A/N: Thank you to everyone for reading! And just as a reminder, this story explores some dark themes. It is rated M because of language, sex, drugs, and other adult themes. If you are easily offended, please do not read this story.
If you haven't checked it out already, please give my other story a look. It is called The Innocent Heart of Darkness.
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Chapter 4 – Travelling Ink
My illuminating talk with Alice in the girl's bathroom opened my eyes and I began to observe my classmates a little more thoroughly. It was clear that most of the kids at my high school had grown up together and seemed to know every little detail about each other's lives. This idea was more than unsettling to me. No matter how silent I was or how much I tried to appear unworthy of attention, there was no hope for me to fade into the background, no possibility for me to hide behind my mediocrity. Any new kid, even boring, plain, broken Bella Swan couldn't slip under the radar at Forks High.
Despite my attempts to avoid interaction with other students I had been bombarded with attention all day. By the end of the school day, though I continued in my attempt to divert questions about my past, I found that I had met more people and talked more than maybe I ever had in my entire life. Everyone seemed to know me when I didn't even know myself. I felt like a turtle without a shell, naked and desperate for cover.
When the dismissal bell rang and I dragged myself along with the throng of other students out to the front of the school I was thoroughly exhausted and felt ready to collapse. I had nothing more to give. I was empty. I had always been strong for Renee because she needed me to be but now I was lost without a reason to keep going. Life had become so unpredictable. I didn't know the rules to this new life.
My eyes shifted from one student to another as they hugged, high-fived, got into their cars, walked side by side, and wondered why it seemed so easy for them. I felt the weight of the realization that I was acutely alone hit me. My insides felt like they were caving inward, hollow, vacant, and void of life. I clasped my arms tightly around my chest to keep from crumbling and held the pieces of myself together.
I spied Jessica Stanley approaching me from the other end of the parking lot. I just didn't have the energy to listen to her loquacious babbling or to figure out how to appropriately respond to her consistently probing questions. Having to face her at this moment almost seemed worse than being alone. Pretending I didn't see her, I took a step backwards and hunched against the cold, concrete wall. I could see her neck craned in my direction, searching for a glimpse of me. I sighed in relief as her focus shifted and she began walking down the parking lot toward a van where a group of kids were clustered, their arms gesturing and hanging on one another familiarly. Rap music blared from the van's speakers, fragments of heavy bass drifting across the moist air and slapping me like a door slammed in the face.
Where was Charlie? I needed to leave this place. I decided to walk to the other end of the school toward the entrance of the lot so I could catch sight of the cruiser before it approached the school. I began walking quickly with my head purposefully down so that my eyes were trained on the feet of the few lingering students I passed. When my eyes landed on a pair of black boots I lifted my eyes and walked right into a cloud of billowing smoke.
"Hey Bella," Alice's voice trilled, "You know that smoke follows beauty?"
"Alice. Hi!" I said with uncharacteristic enthusiasm.
With some surprise, I realized that my response was genuine. I truly felt relieved and happy to see her again. Strangely, being surrounded by the smoke from her cigarette somehow bolstered me as though she were encasing me in her essence, enfolding me in protective arms, and I felt almost full again.
If she noticed my distress and my distinct inability to act casually, she thoughtfully didn't mention it. She seemed to inherently know to tread lightly around me.
"Oh, there's my honey," she said, smiling hugely. "Jasper!" she yelled, jumping up and down in complete abandon.
"Bella, come on," she grasped my hand in hers and I felt a jolt of apprehension at her touch but the emotion quickly morphed into a small coil of happiness. She tugged me until I hopped forward. Without hesitation, she linked her arm with mine, my eyes falling to her black painted nails as she excitedly nudged me forward. I immediately decided to give up any feelings of trepidation or anxiety and allow myself to be thoroughly captivated by my pixie friend. I had nothing to lose; besides, I couldn't escape the healing power of her infectious energy. Only moments before I was overcome by my feelings of despondency but Alice literally yanked me out of my dark mood. There was simply something about her that instantly soothed me and made me almost feel hopeful.
I was floating on this new and unfamiliar cloud of happiness when I spied the figure we were fast approaching. I first noticed his heavily scuffed black motorcycle boots, the complement to Alice's. My stomach clenched nervously as I shamelessly stared at the very svelte man swinging his muscular leg over the back of his very unusual looking motorcycle. I was embarrassed by my instinctual reaction to the raw sensuality of his lithe movements. I stifled a gasp as he pulled his helmet off revealing a messy head of blond hair. He had piercing blue eyes anchored by perfectly chiseled cheekbones. He oozed masculinity, his gaze landing on Alice as he stalked forward like a hungry feline about to pounce on his prey.
I almost feared for Alice as though she were about to be eaten whole. I glanced at her face, eager to glean from her expression how I should be reacting to this predatory behavior. But her face confused me more than ever. She met his gaze with equal intensity, an impish smile curling at the edges of her lips. Jasper walked intently forward and without my awareness, Alice somehow drew us toward him, closing the space between us.
