A/N Sorry for the long wait guys! It took forever, but here it is! Hope you like!
Summery: Nationals changed everything. Having lost her way, Payson turns to the only person she has ever loved to help her find her way back to reality. A story about love and what it means to be a true champion...
"Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe."
Chapter 3
Kaylie watched as Nicky worked his way around his new and improved rings routine. There was something about him that was different than any other boy she'd ever seen. No guy had ever turned down an opportunity to talk to her like Nicky had. In a way it offended her, but in a strange way, it made her want him. You can't think like that, he's Payson's she thought quickly, before she started thinking the statement through. He caught her staring and dismounted off the rings with a simple layout dismount, making his way over to her.
"What's wrong Princess?" he asked, as he chalked up to run his routine over again. Again and again. Till it was perfect. Just like Payson thought Kaylie. He reminded Kaylie too much of her. Everywhere she went, all she heard was Payson this Payson that. She loved her best friend, but the National Champion deserved some appreciation too.
"Hello? Earth to Disney Land?" called Nicky, as Kaylie stared off into space. She shook her head and met his gaze, flashing him a small smile.
"Hey..." Kaylie began, not quite sure what she should begin with. Endorsements? More photo shoots? Payson? She really felt like she could talk to Nicky about Payson, but she decided to stick with something safer.
"So we have a pool party in LA to go to this weekend." Kaylie tried, with a shrug. Nicky chuckled.
"So it didn't go well with Payson I see?" he asked, keeping his eyes set on the tape around his wrist. Kaylie balked.
"How..." Nicky cut her off by throwing his arm around her shoulder.
"Princess, you're not that hard to read," he guided her towards the exit, "you wanted to talk to me about it but you decided that it would be safer to stick with endorsements and all the other crap MJ pulls?" Kaylie shrugged and trudged to a stop, turning to face him completely.
"She hates me so much. I don't even know why." She slightly jut out her bottom lip, a usual habit she had built up since she was a little girl whenever her father refused to buy her the bugs bunny popsicles with the gumball eyes from the ice cream truck because gymnast and it would make her gain weight. Nicky chuckled and took her hand in his, pulling her out of the Rock, towards his car.
"What are you doing?" asked Kaylie, not really protesting to whatever it was. She liked the way her hand fit into Nicky's. Like a puzzle piece thought Kaylie. The thought sparked a smile on her face. A true smile. Not one that she forced on to make people believe everything was okay.
"Let's go somewhere," announced Nicky, pulling her out of her thoughts. "Somewhere we aren't forced to go to by MJ," he tried. He could sense Kaylie's decision wavering. He intertwined their fingers and smiled. His warm, comforting, persuading smile. The one he usually reserved for Payson.
"It'll be fun."
#
Payson wasn't accustomed to anyone helping her through a rough time. She was known to be 'unpredictable' and 'headstrong' when she was upset or distressed, but one thing she knew was that Sasha Belov was anything but ordinary. He had driven Payson nearly thirty miles out of Boulder for what? A zoo? She always trusted Sasha and she wasn't going to stop now. The last time she doubted him, she ended up in this situation with a back brace.
"Why are we here again?" grumbled Payson as she stepped through the giant iron cast gate to the Denver Zoo. The smell of stale popcorn and unkempt animals invaded her senses. She crinkled her nose in disgust as she laid eyes on an elephant doing its business. The first word she thought of was choas. Sasha slid an arm around her waist and quickly pulled her out of the way as a middle aged women chasing a toddler was about to body check her.
"Bloody Americans and their good for nothing children." Sasha muttered, as he guided Payson to safety through a mob of angry American men. Payson giggled as Sasha cursed at the ongoing visitors of the public zoo. Suddenly, Payson found Sasha's accent irresistible. And what was with the attractive five o' clock shadow? And the piercing blue eyes? Together they were enough to make her knees buckle. Why was she just noticing this? Sasha turned to her and wagged his eyebrows playfully.
"And what might you be looking at Keeler?" Sasha scoffed as Payson tried to fight the heat creeping up her neck. Busted. Was she seriously staring at him? What was this, second grade?
