The next day, Cas left before anybody had the chance to notice he was gone. Of course, if he was found out at any point or seen by a family member or, god forbid, Balthazar, he had his quick, generic excuses waiting: "I wanted to watch the water," or "I was looking for the ship's library."

But what he was really doing, was looking for Dean. He couldn't get the memory of his eyes staring down into his own out of his mind, and he had been thinking in nothing but that shade of green since last night. He would go mad if he didn't find him to simply say thank you.

And that's all we was going to do... thank him.

He held his bowler hat on his head, protecting it from the wind's intent to blow it off to sea. He peered around corners of the deck, trying not to look to conspicuously curious about anything.

"Castiel?"

At first, he thought it was a crewman. "I-I'm just looking for the library," he muttered as he turned, and suddenly, he was face to face with exactly who he was looking for.

"The library?" Dean repeated, smirking, "Well, I'm no expert, but I don't think it's on the outdoor deck."

Cas blushed, and looked down. "Um... my intentions may not be honest ones. I actually came looking for you-" "That so?" Dean grinned, and Cas felt his ears heat up. "Y-yes. I wanted to thank you myself for saving my life."

Dean nodded, and it was as if a small star was twinkling in his eye. "Like I said... I'm obligated." Cas smiled, then he bit his lip. "Can we... I mean... would you... like to take a walk?"

Dean was surprised to say the least, as he thought the only other time he would ever get to see Castiel again is at the dinner he had been invited to that night, but he was happy to accept, obviously. "Yeah."

So they started walking, and Cas asked a few questions. Dean ended up talking about how him and Sam grew up in Kansas, then after his parents had died, he and Sam had hopped town, first road tripping around America and living off what little money his parents had left as well as cash he could scrape up from poker, then as time went on and they had enough saved up, they spent their savings on tickets to Europe, leaving behind everything they had known.

"But hey," Dean was shrugging, "If you don't take risks, you just don't live life properly, I say." Cas watched him intently, taking this in mind. His life was the complete opposite of everything Dean had just described... but he was sure Dean knew that already.

"I'm sure you're wondering about last night," Cas said quietly, squinting out at the ocean, "You're probably thinking, poor little rich boy, he's got life so hard..." Dean licked over his lips, stopping the walk. "Nah... I was thinkin' more along the lines of, what the hell could've happened to make you want to do something like that?"

Cas exhaled, and clenched his jaw. "It's just that..." he let out a huff of frustration, "My whole life is one big... trap, I just can't get out of it! I'm supposed to marry this man-" "Balthazar," Dean filled in, remembering the name of the blonde man who was so possessive of Cas last night. Cas looked at him. "Yes, Balthazar. He proposed, and I obviously said yes, because if I hadn't, it would have been a damn catastrophe, and there's going to be hundreds of people at our wedding, all society people, most of whom I don't even know or remotely care about, and... and I..."

He stopped short as he realized he had been rambling, but when he looked back at Dean, he saw the other man listening, looking genuinely interested. He sighed, shaking his head. "I can't get out of the trap. I just... wanted a way out." He straightened his suit, remembering his composure. "But, I came to my senses after you so bravely saved me, so I am forever in your debt-"

"Do you love him?"

Cas paused. What? "Pardon me?"

"Do you love him?"

Castiel was taken aback. He had never really thought about it, in fact, the single thought had never even entered his mind. But for Dean to be asking that... he realized he had been sharing too much with someone he hardly even knew.

"I should think that's none of your business at all," Cas frowned. Dean raised an eyebrow. "It's a simple question- do ya?" "Wha- I won't answer that! And I certainly won't to you! Gracious, you're presumptuous... and uncouth... and... and..." Dean smirked as he watched how determined Cas was to find an insult, "And rude!"

Dean crossed his arms, smiling. This only enraged Cas more. "What kind of silly question is that? Do I love him..." Dean looked at him. "Well, you just told me all that about feeling trapped, I thought you needed some advice or something."

Cas frowned again. "To think that I would need advice from someone like you is overstepping your boundaries." "Oh, so there're boundaries now?" "Yes, and you've crossed them." "Mm-hmm." Dean held his amused smile.

