A cheery but powerful voice cut through the general chatter, "Firs' years! Firs' years over here!" Clover picked out the largest man she had ever seen towering a good half meter over the crowed. He had a giant black beard and wore a strange coat with too many pockets. Clover followed in Ron's wake as he pushed through the crowd towards the giant man.

Others, presumably first years, started pushing towards the man also until a small crowd of kids had gathered about him. The man looked around mumbling something to himself for a moment then called out again, "C'mon follow me - Any more firs' years? Mind yer step now! Firs' years follow me!" The crowed followed the giant man away from the train station down a steep narrow path. The path quickly lead them into the woods where thick trees blocked out the light. Nobody spoke much as they walked though the boy who had lost his toad, Neville rushed over to join them with a wave when he saw them. The giant of a man came to a stop bringing the group to a halt and said, "Yeh'll get your firs' sight of Hogwarts in a sec. It's jus' around the bend here."

The group started moving again as the path opened onto the edge of a black lake. The first years broke the silence with a dozen sudden deep breaths and even more startled shouts. Across the lake perched on a mountain was Hogwarts. Clover was struck dumb by the shear size of the castle, it was much larger than the ruins that Aunt Petunia had dragged Dudley and her to for that third grade history project.

She couldn't help but stare at it open mouthed until Ron nudged her and pointed at the small fleet of little wooden boots sitting at the shore which others were already loading into. The giant of a man leading them shouted out, "No more than four to a boat!"

Clover picked out a boat on the edge of the little armada and was quickly joined by Ron and Neville. A moment later a bushy haired girl came over and asked, "Can I please join you?"

Clover nodded while Ron and Neville greeted her a bit more enthusiastically. The girl stepped into the boat nervously and sat down. Clover had to stifle a laugh seconds later when the girl introduced herself as Hermoine and then told Ron he had dirt on his nose.

A moment later the giant who Ron had identified as Hogwarts groundskeeper, Hagrid, queried, "Everyone in?" When no one responded he stepped into a boat by himself and shouted, "Right then - Forward!"

The boats left the shore all at once, quietly floating across the lake with no obvious method of propulsion. The conversation between Ron, Neville and the bushy haired girl who had introduced herself and Hermoine died off as they stared up at the great castle overhead. It towered over them as they sailed nearer and nearer to the cliff on which it stood.

A sudden cry of, "Heads Down!" startled Clover and she jerked around so fast she would have fallen out of the boat if not for Neville grabbing hold of her shoulder. Clover blushed and offered a quick thanks before both of them had to duck beneath a curtain of ivy which hid a wide opening in the cliff face. They were carried along a dark tunnel which seemed to take them right underneath the castle. Clover's eyes adjusted to the darkness quickly and she was almost able to make out the ceiling of tunnel when they came to a sort of underground harbor where the boats came to a rest.

The first years clamored out onto a rough beach of rocks and pebbles. Hagrid produced an already lit lamp from his boat and called out, "This way!" to the group. They followed him through a crack in the rock where a stone staircase had been cut. At the end of the passageway they came out onto a well cut lawn in the shadow of the castle. Clover was shocked to see how late it had become in what had seemed a quick journey across the lake. Hagrid lead the group across the lawn and up a flight of stone steps where they all crowded around the castles huge oak front door.

Hagrid turned about and asked the group, "Everyone here?" When no one responded he raised his huge fist and knocked three times on the castle door. It was one of the loudest noises Clover had ever heard, like what Clover imagined a cannon would sound like. At the third knock the door swung open silently. Inside stood a tall witch with emerald-green robes that had her hair pulled back in a tight bun. Clover knew immediately that the women was not someone to cross.

"The firs' years, Professor McGonagall," Hagrid announced. Clover wondered for a moment where she had heard that name before; then she thought back to her acceptance letter and identified the women as the deputy headmistress. Clover thought she looked the part. The women pulled the door wide after thanking Hagrid and the students followed her into the entrance hall.

The hall was enormous you could have fit the whole of her house in it. The hall was lit with torches that somehow gave off far more light than they should have, leaving the entire hall brightly lit. Clover could hear the low mumble of hundreds of voices speaking at once from a huge pair of doors off of the hall and realized that the rest of the school must have already arrived. Professor McGonagall showed them into a small, empty chamber off the hall. They had to crowd together to fit in the small room, but no one was willing to complain.

McGonagall held up her wand and waited for the first years to fall silent before speaking. "Welcome to Hogwarts. The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room.

"The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches in wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rule-breaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours.

"The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few moments in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you smarten yourselves up as much as you can while your waiting." She stared at the smudge on Ron's nose a second then finished, "I shall return when they are ready for you."