"I take it you don't ever want kids?" she finally asked. Sasha snorted.
"And when did I ever say that?" Payson rolled her. She took a deep breath and arched her eyebrows the way Sasha always did.
"Bloody Americans and their good for nothing children! Bah Humbug!" Payson immitated in a deep voice and bad accent. Sasha burst out in laughter as Payson used his own words against him. He found this side of Payson adorable. In the gym, she was always so focused and determined; but outside of the realm of gymnastics, Payson was probably one of the most fun people to be around. Not that she believed it one bit.
"First of all, nobody said anything about Bah Humbug. Second of all, I said bloody Americans raise children who are good for nothing, last time I checked I'm not a bloody American," Sasha smirked proudly and Payson tried her best to look morally offended, but eventually fell into fits of giggles.
"You better watch who you're with when you say that Belov, some people," she coughed gesturing to herself, "might find that a little offensive! Are you saying that I'm good for nothing?" Sasha balked at the girl standing in front of him. Who was this girl? He had never in his life heard Payson talking so much, and he had never in his life felt like he couldn't get enough of it.
"You my Payson Keeler, I could never say that to," he said, playfully tapping her nose. She barked out a laugh.
"Really? Because even I think I'm good for nothing at this point. What's the point of life if I'm not good at anything? I should just die, it wouldn't be like I was here at all." Sasha frowned at her words. Even as a joke, he could feel his blood start to broil. He couldn't imagine his life without Payson and he doubted that anyone else could either.
"Hey Sasha, I'm just kidding. I'm not some psychotic teenager who's going to kill herself." Sasha stopped walking and looked into her eyes. He loved her so much, and didn't know how he would survive if something happened to her.
"Payson, I don't want you to ever say anything like that ever again. I can't imagine my life without you, with or without gymnastics." She smiled and nodded.
"Yes coach," she saluted. They made their way around the zoo. It was so easy to be themselves when they were together. No hard feelings and no seriousness. Sasha would occasionally take a hand full of the popcorn and shove it into her mouth. Payson would giggle trying to swallow it all. It was as if they were one of those sappy couples Payson always mocked on TV shows. She swore she would never be like them, but with Sasha, she didn't care if that's what they looked like it. She shook her head. She shouldn't have been thinking about her coach like that. Well, ex coach. She sighed and turned to Sasha as they exited the tiger exhibit where Sasha had managed to name each one a ridiculous name, starting with naming the biggest one Big Foot.
"You wanna know how I really feel about all this?" Payson started as they passed by the cotton candy stand where a five year old was crying over his cotton candy on the ground. Sasha chuckled and guided them to a bench adjacent to the monkey exhibit, motioning for her to sit down. Payson settled herself, Sasha's shoulder cushioning her back. He slid an arm around her shoulder and looked down at her.
"How do you feel?"
"I feel like I had everything I could ever hope for, and it was all ruined because thought I could do anything. If I had just been honest with you, I would still be on top of the world. And I feel so numb right now. I feel like I'm going to wake up any minute and go to the Rock," Payson let out a shaky breath, as a tear slowly rolled down her cheek, "but I'm not. I'm not going to wake up. I'm not going to ever fly on bars. I'm not going to ever get to learn a double Arabian on floor. I'm not ever going to up my DOD. I'm not ever going to," she fixed her gaze to Sasha's steel gray eyes, "Sasha, I'm never going to win."
"Payson, you have already won something more valuable than a gold medal. You have won respect. From your family, friends, team mates, fans, heck competitors even. You have won love. From Kaylie, from Lauren, from Emily, from Becca, from your parents. So what if you don't have a gold medal? Because you have so much more." He tightened his grip around her as she curled into his chest.
"Do I really?" she murmured into his t-shirt. He nodded and turned to face her, their bodies still flush against each other.
"Of course you do, everyone loves you immensly Payson." She smiled and started drawing mindless patterns against his muscular torso.
"Do you?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper; somehow having gathered the courage to ask the question. Sasha swallowed thicky, wondering what the appropriate thing to say would be. She looked up into his eyes, searching if they were harboring an answer.
