Against his better judgment, Oliver gingerly puts a hand on the unharmed part of Barry's face and angles his head toward him to force him to look his way and not at his dead counterpart the Speed Force had made up.
"Barry," he says, as gently as he had when he was calming Kara down earlier. "Barry, sweetheart, it's me. Oliver. I'm here. Kara's here. We're both here, all right? I'm not dead. Kara doesn't blame you at all."
It saddens Kara beyond the guilt she has for herself. She allows herself to feel every emotion life decides to throw at her: the relief of finding Barry alive, the shock at Barry's marred face, the anger she has at herself for letting this happen; she's done pushing everything away because she has to face it, has to come to terms with it, if she has any chance of helping Barry.
"We're here, Barry. We love you." She cries. "Come back to us. Please, please..."
Oliver reaches out with his other hand to hold Kara's, and she isn't sure if it's meant to calm her or himself.
"Don't listen to her," she continues to say, referring to the false Kara that hasn't shut up, "She's lying. None of this is your fault. We're here. Ollie's here. Iris is back on Earth-1, breathing and walking."
Barry groans, the first time he's made a response, provoking a simultaneous reaction from both Kara and Oliver, the former gasps while the latter stiffens.
"Barry?" And neither one of them is sure who actually says it; maybe they had said at the same time.
"I..." It's one word. Barry had just said one word, yet it held crescendos and a thousand worlds' worth of broken agony that lances through both Kara and Oliver with searing pain. Barry — sweet, loving, caring Barry Allen, of all people — does not deserve this; how could the Speed Force think Barry deserves this? "M-My f-f-fault..."
"No. God, Barry. It's not your fault."
"C-Can-n't."
"Can't what?"
"Can't b-b-be S-Savitar."
Kara is about to reassure him that he won't turn into Savitar, that not only does he have her and Oliver but a whole army of friends who'd make sure he won't turn into the monster when he says it.
"Kill m-me. Can't be-e Sav-v-vita-ar." Barry cries. Kara flinches a little when a tear escapes his injured eye and trails down the open wounds. "Ca-an't be a-a-a mons-ster."
Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave comment.