November 7, 2015, 17:45 hrs.
"TADAHHHH!"
They know Craig Pelton is there by the door, and he probably has his arm up like a Jane Fonda entrance, but he's drowned by all the purple throbbing from inside his apartment. Everything is in varying shades of lurid neon, even the newly installed dusty shag carpet, vivified by everything that's in the living room.
Jeff has a 26 ounce iced tea mix can under his arm and Summer behind him.
"Oh. You're staying in, too?" Craig Pelton mumbled.
He waves at them to follow him in.
"I'm sorry the décor's a little too tacky for your taste, Jeffrey."
Jeff scans the apartment. Everything in it, including Craig Pelton and Summer, is turning Lisa Frank purple in his eyes.
"Oooohhhh woooooooowwwwww."
Summer's in a daze, too, though they couldn't tell if she's happy about it or just aghast.
They let her stand in awe under a projected light mobile as Jeff pulls Craig Pelton aside.
"My eyes are burning." Jeff closes his eyes.
"I thought it was going to be just the two of us…Summer and I, I mean."
"I can't tell if this is some Pierce-like trance you're trying to get Summer into or a '90s slumber party spilling over the wrong decade. I'm telling you, they're both morally incorrect."
"I'll dial it down."
Craig Pelton turns to leave, but Jeff keeps him where he is.
Craig Pelton recognizes the need to report.
"Well?"
"Story checks out."
Jeff leans in closer.
"Keep it down. She might hear us from where she's standing."
Craig Pelton looks at him in disbelief as he subtly reaches for the can from under Jeff's arm. Jeff swats the hand away.
"Jeffrey. Really?"
"She's insane."
"I thought we were going for that."
"She was badly hurting people...with a service tray."
Craig Pelton grimaced.
"Not worse than she did to her dad, I hope."
"Don't tell me –"
Craig Pelton suddenly turns and walks away.
"Let's return to our candy floss kingdom, shall we? Now's not the time for leather-mahogany bachelor chic."
Jeff pulls him back.
"You mean –"
"I tend to overdo things, I know, but all this purple? It's a nervous accident. I'm scared for my life, Jeffrey. I'm glad she's here, sincerely, but I don't want to be here when she's pissed off, and by 'here' I mean Colorado…or the United States…"
Craig Pelton tries to take the can from Jeff, but Jeff pushes his hand away.
"I Britta'd it, didn't I?"
"If this is Stephen's doing, then you've been backed in a corner ever since the Waites stepped into The Vatican. That's Abed talking, by the way."
"Jesus."
"Abed says that having her here is a good thing. I don't know why, but you trust him, so I trust him."
Craig Pelton raises his hands and attempts to take the can from Jeff one more time.
"STOP TAKING IT FROM ME!"
"YOUR BLOOD SUGAR LEVEL IS HITTING 300! I HAVE SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS FROM FRANKIE TO KEEP YOU OFF THE ICED TEA!"
They fight over the can.
"What's going on?"
They didn't notice her creeping up on them like that.
They both release the can, popping the plastic lid loose and spilling the contents on the floor.
They point at each other.
Summer tilts her head as she looks at the can on the floor.
"That's all yours?"
"It's sugar free."
"Old people, even someone as 'fit' as you, get all sorts of diseases, Pops. Too much of anything is poison."
Craig Pelton's disappointed in Jeff, keeping his disappointed eyes on him as he sweeps up the mess. Still, he mouths 'Pops?' to Jeff. Jeff widens his eyes at him and nudges his head towards Summer.
"I'm right here." Summer says.
"I KNOW!" Craig Pelton fails to mask the fakeness in his chuckling.
"I'm sorry about all that. I'll take it down."
"Is Bob staying here, too?"
Oops.
Jeff scans for people in his head to delegate real estate duty.
Annie's still in Chicago.
Frankie's busy making Summer's elective legit.
Craig Pelton's taking care of Summer.
Abed's digging up more dirt on Summer.
Nope. Not Britta.
He's stuck with it.
He better find them a place to stay fast, or he'll have to bump into Bob and Summer every single day.
He brandishes his cellphone and starts looking.
Summer nods at the awkward silence and then nudges Craig Pelton.
"What's up with you and Spreck?"
Jeff looks up from his cellphone, his thumbs still moving.
Craig Pelton trips a little and nervously brushes a finger behind his ear.
"Excuse me?"
"These things won't be happening if you hadn't pissed him off so bad. Were you two an item?"
Craig Pelton's a little hesitant, but flattered by the sudden interest.