Ron broke the silence first, "So what house are you hoping for. I hope I'm going to be a Gryffindor, that's where all of my brothers went."

There was an awkward pause, then Hermoine spoke in a rush, "I hope I'm going to be in Gryffindor too, it seems to be the best by far, but Ravenclaw wouldn't be too bad." Clover heard someone in the crowd snort at that remark and mentally agreed; Gryffindor was the one house she had no interest in.

Clover was nervous, but Neville looked like a wreck. So when Ron started badgering the boy about his favorite and Neville gave her a pleading look she spoke up in a soft voice. "I hope I'm sorted into Hufflepuff, but wouldn't mind Slytherin."

One of the people listening in on the conversation started coughing at that remark and Ron looked at her like she was insane. A few seconds later he recovered enough to ask, "Er, why mate?"

Clover wondered when she had become a 'mate', but answered anyway. "Hufflepuff's values are hard work and loyalty, I think those things are worthwhile."

Ron slowly nodded as though he was talking with a madman. Clover resisted the urge to sigh, her muggleborn guide had mentioned that some disdained Hufflepuff house, but she hadn't expected it to be so widespread. Ron finally asked, "And Slytherin? You know there isn't a wizard who's gone bad who wasn't in Slytherin."

A boy with hair so blonde it was almost white called out from the crowd, "Oh, please."

Clover wondered why so many people were listening in on a conversation that didn't concern them, but spoke up anyway. "Wasn't Merlin a Slytherin?" She watched Ron stutter as his face went red and made a mental note to thank the girl with pretty eyes she had met in Madame Malkin's for that tidbit.

Clover saw Hermoine open her mouth then freeze. Behind them a few people screamed. Clover turned around and gasped. So did all the people around her. About twenty ghosts had just floated through the back wall. The specters were a pearly white and slightly transparent. They glided about near the ceiling hardly noticing the students below. After recovering from her shock, Clover enjoyed their argument and wondered who Peeves was and how he could be 'not really a ghost.'

Unfortunately one ghost wearing a ruff and tights suddenly noticed the first years looking up at him from below and demanded to know who they were. Nobody answered. Another ghost, this one squat and fat with a comforting face answered a second later with a cheerful shout of, "New Students!" The ghost swooped down to where McGonagall had been standing previously and introduced himself as the Fat Friar and the house ghost of Hufflepuff.

"Come along now. It is time for the sorting." Clover craned about to see that Professor McGonagall had returned. Clove turned back around in time to watch the last of the ghosts float through the wall back to wherever they had come from.

"Form a line." Professor McGonagall waited with exaggerated patience as the students rushed to obey her order. When she was satisfied with the makeshift line she announced, "Follow me." and walked back into the entrance hall. She lead the group through the pair of doors Clover had noticed earlier into the great hall.

The hall was lit by thousands of candles floating in the air, which like the torches in the hall provided far more light than they should have. Below the candles were four long tables where the students were sitting draped in what Clover assumed was the colors of their house. At the top of the hall was another table on a raised dais perpendicular with the other four where the teachers were eating. Professor McGonagall lead the students to the teachers table, so they came to a halt facing the students with the teachers behind them.

Clover wasn't looking at the students though. The ceiling of the great hall had finally captured her attention. Clover stared up at the starry night sky until Hermoine nudged her and whispered, "It's bewitched to look like the sky outside. I read about it in Hogwarts, A History." Clover wished that Hermoine hadn't told her about the ceiling, wondering about it had been good for countering how nervous she was beginning to feel.

Clover gave the night sky one last glance then looked down in time to see Professor McGonagall place a pointed witches hat on a wooden stool. The hat was patched and very dirty. Clover wondered how the hat would sort them and desperately wished that her muggleborn guide had been less vague about the Sorting Ceremony.

Clover glanced about the hall nervously looking for some guidance. Eventually she realized that everyone else in the hall was staring at the hat so she decided to follow suit. The whole hall fell silent in anticipation, then the hat twitched. A second later a rip formed along the brim of the hat and widened into a giant smile. Clover felt a smile spreading across her own face a second later when the hat began to sing:

"Oh, you may think I'm pretty,

But don't judge what you see,

I'll eat myself if you can find

A smarter hat than me.

You can keep your bowlers black,

Your top hats sleek and tall,

For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat

And I can cap them all.

There's nothing hidden in your head

The Sorting Hat can't see,

So try me on and I will tell you

Where you ought to be.

