Insecurities

Chapter 4

(AN: Thank you for the wonderful response to the story so far. I would like to clarify something that was brought up in one of the reviews though. Please know that this is not meant as an attack, as I do appreciate all input. It was mentioned that I was portraying Sara as 'needy' and while we all are to a degree, I am not trying to make her overly so, after all, she is the one who walked out when it came down to it. Needy woman are not the ones who leave in those situations. They are the ones who are left behind. I look forward to reading your thoughts on this and chapter 4. Again, I really like the comments, but I felt the need to clarify my thoughts. Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. Disclaimer: I do not own CSI)

Gil sat on the couch; he could feel the start of the migraine. Stress of course, he thought. He was trying to close his eyes when he heard ringing. He grumbled as he fumbled for the phone. "Grissom," he tersely answered.

"Gil, its Catherine. I'm sorry, I know you're not well, but we have a situation…"

He could hear the uncertainty and possibly fear in her voice, "Catherine what's wrong?"

"There was a shooting at a hit and run scene. Four were shot, two uniforms and…" she paused and took a deep breath, "and two CSI's. One of the uniformed officers was pronounced at the scene."

"Catherine who was it?" Grissom was now racing around grabbing his wallet, shoes, and keys.

"Sara and Nick. They're both at Desert Palms Hospital."

He nearly choked on his breath, "But…Sara's not on tonight."

"She called and asked if we needed any extra help, so I sent her with Nick."

"Cath, I'm on my way to the hospital, the shooting scene is yours, call in all shifts if you need them. Everyone wears their bullet proof vest. Everyone."

"I'll take care of it."

"Oh and Catherine," he was now climbing into his vehicle.

"Yeah."

"Be careful."

"Always."

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Grissom pulled into the parking lot of Desert Palms about ten minutes later. He jumped out of the car and ran through the entrance. There was a bustle of activity. Many police officers were waiting on word. Including Jim Brass.

"Gil, over here." He called to his friend.

"How is she?" He knew he should have said 'they,' but he needed to know about her first.

"One shot in the abdomen, Nick was shot in the hip and shoulder, and officer Landry was shot in the back. They are all either in surgery or on their way." He spoke matter-of-factly.

"Jim, what the hell happened?"

"We are still not completely sure. Nick and Sara were shot while exiting their Denali. Landry and McIntire were standing near the front of it."

"McIntire?" Grissom questioned, having a hard time following what was happening.

"Yeah, he died at the scene." Jim looked at his feet before continuing, "There may have been two shooters, but that hasn't been confirmed yet. Every cop in the city wants a part of the investigation."

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It felt like an eternity later when the doctor came into the waiting room. "Are you waiting for word on a Nicholas Stokes?"

"Yes, yes, I am," Grissom said as he and Jim jumped to their feet.

"Well, his surgery went well. He is very lucky, both bullets missed major arteries. He should be headed home in a couple days. He's in recovery right now, but you'll be able to he him soon."

"That's great to hear. Do you know anything about the others?"

"Only that they are still in surgery. Hopefully someone will be out shortly to update you on their condition."

"Thank you," both Jim and Grissom replied.

The doctor nodded and walked away.

Grissom called Catherine to update her on Nick's condition and to get an update on the investigation. While he was speaking, someone came out to talk to Brass, "Uh, Catherine I have to go. You're doing a great job. Bye."

The other man walked away as Grissom approached his friend, "What's going on?" He asked a little weary of the answer.

"You can see Nick now. What did Catherine say?"

"Definitely two shooters, possibly gang related, but their still checking all of the evidence." Jim nodded. "I'm going to see Nick now, let me know if there is any news on Sara."

"Will do."

Grissom made his way down the hall to Nick.

Nick looked up, happy to see a familiar face, "Hey Griss."

"How are you feeling?"

"Sore, but alive."

Grissom nodded, "What happened?"

"I'm not sure. One minute we were climbing out of the Denali, the next we were both on the ground. I'm sorry it just happened so fast. How is Sara?"

"She's in surgery."

"She was supposed to have tonight off, Griss. She was upset about something, but she didn't want to talk about. I figured she had had an argument with her new guy. You'll let me know how she is? The nurses don't share too much."

"As soon as I hear." Grissom nodded, trying to control his emotions. "I'm going to go find out what I can now. I'll be back in a bit, why don't you get some rest."

Nick nodded, unsure about the expressions on his supervisor's face.

Grissom left Nick's room and headed for the bathroom. He walked into a stall, closed the door, then leaned against it. His head fell into his hands as he began to cry. He had taken the night off to spend with her, but instead drove her out of his home and into work. How could things have gone so horribly wrong? He loved her, more than anyone, and for much longer than anyone knew, even her. He needed to make this right somehow.

His cell phone began to vibrate. He collected himself as best he could before answering, "Grissom."

"Gil, it's Jim. The doctor is here about Sara."

"I'm on my way."

He practically sprinted down the hall.

"How is she?" He asked the doctor as he approached.

"She's stable. She lost a lot of blood, but the surgery went well."

"When can I see her?"

"It may be about an hour, we'll let you know."

"Thank you."

The doctor turned to leave as Grissom let out a deep breath of relief.

"We got an update on Landry also," Jim said solemnly, "He's going to be paralyzed."

"Oh, god." Grissom looked around and saw a woman crying surrounded by other cops and what looked to be family. He assumed that was Landry's wife. He felt so bad for her at that moment. He suddenly really needed to see Sara. He needed to know that she was going to be alright. "I have to see Sara."

Jim just nodded as Grissom left the room. He found a nurse, "Excuse me, I need to see Sara Sidle, she just got out of surgery."

"I'm sorry, but visitors are not allowed yet."

"I need to see her," His eyes pleaded for help.

"She is still unconscious."

"Please, just let me sit with her."

The nurse pressed her lips together and thought for a moment, "Alright, come with me." She took him to Sara's room. She was sleeping so peacefully.

"Thank you."

The nurse left the two alone. Grissom pulled a chair up to Sara's bed. He picked up her hand in his, and then stroked it with his other hand. "Sara, I am so sorry this happened to you. I am sorry that you felt like you had to go into work to get away from me. I love you so much. I just don't know how to make you to believe that." He sat silently for a while watching her sleep, stoking her hand.

An hour or two later, she began to stir, "Sara, honey, it's okay. I'm here."

Her eyelids began to flicker, "Gil?"

"Yes baby, I'm here."

She looked confused. "Where's Nick, is he okay?"

"Nick's going to be fine. He is just down the hall. Sara, I am so sorry I hurt you. I don't want to lose you. When I got that phone call tonight, I was terrified I was going to lose you forever. I don't ever want to feel like that again. I love you so much." His head knew he was throwing too much at her at once, but his heart wouldn't shut-up.

"Gil, slow down, my head is swimming with all of the paid meds they must have me on right now."

"Sorry."

"It's okay, maybe in a little while we can try this conversation again." She saw the hurt look on his face. "Would you stay with me until then?" She wasn't ready to talk yet, but she was scared of what had happened that night. All of it, the fight and the shooter. Right now she needed to just be held.

He pulled his chair closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. He would stay until she was ready to talk.

TBC

Please let me know what you think. Thank you.