The Closet Theory
My friend and I came up with a theory about Ron and Hermione getting together. We called it the Closet Theory because in the scenario we came up with, Harry walks in on Ron and Hermione kissing in a closet. This poem explains the reasons that this theory is obviously correct.
I've never seen two people
Who should be together more
Than Ron Weasley and Hermione
Behind a closet door
All evidence points toward them
It's our very strongest theory
Whether they should be together
Is certainly no query
Let us first examine
Who Hermione should not be with
Out of all the boys at Hogwarts
Two relationships are a myth
Although she's dating Krum
I see no evidence that
She likes him more than a friend
Or even more than her cat
The subject of Hermione and Harry
Has come up much before
But they are just platonic friends
And surely nothing more
Now let us turn to Ron
The youngest Weasley boy
Without Hermione in his life
He would have no joy
Although they argue often
There can be no doubt
That these two are very close
This theory is well thought out
Ron idolized Krum
Until the Yule Ball came
Then we obviously saw
His feelings were not the same
The enemy he called Krum
And though his words fell short
He must have wished he's asked her first
And not as a last resort
When Harry saw them fighting
Late that night they were quite mad
He saw Hermione had gotten the point
Much better than Ron had
And whenever Krum was mentioned
Ron would get choleric
He'd even dent school property
And act rather barbaric
But Ron is not the only one
Who harbors secret feelings
Hermione could get quite upset
With Ron's romantic dealings
When Fleur kissed Ron upon the cheek
Hermione fiercely scowled
Just think how angry she would be
If Ron sent Fleur an owl
And then as they all said goodbye
And Fleur gave Ron a smile
Hermione again began to scowl
And did so for a while
When they all got off the train
Hermione gave Harry a kiss
But this was for the ordeal he'd faced
Purely platonic was this
Now I am certain
In the sixth book they will be
Together as a couple
Just you wait and see
If they by chance break up
It surely will not last
Just look how they always make up
From their arguments in the past
Now I must reiterate
This next stanza verbatim
But it is so important
There's no other ultimatum
I've never seen two people
Who should be together more
Than Ron Weasley and Hermione
Behind a closet door