You might belong in Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave at heart,

Their daring, nerve, and chivalry

Set Gryffindors apart;

You might belong in Hufflepuff,

Where they are just and loyal,

Those patient Hufflepuffs are true

And unafraid of toil;

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,

IF you've a ready mind,

Where those of wit and learning,

Will always find their kind;

Or perhaps in Slytherin

You'll make your real friends,

Those cunning folk who use any means

To achieve their ends.

So put me on! Don't be afraid!

And don't get in a flap!

Your in safe hands (though I have none)

For I'm a thinking Cap!"

The great hall burst into applause as the Sorting Hat finished its song. Clover's smile got even wider when the hat bowed to each of the four tables then went quite still again. Clover heard Ron complain to Neville, "I'm going to kill Fred, he told me we had to wrestle a troll." Clover wondered if the twins were really that convincing or if their brother was not all there, but didn't say anything. She saw Neville start to relax and it occurred to her Ron might have just made the story up in order to cheer Neville up.

Professor McGonagall walked forward with a large roll of parchment in her hands and said, "When I call your name, You will come forward and put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted." She looked down at the paper and called out loudly so the entire hall could hear, "Abbot, Hannah!"

A girl with blonde pigtails about an inch taller than Clover stumbled out of line and put on the hat, which fell down right over her eyes and sat down on the stool. There was a pause then –

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

McGonagall called out another student, "Bones, Susan!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Boot, Terry!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

Clover watched as the hat eventually decided to place "Broklehurst, Mandy" into Ravenclaw and wondered why the hat took so much longer to sort her than the first three. The next girl who stood a good six inches taller than Clover, also took a long time also before getting sent to Slytherin. Trying to puzzle out who would take longer to sort kept Clover occupied until she heard McGonagall call out, "Granger, Hermoine."

As Clover had suspected the hat took a few moments before shouting out, "GRYFFINDOR!" Clover had to resist the urge to step on Ron's foot when she heard him groan. He had no call for being so rude.

After Hermoine was seated McGonagall called up, "Greengrass, Daphne." The girl with pretty eyes from Diagon Alley walked up to the hat and sat it on her head carefully so it didn't fall.

The hall grew very quiet as the minutes drew on. Then Clover almost laughed when she realized what was going on. Daphne was arguing with the sorting hat. The girl obviously belonged in Gryffindor. Daphne had the gall to argue with what Hermoine had described as an ancient sentient artifact of in incredible magic while Clover could barely think straight from nerves. By the end almost ten minutes had passed and Daphne was clenching her teeth in irritation. Finally the hat shouted, "HUFFLEPUFF!" and the girl carefully sat the hat back on the stool before walking towards her new house.

More than a few people were startled by that proclamation. One boy with platinum blonde hair that was even lighter than Daphne's was gaping outright for a few seconds before snapping his mouth closed with a click.

Clover winced when she saw Neville trip on the way to the stool. The poor boy was too nervous for his own good. To her surprise the hat took almost as long to decide with Neville as Daphne, but eventually shouted, "HUFFLEPUFF!" He had an unreadable expression when he sat the hat back down on the stool and started off towards the table on the right.

Moments later the gaping blond was revealed to be "Malfoy, Draco" and was promptly sorted into Slytherin. He promptly went to join the two stocky first years he had been talking with earlier whose names Clover couldn't quite remember.

There weren't many people left in the line anymore. Clover thought she was going to die by the time McGonagall finally reached, "Potter, Harriet." Clover stepped forward.

Fred Weasley almost choked on his pumpkin juice when he saw who their 'new talent' was. Then a smile spread across his face. Fred spoke over his whispering housemates, "Brother mine?"

George nodded and they both raised their glasses in a good natured toast with a cry of, "New talent." McGonagall must have heard because she shot them a look that was half disapproving and half horrified.

The last thing Clover saw before the hat dropped over her eyes was everyone in the hall craning to get a good look at her. She briefly wished she could have kept the hat above her eyes like Daphne. Then a voice spoke in her head, "Hmm..."

"Hello, I liked your song."

"Why thank you, you are the first in ages to say that."

"So where would you like to be sorted?"

"I prefer to let the ancient artifact with centuries of experience make that decision."

"Well at least some of you have the proper sense of respect." A stray thought crossed Clover's mind and the hat replied to it, "No I won't tell you about it."

"So where should I go?"

"What about Slytherin? Your mental image of the crown you want when you are named empress of the world is very well done. Much better than a couple of the gaudy travesties I have had to witness over the years."

Clover felt her face heat up at that remark. "I was eight!" The hats mental chuckle was not reassuring. "So why did you suggest Slytherin instead of Hufflepuff?"

"Salazar would have appreciated your underdeveloped sense of fair play. Helga would be horrified."