"We're more like Annie and Shirley."
"Oh COME ON!" Jeff groans.
"'Oh come on' your face, Pops. What about that slumber party where no one's invited?"
"What slumber party?" Craig Pelton turns to Jeff.
Summer sneers at Jeff as he keeps silent.
Craig Pelton ushers Summer back to candy floss kingdom and starts taking stuff down. Jeff texts a few feet away from them.
"Stephen and I were friends in Appatomax –"
"By the way, that's an actual school." Jeff calls from his corner.
"I figured that out the first time, Pops."
"A little tip on catchphrases, Summer, they're bound to wear off when used frequently."
"Speaking of catchphrases and pops, we have a student called Magnitude -"
"Except 'Pop, pop!'…that thing never dies."
"You just had to be the one talking, huh?"
"You just had to be the punk who gets fr -"
"CAN YOU JUST PLEASE LET ME TELL THE FREAKIN' STORY, JEFFREY!" Craig Pelton shrieked.
His face is red, sweaty, and bunched in frustration.
Jeff stops texting.
"I get that you're not interested. But Summer is here, and she's the first person who's ever asked me anything about myself in all the years you have known me, and by god I'm taking it even when I know she doesn't care either." He turns to Summer, his hands tightly gripping tinsel.
"I'm gen –"
"Don't act coy. We know what you're up to."
"Geez, is there seriously a road block every five yards to Greendale?"
Craig Pelton walks up to her and looks her in the eye, his face wet with tears and sweat.
"Hands up."
She folds her arms in front of her, but Craig Pelton doesn't let up.
"Hands. Up."
Summer stubbornly casts her eyes elsewhere as she does as she's told. Jeff clears his throat.
"Remember what you said about pissing her off?"
"If she's already pissed off, then she'd have dealt with me in more convenient ways. You don't mind, do you?"
"You think?" Summer raises an eyebrow at him.
"You can't frisk her without reasonable suspicion, Pelton."
"But we do, don't we?"
"You're not a police officer, and this can be grounds for harassment."
Craig Pelton doesn't care. He keeps his eyes on Summer as he frisks her thoroughly.
Jeff watches them from where he is.
He knew six things about Craig Pelton: He likes to dress up, he likes Dalmatians, he likes trains, he's gay, he's a dean…or was, and he's a politician. He always thought the seventh thing he should know about Craig Pelton is that he really, really likes Jeff Winger…now he's not so sure.
It's unsettling how Craig Pelton goes about the activity. It's even more unsettling that he's abetting, knowing the consequences should this matter get out.
Craig Pelton steps away from Summer and wipes a tear from his eye.
"Satisfied?" Summer hugs and seats herself, a little shaken.
Craig Pelton snaps his fingers around Summer.
"CHECK, one, TWO, mic TEST."
"I'm not bugged, Craig."
"It's actually better if you are SO HE CAN HEAR THIIIIS."
Craig Pelton talks into Summer's chest. She puts her hand on his face and pushes him away.
Jeff slouches into a fold-up chair a few feet from them.
"Or what if she's got one of those Mission Impossible contact lenses?"
Craig Pelton inspects her eyes…
…then there's a crash.
They barely had time to react, but when Jeff and Craig Pelton blinked, Summer already had a broken lamp trained on Craig Pelton's jugular.
Jeff drops his phone and his jaw, unawares.
"Don't damage the goods, honey." Craig Pelton drawled.
"How long is this going to go on, Pops?"
He's looking at the lamp, the broken bulb pressing onto Craig Pelton's skin.
"This isn't how you earn trust." Craig Pelton says.
"Then, by golly, how?"
She searches their faces for answers. They look like they're searching for answers in her face, too.
She grimaces.
"You want me to tell you that I'm working undercover for Spreck?"
"We already know that."
The next second, Craig Pelton has Summer pinned down on the ground with his left knee, the hand holding the lamp under the other knee.
Jeff jumps out of his seat and has trouble finding a place for his hands. He accidentally steps on his phone and slips.
"JESUS, PELTON!" Jeff has his hands on his head and his heart now.
Summer is genuinely shaken.
"Frankly, dear, I don't care if there's an organ in your body recording and feeding what's happening right now to whatever machine they have at City College, I just want to make sure this gets to Spreck."
Craig Pelton is insane.
"I have to ping to him some time through my cellphone, let him know where I am, and report when I can. It's a little less convenient without the tracker." She struggles getting the words out.
"Ooh. She's suddenly blabby."
He frisks her while he keeps her down.
"Was leaving the tracker part of the plan?"
