Summary: Daleks vaporized his arm. Cybermen gave him a new one. Somehow, Ianto Jones survives.
As a note, this is now a series, and also, I wrote a short side story that's in this 'verse from the episode 'Random Shoes', and it's called Cyborg…
I was informed I would be mean if I posted it in this story before this chapter, so…
Enjoy!
Chapter 4—Suzie
Ianto wakes up to the sound of pounding.
He doesn't know if he should be relieved that it's just the sound of his heart, rather than the sound of Jack pounding on his door.
It doesn't make his heart slow down any.
He debates not going into work, but figures if Tosh hasn't told Jack (highly improbably, but Ianto had found that being optimistic was the safer bet, these days, rather than letting pessimistic thoughts bring him into question), then he'd be making himself look suspicious not going in to work.
So he gets ready.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
He isn't accosted when he comes into work, and he doesn't end up in any of the cells at all that morning…
He forces himself to look quizzically at Jack when, instead of a flirtatious grin and a leer, he's greeted with a speculative glance.
When Tosh gets in, followed by Owen, she looks at him wide eyed for one moment before busying herself at her computers.
This… this makes him pause.
He ignored Tosh hiding something once, and look where it got him.
He frowns, and heads to the kitchen to make up a batch of coffee… he should have gotten it ready for everyone before, and it was likely that Gwen would be in sooner than later, so—
"Oh, Ianto, don't bother with that today."
He pauses on the stairs, and turns.
"Sir?"
There's no flirtatious grin on his face, no sign of a joke, no hint that he was kidding, when Jack looks back ta him.
"No coffee today, Ianto."
He blinks.
He has the uncomfortable feeling that he might be gaping at Jack.
"No coffee?" he can't wrap his mind around the thought.
"What?!"
Owen storms up from the Autopsy bay, face red an alarmed.
"I repeat; What? No coffee?"
Jack nods.
"No coffee today."
"Why?" He'd be embarrassed at his voice breaking halfway through the word, except he's still stuck on 'no coffee' and is he still dreaming? Is this a nightmare? It must be—Ianto did not want to consider Torchwood without caffeine.
He felt a headache coming on.
This had the possibility of being worse than having his arm found out…
(He knew he was being overdramatic, but—but— no coffee? Really?)
"Let's say we're trying a health kick."
"And why wasn't I consulted on this?" Owen demanded.
"Because I'm the boss and you would've said no."
"Damn right I would have said no. Because this is ridiculous—and what the fuck else is Tea-Boy going to do then, huh?"
Ianto didn't have the brainpower right then to flinch over that.
He didn't think he would have, if he did, because he did actually do more than clean up and make coffee, though that was what they saw him to the most of…
But he didn't react right then because he was thinking the exact same thing.
Later, when he looks back on this, he thinks that maybe spending the whole night worrying over being locked up in the morning, only to have this be the tragedy beginning the day…
Well, it did something weird to his head.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
He finds himself gravitating towards the coffee machine more than once, operating on automatic, and some part of him thinks that maybe cutting down on coffee might be good for the team…
He doesn't know if it's because the whole team's apparently going cold turkey, or because of an internal alarm clock, but he hadn't realized quite how much time he spent making coffee until he was suddenly not.
And Jack seemed to always be there to remind him that there's no coffee today, Ianto, either him or Tosh, and he always ends up wandering away from the kitchen feeling lost…
He gets an astonishing amount of work done, but part of that might be because he's avoiding the annoyance of a grumpy decaffeinated Owen rather than freed up time.
He'd yawning quite a bit more than he thinks he should be, and after a certain point, his arm tries jerking him into the kitchen. Towards the coffee maker.
He resists.
He can go one day without coffee.
He can.
(but only the one.)
Gwen is there to see it, and she grins tiredly at him.
"I didn't know you could be so dramatic, Ianto. Though, it's rather accurate… Owens a close second, but you're definitely the one who'd need to be wrenched away form the coffee machine."
Ianto returns the grin, and shakes his head.