"Sort me into Slytherin if you think it best."

"I see, your scared. You think its silly, but your still scared to be in the same house as the man who murdered you parents."

"...I'll still go if you think its best."

"And you think you don't have any Gryffindor traits."

"Then sort me."

The hat sighed. "You're very like Salazar, more so than anyone I can remember. That is why I think that he and Helga must be rolling in their graves, because your going to HUFFLEPUFF!"

A loud cheer filled the hall when the sorting hat shouted out the name of her house, but Clover was too distracted by trying to understand what the hat had told her. It took her a second to recover enough to stand and sit the sorting hat carefully on the bench before joining her new house.

The house of badgers was ecstatic. She had to shake more than one unfamiliar hand before she finally managed to sit down in the seat next to Daphne and Neville. Daphne smiled at her and asked, "Good to see you again Clover."

It took her a few moments to figure out why Neville was giving the pair of them strange looks before she realized why he was confused, "Its my middle name." The boy went red as a beet like he had made some mistake at the explanation.

"Ah, I'm sorry I didn't know."

She dismissed his unneeded apology. "No reason you should have." Another thought occurred to her. "I have no idea where Daphne picked it up honestly."

It was the blonde haired girls turn to blush. She spoke in a rush, "I remembered it from Madame Malkin's." Clover was grateful when the crowd around them fell silent for "Turpin, Lisa" to be sorted. She needed a moment to think about what the hat had told her without trying to make conversation. Ron Weasley had joined his brothers in Gryffindor before she had resolved to find out more about Salazar Slytherin, her muggleborn guide had only mentioned him in passing.

She eventually gave up the train of thought and turned her attention on the staff table. Each teacher seemed to be dressed more fantastically than the last. On the far right was the huge man that had lead them across the lake, Hagrid, and sitting next to him was one of the smallest adults that Clover had ever seen. She briefly wondered if he had sat next to Hagrid just for the strange contrast. Sitting next to him was a plump women in a brown robes with wild salt and pepper hair.

Talking to the plump women was a tall and thin lady in her late thirties who had her long brown hair woven into a braid which rested on her shoulder. In the center of the table was a very old man with a long silver beard sitting in a golden chair. Clover knew at once that he must be the famous Headmaster Albus Dumbledore. Next to him there was an empty chair left open for Professor McGonagall. Then there was a dark haired man with a great crook nose that seemed unhappy for some reason or another. Possibly because Professor Quirrel was sitting next to him in a preposterous looking purple turban. At the far left a very old man and lady were talking quietly.

After the last first year had been sorted into Slytherin Daphne quietly told her. "Hagrid the groundskeeper is the big man on the far left. The short old man is Flitwick, he teaches charms. Sitting next to him is our house head Professor Sprout who teaches Herbology. Next is Professor Vector, I don't know much about her besides that she teaches Arithmancy. Dumbledore is is our illustrious headmaster, father says he has too many positions to be good at any of them. The man in the black robes is Professor Snape, the head of Slytherin. He teaches Potions and I've heard that he's very strict. I think the one in the turban is this years defense professor. The old women on the left is Professor Babbling who is even older than Dumbledore. She teaches Ancient Runes. I think the old man must be the Muggle Studies teacher. Were missing the divination professor, the astrology professor and Madame Hooch, whatever her job is."

Clover muttered the professor's names under hear breath trying to take in everything Daphne said. When Daphne finished she was happy to offer a bit of her own information. "The one in the ugly purple turban is Professor Quirrell, he teaches defense against the dark arts."

"Thought so."

Neville asked in a strained voice, "Is the position really cursed?"

Before anyone could answer Professor Dumbledore stood and the hall instantly went silent. He head his arms wide and smiled down at the student body. His voice carried across the hall. "Welcome! Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words and they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"

"Thank you!"

Clover stared open mouthed as the headmaster bowed before sitting down. Her mouth closed with a click when Daphne spoke. "Don't let it fool you. Even father admits that he's incredibly crafty and powerful."

"Discussing the oddities our illustrious headmaster no doubt?" Another voice called out from behind them. Clover jerked around to see the semi-transparent form of the Fat Friar. She wondered what he wanted before dumbly remembering that he was their house ghost.

It took another moment for Clover to realize she was being rude. She gave the ghost a warm smile and said, "Hello Friar. How are you doing."

"I am afraid that I am quite dreadfully dead." Clover wasn't sure how to respond to that. Luckily the Friar continued, "But thank you for asking." The Friar adjusted himself into a more dignified pose before introducing himself properly. "I am the house ghost of Hufflepuff, Friar Tuck. Though many young Puff's prefer to call me the Fat Friar." He wrapped his hands around his ample waste and added, "Because I am rather fat you see."

