"Do you think she looks pale?" Jacob murmured as Charlie stepped up beside him.

The two men watched Connie drift by before taking the stairs up out of the E.D.

"I've tried talking to her...maybe you might have more look." Charlie thought out loud.

"Why is it people keep saying that?" Jacobs brow creased as he turn to regard the older man. "All she's done is push me away...when things got tuff...at times when you'd think we'd be closer..." He shuck his head. "...she'll never admit to needing someone."

"Doesn't mean we should give up on her though." Stated charlie simply.

Jacob was left with his own thoughts as he went about the rest of his shift. He didn't want to give up on her but what choice did he have if she wouldn't talk about what was going through her mind.

Every now and again he would pass a curious eye over her office that remained empty for hours.

Connie sat at her desk, unblinking, dazed. In a world of her own as the busy E.D rushed by outside, oblivious to their clinical leads turmoil.

"Connie?"

The sound of her name brought her back from the numb confusion she had been caught in.

"Connie?" Charlie hoovered around to the side of her desk with tentative steps. "Are you alright?"

"What?" The clinical lead looked at charlie puzzled by his presence.

"This place has been running at a hundred miles an hour for weeks...and nobodies stopped to ask if your okay..." Charlie regarded her. "...are you okay?" He asked noting her sadness and the tears welling in her eyes she tried to fight of.

"I'm fine charlie." The smile she gave him was weak and not fooling anyone but she composed herself just like she always did. A picture of serenity. A steely calm façade for the world to see.

"Its been a long day..." She confirmed as she stood up. "...was there something you needed?"

"No...like I said...I was just showing some concern..." He held up his hands as mock surrender before she could even utter her favorite saying. "...but your fine...I know." The smile he gave her was a genuine one.

The two of them left her office but as soon as charlie was out of sight Connie steadied herself on the nurses station. The world around her blurred and the sounds of the E.D faded in favour of a ringing in her ears.

She gripped the counter top trying to cling on to her composure.

"It's okay..." Came Jacob's voice floating around her. "...I've got you."

A strong arm around her waist supported her weight as she became disoriented. He steered her away to the safety of her office and away from the on lookers that had gathered.

"Feeling better?" Asked Jacob as he took the empty mug from her hands.

Connie nodded. "Thanks."

"Do you want to talk about what happened out there?" He pressed moving to sit down beside her. "You should really get checked over."

"I'm fine." She chanted again as if saying it over and over again would make it true.

she took in her surroundings of her office, processing the events that had led her here. "I'm fine."

"Your not!" Snapped Jacob and he instantly regretted it. "Please Connie...I'm not asking you to talk to me if you don't want to...just...please let someone check you over."

Connie studied him. "I'm doing it again aren't I? Pushing? I just don't know how to do this."

He took her hand in his and sat patiently waiting for her to sort through her thoughts.

"I'm scared Jacob..." She murmured as she her grip tightened around his. "...I've been for some tests."

Jacobs heart pounded in his chest as listened to what she was saying. He delicate balance he had found began to crumble.

"I'm waiting on the results of a biopsy." Tears dripped from her eyes landing on their joined hands.

She wiped them away as she braced herself to continue the only way she new how.

"I've been suffering from excessive dyspnea during exercise...chest pain...Presyncope...I have..." Connie cleared her throat. "...I have a mass...a cardiac tumor... I'm waiting to find out if its malignant." She finished quickly, panicking as she said it out loud for the first time.

Jacob had no words, he pulled her into his side, stroking his hand up and down her back trying to sooth her. Trying to process what he'd been told, giving himself chance to pull himself together and be strong for her.

"How long have you been dealing with this yourself...why didn't you come to me?...your not alone Connie... I'm here...I've got you."

A few minutes passed and he felt Connie shift.

She sat up, wiped the tears from her face and took a deep breath. In that instant the vulnerable woman he held in his arms was gone.

"I need to work..." She stood slowly. "...thanks for this but...I'd appreciate you keeping it to yourself... No one else knows."

"Connie..." Jacob tried.

He did know what to say.

He was desperate to give her some kind words that would help her, make her feel better, to comfort her. But the truth was, there wasn't any.

He felt her agony. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right.

"...please...don't try and do this alone..." He stood and enveloped her, holding her to him. "...let me in." He begged.

She gave him a small uncertain nod before she pulled away straightening her top. "Time to get back to work Charge Nurse Masters." She pointed to the door.

Jacob accepted his dismissal. "But you'll let me know when..." He paused. "...if you need me?"

"Please don't fuss Jacob... I can't cope with being fussed over." She pleaded with him to understand.

He nodded solemnly and left her office.

*To Be Continued*