A\N: Hey everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read, review, fav, and watch this story. I really, really appreciate it! And I hope you enjoy! :)
"William, stop listening to him!" Yumi's voice interrupted William's own thoughts as he listened to the duplicate version of himself. He cast a sideways glance at her as she continued to speak. "He's trying to trick you. You need to resist. You're stronger than him."
Stronger? He wasn't stronger. There was nothing about him that was strong. He was weak and unwanted. And now she was trying to tell him what to do, how to think, what to feel. Well she had no idea what it was like to be shunned by the people he thought and considered to be friends. She couldn't understand…but he could. His eyes moved from Yumi to the clone.
"Here you're a king. Nothing can hurt you…especially not a girl like her."
King? Ruler? This place could be his. He could get respect and Lyoko's virtual landscape didn't allow for pain. He could be free of that too. The offer was so tempting…
Stop it William. It's that voice again!
The thought fluttered into his mind and halted the thought process. No. It was his thoughts and no one else's. It couldn't be XANA – the A.I. would have no idea of what he was thinking and knew even less about feelings. William closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. He was going insane, that had to be it. Too many thoughts flowed through his mind and he wasn't sure what was real and what was fake any longer. But if he could lose that pain from that unrequited love…if Yumi would no longer be the cause of the pain, wasn't it worth it? Wasn't it?
A pressure on his shoulder caused him to open his eyes; he felt a hand there. Immediately he knew just who that hand belong to. Anger flashed through him as he grabbed Yumi's hand and threw it off of his shoulder. He didn't want to be touched by anyone – especially not her. He glanced backward at her to see her shocked expression and her fumble for footing after she stumbled backward. Why couldn't she leave him alone and stop sending him all of these mixed messages? Wasn't that the cause of all of this pain? Her head fell and her eyes closed. She must have realized it. He didn't want her either.
Feeling little remorse, William turned away from her and toward his clone. A smirk was on his face and a flash of unease ran through William's mind. This wasn't right. But then again, didn't it make sense? They never cared for him. They never wanted him around and only agreed to let him come to Lyoko because they no longer could fight alone. They wanted his combat skills and nothing else. How often did he hang out with any of them one-on-one? Yumi often for homework but then wouldn't she often just walk off and leave him after they were done? Of course, there was Aelita. She seemed to be the only one who cared about him the slightest bit. Then again, she never stood up for him amidst her friends when they were excluding him, and treating him as though he had chosen to side with XANA on his own free will. She could not have thought too highly of him then.
He and the clone walked away toward the tower. William wasn't sure why but he followed his clone regardless. It seemed that his other half would be the only one to ever understand him and his situation. He heard footsteps behind him and not long after he heard Yumi begin to speak.
"William, I beg you, I've got to deactivate the tower. Aelita and Ulrich need us."
Us? No, they don't need us. Just you. You're the only one that's important to them. I'm just the hired help. The thoughts were bitter in his head and could feel the anger begin to bubble up inside him. No, not one of them "needed" him. They only used him.
"Keep quiet." William said as he stopped and turned toward Yumi. He didn't want to hear her lies. Before he realized it, his sword appeared in his hand and he leveled the weapon at Yumi's throat. Panic flashed in her eyes but, to her credit, she didn't back down. Even after William jabbed the sword at her she didn't move.
"William, don't do that."
He shouldn't. He didn't want to. All he wanted was for her to leave him alone. Was that so hard to ask?
"Its fine William," came the clone's voice, quietly. "Go ahead. She won't be able to hurt you anymore when she's far away."
That offer was so tempting. He was sick of being hurt; not just by her but by everyone. By Odd, Jeremie, Aelita, and Ulrich and, more importantly, by himself. His thoughts were mostly dark and he couldn't escape them. And they didn't help that in the least.
His sword shifted and he glanced toward Yumi to see that while he was thinking, she had pushed it away from her throat. "Don't listen to him. He's only interested in our codes. He doesn't care about you!"
He doesn't care?! What about you? All you care about are those damn codes and nothing else. You care about you and your friends, not me. You're only saying those things to manipulate me into helping you. You don't care about me. You never have and you never will.
Why those thoughts weren't transferred into spoken word, he wasn't sure. All he knew was with that statement, his anger had reached a boiling point. She had no idea what he was struggling with. At least his clone knew; he understood and he cared. Yumi never once asked him how he fared after being under XANA's control for so long. She didn't care. None of them did and they never would.
William said nothing, merely watched as Yumi took a step back. She was getting ready to leave him, he could see it. He took a step toward her and it was confirmed. He watched as she turned and ran for a rock formation ahead of them. William continued to walk forward and could hear his clone behind him do the same.
"See? She's abandoning you once again."