"Payson, I," before he could finish, the voice of a six year old girl called for Payson. For moment, Payson ignored the voice, still looking into Sasha's eyes; and for a moment, he did the same, but they were pulled out of their moment yet again.
"Ms Keeler!" Payson broke out of her daze and met the piercing blue eyes of an enthusiastic little girl, who looked as if her cheeks might rip at the size of her smile. Payson couldn't help but smile at the child, as if her smile was contagious.
"Hello," Payson started, not quite knowing what the girl wanted. She watched as the small girl tucked a strand of her dirty blonde hair behind her ear and straighten her posture before handing Payson a fresh napkin and a pen.
"Ms Keeler, would you please sign this for me? I'm your biggest fan in the whole world," she said, twirling around trying to make her point valid, "I watched every meet you were ever on ever since I was four! You were always the best, especially at Nationals. I was sad you didn't win. Mommy said you could never do gymnastics again, but I believe you can," she blabbed. Payson signed her name on the napkin, but paused when she mentioned her gymnastics. She looked up to meet the six year old's burning gaze.
"You think I can do it?" she asked softly, not quite sure why she was seeking the consolation of a young and naive child over the highly trained proffesional doctor who diagnosed her back. The child nodded brightly and smiled ear to ear.
"Yes! Of course I do! You're the best gymnast in the world, remember?" she asked, as though Payson had missed the most obvious fact in the world. Lost deep in thought, Payson slightly smiled.
"What's your name?" she asked, taking the girls miniscule hand in hers.
"Mackenzie," she announced proudly. "You should know because I'm going to be just like you when I grow up. A champion." Payson shed a tear as her words hit home. Sasha had been right. People did think of her as a champion. She really was loved. She gently stroked Mackenzie's hair and smiled.
"I'm sure you will be Mackenzie. I believe in you too," said Payson, echoing back her earlier words. The little six year old nodded and scampered off, holding her autographed napkin to her chest as if it was her most prized possesion. Payson remained silent, running Mackenzie's encouraging words over through her head.
You're the best gymnast in the world, remember? For a moment, she could feel her heart soar. The way it did when she launched herself from the high bar to the low in one swift move. For a moment, she was at the top of the world. the way she was when she was on the podium for gold. For a moment, she let herself believe she really was the best gymnast in the world. The way she felt when a gold medal hung around her neck.
"Payson," called Sasha, his voice distant, as if it was a lost memory. One of the many memories floating silently around her suddenly vacant mind. Vague glimpses of her past life over whelmed her head to toe. The way her callused hands felt in freshly chalked grips. The way her feet hit the beam, as if cemented, when she did her mount perfectly. The way every thought was erased from her mind as she ran towards the horse during her Yurchenko vaults. Suddenly, she felt as lost as an abandoned puppy in New York City. As every coherent thought escaped her mind, one burned into her brain the way fire burned through everything in it's path.
If gymnastics defined her, who is the new Payson Keeler?
A/N Again, sorry for the late update guys! I guess time just really got to me. I had a really busy week with tests and projects and all. Sucks being a freshman. I also took forever to write this chapter. I'm pretty sure I'm going through a wicked case of writers block and I'm not really sure how to work through it, so I did the best I could here. I rewrote it like a million times and I'm pretty sure this is the best it's going to get.
So we got some Nicky and Kaylie drama starting to stir up. I have mixed feelings about Nicky. I don't really hate him, but I don't really love him either. I think he was better off with Kaylie than Payson though. For you Kaylicky and KayAus fans, don't worry, Austin will be here soon (whether you think it's good or not)! He just needs to make his way over to Boulder in his ridiculously expensive motor cycle!
We also have Payson and Sasha here on their 'not so official' date. Payson's going to hit her breaking point soon in her denial phase. I'm sure little Mackenzie sparked the realization in Payson that she wasn't even aware of. If you guys want to see who Mackenzie is, I have a picture attached on my profile. Tell me if you liked her!
Thanks a bunch to my reviewer, RachealA13 and the annonomous review! Your reviews kept me going! If you didn't review before, please review this chapter! Tell me what you think! Good, bad or horrible. Just leave a quick review of your thoughts!