So, here's 'episode' 3 of ....THE KINGDOM HEARTS/DISNEY TALK/DARE SHOW!! So our guests for today are none other than Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck or Goofy. They belong to Walt Disney, and so rightly they do.
Disney: Hello ladies and gentlemen! And welcome to…
Me and Disney: The Kingdom Hearts/Disney Talk/Dare Show!!!!!
Audience: *cheers and clap*
Disney: This 'episode' will be a very special one. *Thoughts- Oh goody!! I'll be seeing them after oh so long!! (Dances like a retarded fool in his mind)*
Me: And you'll see soon enough. Our first guest today! He's got big ears, he's so brave, it brings a tear to my eye *sniffs and wipes tear* and he's one of my favorite characters of all time! Give it up for…Mickey Mouse!!!
*Mickey Mouse enters, well received with a round of applause and cheering*
Disney: Mickey…it's been so long. *hugs Mickey, who happily returns it*
Me and Audience: AAAAWWWWWWW!!!
Mickey: Aw…thanks Walt, it's great to see ya again too! Thanks again for invitin' me!
Me: No problem Mickey.
*Mickey takes seat*
Me: Now our next guest, he has feathers, he wears a sailor suit and yet he's a land lubber (whatever that means), and man, what a temper he's got. Ladies and gentlemen…Donald Duck!!
*Donald Duck enters and there is a huge round of applause. Suddenly some people start throwing rotten tomatoes at him and laugh*
Donald: Bah… *He wipes off a tomato that hit his face*
Me *angry*: Now that wasn't very nice. *shouts* ALRIGHT, WHO THREW THOSE TOMATOES?!
*No one in the audience says anything*
Me (still shouting): WELL?! *Still silence* *goes back to normal voice, but still angry*
You leave me no choice. Everyone in the audience must be burnt to a crisp, then soaked to death, and then receive the shock of their lives – and finally hit with a combination of Solar-beam, Ice-beam, Hyper-beam, Aurora-beam and Psy-beam!
Audi. Member 1: HEY! Isn't that being really unfair to those who DIDN'T throw tomatoes at Donald?
Me: Yes, I am aware of that. But you'll see soon enough. POKEMON!
*All of the Pokemon security guards enter*
Me: ATTACK THE AUDIENCE!!
Audience: NOOOOOO!!!!!
Me: YEEESSSS!!!!
*Pokemon attack. First there are fire-based attacks, burning people to a crisp, and then there are water-based attacks, extinguishing them but also drenching them, then electric-based attacks, shocking everyone and burning them to a crisp –again- and finally a variety of colorful, but powerful beams are fired at the audience, causing damage at unimaginable levels*
Audi. Member 1 (same one from before): Hey, we're alright.
*Then there is murmurs of other people saying how they're alright too*
Audi. Member 2: Hey look! These guys over here have become ashes! *Sure enough, there are piles of ashes where audience members once stood*
Me: Yes, you see, only the people who DID throw tomatoes at Donald would suffer. BWA HAHA HAAA! *Insert lightning background. People go O.O* Now you know what'll happen if anything like that happens again. GOT THAT?! *You thought she was gonna say 'Got it memorized' didn't ya?*
Audi. Member 3: Yeah, we get that, but will they be alright?
Me: Of course! They'll be back to their normal selves soon enough. In fact, they should be back to themselves right about…*checks watch* now.
*The ashes suddenly form back into human beings (and anyone else in the audience) and they're all happy again*
Donald: *gets sprayed by a water hose and all the rotten tomatoey mess is all gone* Bah…
Me: What are you, Scrooge? You always keep saying "Bah". You might as well say "Humbug" and get it over with.
Donald: *After drying himself with a towel* No, I'm not Scrooge; he's Scrooge. *A projection of Scrooge McDuck appears on the screen*
Me: I know that! Anyways, have you met Disney?
Donald: I have. It's good to see you again Mr. Disney. *shakes hands with Disney and then hugs him*
Disney: Great to see you too Donald. Have a seat.
Donald: Okay. *sits down next to Mickey*
Me: And now, here comes our final guest! He's a really sweet guy, but he's really clumsy. And yet we still love him. Give it up for…Goofy!
*Goofy enters and receives a huge round of applause. He waves to the crowd, but trips over the wires, falling on his face. He does his signature "Hyuck" and gets up*
Goofy: Hiya everyone.
Me: Hi Goofy! Welcome to the show.