I couldn't take my eyes off of Jasper's long arms, his flesh a canvas with artwork tattooed on every square inch down to his wrists. From my distance, I could only discern blocks of many colors, with black serpentine lines outlining animalistic forms and bits of concentric, repetitive patterns. I yearned to examine them closer but couldn't imagine that sort of intimacy with anyone. I wondered how far the ink stretched past his exposed arms, whether it travelled across the hard planes of his body. I'd never seen anyone so tattooed and even though I was entirely intrigued I resisted staring openly as we got closer.
Jasper inhaled a deep breath, never breaking his focus on Alice. I could sense the energy vigorously pulsing through her small body as she dropped her arm from mine and launched herself at Jasper. She tucked herself around his torso and I was relieved to see his long inked arms wrap themselves possessively around her. Over her shoulder I saw him break into a beautiful, genuine smile. His face was positively transformed as he held her, curling his body down to her and kissing her forehead sweetly.
Jasper's appearance, like Alice's, seemed designed to repel others but I could see that it was just an act – a protective barrier against the world. Somehow I could sense the sensitive guy beneath the armor. Whether he wanted to or not, Jasper exuded warmth and love, instantly putting me at ease.
Alice wrenched herself backwards out of Jasper's arms and held a hand out for me. I took a tentative step forward but my eyes were fixed to the ground.
"Jasper, this is my new friend, Bella."
"Nice to meet you, Bella," Jasper's voice was rich and inviting and not at all like I expected. He reached out a hand to me and I was forced to step closer to take it. I couldn't stop my eyes from scanning the imagery on his arms as I placed my hand in his.
"I like your tattoos," I blurted without thinking as he shook my hand. But my outburst was met with another one of his sweet smiles. I found myself looking at the ground again, pleased and astonished that my compliment had actually affected him. It was hard for me to believe that someone like him would actually care what I thought.
"Thanks," he said, nodding at me. "You should see Alice's," he added tilting his head toward her and I stifled a gasp as my eyes flew to her face. She shrugged, her lips in a thin line, but didn't offer any further explanation.
I turned back to face Jasper and felt a burst of courage, his easy manner somehow filling me with confidence. I searched for more words, more compliments, secretly hoping to elicit another smile from his beautiful face.
"Your motorcycle is really cool too. Is it vintage or something?" I asked, surprising myself again that the thought actually made it from my brain to my mouth.
"Yeah, it's actually a Harley Davidson XA from 1942. They used the same kind of bike in World War II," he answered with unbridled enthusiasm. "It was my Dad's," he added in a somber tone, his eyebrows coming together slightly. He recovered quickly and pointed to an army green box on the side. "Look, it still has the ammo box. Those are hard to come by."
"Wow, that's amazing," I said, both seduced by his passion for the bike and truly interested in its historical background.
"Thanks, Bella," he said, clapping his hand on my shoulder in an accepting and friendly way. I cursed my body's reaction to his touch as I felt the predictable sensation of heat surging to my face and flushing it an embarrassing mottled red.
"Hey, you're Chief Swan's daughter, right?" he asked as if he had just made the connection. He extended his arm, holding me directly in front of him and looked me squarely in the face.
I nodded and then looked down again. I was so overcome by his strong physical presence that I took a step backwards away from him and bumped into Alice. I wished that I could cover my face to hide the blush that I knew persisted to mortify me. I began to feel the burning in my eyes and blinked against the threat of unprovoked tears. Jasper scrutinized my reaction to his questions with shrewd but compassionate eyes. He instantly shifted his attention away from me, drawing Alice to his side so they were leaning against the motorcycle.
"Well, I'm glad you moved here, Bella. Alice needs a friend to keep her company when I'm away," he lifted his hand and lovingly caressed the side of her face with his index finger.
I turned to look at Alice and she met my gaze with a smile and nod. She moved back in closer to Jasper, wiggling her way under his outstretched arm. Their overt affection for one another both thrilled me and made my dull heart ache. The love they radiated was foreign to me.
"We're having a dinner at my house on Friday night for Jasper before he goes away again. You have to come, okay?"
There was a pleading quality to her tone that I couldn't ignore. The thought of a family dinner at her house frightened me to death but I didn't know how to say no. So I didn't say anything. I tried to think of a way out of it but before I could, Alice took my silence as an acceptance of her offer.
"We'll talk later and I'll give you all the details. Yay! I'm so excited, Bella. My parents are going to love you! Oh, isn't that your dad?" she pointed behind me to where Charlie's police cruiser was pulling into an empty parking spot. I flushed at the sight of the car and fumbled with my bag, hefting it too quickly over my shoulder and stumbling a few steps backward.
"Well, bye," I muttered, confronted with a fresh wave of mortification as I headed for my police escort home.
"Bye Bella. See you tomorrow!" Alice yelled and even though my day was mixed at best, I thought that meeting Alice was possibly one of the highest points of my life.
End Notes:
So what did you guys think of my Jasper? I am more than a little bit in love with him! Remember, Bella has very little experience with boys – and she is simply fascinated by him. Don't worry, Jasper belongs strictly to Alice.
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