"I suppose Coffee has been on my mind a lot lately… though right now it feels a bit like it's taking over everything… What I would do for an espresso shot right now…"
"You don't realize what you have 'til it's gone," is Gwen's piece of fortune-cookie wisdom to impart.
Ianto heads down the stairs, back to his Archives and the resentfully messy paperwork Owen had shoved at him an hour earlier…
He'd taken a doctors chicken scratch to a whole new level.
Neither Gwen nor Ianto noticed the look Jack and Tosh shared at their conversation.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
Ianto doesn't know if he should be relieved or worried when a call comes in for Torchwood…
He decides on worried, in this instance.
He'd be relieved at the distraction the team needed if it weren't for a gristly murder scene, with 'TORCHWOOD" written out in blood on the walls.
He's privately relieved for himself, because while they're out he has a chance to make himself that espresso shot he so dearly wanted…
He agreed with Jack that they needed to cut down on the amount of coffee the team imbibed on a daily basis, but he disagreed with how he was going about it.
If he didn't want Owen and Ianto teaming up in the most unlikely of times in a bid for caffeine, he'd allow Ianto this.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
Also, by the time the team gets back, the smell of coffee will have dissipated.
He sips, breathing in the roast, and wonders when the last time he'd relaxed like this was.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
Compound B-67.
Ret-Con.
When Jack asks him how many people they've given amnesia pills to, it's only because of the caffeine now in his system that he doesn't get snarky when he replies with "2008."
Owen's reaction to the news that each of the people they've ret-conned is surprising, as there was no way Jack let Owen grab a coffee while they were out. He sounds the most enthusiastic he's ever heard him, and that's including the number of times Owens been caught flirting with girls at bars and on the streets while on the Comm.
Ianto wonders if this is Owen breaking through to the other side of caffeine-depravation.
Is this what's hiding on the other side of Owen-The-Grump?
It's an amusing thought.
That the Risen Mitten is brought out again…
That's less amusing.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
The metal of the glove is uncomfortable to look at.
He checks, and rechecks the cuff of his glove while everyone else is distracted by Jack trying the Mitten, and brings out his pocket watch to time Gwen's attempt. He's somehow not surprised she gets it.
Ianto never tried it—wasn't interested in reminding anyone of the fact, either—but thinks the key to it is empathy.
Suzie, for all that she turned out to be a homicidal maniac in the end, could feel for people. She could really empathize.
Gwen could, too.
"Amazing, she's a natural… 24 seconds." It's impressive.
"Give Ianto a stopwatch and he's happy."
Ianto tucks his chin, just a little, and tilts his head.
"It's the button on the top." Smirks, at Owen's snort.
Her next try: 1 minute, 5 seconds.
Very impressive.
He remembers to write it down, as no one else seems to be able to get past the fact that Suzie is apparently connected to a serial killer.
Ianto's surprised to hear her name, but he's less surprised at the connection.
He'd been the one to throw out the few Pilgrim flyers she had scattered about, and if this guy hadn't mentioned her Ianto would have been the one to bring it up.
He would have been the one to bring her up.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
Gwen's the one who literally brings Suzie up.
Like a Zombie.
He's morbidly fascinated by the whole process…
He wonders how Jack's reacting to this.
He's been with Torchwood longer than anyone—longest surviving member, if he was remembering correctly… he was around before Tosh and Owen, so…
He did a bit of mental math.
Yup.
Longer than 6 years. Likely longer than 7.
He made another mental note to find the paper records of Jack's time with Torchwood, later.
(He very seriously didn't think on the fact that Ianto was the second longest surviving member, currently. He was just finishing his fourth year)
But Jack had likely seen more than any one of them could imagine, and though Ianto couldn't think on an event where zombies were brought into the equation, it was still a possibility.
Still.
It's a bit of a let down.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
Suzie is sullen.
Sullen Suzie.
Sullen Suzie was brought back with the Risen Mitten and the Life Knife, and Ianto really should work on his rhyming and alliteration and assonance, because apparently no one else in Torchwood could make up names for obscure alien artifacts.