Goofy: Thanks. Uh…hiya Mr. Disney! It's good to see ya!
Disney: It's good to see you too Goofy. *Hugs Goofy*
Goofy: Aw shucks. *Blushes and sits down next to Donald*
Me: Now that everyone's here, let's get on with the show! But I have some bad news: No one sent me any dares or questions for the show.
Audience, Disney, Mickey, Donald, Goofy: AWWWWWWW...
Me: Why are you three going "awww"? Usually the guests go "YESSS!" whenever I don't have anything torturous for them to do or anything personal, embarrassing or just plain stupid to answer.
Mickey: We know, we just feel sorry for ya.
Me: Awww ^__^. Wait…HEY! =(
*Mickey, Donald and Goofy laugh*
Me: Oh and guess what; Mr. Disney, you're a guest too!
Disney: WHAT?! But I'm the co-host of the show!
Me: Yeah, but you're also the creator of our guests, so you'll clearly have the answers to our questions.
Disney: Alright, I'll be a guest, but just this once.
Me: Uh………okay, sure.
? : Hi everybody!
Donald: What was that?
Me: There's only one person who could say that sentence extensively like that, and that's…
*Spotlight points at none other than…*
Everyone but the guests and Disney: DR. NICK?! (A/N: You know, Doctor Nick from the "Simpsons")
Dr. Nick: Like I said, hi everybody! *like he always says it*
Every person in the set right now: Hi Doctor Nick! *like people always say it*
Me: Dr. Nick? What are you doing here?
Dr. Nick: I came over to say hi! And I did!
10 yr. old Audi. Member: Wait, but didn't you die in "The Simpsons Movie" when that huge shard of glass fell on you?
Dr. Nick: *Ominous voice* Yes, and I have returned from the dead to take over the world! MWA HAAH HAAAAAA!! *Ominous background*
Everyone but Dr. Nick: O.O
Me: Alright, that's it. SECURITY!
*Murkrow, Staraptor and Dragonair enter*
Me: Take him away!
*Pokemon hauls him away*
Dr. Nick: You'll be hearing from my lawyers!
Me: Yeah whatever. Anyway, here are the questions!
Audience: WHOOO!!
Me: The first one goes to our very own Mickey Mouse!
Mickey: How do you clean your ears? I mean, they're flat and all, so it must be hard. (A/N: Hey, haven't you people ever thought about that?)
Mickey: Well…gee, I've never really cleaned the insides of my ears before.
Me: You mean to tell us that you've never cleaned your ears?
Mickey: Nope.
Audience: !!!!!!
Mickey: What? It's true!
Me: Oookay…let's move on to the next question. This is for Donald.
Disney: Hey, can I actually ask them a question?
Me: No you can't.
Disney: Why not?
Me: 'Because you're a guest, that's why.
Disney: Aww man! 3
Donald: Can I have my question now?
Me: Okay, here you go *hands him a slip of paper*
Donald: *Reads paper* "Who's my fav. Jonas Brother?" What sort of question are you asking?!
Me: You said "Can I have my question?", not "Can you ask me the question?". Am I wrong people?
Disney, Mickey, Goofy and Audience: No, you're not!
Me: See? Now here's the real question, Donald. Happy? It's from none other than calvinboy3 (=-)
Donald: *grumbles and mumbles incomprehensible words* Oh, and the answer is Joe. I WANT HIS HAIR!
Audi. Member 3: Join the club.
Me: Right then!
Donald: Why do you have such a huge temper?
Donald: I don't have a big temper!
Everyone else: Yes you do!
Donald: But I don't explode all the time.
Everyone else: Yes you do
Donald: *angry* WHAAA?! *Starts quacking angrily like he always does* *advancing to Nee-Nee in a menacing manner*
Me: Uh-oh, he's about to attack. Pikachu!
*Pikachu enters*
Me: Use Thunderbolt on Donald!
Pikachu: Piiii-kaaa-chuuuuu! *Fires Thunderbolt on Donald. Donald is hurt and shuts up for the time being*
Me: Now let's move on to the next question. Disney-
*Suddenly there is smoke everywhere. People are coughing and trying to clear it up. Suddenly voices cry out*
?: An evil as old as the galaxy!
?: Sent here to fulfill our destiny! *Who else could it be? Seriously…*
?: To denounce the evils of truth and love!
?: To extend our reach to the stars above!
*Smoke clears to reveal none other than…*
Jessie: Jessie!