"No."
"Why leave it?"
"Pops showed up when Barbie was already handing me the contract. It's harder to convince him. I changed tack."
Craig Pelton inspects her cellphone and shortly figures out how to ping to City College.
"And the helmet heads?"
"Can you let me up? I'm having a hard time breathing."
Craig Pelton takes the lamp from her hand and throws it beyond reach.
Summer immediately crawls away from Craig Pelton and peers at both of them from behind her hugged knees.
"I didn't leave one college to be held hostage in another. What are you people?"
"This isn't as bad as it seems." Jeff buffs the edge off his voice and tries to smile.
"This isn't bad? Craig Pelton pinned me down. Rinky-dink Craig Pelton...of all people…pinned me down."
"You held a broken light bulb to his throat."
"You were harassing me."
"You knew we had a reason to."
"What?!"
Jeff checks on Craig Pelton and finds that he has crawled into a corner with sparse pillows and settles down.
"Whose side are you on, Summer?"
"I just needed to get out of there, and so does Bob. You were our ticket out."
"And the ping?"
"That keeps them at bay. There has to be a semblance of employment; I still need to let them know where I am, and what I'm doing; otherwise they'll come after me with a lawsuit."
"I wonder what happens when every person at City College with the tracker takes it off at the same time."
"Remember when I said the locking device was state-of-the-art? A pin embeds itself on the person when someone tries to take it off. Every tracker is different. Spreck's most trusted have theirs around more vital parts of their bodies. A group of students tried doing it once…they're still roaming City College…like zombies."
"You got away with it."
"They needed a mole at Greendale, remember? Every Spreck operation requires a mole. They disabled the auto-lock function on my bracelet because of the plan."
"And he trusted you?"
"Free or not, he now knows how you became dean. He knows you're quasi-militarized, and he knows you did that for personal gains. Barbie was a foolproof plan, and hey, you found out what they're hiding, too, so thanks, Summer."
"Yeah, thanks, but the helmet heads?"
"I kind of paralyzed that kid with your fancy ballpen. They didn't expect that. All I have to do now is give them something to chew on, and they'll believe it's all part of the plan because, let's face it, you guys are just killing it with the paranoia."
A light goes off and the gloom in Craig Pelton's apartment sets in.
He's turned off the light mobile.
They can barely make his figure fluffing up the pillows in the dark.
"I wasn't always this person…" They hear Craig Pelton mutter.
Jeff picks up his phone and slouches into a fold-up chair a few feet away from him.
"My dad had very high expectations. I always did well in school, you know? But that degree was the closest thing that ever met them."
His mind wanders. They wait for him to follow through, but he's already lost in the story in his head.
"Pelton." Jeff calls from his seat.
Craig Pelton blinks and pulls at the crumpled tinsel in his hands.
"Stephen and I were vying for everything, and back then, it wasn't hard for me to be the A student. I mean, how hard can it be, right? There's only this list you need to check out to be good at something, so I followed it. But then it got serious when I was gaining favor from the professors."
"Hm. What could you have possibly done?" Jeff quips from his stupor.
"Well I surely didn't monologue and piggyback my way through college like you, Jeffrey."
"It definitely sounds better than hanky panky with professors."
Summer bites her fist to stifle a giggle.
"IT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE THINKING!"
"Then what is it?"
"Stephen found out I cheated, okay? I'm a politician. I was popular. People trusted me, and I had access to everything. It was THAT easy."
"Oh really?"
"When I was good, I was killing it, Jeffrey. Better than you ever could. You didn't find me at my prime. You people came when I was coast-and-go-bust. Greendale was due for closure. Luis Guzman statue? Please. But when you people came, I started caring. There were suddenly people I cared about."
"I thought Spreck was kidding about that statue." Summer cut in.
"It's bronze plated."
Craig Pelton seems calmer.
"You guys are crazy."
"Pot kettle black, honey."
"So Spreck ratted on you and you still graduated?"
"My dad talked them into letting me take another year. By then, the trust was gone, and so was my interest in earning it. I barely passed the next time. As for Stephen, what really got to him was that they didn't let him take over as valedictorian because even if he told them the truth, it was apparent to the discipline committee that his reason for ratting me out was he's next in line, so that backfired. His batch only had a salutatorian. Still him, speech and all, but it's not enough, knowing he could have been valedictorian."
"Ouch." Jeff cringes.
"I never fought back until recently because, I thought, eventually he'll get over it…or forgive me…City College's top notch under his tutelage. I'm a bumbling dean with nary a notch on my belt. That's supposed to have been his revenge. What more could he possibly want?"