He hoped they didn't find anything else that brought people back to (un)life, because he doesn't think he can figure out many more names without repeating himself in on way or another.
But Suzie is sullen, and pouty, and petulant, and self-pitying…
And he can understand getting into the mindset, because, to be fair, she is dead…
But Ianto's getting really tired of her shit.
She doesn't even say 'hi' to him.
Ianto sighs, and wishes for a coffee.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
Jack says no at the same time Tosh does. They seem to realize their mistake, and look at Ianto, wide eyed and, on Tosh's part, slightly guilty.
Owen looks at them both, and turns to look at Ianto.
"Is this because of you? Are they banning coffee because of you?"
Ianto frowns at Owen before turning his gaze to Tosh and Jack.
"Is… there a reason you're so against me making coffee?"
It seems oddly specific.
A sudden thought.
Oh gods. They think he's going to, to poison them, or something. They think he's going to do something to the coffee.
He feels vaguely insulted.
And also confused.
How does having a cybernetic arm translate to 'I'm going to kill you by putting something in your drink', rather than 'DELETE, DELETE'?
Jack only hesitates a moment before answering.
"No. No reason. Just no coffee today Ianto."
He wonders what, exactly, Tosh told Jack.
He wonders what it could be to make Jack lie so badly.
He wonders what is calling his coffee making skills into question.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
The base is locked down, all power down, and things are all going to shit—
Why did they leave heart-on-her-sleeve-Gwen alone with the pity party that is Suzie Costello?
—And he could really use a drink.
Preferably alcoholic, but barring that it was looking like a long night.
Ianto thinks, screw it, and heads to the kitchen.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
Tosh, Owen, and Jack all look grateful for the coffee, and down half of it in one go.
Ianto sips at his, sets it down, and goes to set up the water tower as a relay.
He allows himself to enjoy the shocked look Jack gives him when he says he's got a signal, and feels a small curl of pleasure at the grin Jack gives him.
Clever.
"Nice Work Ianto… But who do we—hang on. How did you make coffee? And why did you make coffee? You aren't allowed—no, wait, I'm more interested in how. We don't have power! How did you make coffee Ianto?"
He shrugged.
"The coffee machine is always on. Even when we turn off power for updates and repairs… I always supposed that there was a back-up energy source somewhere inside of it."
He doesn't know what's happening to Jack's expression, but he doesn't look nearly as pleased.
Tosh looks worried, and keeps darting nervous glances towards the kitchen, and back to Jack.
Ianto wonders what he did wrong.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
Calling up the Police Force is professionally embarrassing, but not as bad as it could be.
Yes, the DI on the phone makes Jack admit to the whole Unit that they're trapped in their own base, but comparatively speaking, it's not as bad as it could be.
At least there's no Cybermen.
At least there's no Daleks.
At least there's no—oh, wait, there is one zombie wandering about, so he supposed that argument is invalid in this situation.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
Jack and Owen go after Suzie while Ianto and Tosh hold down the fort.
He wants to ask Tosh what the hell was going on with her and jack, wants to ask what she heard, wants to ask what the hell was going on in general, but any time he broaches the subject she changes the subject.
Brings up yet another thing that needs to be done.
He wonders if it's actually evasion tactics for a moment, as each thing actually needs doing, at least until he realizes that Tosh is stalling as much as possible, extending each thing that needs to be done, and getting him to do things that she could do in a quarter of the time.
It's frustrating.
But he can't feel too sore about it, not with how guilty and regretful Tosh was looking.
Ianto sighs.
Fine.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
Tosh is the one to shoot the Risen Mitten, but Ianto's the one who tosses her the gun.
If this were a sport, he'd call it an assist.
As it wasn't, he instead classifies it as story of his life, and moves on.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
He's exhausted, and wondering if he can put off finishing the paperwork on Suzie for later when Jack comes into the morgue. And there's the reason he can't.
"Thanks for doing this," he says, like Ianto was going to make him fill out the paperwork on Suzie being dead—again.