It was true. She was leaving him with XANA again. It was just like it was back when he was possessed. They left always left him in a weakened state to fight against XANA alone. Why would this be any different? They didn't care…they never cared…
Yumi's form disappeared into the rocks but William knew they'd find her. Two against one and William had already proven that supersmoke was far faster than she was. It wouldn't be all that hard. What they were going to do with her once they had her, William wasn't sure but he had a good idea. Devirtualizing her, getting her away from him. It would be alright. If he couldn't see or hear her he wouldn't have to think about her and in the virtual world, he wouldn't feel the pain that he had been living with for months.
From above, William could hear Jeremie again and it sounded as though he was once again on the phone with Odd. Sure, everyone came to his beckoning call when he was sad, but not one of them cared when William was fighting off his own demons. That seemed fair right? William didn't even bother to listen and instead he and his clone began to run into the rock formation. She was in there somewhere.
"Yumi, do you hear me? Yumi!"
She was trying to sneak around. Well with Jeremie's bellowing it wouldn't help her much. He listened for her answer; she would answer. It didn't take long either.
"Yes I can year you. But William – the real one I mean – is after me."
He pinpointed her location. It wasn't that hard; she didn't even try to lower her voice. Sloppy Miss Ishiyama. Very sloppy indeed. William saw the clearing on the other side of the large bolder he was behind and walked around it. He saw her look around it and immediately tried to back away from him.
"No William!"
He wasn't listening as he walked toward her. He felt the weight of his sword in his hand and watched as she continued to back away from him. Just like she used to when he was under XANA's control. She never saw a difference between them. In her mind – just like everyone else's – he and XANA were one person. They never saw differently.
"William listen to me. If you do that XANA wins and we lose everything."
Jeremie's disembodied voice echoed across the sky but he tried not to listen. He wasn't trying to help XANA – he just wanted the pain to stop. But of course they didn't understand that. In their eyes he was still their enemy and nothing would ever change that.
Yumi hit the rock and glanced around. William could see the panic in her eyes. She was afraid of him? But he didn't want her to be afraid of him. He just wanted her to understand what he was feeling and thinking. He just wanted her to realize what he was going through still. William heard the supersmoke behind him and his clone come up out of it, but did not turn toward him.
"Do you hear me?"
Instead of answering Jeremie, William cast a glance to the clone behind him. He just wanted to be understood and the only one who seemed capable of that was himself. No one else.
"It's time to finish this, my friend."
It was time to finish it. This was getting old quickly. William looked back at Yumi just in time to see her run away from the two of them. It only took a glance for William to know what to do. He chased after her, following her in the direction she ran off while his clone went in the opposite. She wouldn't be able to stay away from the two of them for too long.
William watched as she ran into a patch of tall, thin rocks. There was nothing much to hide behind in there. He would have a relatively easy time finding her. He watched as she ran past a large bolder and stopped when he himself got into the same spot. He could end this quicker if he needed to by cutting her off. Instead of following behind her, this time he veered off to his left in an attempt to cut her off. Jeremie continued to speak.
"You're part of the team, William."
Team? What team? They didn't care. They only wanted him around when they needed him. William continued to run around, glancing in between rocks, looking for her.
"Whether you want it or not, we're one."
He caught a glimpse of her. The chase was beginning to wear her out.
"Even if it is difficult sometimes, you have never let us down."
She would be easy to catch.
"Please think about this."
I am, he thought. Trust me, I am.
"You're our friend."
Friend?
"My friend."
Jeremie never called him a friend before. Did he mean it or was he just saying it? Was he just trying to manipulate William into doing what he wanted him to do, or was he being sincere? William saw his clone appear in front of Yumi.
Friend?
Their friend?
Yumi turned to run away from his clone, but William saw and blocked her exit. He walked toward her and she was trapped between them.
Trapped? Yumi?
What the hell am I doing?! Trapping her? His teammate? His…friend? What was the matter with him? William cast a quick glance at his counterpart and saw once more the huge XANA symbol on his forehead. XANA. Of course. The voice. It was in his head still, mocking him, making him think it was his voice. But it wasn't. It was XANA's. It had always been XANA's.
Yumi continued to back away from William and gasped. The panic and fear was very evident on her face. She was afraid of him. That's not what he wanted; he never wanted that. He loved her, why on earth would he want her to fear him?
"It's time to choose your side. Set the real William free."
The XANA-William was right. It was time to choose a side. And it was time to be free – free of the voice that told him he was no good; that he was worthless and that no one wanted him. It was time to free himself of the voice that tried to turn him against his friends. It was time!
"You're right," William said, holding up his sword. His eyes stayed on Yumi but they weren't meant for her. She didn't know that…yet. But soon she would. "I have to make a choice. It's time to take care of you!"