James: James!
Meowth: Meowth's the name!
Jessie: Wherever there's peace in the universe…
James: Team Rocket…
Meowth:…will be there…
All three: To make everything worse! (A/N: I don't know the DP motto they have in the anime, and this is the one they make up when Ash and co. travel through Kanto in Battle Frontier)
Me *sarcastic*: Ooh, Team Rocket. Surprise, surprise. *rolls eyes* Whatever shall we do to stop them from stealing all the Pokemon?
Jessie: Well listen up twerp-ette, we're here to steal your Pokemon!
Me: (only for audience and readers) Obviously.
James: And this time, we won't fail.
Me: Like you've done the last 5,739 times? :/ (A/N: it's all made up as you see)
Meowth: YEAH…wait, HEY! You got a big mouth to be talking big!
Me: I didn't want to do this, but you have left me no choice. POKEMON!
*All the Pokemon enter*
Me: Battle Procedure # 12, NOW!
*All the Pokemon attack (basically it's the same thing that happened with the audience) and Team Rocket blast off…again*
Disney: *clears throat* Can we go on?
Me: YES WE WILL! As I was saying, the next question is for Disney!
Disney- Why does almost every cartoon character of yours have gloves on 24/7?
Disney: I don't know, I guess I just wanted them to wear gloves. Nothing else to say.
Me: Riiigghhht – that's what they all say-…anyhoo, let's move on to a question for ol' Goof here.
Goofy: That's me, Hyuck!
Goofy: Who do you think is smarter, Donald, or a bucket?
Goofy: Gee…I'd hafta say…the bucket!
Everyone but Donald: *Laughing our guts out*
Me: That is -*laugh* - so -*snort*-true!
Donald: *Too angry to say anything. You can see the steam coming from his head, or read in this case*
Me: Calm down Donald. Let's see if that's true, ooooonnnnnn……
Random kids: ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A BUCKET? *Sung like the theme song for "Are you Smarter than a Fifth-grader?" (A/N: Just because the name of the show is similar to the real-life show, doesn't mean that it is exactly the same*
Disney: Hello ladies and gentlemen…
Audience: WHOOO!!
Disney: Well, thank you very much. Now welcome to the mini-show 'Are You Smarter than a Bucket'. You all know me, Walt Disney. I'm here with today's contestants, Donald Duck *Donald waves at the crowd*, and…our show's bucket, Carl. *spotlight shines at a regular red bucket. Cricket chirping can be heard*
Disney: Now, the rules are that you will both be given one question that you must answer in 30 seconds. Ready…begin!
*Donald looks at his question and thinks hard about the answer for this one question and starts writing his answer, while the bucket named Carl simply stands there, in all its bucket-ing glory*
Disney: Time's up! Now, let's see what these two have said. *Takes paper from Donald and then takes paper from the bucket*
Now the question that these two had to answer was the simplest question of the lot: 2 + 2!
Now Donald's answer was…4!
*Audience clap, Donald bows and looks all braggy, as if he already won (I know braggy is not a real word, but work with me people!)*
Disney: However! The bucket's answer was…2 square. The winner is…*opens envelope and reads it*
*Drumroll, Donald crosses all of his fingers and even his webbed feet. Audience is waiting at the edge of their seats. Bucket does nothing, again.*
Disney: The winner is…Carl the bucket!!
*Audience cheers like mad. Donald's beak falls off and he stoops low in shame. Carl still doesn't do anything. Confetti falls from the sky from Confetti-Land, where you can find confetti everywhere you look. World-wide, people are snoring, watching (or reading) out of pure boredom, this mini-show, wanting to watch the KH/Disney show again (Aww, I feel so loved!). Huey, Dewey, and Louie are laughing their brains, guts and other body organs off at this humiliating moment of their uncle*
Audi. Member 4: Hah! The bucket won, you see?! That'll be 100,000 munny!
Audi. Member 2: Aw man! Worst 100,000 munny I ever lost. *hands him (or her, whatever you want) 100,000 munny*
Disney: Well better luck next time Donald. Now look at that camera over there. *Donald looks at us *or camera rather* and tell the whole universe that you are not smarter than a bucket!
Donald: Wha?! The whole universe?!
Disney: Yes, don't you know? The whole universe watches the 'Kingdom Hearts/Disney Talk/Dare Show'.