Though he tried to hide it, Jack was a bit of a romantic over things… Even if she was crazy and delusional, she was still at one point part of Jacks team. Still at one point his responsibility, and he'd be feeling it. Still. Again.
He'd be feeling it.
So instead Ianto's here.
"It's part of my job, Sir."
"No. I should be doing it, but…" He turns to lean against one of the closed doors, and sighs. It's long, drawn out, and Ianto wants to mention that he would't be feelin this tired if he hadn't outlawed coffee for the day, but thinks better of it for a number of reasons.
(One of which is the worry that Jack might carry the no-coffee rule over to tomorrow if he mentions it)
"One day we're going to run out of space."
Depressing thought.
He feels his thoughts turn dark… he wonders what happened to Lisa's ashes.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
Depleted Levels Of Serotonin.
Noradrenalin Levels At 68%
Adrenaline Levels At 53%
Calculating…
Calculating Levels Of Testosterone…
Calculation Complete.
Solution Found.
Implementing Solution.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
He feels his sleeve shift, pen dropped onto his clipboard, and saw that his arm had moved to clasp at Jacks arm.
Jack seems as surprised to see it there as Ianto is.
He also seems less embarrassed over it.
Ianto's hand moves slightly, and he realizes with some horror that his cybernetic arm is caressing Jack Harkness's arm.
His cybernetic arm is making him grope his boss.
And his boss seems fine with it.
Surprised, but fine with it.
Oh god.
He scrambles for something to say. But what the hell could he say? He feels a weight in his pocket.
"If— If you're interested, I've still got that stopwatch."
Oh god, where the hell can he go with this?
Jack looked confused, and Ianto could just about read his thoughts.
Nice touching, and now stopwatches? Where is this going?
Ianto wishes he could answer, but he had no fucking clue, and felt like he was two minutes away from a panic attack.
"... So?" Where are you going with this Ianto? Sex?
Oh gods, he didn't know.
"Well, think about it… lots of things you can do with a stopwatch." Like tell the time. And… time things. And figure out exactly how much time he's been scrambling at this conversation. And… well. You can also just listen t it tick. Where to go from here?
"Oh yeah… hah I can think of a few."
Oh, fuck, Jack thinks he's hitting on him. This is the most awkward, embarrassing conversation they've ever had and—wait, did Jack really think Ianto's attempt at flirting would be this awkward? He's insulted.
He'd done a much better job of it when he was trying to get into Torchwood after Canary Warf.
So he lets a small, welcoming grin slide onto his face. He can do better than that.
The smile turns flirty.
"It's quite a list." He can think of maybe two, three things.
Fuck, couldn't he have grasped onto something else to distract Jack with?
But Jack grins, eyes crinkling.
It's abrupt; the way Jack's attractiveness hits Ianto. He's noticed it before, sure, had noticed when they were catching Myfanwy how god he smelled, and could vaguely remember the warmth of Jack's body both above and below his own…
Suddenly, this doesn't seem like such a bad situation.
There's certainly not going to be any clothing removal, but…
"I'll send the others home early. I'll see you in my office in… ten."
He smiles, a bit eager, and a bit amused at himself when he pulls his pocket watch free and flicks it open.
"That's ten minutes…" he starts the watch to ticking. "…And counting."
He wants to die he feels so embarrassed… but he can't say he's not looking forward to meeting up with Jack.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
Calibrating…
Data On Sexual Intercourse Extrapolating…
Calibration Complete.
Saving Base Functions.
Complete.
.-~-~-~~-~-~.
Bwahaha, they don't know yet :D
Thanks everyone for being so supportive, and don't forget to check out the Intermission I posted! If this is Ao3 it should be in the series (CYBER), and if this is ffn dot net, the story is called Cyborg.
It's not as Ianto-centric, but I enjoy it :D
Oh, and excitement for RandomPersonOfDoom, because she's posting chapter 4 of her podfic for my story And I Wake Up (Complete)…
I AM JUST SO EXCITED! Insane!Ianto will drive me crazy :D
~Doodled93~