Cas stuttered, avoiding eye-contact. "Look, I just wanted to thank you. That's it. Now that I have done that, I'm going to leave." He turned before Dean could say anything else, and started walking away. Until he turned back.

"Wait... hold on! This upper deck section is technically my part of the ship, so it should be you who leaves." "Me?" "Yes." Dean continued to wear his usual smirk. "Now you're being rude." Cas let out an endearing growl, and suddenly grabbed the large book Dean was holding. "What is this thing? You've been carrying it around the whole time, and it has peaked my curiosity."

He sat down on a nearby bench, and opened it. "Oh... uh... these are..." He cleared his throat. They were really good...

"Dean... I didn't know you were an artist... or such a good artist, at that!" he said, shedding all of his previous upset quickly. Dean sat beside him, leaning over. "Well, saying I'm an artist is a bit of a stretch," he laughed, his eyes crinkling, "I just like to sketch, that's all. Never pays, though."

Cas traced his fingertips along the pages, staring in admiration down at them. Now the led staining he had noticed on Dean's palms made sense.

Then Cas flipped to a new page, and his eyes widened. "Who's that?" he asked, pointing to a woman that Dean had drawn naked. Dean smiled a little. "Her name's Carmelita. She's Spanish, a prostitute I met down in Paris. Crazy, huh?"

Cas looked down again, flipping the page. "You must like her a lot... you have lots of drawings of her." "Yeah, but it was only really her hair I liked to draw." Cas was silent for a second, and then he asked, "Did you sleep with her?"

Dean stared at Cas. "Now who's the one asking rude questions?" Cas stumbled over his words, suddenly realizing what he had asked and that he had done it out loud. "I'm so sorry... god, that was inexcusable of me, I don't know why I asked that. I'm-" Dean laughed. "Cas, Cas, relax. I'm messing with you, I'm not one of your society friends. Besides, I don't even know you, remember? So you can ask stuff like that."

Castiel was dumbfounded at how easily the shortened version of his name had just flowed from Dean's mouth as if he had been using it for years. He shivered.

Dean looked down to his book. "No, we didn't. She was just easy to talk to, you know? Had a good sense of humour and a friendly face. Sometimes that's all somebody needs." Cas watched Dean, and Dean looked over at him, meeting his eyes. "You would be perfect for drawing, you know."

Cas smiled a little, looking out again at the open sea beyond. "I would?" "Yeah." "But I'm not very interesting... I don't have a particularly notable sense of humour... why would you want to?" "Because I like you," Dean answered, and Cas' heart stopped for a second. He looked at Dean. "You...?" "I think you're stunning," Dean said, not averting his eyes or even blinking.

Castiel's smile disappeared.

In the tea room, Captain Shurley was talking to the first mate, who happened to be Merv.

"So," Merv was saying, "I see you haven't been utilizing the full speed of the ship." Gabriel looked up from his chocolate sundae. "Well, Titanic's making excellent time. I really don't see the need to push it any faster, you know?"

Merv shrugged, looking down to the paper he was studying. It was a look that was meant to keep his feelings to himself that all the while radiated his own opinion.

"Well... this is your first voyage, Captain. Just think of how impressive it would be to make it a day early into New York." Gabriel looked up. "I just..." he sighed, "I don't want to push her past her limits." "Limits?!" Merv chuckled, "This ship? Limits? Come on now. They would see you as a legend, Gabe."

Gabriel swirled his sweet dessert around, thinking about it.

The sun was setting as Cas and Dean continued to talk on deck, now standing by the side railings. "I wish I could live like you," Cas mumbled, "Just do whatever I want... whenever I want... Dean?" he turned to face him, a slight smile quirking at his lips, "Tell me we'll go to the beach one day. You and me. Just for the fun of it, I want to pretend it's real."

Dean studied Cas curiously, then grinned. "We'll do it. We'll just sit out, drink whiskey like real men, and maybe, we'll even ride the roller coaster they have on the pier until we throw up."

