Chapter four

1 year later

"ISABELLA! You better get your skinny butt downstairs and make us breakfast before you leave to go to that stupid school of yours" I heard James yell at me.

I jumped out of bed, hurriedly got dressed and then ran downstairs, tripping on the last one and falling splat on the floor. My hip screamed in pain. Well shit! Today was not going to be a good day. I hobbled over to the kitchen and made them eggs and bacon. I was thankful that it was done when they decided to come and sit at the table.

I placed the plates in front of them before saying goodbye, getting my bag and cane and walking my half an hour walk to school. It hurt, a lot, but I had no way else to get there.

Now, this past year... it hasn't been so good. James and Victoria, they were worse than Mrs. Tailor. She had other children to pick on, but James and Victoria, they just have me. Which makes it four times worse.

I rubbed my arm absent mindedly, flinching as I pressed on my bruised skin. I made a mental note to not to wear the gym uniform today, not wanting them to get suspicious.

Once at school, I used my motto, head down walk straight ahead. Don't talk to anyone.

Everyone hated me. And I didn't mind, because if they left me alone, then it means more time to myself.

I sat in my last class's seat, at the front, I had my head on my arm as I listened to Mrs Morrow talk about 'How to kill a mockingbird'. I almost dozed off, but managed to listen to most of it.

Once that was done, I began to walk back to the house. I refused to call it home. Home is somewhere I am safe, and right now, that's no where.

I mentally applauded God when I saw Jane's car was gone. I went inside and immediately went to the phone and dialled the number I now knew by heart. But it was always the same "I'm sorry, the number you have dialled is incorrect of disconnected. Please try again" Said the robotic voice.

I checked the number to the creased little piece of paper that I had in my hand and tried again, and got the same result.
A tear fell, just like every other day, when I realised my attempts to reach Alice were futile.
I ate leftovers from the fridge, knowing I would have to pay for it later, but also knowing that my 5 day fast is going to hurt me drastically if I didn't eat something. I savoured every mouthful,thinking this would be my last meal for the week.
It was 7pm when I had dinner at the table, the moment James and Victoria got home. They came into the kitchen, ignored me, started eating and then left to go upstairs.

I did a happy, dance, thankful I didn't get a beating. I washed the dishes, cleaned the house and did a load of washing before going into my room, finishing my homework and then collapsing onto the bed, fully clothed and exhausted.

I woke up in the middle of the dark. It was pitch black and cold. I heard a creak. I shot up in my bed. Oh please no. not tonight.

My prayers were unanswered as my door swung open and James entered the room. I am pushed downwards into my bed, my pants ripped away. James then decides to have his way with me. My silent please gone unnoticed.
This has happened before, unfortunately. And I am constantly sore and sick every day.

I pray for a miracle

Two months later

Two months have passed and I am constantly sick in the mornings, I have also missed my periods. I am scared about the small baby bump growing in my stomach. At first, I thought it was a cold or the flu, but now, I am beginning to get worried. It is after school and I'm standing in the supermarket, staring up at all the little boxes.

I sigh and pick the cheapest one, $4.99. I pay for it, earning a look from the old cashier. I smile "Can you please show me where the bathroom is?" I ask politely.

She frowns again and points me in the direction.
I tell her I don't need a bag. I thank her. I go to the room that will help me determine my future.

Peeing on the stick is easy. It is the 3-4minutes wait that killed me. I sat in the cubical, on the floor, watching it. Waiting for either the little pink cross, or the blue cross to appear. I hum in my head the familiar nursery rhyme, which gets me thinking to Alice. This makes me cry in loss. I miss her so much. And what hurts more, is that she has probably forgotten me.

I glance at the little thing and my stomach turns, I kneel over the bowl just in time to empty my already empty stomach. I hate pink. I also hate little pink crosses which tell me, a 14 year old orphan, that I am pregnant.

"Hi, can I help you?" the lady on the desk asks.

I nod sadly. "I need to speak with the police" I say determinedly.

She smiled "I am a officer, what's wrong honey"
I take a deep breathe "My foster parents abuse me. I'm pregnant" I say straight away. If I had given more detail, I would have either chickened out or thrown up.

The ladies smile falters and she looks appalled. "One second Hun"

Everything happens quickly. I am taken to the hospital. They check me out, confirm I'm pregnant, take pictures of my bruises, tell me everything is going to be okay, I'm told James and Victoria are taken into custody, I am told I can have a abortion.

"What?" I asked.

"Your 14 honey, think about it. Do you really want to go through with having this child?"
I stare at the lady. I think really hard. Do I want to have this baby. Do I want to put it into the system like me? Do I want to ruin its life? Thats easy. No. But do I want to be a murderer? Do I want to make a decision to end this ones life. Well, no.

"No. I can't... I can't have a abortion" I whisper, tears falling.

She nods sadly.

I decide to keep the baby. I decide to give it up for adoption when its born.

I sit in the back of Mr. Shaun's car, my hand resting on my baby bump, thinking of all the horrible things the children at my new school will say. What the horrible things these foster parents will think!.

Mr. Shaun has managed to find me a married couple who wants company over the next year, but didn't want to have me full time. I feel like I'm being rented out. When they found out I was pregnant, they were a little hesitant, but agreed after convincing.
I am on my way to there house now.

They live in a tiny village called Forks. Where it rains... constantly.

"Hi Bella. I'm Charlie and this is Renee." The man said, smiling.

I smiled politely and turned to Renee, who stared at my belly for a moment before looking at my eyes.

Her cheeks flushed pink. "Its so nice to have you here" She said before taking me into a hug. It didn't feel right.

They smiled some more before talking to Mr. Shaun, who said that he would call in a few weeks. Both my new guardians then lead me into the house

"Lets show you your room" Renee said.

I followed them into the house. There was a living room to the left and then a dinning room to the right. Connected to the living room was a kitchen. I thought it made sense to have the kitchen and dinning room connected... but apparently not. The kitchen was small and made very bright by the yellow cabinets. Strange decorations...

I was lead upstairs. There on the right was there room and there en suite. Then the opened the door to the left and it was my room. Nothing fancy, a small double bed, a desk, a wardrobe and then another door.
I opened that door and found my own bathroom. I smiled despite my nervous mood.

"Do you like it?" Charlie asked.

I nodded, smiling still. I did actually, it seemed.... like me.

"We'll let you get settled and then we'll call you for dinner" Renee said. Then she took a deep breathe "Where glad your living with us Bella. Hopefully you'll grow to learn, where not going to hurt you. And then, you'll become comfortable here. Hopefully, you'll grow a healthy baby and when the time comes, you'll find a really good family for it"

My smile left as they left. I was hurting them because of my situation... I always hurt people.

I laid down on my bed after unpacking for what felt like the millionth time. I twirled my cane in my hands. It was a plain brown stick with a black nob at the end, so it didn't slip when I put pressure on it, but it also had a handle, so I could hold onto it. I liked it. Because it was mine. I had decorated it too. Not with stickers, because that would be lame. But with engravings. I had drawn, written and marked memories into this cane. At the top on the handle had the name Alice so I would always be holding onto her. On the stick part it had a tally of numbers, that counted the amount of times I've been hit and abused.

Below that long list of strokes, was the name of the nursery rhyme Hush little baby because it comforted me. It reminded me of my mother and Alice.

Lame I know, but it made me happy. Knowing I could hold onto these memories, because they were mine and no one could take them.

I looked around the room and smiled again. I had no feelings of weirdness and I didn't feel off. Perhaps... hopefully, this was going to be a good place. Maybe my luck was finally coming.