*Somewhere in outer space, far, far away from Earth, a family of extra-terrestrials are watching this show in their intergalactic living-room eating popcorn, nachos and intergalactic chocolate*
*Donald is sobbing at the moment, while Huey, Dewey and Louie are laughing even harder. When they are done, they put paper bags over their heads in shame (yes that also includes Donald) because they know that their friends are also watching this show and will tease them later*
Donald: *sighs* Why me? *cries again*
Disney: Donald?
Donald: Yeah?
Disney: Take off the paper bag. The whole universe has to see your face.
Donald: *takes off paper bag while mumbling more words (words that should be heard by little kids* 'sigh' I am Donald Duck, and I…am not smarter than a bucket. Oh the humiliation.
*Audience claps while Bucket is being carried off. Set changes back to the set for KH/Disney show*
Me: Ooh, better luck next time Donald, but here's your consolation prize. A pie just for you!
Donald: Gee thanks *Takes pie and starts eating. Suddenly he rushes to the bathroom*
Disney: Um, Nee-Nee? What exactly did you put in that pie?
Me: Oh, just the usual, and I added this extra ingredient called 'laxatives'. I baked hundreds of them with that stuff. What are they again?
*Disney whispers in Nee-Nee's ear*
Me: Oops, my bad. Not a word about this to Donald!
Audience and everyone else there: Okay!
Mickey: Remind me never to go on any of the mini-shows in this show.
Goofy: Gawrsh, why's that Mickey?
Mickey: Let's just say I don't want to lose and get Nee-Nee's consolation prizes.
Goofy: *thinks long and hard* I don't get it.
Mickey: *sighs*
Me: Okay Mickey, here's your dare!
Mickey- Stand in front of a tiger in a cage and try not to escape in fear
Mickey: That's it? Too easy!
Disney: If you say so. Bring in the tiger!
*Tiger in a cage is brought in by professionals (in other words, 5 year olds bring in the tiger)*
Me: Enter the cage please Mickey.
*Mickey enters the cage. Tiger looks at him hungrily, as if it wants to eat it. So it looks down on Mickey to scare him. Mickey is scared out of his pants, in fact so scared that he wets them and then…*
Mickey: Ahhh!!!!!!! Let me outta here!!!!! *Struggles to open cage and manages to escape. He runs from set screaming like a squeaky mouse (but then again, he is a mouse). Donald returns from the bathroom. He sees the open cage and the tiger and runs away as well, yelling. Goofy runs away as well*
Me: Why are you running away?
Goofy: I need the exercise. Eeeh-hoo-hoo-hooey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *with that he runs off*
Disney: Okay then.
Audi. Member 3: OMJ! (A/N: As in 'Oh My Jonas'! Yeah, I know, I made her (yes it's a she) a JoBro fan) The tiger's loose!
*Sure enough, the tiger is no longer in the cage. People in the audience scream and run for their lives*
Audi. Member 4: Run for your lives! There's a vicious tiger on the prowl!!!
Me: Everyone please calm down! The tiger won't hurt you!
Tiger: Yeah, dudes. Like, just chill.
Audi. Member 2: It can talk?!
Tiger: Yo, I'm a HE. Y'know!
Disney: What, you honestly think that we'd get just any ordinary tiger?
Audi. Member 2: Um, yes?
Tiger: By the way, I'm a vegetarian. So technically, I wouldn't have eaten the little mouse dude.
Audi. Member 4: What?! A tiger that's a vegetarian?
Audi. Member 1: Wow, you must be a shame to tigers all over the world.
Tiger: Waaahh!! *cries* You don't have to rub it in, you know! *continues to cry. Nee-Nee and Disney comfort him* Just because I'm not a carnivore doesn't mean I'm not popular or special!
Me: There, there. Why don't you go back into the cage T-Z and we'll ship you back home.
T-Z: Thank you. Bye everyone!
Audience, Disney and Me: Bye T-Z!
*T-Z enters cage and locks it. 5 year olds return after their nap and take him back. Audience cheer*
*Mickey, Donald and Goofy enter the set, but slowly and cautiously*
Goofy: Is he gone?
Me: Yeah, he's gone back home.
Mickey: Wow, a vegetarian tiger. And to think we were frightened of him.
Donald: Poor guy, he must be a shame to tigers all over the world.
T-Z (off set): You don't have to rub it in you know! *starts crying again and does not stop until he is back home in…Las Vegas*
Me: Moving on! Okay Goofy, you're next on our dare list!
Goofy: Hyuck!
