Book IV

Telemachus made the journey from King Nestor's palace to Cairo, where he met Menelaus. Menelaus, Nestor told him, had been blown off course to Egypt after the Trojan War.

"Finally were here! I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" exclaimed Telemachus. His horse made a snorting sound in disgust. "Oh no not you Scottie!" Telemachus tried to smooth things over unsuccessfully. Scottie bucked Telemachus off his back, laughed, and walked away.

"Did you just get punked by a horse?" asked Telemachus's assistant.

"Watch it or else I'll leave you here and ride back to Greece!"

"Sorry to spoil your theory, oh tamer-of-the-beasts, but what exactly are you going to ride away from me on. Scottie doesn't listen to you, and look at him. He's all the way into the city now."

"Whatever, lets just go get Scottie." With that the pair left the chariot (which some hobos grabbed as soon as the duo was out of sight) and headed off after Scottie.

Telemachus found the home of Menelaus and rang the doorbell. Menelaus's assistant ans-

"Hold on one second. Narrator, you said I rang the doorbell, but I don't even know what a doorbell is."

Well it's a device created in the future that makes a chime-type noise that indicate that someone has arrived at your door.

"I still don't get it"

Oh forget it, why did I write your character to be so stupid? Plus your ruining the story, narrators aren't supposed to talk with the characters in a third person story!

"Whatever!" Telemachus stuck his tongue out.

Don't make me come down there. How about I rewrite the story and put you dangling off the edge of a cliff!

"No! No! That's fine, I'll behave."

"Are you two babies finished crying?" asked the maid.

"Babies! Watch it or I'll-"

He started it.

"Well, what brings you here?"

"I am Telemachus, son of Odysseus. I seek information about my father. I think Menelaus can help me."

"Right this way."

The maid led the crying little baby to the study of Mr. Menelaus, when they-

"I still hear you!" Telemachus was agitated now.

Oh shut up and stop ruining the story. You want this story to be great right?

"Well actually I'm just trying to find my dad, but I guess it would be cool to star in a best-seller."

See that's what I'm talking about. You need to work on your manners if were going to have any shot at getting rich.

"What do manners have to do with sales?"

Well you don't see Harry Potter yelling at J.K. Rowling do you? And that lady sold millions of copies. She's so rich she could do absolutely nothing except sit on the couch and eat Hostess products the rest of her life.

"Now that's a great retirement."

Exactly, we can have all of that and more if you just cooperate with me.

"Ok, I'll go with you on this one."

Alright, as I was saying, they knocked on Menelaus's door, maid answered, blah blah blah, more stuff, some more blah and now they're at Menelaus's study.

"Good day sir!" Telemachus greeted Menelaus and shook his hand.

"How may I help you?"

"I am looking for my father and was wondering if you could supply me with any leads."

"Well I know that he was left back in Troy, but after that all I know is that he was tricked by Athena. She said that if him and his crew dressed up in seal skins, and held down the Old man of the Sea while he shifted shapes, that she would sent them on their way and give them information about the other soldiers from the Trojan War. Athena didn't send him home however; she caused a storm that forced Odysseus to dock at the Island of Calypso.

"Thanks for the help" Telemachus got up from his seat and headed out the door. Once outside he found his horse, saddled him up, and rode away leaving his assistant behind. Did you think he was kidding?

End of Book IV