Cas laughed for the first time, and the dirty-blond sucked his breath in, loving the sound of his laugh and the way Cas' face scrunched up pleasantly when he looked this happy.

Cas spoke up again. "I want you to teach me how to be a real man. I want to know how to ride a horse like a man. I want to drink whiskey like a man. I want to... I want to learn how to smoke like a man!"

Dean raised his eyebrows. "I thought it was a filthy habit," he reminded playfully, and Cas laughed again, feeling stupidly reckless. "I don't care... I just want to know what it's like. I want to try."

Dean gave a lopsided grin, and reached into his back pocket for something. "Alright," he said, pulling out a thin white cylinder and a box of matches, "Here's how you do it." He struck the match on his boot, and brought it to the end of the cigarette, inhaling. Then he passed it to Cas, who took it, doing as Dean had done.

He inhaled, then halfway through a breath, he began to cough hysterically. Dean nearly bust a gut laughing, and Cas glared at him. "I can get this!" "Ha! I'm sure you can." "Watch me," Cas said, and tried another inhale, this time able to keep it in fairly well. His face contorted, and he exhaled, this time giving a few short sputters.

Dean couldn't hold back his smile. "Eh... better. Needs work." "This tastes disgusting!" "You get used to it." "I could never get used to this..." "I told you you couldn't do it." Cas opened his mouth, then closed it indignantly. Then he took another drag, and gave Dean a smug look as he held his breath.

Dean nodded. "Not bad, not bad."

Just then, they heard a voice behind them. "Castiel?"

Cas whipped around to find his mother, then he turned back sea-ward, quickly choking out the smoke he had filled his lungs with, hoping the wind would carry it before Colette would have a chance to see what he had been doing. From behind his back, Dean swiftly and stealthily stole the cigarette back, allowing Cas to step forward.

"Mother... hello," he replied in a scratchy voice, "May I introduce you to Dean Winchester?" "Charmed," she replied slowly, gazing over at Dean, who nodded at her cordially. She narrowed her eyes at him, then looked back to Castiel. "Dinner will be soon, I suppose." Cas nodded, and coughed twice into his hand. "Sounds lovely."

She kept her eyes narrowed, then turned around again, walking away to the other side of the deck.

Cas breathed out, and Dean slapped his shoulder. "That was priceless!" "Do you think she could smell it?" "What does it matter, you're a grown man!" "She doesn't like smoke." "What, is she gonna disown you?" "Well, I presume not-" "Then you've got nothing to worry about, do you?"

Cas met Dean's eyes again, and they looked at each other.

"I don't want you seeing that boy anymore, Castiel," Colette said in a low, barely tolerant voice as she fixed his bow tie for dinner attire. Cas frowned. "Excuse me?" "You heard what I said. This Dean Winchester- he's nothing but scum. May as well be dirt scraped off the bottom of this ship to people like us, Castiel!"

Cas' mouth hung open in incredulity. "Dean is a brave, smart man!" "Smart?" Colette scoffed, doing up his buttons, "Did he go to school? Hm? Where you did, to the best institution in the country? I'm sure he's very smart." Cas sighed. "He's smart in different ways... he... understands people... I can't put it to words."

Colette went back to his collar, where she was being unnecessarily aggressive with his folding. "The way you talk about him is inappropriate. Listen to yourself, it's disgraceful. Balthazar has offered us a wealthy life-" "Us! Exactly, us. This is more about you then it is me, you know that, Mother?! It's always been! I can do as I damn well please, and if you don't like it, th-"

His sentence was cut off by Colette sitting him down sharply in the chair by the mirror. "You listen to me," she bit, staring him dead in the eyes, "You are engaged. Do you want to see me become a poor, destitute maid? Would it delight you to see your father in a workhouse?!" Cas stayed quiet, avoiding eye contact.

"I thought not," Colette said, folding her arms, "So behave yourself. Remember your place... and remember his."

Cas stayed silent, feeling tears of anger prick at his eyes. Everything about this was far from fair. But something deep inside himself told him he wouldn't heed what his mother had told him... or at least, part of him hoped he wouldn't.