Hello again Its chapter four already ; I tend to update once a day huh? Oh well, here goes

Disclaimers: I do not own Naruto or the Akatsuki or the phrase 'Art is a bang'. The first two belong to Masashi Kishimoto and the last blongs to Taro Okamoto

Warning: Crack! I reckon I've got more crack in here than in the other chapters

Note: Hidan's swear words will be replaced by sugar stuff which will be underlined...and Zetsu's dark side will be in bold

--

It took several hours for everyone to haul themselves onto the island. Deidara, Kisame and Konan's race had finally finished, and they passed the finish line, AKA landed on the island in that order.

Tobi and Hidan got there eventually, while having to drag Sasori who just floated around with a dazed expression on his face. Probably from shock.

Pein had to go back and direct Itachi towards the correct direction, pull the flailing Zetsu out of the water and lift all of Kakuzu's money suitcases for him. Why? Because nobody else wanted to do it.

"Well, we're all here, the storm had gone, and we should be fine!" Pein said, brushing sand off his precious Akatsuki robe and trying to make the best of the situation.

"Fine lolly nothing," Hidan grumbled. "We're stuck on the candy island with no cookie food and no cake way away from here."

Sasori, Itachi and Konan were still acting in a dignified manner. Well...it was hard for the Uchiha since he was partially blind, but he just managed it all the same.

Deidara, Tobi and Zetsu were running around and screaming on the sand, sounding like pigs being butchered, while Kisame watched.

"I highly doubt that's going to attract attention," an amused Kisame pointed out.

"Tobi is a good boy! Sempai said Tobi would get a clay sculpture if Tobi ran around in the sand with him," the self-proclaimed good boy shouted proudly.

"Yeah, exploded on you un," the said Sempai muttered, careful not to let Tobi hear.

"Aww, come on Deidara, that's not nice," Zetsu's white side had overheard him. "Yeah, imagine if we did that to you,"his black side poked himself suspiciously. Since when had both sides of Zetsu agreed with themselves?

Deidara either didn't hear, or pretended not to hear as the three of them continued what they had been doing.

Kakuzu was counting his money, as usual, making sure not a single penny had been lost to the ocean. But suddenly..."I'M MISSING FIVE DOLLARS!!" Kakuzu hollered at the top of his lungs.

Everyone previously engaged in activities turned to face him, except Itachi looked the other way.

"Oh come on Kakuzu, its only five dollars," Konan snapped half-way through drying herself.

"Yeah Kakuzu. Besides, it's not like money's gonna help us in this situation un!" Deidara pointed out.

"You know how the lolly cookie is with money." Hidan had turned his attention back to the argument with Pein.

"If it really bothers you that much, I'll steal five bucks for you when we get back," Kisame offered helpfully.

"When we get back," Zetsu repeated. "Are we ever going to get back?"

"Of course we are!" Pein snapped, annoyed that his subordinates didn't believe in their leader.

Sasori, who had so far said nothing, sighed. "So hurry up and invent some weird jutsu to take us back. You know I don't like to be kept waiting."

"You?" Hidan asked incredulously. "I've got my cookie sacrifices to Jashin!"

"I need to wash and arrange my hair un! Its filthy! Look at it!" Everyone looked at Deidara, except Itachi looked at Hidan instead. His eyesight was really failing him.

"There's no difference," Sasori pointed out, bewildered like everyone else.

"No difference!?" Deidara shrieked. "LOOK AT IT!" He held his hair up, and finally everyone except for Itachi saw it. The tiniest speck of brown against the blonde. "See it now?" he screeched.

"Deidara, it's just a speck of dirt," Kakuzu said patiently. "It's nowhere near as important as money."

"Nowhere near...?" Deidara howled.

Luckily for the readers, Pein, Konan and Sasori broke them up before they could drag this on for hours, and totally mess the island up.

"So what do we do?" Itachi had finally asked the question everyone was thinking.

"I'm going to invent my 'weird jutsu to take us back', Sasori," Pein shot at him and stomped off, tripping in the sand and cursing. Hidan giggled behind his back, and was ignored by everyone.

Sasori merely shrugged. "Just hurry up."

"SO WHAT DO WE DO?" Deidara yelled in frustration, not at all glad that they had side-tracked from the original purpose.

"Tobi is a good boy. Tobi thinks this is just like vacation," Tobi bounced into their 'meeting' thing.

Everyone except for Zetsu (who actually tolerated Tobi) and Pein (who had gone to invent some weird jutsu) and Kisame(who liked the idea) rolled their eyes.

"Why not guys? Just treat it like a vacation, like Tobi said." Kisame patted Tobi's head fondly.

"Vacation? We have no food, no shelter and no means to get back. You expect us to enjoy ourselves?" Konan said coldly. She was already annoyed at becoming wet, and now had to spend who knows how long with these bunch of idiots.

"Erm...yes?"

"THAT'S IT!" Konan stomped off, in a very similar fashion to Pein. Maybe she was his puppet or something...

"Bye!" Deidara yelled cheerfully, waving at her retreating form.

"So what the pineapple do we do now?" Hidan repeated the question for the third time.

"Sit back and relax."

Huh?

Everyone looked around, wondering who said that. All eyes turned to Kisame first, but he shook his head. Deidara? Nope. The blonde mimicked the action. Kakuzu? No. He was too busy counting money. Tobi? He was currently miles away, hyperactive on seawater. Who would have guessed...?

That only left Zetsu, Sasori, Hidan and Itachi, the unlikeliest people.

"Is it so hard to figure it out? I said it you idiots!"

Eyes turned to Hidan, Zetsu and to Sasori. The puppetmaster rolled his eyes.

"Duh!"

"Did...did you just say 'sit back and relax' Danna un?" A wide-eyed Deidara asked tentatively.

"Do you understand Japanese?"

"We're speaking French," Zetsu whispered frantically into Sasori's ear. "No...Italian!" "French!" "Italian!"

"Oh...do you understand French...or Italian?"

"I thought we were speaking Portuguese." Tobi popped out of nowhere.

"Spanish," Itachi put in.

"YOU IDIOTS! WE'RE SPEAKING ENGLISH!" Pein's voice roared from somewhere beyond the stage.

"Oh..."

...

The silence was deafening.

"When did we learn how to speak English?"

--

Well, that's chapter four done. Hope you enjoyed it ;

Art is a bang XD