This is clearly going downhill.
"Didn't you have a dog? Where'd you keep your dog?" Jeff clears his throat and whistles.
"Agatha Christie died of cancer months ago, Jeffrey."
Jeff buries his face in his phone.
"What was she?" Summer asks.
"Saint Bernard. That's why I was so excited that somebody besides Jeffrey's coming over… Are you going to kill me in my sleep? That seems like a good way to go."
Jeff reanimates from his corner and finally does his duty as Craig Pelton's buddy to give him a little shake.
He has never had to do that before, and he never had to feel this way about Craig Pelton often. He's concerned…and sorry.
It never occurred to him that Craig Pelton had to keep himself in check just so he can pull Jeff back in every time he jekylled, until now. He's starting to realize that he hasn't been paying enough attention to him when he should. Craig Pelton could have acted on his triggered depression if the irregularities have not clicked in Jeff's brain in time.
Just when he's feeling years of remorse for being apathetic towards Craig Pelton, he feels a hand on his abdomen.
…Then he remembers why he's always annoyed with him, but instead of pushing him away this time, he gives Craig Pelton a pat on the head and sits him up.
Craig Pelton fixes his spectacles.
They look at each other for some time, a little melodramatic, but Jeff allows himself that for a moment.
Craig Pelton holds a hand up.
"You don't have to say anything, Jeffrey."
Craig Pelton's face brightens and takes his phone from his chest pocket.
"Who wants pizza?"
He jumps up and excuses himself.
"What was that about?" Summer asks.
"Craig Pelton jekylled."
"Huh?"
"Never mind."
She grabs her phone from where Craig Pelton was seated.
Jeff Winger's busy with his phone again. He only lets himself be distracted when Summer plays something back. Craig Pelton did want to record everything.
Her crusty exterior fails to hide that she still is just a kid…
…A kid…she's almost as old as Annie, but unlike her, this kid's really lost.
She has crummy parents, and whatever Bob's deal is, it's not good enough to take care of this girl.
With the decision to let Bob go, the Nipple Dip -
Craig Pelton chokes as he sees Jeff's annoyed face.
"Pizza's coming in thirty minutes."
Craig Pelton wasn't far from the mark, though. He chose to help this kid…Abed made him choose to help this kid.
There's something going on in that head of his, Abed. He came home seemingly still off-beat, but there's a cloud of worry in his eyes that Jeff knows wasn't there before. What the hell was he thinking when he called her name that night?
He mindlessly reaches out to Summer and gives her a pat on the head.
"You're going to be alright." He tells her.
She nods without looking up at him, but he didn't see her wipe her face with her sleeve.
She stares at her cellphone for some time.
It's tinny, and it's choppy, but he could hear that Craig Pelton had turned on the audio recorder when she and Jeff were having their heated conversation.
"D'you think I should send this?"
"Hm?" Jeff craned his neck after being distracted from his thoughts.
"There's probably nothing Spreck would hate more than a big fuck you from their token scholar." He says after the question had sunk in.
"Is this over? Am I in?"
"The moment you signed the papers, you're already accepted." Craig Pelton chirped in.
"Like I said, we give you the tour with Abed and Annie on Monday."
Craig Pelton takes out a black Tippmann TPX from under the shag rug and ceremoniously hands it over to her.
She doesn't react until it sinks in.
"Shiny."
Summer caresses it, her eyes wide, a smile creeping up her face.
"And this is considered a school supply." She breathes.
"You have funds for this?!" Now it's her turn to ask.
"I'm Jeff Winger."
As if that was enough to explain anything.
But he IS Jeff Winger. He just got her out of City College.
"Since you're—as far as Greendale technicality goes—a noob, the only magazine loaded there is the only one you're ever going to get from us. Everybody starts that way." Jeff tells her.
"Bob said you have more ammo."
"What's the point if you can't get creative?"
There's a knock on the door and Craig Pelton hurries to open it.
Jeff returns to his phone, still busy looking for cheap living spaces near the campus.
"Smile." Jeff holds up his phone and takes her picture while she's unprepared. She's holding the gun to herself like her life depended on it.
Jeff smirks and sends the picture to the rest of the Nipple Dippers.
She walks to the dark side of Craig Pelton's apartment, cradling her new toy.
Craig Pelton walks in with five boxes of pizza and smiles at the sight.
"How'd you like me now, Summer Waite?"
Jeff takes a box of pizza and partakes of the whole pie, one big bite at a time.