Goofy: You must do the tango with one of these three candidates
Goofy: Uh…okay.
Me: Presenting our three candidates. Number 1- Cid!
*Cid enters, looking gruff as always*
Cid: Hey y'all. *Stands on a platform*
Disney: Hello Cid, welcome to the show.
Me: Number 2- Sora
*Sora enters, waving at the crowd*
Sora: Hey everyone, it's great to be back! *stands next to Cid on the platform* Why am I here again?
Me: *Ignores Sora* And our third candidate- none other than our own- Walt Disney!
Disney (who wasn't paying attention oddly enough): What? *Disappears in a cloud of smoke and appears on the platform next to Sora*
Me: Now Goofy, you must pick one of these three. Who will it be?
*The other two point at Disney, while Disney points at the other two*
Goofy: Hmm…I think it'll have to be…Disney!
Disney: !!!!!!!
Me: *pokes ear hole to regain hearing or whatever it is you do* Wow, I think you just destroyed every glass window in the world with that scream. Now Disney, get down and dance with your man!
Disney: *gets down and takes Goofy's hand*
Me: Are you ready?
Goofy: Yep!
Disney: As ready as I'll ever be.
Me: You guys ready?
Audience, Sora, Cid, Pokemon, Mickey and Donald: Yes!
Me: Start the music!
*Tango music starts playing. Goofy leads while Disney follows. Surprisingly, they both make a good dance couple. When the music stops, everyone is cheering and whistling*
Disney: Wow…
Goofy: Hyuck!
Me: That was so cool!
Disney: Goofy, I must tell you something. The truth is; I love you Goofy!
Everyone but Disney: O.o
Some people in the audience: XP
*Silence*
Me: Oookay, I'm sure he's just joking, *nervous laughter* aren't you Walt?
Disney: NO! I'm in love with Goofy Goof and I'm proud of that!
Mickey: Gee thanks Disney, I feel sooo loved.
Donald: Ditto.
Me: Walt, we all know very well that Goofy loves Clarabelle. And he has a son too.
Goofy: Yeah. Gee, I'm sorry Mr. Disney, but I love Clarabelle. You're more like a godfather for me. I've got a son back home too, he's the most important in my life right now.
Mickey & Donald: Ditto on the god-father thing.
Disney: Oh. It's okay Goofy. I understand, but remember this. I'll wait for you Goofy. Ya hear me? I'LL WAIT FOR YOU FOREVER!
Everyone but Disney: o.O
Me: You must have had too much caffeine. Disney, go back stage and have some decaf and get some rest.
Disney: Yes ma'am. *goes backstage and does not come back for the rest of the show*
Cid: Thank goodness for that! I thought he'd never leave. Well, I'm outta here.
Me: Bye Cid. Oh wait, here's you check for 50,000 munny for comin' on the show *hands him check for 50,000 munny. That's a lot of munny no?*
Cid: Thanks kid. *Leaves set*
Me: Well, you know the next dare was for Disney, but forget it. So really, that's just about it folks. The show's over.
Sora: Hey wait what about Donald?
Donald: Eh? What about me?
Sora: He hasn't done his dare.
Me: Well, really, I think that Donald went through enough humiliation with the whole 'Are you Smarter than a Bucket?' show to really have a dare.
Donald: This has been great! It was fun being on the show. Even though I got humiliated by a bucket…
Goofy: …and now Mr. Disney is in love with me…
Mickey: …and I wet my pants because of a vegetarian tiger.
All 3: We love you all!
Audience: *Cheers*
*'Hot Dog Song' from the 'Mickey Mouse Clubhouse' starts playing and everyone (oddly enough), starts dancing the 'Hot Dog Dance'*
Me: And that ends our show! Tune in to the next episode of…
Me, Sora, Mickey, Donald & Goofy: The Kingdom Hearts/Disney Talk/Dare Show!
Me: Next time, we'll be have two of our old guests come back-
Sora: Ooh, ooh! Am I coming back?!
Me: Can't you be patient Sora?! Like I was saying, two of our old guests are coming back along with two of our new ones. Who they are, you'll have to see!
Sora: It's Roxas and Axel isn't it?
Me: Them, and Demyx and Zexion. But don't worry Sora; you'll be back again soon. Well, you just gotta wait and see what's in store for these people. That is of course, if you send the author dares and questions…
Well, you heard Nee-Nee; please review and send in your, yes YOUR, dares and questions! They are appreciated...
StarzXAndXMoon