You stared out at the skyline, watching the beautiful sunset before you, drinking a heated chocolate drink, your hands tight around the cup, sitting on the balcony of the dwelling you had been residing in for the past ten years as you thought over what your life had altered over time. It was something you always seemed to wind up doing of late; having gotten used to doing so after a passionate encounter.

At first you had decided to do such to make Loki feel the betrayal and agony you had felt, to make right somehow the injustices he had done to you in any way possible. It also made you feel desirable and attractive again after the severe blow to your confidence. Men had been willing, Vanaheim had more than it's fair share of attractive and virile men, but it still did not take away the emptiness you felt when you were alone.

Often as you bathed, your hand would unconsciously rub where the Threyja mark had previously been located on your chest, and your eye would often fall to your once again flat stomach, which showed no signs that you had ever been a mother. You had cried many nights holding your abdomen, missing the little flutters of magic and the little kicks of the baby you had carried within. The baby the Norn's so cruelly wished to have returned to them before he was ever born, all because of what his father did. Loki.

The idea of the act between him and Lorelei played over and over in your mind. You could not escape it, any time your mind was left too idle; it would seep in, his hands on her body, the pleasure you knew he could bestow causing gasps and moans to escape her mouth, not yours. The nightmares were worse, in them you were always tied to the bed, in agony as once more you birthed your son, all the while being forced to watch them perform lewd acts on one another uncaringly as the torturous pain crippled you. It was a common occurrence for you to wake drenched in sweat, even now.

The one thing you realised was that the night's you sought and found a willing partner; the nightmares were not as common. So when the thoughts of revenge no longer interested you, you continued the pattern, if just to end the fear of sleep.

There were also the times you found yourself thinking thoughts of what could have been, those often hurt more than reality. Loki's arms around your rotund middle, kissing your cheek as he stated he could not wait to introduce your second child to your first. You swallowed hard as the vision came to you once more; you shuddered when a movement close to you on the balcony startled you. Looking around, you gave a small smile when you realised Thor somehow came to be standing nearby. "It has been a while."

"It has." He agreed. "I am sorry to disturb you." He looked around the balcony. "May I speak with you on a matter?"

"Looking for something?" You asked, as he came closer to you.

He rubbed his neck awkwardly. "Well…"

You smiled knowingly. "No, there is no one else here." You informed him.

Thor frowned slightly. "How are you?"

"I have been better." It was the truth, even the best day now was nothing compared to the life you had before it happened. "What of you? I hear congratulations are in order. I know that you and Sif will be happy, you deserve one another."

"I am well thank you, and I thank you for your kind words." Thor stated in a monotone, which told you he was dancing around why he was standing there in front of you. "Sif misses your company."

"So she states in her letters." In truth, you had missed her too. Her letters were something you always felt somewhat pleased to receive, and made you miss Asgard in some manner. She always avoided any mention of Loki, which had helped slightly.

"She has voiced her wish to have you there for the wedding." Thor pressed carefully.

You shifted uncomfortably; she had asked such of you several times in several letters, she asked, pleaded and even begged for your return for the occasion, but in each response, you had actively ignored said requests. "So that is the reason for your coming here? It is upon her request?"

"No, Sif has no idea that I am here, and before you suggest otherwise, she always did everything to ensure no one but she ever read the correspondence between you, though I do ask for you when I have realised that you have written."

"So this is a solo mission then?"

"In a matter of speaking; I wish for my wife-to-be to be happy on our big day, and your being there would most certainly increase the likelihood of such."

You looked away sadly. "I can't."

"Because of Loki?" You flinched visibly. Even now, his name had the power to hurt you so deeply. "You need not worry." You looked at Thor with a frown. "Loki has retired from public life. He does not leave his rooms, day or night." No matter what, he does not leave." Part of your mind, the cold heartless part that was created as a result of him, rejoiced in that knowledge. "He also never healed properly from the injuries you gave him, be it as a result of the magic you used, or of his own lack of concern after your leaving, but they irk him still. But he accepts it all, because of everything with…" Thor indicated to his chest where the Threyja mark would be located on Loki. "Without anything other than pained acceptance."

"It is his own doing." You growled.

"Do you still hold such anger that you wish for him to continue to feel such agony?" There was no judgement in Thor's voice, just curiosity.

Truthfully, you did not; not because you felt he had suffered enough, but because you had finally accepted that it would not bring your son back. You just shook your head.

"What he did, I understand your anger, and your heartache, but surely you cannot continue to allow it to consume you, it will fester until you are ill beyond healing if you do so. Don't let their actions take your life also."

"He would be walking by now, toddling around unsteadily." You commented.

"Do not do this, do not think such thoughts, they will destroy you from the inside out."

"His hair was dark, as dark as a moonless night, but in my dreams, I see him with my eyes." You continued as though you had not heard him.

Thor looked at you, scared. You were nothing but a shadow of your former self. The actions of the past had broken and crushed the happy and easy going woman who had married his brother, in her stead, was an emotionless shell, tortured by your lost son. "You need to come home." He placed an arm around you to comfort you.

"I cannot return there."

"You need to take your life back." Thor looked to the skies. "Do you have anything essential you require bringing with you immediately, or can it all be brought by servants?" Part of him already knew the answer. You had brought nothing with you the day you had left Asgard but the clothes you adorned, and the state you were currently in told him you did not hold anything as valuable or sentimental. "Heimdall!"

You had not used the Bifrost in the decade since your departure and seeing it again did not cause you to feel any modicum of joy. The look on the Guardian's face when you passed him that night you had fled was as stoic as it always was, but even he could not hide the sympathy and pity in his eyes. Arriving back at Asgard's entrance, his expression was just as solemn, the pity still present. He knew all, he saw all, and could see that your life was still marred by the pain that continued to torture you. "Allfather." He bowed to Thor. "Your Highness." He turned to you.

"I am no longer married into the royal family; there is no need for such titles with me." You commented plainly.

"Your marriage still stands, ergo, I must use it." The guardian countered.

Shocked by the revelation, you turned to Thor. "You left the realm without making any official requests through the court, and Loki has imprisoned himself in the confines of his rooms, so neither of you did anything to dissolve you marriage, so yes, technically, you are still the princess of Asgard."

"Consider it the first order of business when court convenes in the morn."

"Court is adjourned until after the wedding I fear." Thor rubbed his neck awkwardly.

"Thor…"

"You have waited this long, a few days more surely will not be too taxing."

"I was blissfully ignorant to that fact before now. Why has it not been forced? Is he not required to…provide…Has his precious harlot not given him a son?" Saying that sentence killed you a little inside.

Thor scoffed. "In what manner do you think he could be forced? After what…He wants nothing to do with any being. Mother was the only one he would speak any little bit with for some time, now he does not even acknowledge her. Any time I go to see him, he just stares ahead of himself, awaiting the next bout of pain." Thor explained.

If it was his plan to make you feel any bit of guilt, it was not working; and to his surprise, Thor realised such too. "I am quite tired, I best get to the city." You responded, as though simply bored. Thor watched as you began to walk over the Bifrost Bridge, indifferent to your surroundings.

X

Loki winced as he felt the mark on his chest begin to prickle slightly, and prepared himself for the agony he was certain was coming once more. He had not realised the Bifrost had been used, having not had his curtains open in well over a year; instead, he simply stared at the fire in front of him. When the pain did not come, he looked down at his chest, where the Threyja mark still marked his skin, wondering why it was behaving in the manner it was doing so. He looked around the room as though he was just seeing it in its very dishevelled state for the first time. Something was very different he realised, he was just unsure what that was.