Wishing on the moon

Because stars get overwhelmed

And hit England's head.

-holly (empressfate) 's haikus.

I wish I had told him about it then. Then I wouldn't have to toss and turn at night and wonder. Sleeping on a problem isn't comfortable.

I wish I had told him about it then. When we were empty of tears and our hearts were raw.

I wish I had told him about it then. We were safe there, covered by bushes and trees.

Now, I can't sleep. My heart is bricked up and guarded. I am exposed to the world, it seems.

Why did he look so sad then, when we had to go back to our homes? Why did his eyes look so…full? Like he was bursting at the seams to say something. I stared up at the ceiling and tried to discern meaning in the little bumps. A cat…a heart…the world…Eastern Europe…a coast on the Baltic Sea. If I unfocused my eyes I could see our borders…the borders of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth.

I turned over and buried my face in my pillows. There's no use thinking about it. I can't deny that I love him. I can't change it either. I got out of bed and opened the window, hoping the winter air could blast away all my feelings and numb my heart the way it numbed my fingers.

No such luck. My heart was still buried in thoughts…jealous thoughts, perverted thought, insincere thoughts, innocent thoughts, crazy thoughts. Thoughts I shouldn't have for him. I looked up at the holy moon, silently entreating it to grant my desires. I looked out over the wise trees, asking them why I want these things. I looked down to the modest ground and...

Saw a little blonde head sneaking around.

"Poland?" I called down. The figure startled and lifted its face.

"Lithy?" Poland got kind of wide-eyed. "Like, why are you here?"

"…"

"…"

"Uh, Poland…" I sighed. "Is there something you needed, maybe?" Why on Earth was he herenow?

"Ah, like, I totally need to use your bathroom." I hit my head on the windowsill. This was still Poland, after all.

"Ok…go to the front door. I'll be there in a minute." He scurried off, maybe he really did need to go. I looked up at the moon once again, and I swear I saw it wink at me. The doorbell went off a few times, and with a parting glance I ran off to cater to another one of Poland's whims.

"Whew, like, thanks Lithy." Poland said as soon as he walked out of the bathroom.

"You're welcome." I sighed, why was he like this? Who raised this crazy country? "Why did you need to come out here for that though? I know you have plumbing." I narrowed my eyes at him, I mean, it is suspicious to suddenly see someone outside your window at night. "Is there a problem or something?"

"Huh?" He looked kind of shocked at the suggestion. "Like, no way. My house totally works great. I just, like, had to pee and your house was closer."

What were you doing out at this time of night! But, rather than ask a question I'd dislike the answer to, I asked if he wanted some hot chocolate, since he was over here.

"Like, shyeah." He flopped down on my most comfortable armchair. "And some, like, vodka or whatever."

What?

Poland never drinks…at least, not around me. "Uh, you serious?"

"Yeah." He said, mellowing out a little. "It's, like, totally been a long day."

I wanted to ask him what happened. I really did. I don't know how I managed to keep my curiosity in check, but somehow I did. "Okay." I nodded. I guess I'm just that lame. I don't even have the guts to ask a simple question. I just did whatever anyone asked of me.

I came back with a tray of hot chocolate and vodka. "Like, awesome." Poland said, taking two cups; alcohol and chocolate. Normally, such a combination would be prohibited from anywhere within a 100 kilometer radius of him (he's as bad as a six-year-old with chocolate, and I can only imagine him drunk). Nonetheless, I don't know what kind of horrible day he could've had.

He downed vodka in one chug, but I saw him wince and a pained expression remained on his face until the hot chocolate cooled enough to sip. His eyes got kind of a glazed look to them as the alcohol began working. He looked up at me as if I just walked into the room. "What're you, like, looking at, Lithy? Something on my face?" Oh! I guess I had been staring at him…

I nervously darted my eyes the room, looking at anything but the soon-to-be drunk valley gay. I mean, guy! That was not a Freudian slip! I shook my head to clear my mind of all weird thoughts that arose. Poland gave me a look and raised an eyebrow. I avoided eye contact.

"Y'know, Lithy, if you, like, cross dressed with me more often you'd, like, totally become more popular." What? Was he serious? Just a second ago, I was worried about him. Bastard.

Still, I couldn't possibly actually get mad at him. "Uh, but then, you know," I tried to think of a way to tactfully say it… "People would think…that I was…um…gay."

It sounded weak and I'm sure Poland knew it. He gave me one of those totally unimpressed stares and snorted. "Mmhmm. Like we all don't totally, like, already know all about you and, like, Korea."

I choked on my own spit and sat there, coughing awkwardly (and painfully) while ever-conscious of Poland's unrelenting stare. "Geez! –cough- You could –hack- at least –cough- -hack- -hack- DAMMIT POLAND I'M CHOKING YOU COULD AT LEAST HELP ME!" But, of course, at that point my throat had cleared. Oh, what a terrible time to breath clearly. Poland hadn't moved at all, and I don't think he blinked either. Still that same blank stare.

"We, like, totally know about the stack of, like, yaoi doujinshi in your closet too." He smirked, and watched me choke again.

Once I recovered again, "We know all about your-"

"Poland!" I yelled.

"Yesh?" He grinned and slouched in his chair.

"I'm not in any sort of relationship with Korea! And I don't have yaoi doujinshi in my closet!"

"Oh, I, like, totally knew that already." He said, waving his hand. "I wouldn't, like, pressure you like this unless I totally knew it was, like, false." Wow, even Poland has a heart and social skills. He continued, "You keep all your doujinshi under your bed."

"Poland! Stop saying things like that!"

He looked at me, shocked. "You totally didn't deny it this time."

"Ack! Not for that reason!" But I knew I was too late. Poland was halfway up the stairs to my room. Oh, God, my life is over.

"Lithy is gay~ Lithy is homo~" I could hear Poland sing. Oh, God, he found them… I walked into the room anyway, and sure enough, he was sitting on my hardwood floor reading my Death Note ones… "So, Lithy, you, like, like LxLight? I'm totally more of a, like, MelloxMatt fan, myself but…"

"Ah! Those aren't mine! They're…Belarus's! Yes, Belarus! She told me to hold on to them a little while ago, and…" My oh-so-carefully thought out lie suddenly stopped midsentence. Did…did Poland really say…

"Geez. Don't, like, look so surprised Lithy." He snickered. "You totally said something earlier about, like, crossdressers being gay, right? Well," He stood and spun in his short skirt. "Am I, like, girly enough?"

"…" Poland fell to the floor laughing. I felt my face freeze. All this time…why didn't I realize this sooner? No, you shouldn't stereotype people because of what clothes they wear.

"Like, you should totally see your face right now, Lithy." He laughed.

That bastard…

"So since you're totally, like, a homo, you should come cosplay with me next con. I'm gonna be Misa!" He flashed a victory sign. Why, Poland? Why can't you be easier to understand for once? Why do you have to run around making a mess of everything? Why…?

(A/N)

Heard Lithuania's voice in the hazy distance and wrote. It looks like the story will end happy, doesn't it? I kinda wanna try writing a bad ending, though.

Sorry if you know nothing about Death Note, it's the first thing I thought of. Misa is a cute idol girl. The rest of the people mentioned are male.

Oh, you probably won't be seeing (reading, you can look at/draw fan art if you need to) them cosplaying 'cause it's boring to people unfamiliar to the other series.

Please review. It hurts my feelings when you don't, 'cause I assume you really hated my story :'(

XD have you heard/seen Lithuania's Eurovision 2010 song? Eastern European Funk. Seriously catchy. I really wish it won...I liked Poland's Legenda too.

XD I listened to them both while I wrote this.