Clover couldn't help but giggle at the ghosts exaggerated actions, which brought a warm smile to the ghosts face. "Do not hesitate to bring your problems to me. I am always available for everything from a confession to carousing." After completing his speech the Friar floated towards the other two new Hufflepuffs.

When Clover turned back around the table was filled with every kind of a food imaginable. There were normal things like roast beef, baked chicken, pork chops and lamb chops next to extraordinary things like a bowl of noodles which twisted together into a snake that snapped at nearby hands. Clover decided discretion was the better part of valor and picked out a small meal of chicken and vegetable medley. She did allow herself a small experiment with a glass of what Daphne claimed was pumpkin juice.

Pumpkin juice turned out to be a good choice. It had a strange but delicious taste, like apple juice mixed with cinnamon.

Daphne's plate was more exotic. She had a small pile of fruit that glowed strange colors sitting beside what looked like a piece of fish with small crystals jutting out of it haphazardly. Clover wondered if that was normal fare for wizards for a moment before she saw Neville giving Daphne's plate furtive glances.

She decided that Daphne just had strange tastes before going back to her own meal. Clover finished her meal early enough to send a few glances around the room before the food in front of them vanished. At the Gryffindor table Ron was sitting next to his brothers chatting amiably with a the ruffled ghost they had seen earlier. A glance at the Slytherin table made her giggle. The blonde haired boy, Draco Malfoy if Clover remembered correctly, was sitting next to a ghost covered in silver bloodstains. He looked like a small rodent caught by a cat.

Then the appearance of thousands of desserts drew her out of her observations. Clover ignored the pies and tarts in favor of a block of chocolate ice cream. Her sweet tooth immediately approved of her decision. She closed he eyes and took another bite; the ice cream was blissful.

It must have showed because when she opened her eyes Daphne was giving her a strange look. Clover felt her cheeks heat, but was saved from embarrassment when the headmaster stood again and spoke. "Now that you are all fed and watered, I have a few start-of-term notices to give you."

"First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils for your safety." He spared the Weasley twins a twinkling glance before continuing, "And a few older students would do well to remember that as well."

"I have been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors.

"Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madam Hooch.

"And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death."

Clover turned to Daphne just in time to hear her mutter, "Well that was easy."

Neville turned to them both and asked, "Do you think he's serious?" before Clover could decide how to respond to the blonde's comment.

Neville cowered a bit when they both turned to look at him. Clover felt bad for him so she gave him a smile before admitting, "I don't know."

Daphne's mouth drew into a small line and she said, "He is." Clover wondered what the blonde haired girl knew, but didn't want to upset the girl by asking.

Dumbledore waited a moment more for the message to sink in before pronouncing, "And now, before we go to bed, let us sing the school song!" Clover had to stifle a giggle as the other teachers smiles suddenly became very wooden.

He gave his wand a little flick and a long golden ribbon flew out of it and rose to the roof of the hall before twisting itself to spell out the words of the school song. Dumbledore gave a satisfied nod and cheered, "Everyone pick their own tune!"

What followed was not music. It was mayhem. Clover tried anyway, which earned her an eye roll from Daphne who refused to join in. To everyone's misfortune Neville didn't follow her example. The poor boy was so tone deaf that he couldn't follow a tuneless song.

Everyone finished the song at a different time until only the Weasley twins were left singing in a slow and deep funeral march. Dumbledore continued to demonstrate his warped taste in music with an exaggerated wipe to his eyes, as though the song had caused him to cry. He finally called out, "Ah, music! A magic beyond all we do here! And now, bedtime. Off you go."

A/N:

A bit shorter than I like, but I update this fic so rarely that I thought I should go ahead and post what I have.

House match ups are a bit different than normal. There are reasons for this besides my convenience.

I'm fairly sure that the Fat Friar is based on Friar Tuck from Robin Hood, so I made Tuck his real name. He can't be actually named fat...right?

I have no idea how pumpkin juice actually tastes. Its probably like V8, which I think is disgusting. So I picked a flavor I would actually like instead, reality can take a backseat to the author in this case.

For those of you waiting on the next chapter of Danzo's Team, who are probably irritated that this came out instead: It will be out in a week to a week in a half.

For those of you who wish I would spend more time on this instead: Sorry. Once I get to a certain breakpoint in Danzo's Team I may give it a bit of a break and finish at least the first year of this fic, but that breakpoint is at least 3 arcs away, so don't get too excited.

Man I really want to write that ZnTxHellsing crossover...