What have I done? I'm as bad as the monster that killed me. L sat with his wings wrapped around him like he was in a cocoon. What had happened to him? That person didn't deserve to die. He hadn't done anything to L. Justice was served on him. It was Kira who deserved to die. L wished he could turn back the clock. He couldn't believe what he'd done.

"Lawliet, come on out of there. You can't hide behind your wings forever" moaned Beyond Birthday who was writing names down in his notebook

"Go away! I can try"

"You couldn't hide behind your computer forever"

"This is your entire fault Beyond"

"I didn't make you right that guys name in the notebook. I've got my own names to write. Admit it Lawliet, you are a killer."

"Shut up!" L covered his ears inside his wings. He couldn't stand that word. Maybe he'd just have to accept it and get on with life as a shinigami. He still had so much to learn though. He opened up his wings the blue shimmer that the black had shinned. He watched Beyond writing names in the notebook.

'Lucy Claymons. Murder. Dies from swallowing glass hidden in food.'

"Like it?" asked Beyond proudly

"Are all your killings as gross as that?" Beyond shrugged

"Not all but most of them are. Some more than others" L sneered and turned away. Beyond rolled his eyes and sighed he genuinely did not understand why L had such a problem with killing. Beyond closed his death note and put it in its pouch. He roughly grabbed L's arm. "What the hell?"

"Get up. We're going to 'help' some people" said Beyond his cape separating into his two wings. L had to fly with him. The two travelled to where the windows to the human world were. The window swirled and there came a picture of a man in a hospital bed he was attached to a life support machine. L looked at the man he looked so sad.

"Lawliet, are you just going to let that man suffer like that?"

"Don't think I don't know what you're up to. You're trying to tempt me into killing again. You truly are like Lucifer, Beyond"

"You want that man to keep suffering? Look at his life span he's got many years left. Many years of lying strapped to a machine. Don't you think it's better for him to be put out of his misery now? Stop his family from getting false hope and make room in the hospital for new patients. All you have to do is write his name and that's all"

L looked at the man. It's true that it would be better if the man was put out of his misery but what gave L the right to do that? He was in a war in his mind. He couldn't say that he wasn't capable of killing because he knew that wasn't true. I'm a shinigami now. I can do this, it's my purpose and what's more I'm helping. L nervously took his notebook out from its pouch and took his quill. His hand was shaking. He looked at Beyond who was smiling and nodded slightly. L closed his eyes and started to write.

'Julius Barker. Dies peacefully'

40 seconds later the bar on the man's life support machine went flat. L took a big breath. Beyond rubbed L's back. "How do you feel?"

"As if you didn't know"

"You feel good? You just helped someone."

"I don't feel good but I feel better"

"Why's that Lawliet?"

"Because I freed that person from pain. I can't help people in life anymore but I can help them in death" a small smile started to grow on L's face. Maybe being a shinigami isn't gonna be all bad thought L to himself. Deep down he was starting to get a bit worried that he was pleased that he just killed someone.

"Told you it wasn't completely bad Lawliet" Beyond stroked L's face. "Wanna help some more people Lawliet?" he asked softly. L nodded reluctantly. Beyond observed L. Watching him finish off the living dead. People in comas, people with cancer he finished them one by one. L did 5 people and then he had to stop. "I feel sick" he moaned

"Don't be silly. You're dead you can't be sick" He's still struggling to come to terms with this thought Beyond

"What gives you and me the right to take human life?"

"Lawliet we've talked about this. We're gods of death. We have every right and what's more it's our job. Why do you find it so difficult to accept this? You even admitted you felt better after you stopped that person's suffering"

"Yes but something just keeps holding me back and I keep coming back to the fact that you're a murderer and also tried to surpass me"

"Oh you doubt my sincerity I understand. Say look at it this way, you kill to help people like you helped people in life. I kill just for a laugh like I did in life. We're like the Ying-Yang of the shinigami realm."

"You got a point there Beyond. Ok I'll kill but only people who are in pain and don't you try and corrupt me. You've done that enough already."

"I promise. There's still a lot to teach you though"