"Do you think our daughter is really with Jen?" Tara's voice broke the silence. Jax's hauntingly beautiful blue eyes stared at his wife. They lay side by side, naked, drenched from yet another soul-wrenching lovemaking session. With only a bare whisper of a sheet covering them, a moment of silence seemed to answer her. The windows were open, and the sound of cicadas reverberated in their ears.
"Of course she is," Jax replied. "Why would Opie lie to us?"
Tara laughed. The sound was half harsh, half amused. She rolled on her back and stared at the blades of the ceiling fan as it spun. June in North Carolina was almost inhumanely hot, but not the same way Charming was. Charming had a dry, thin heat; the tiny town of Silver Spring, North Carolina was always drenched in humidity. Jax didn't seem bothered by it, but Tara always dreaded the summer.
"She'd lie to us because she's eighteen and horny," Tara said laughingly, but when she glanced at Jax, she stopped. His face was a mask of mortification.
"She's not having sex," Jax said quietly. Tara wanted to laugh again, but the seriousness of his voice stopped her. "The girls are not having sex."
"Seriously Jax?" Tara's voice bordered on annoyance. "Where the hell was this attitude when I caught Abel banging Hannah up at the cabin?" Tara's cheeks lit with fire at the memory.
The cabin was a lot like the one the club frequented, just in a different setting. The small three bedroom, one bath cabin was nestled within the crook of the Appalachians. Tara made sure it was simply but tastefully decorated, and some of the smaller things from the old cabin were scattered about. It was her sanctuary, really, this small mountain world. She could pretend she was in Charming, and she just needed that sometimes.
That day was the end of a particularly bad week. Cranky customers and pain in the ass mechanics had taken their toll on Tara; she missed stitching people back together. She missed making hearts beat again. Her soul ached from not saving lives. She just wasn't the kind of woman that was meant to save cars, and it made her insane that no one seemed to care about her sadness. To add to her sorrow was the anniversary of the day they'd left Charming. It loomed on the calendar and on her soul. She missed that middle-of-nowhere town more than she'd imagined. She thought no one noticed her pain.
Jax noticed. He'd seen the agony in her eyes, heard the sorrow in her voice. Every night that week, she was in bed just after the kids, her back turned to him. It amazed him at how she missed their tiny, dirt covered town. Aside from the brothers of SAMCRO, he didn't think of Charming. For him, the place was always made by the people, not the other way around. Still, he knew that in Charming, Tara had her work. She had her memories, and even if many of them were bad, they were still hers. By that point, they'd been in Silver Springs for thirteen years, and for Tara, it never quite felt like home.
He'd swept into the shop that morning, two dozen white roses in hand. Dressed in jeans and a flannel, he looked so much like the Jax she fell in love with. She couldn't help but cry, but she smiled through her tears as he took her in his arms.
"Oh Jax," she sobbed. "You knew."
"How could I not, babe?" he questioned. "You're everything. You and those kids. Everything."
They broke apart for a moment. She stared at him. All the agony she felt, the soul-sapping monotony of everyday life, it was worth it. To have a man like Jax Teller, even if the world knew them as Eric and Elizabeth Morgan, was completely worth it. She brushed his lips with hers. Even the harsh, burly
"C'mon, I have a surprise for you." Jax grinned as he spoke. His eyes lit up, and his happiness was infectious. Tara would have followed wherever Jax Teller led. She always had. He grabbed her hand and pulled her along. She giggled as they stepped out into the cool, autumn sunshine. When Jax stopped, Tara gasped at the surprise.
"Oh my God," she whispered.
The 2003 Harley-Davidson Dyna Super Glide Sport glimmered in the golden sunshine. All black and glossy, outfitted with black pipes and accessories, it was a near identical replica of Jax's old bike. Only the SAMCRO reaper was missing. Tara's lips trembled as she stared at it. Memory after memory ebbed and flowed within her, and she welcomed it all. Sometimes, she forgot what it was like to feel.
"Did you—" Tara began.
"No, I just rented it for the day," he replied. "Let's go."
"But the guys—"
"Can handle it. They've known about this all week." Jax smiled broadly. He had every base covered.
Jax didn't have to say more. With bright, excited eyes, they ran to the bike like the kids they once were. Jax cranked it, and they rushed off. The cabin was less than hour away, and they got there easily. Once the reached their destination, Tara visibly relaxed. She slid off the bike and followed Jax inside. Hand-in-hand, they entered the cabin. They were barely through the threshold when they heard the music. Slow, undulating bass pulsated against the walls. Tara looked over at Jax, but he'd already began his approach on the bedrooms. Tara followed, but he'd already gotten a few paces ahead of her.
"What the hell?!" Jax bellowed. The question was punctuated with a female scream. When Tara got the bedroom door Jax just opened, she saw the reason for her husband's incredulous state.
"Dad! I – " Abel's voice echoed over the music. Tara gaped at the scene that was unfolding before her. Abel, all six-foot-two of him, lay on their bed, naked, barely covered by the sheets. His girlfriend, Hannah, lay next to him. Her dark hair was a mass of disheveled waves. For a moment, Tara saw she and Jax in bed. It didn't matter. Lit with fury, Tara lunged past Jax and entered the room.
"What the hell are you doing, Abe—Adam?!" Damn, her brain yelled. It never failed. When she was angry enough, the kids' real names threatened to roll of her tongue. Deflecting the mistake, she turned to the young girl at Abel's side. "Hannah, really?"
"Mrs. Morgan, I am so—I didn't think I-I mean-" Hannah stammered.
"You couldn't just fuck in the car?" she shouted. "I mean, isn't that what teenagers do?"
"Mom, I didn't think you'd be here!" Abel returned.
"Obviously," Tara shot back. "Obviously, you weren't fucking thinking."
"I'm sorry—" Abel said. His pale blue eyes were downcast in shame.
"Just get dressed," Tara ordered. She pivoted on her heel and left the room. Jax followed.
"Babe—" Jax called. He grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. "Babe, stop."
"No!" Tara yelled back. "I won't stop! He's banging a girl in our bed!"
"He's eighteen," Jax excused. "He's technically a grown up. As is Hannah. It's perfectly natural. And normal."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" she screeched. "You're saying this is okay? Fucking a girl in our bed is alright with you?"
"It's strange, because he's our kid, but it's not wrong, Tara," Jax stated. "Cut him some slack."
The memory faded away now as Tara looked at her shell-shocked husband. In the end, Tara listened to Jax and made them apologize for their sneakiness, but there were no punishments. As much as she'd hated it then, she knew Jax, to a degree, was right.
That's what didn't make sense to her. It was alright for Abel to have sex because he was a consenting adult, but now that it was one of Jax Teller's precious daughters, teenage sex was a problem. His eyes were huge and sad, and while she wanted to feel bad for him, her frustration wouldn't let it happen.
"Doesn't feel too natural now does it?" Tara said softly. Jax shook his head and rolled away from her. Flipping his legs over the side of the bed, he stood. Tara sighed. The long line of his back was beautiful, even it was covered in scars. Tonight was the kind of night that made Tara ache with sadness, and her husband's back only punctuated the emotion. The Sons of Anarchy tattoo had been gone since they'd entered the Program. The removal was to protect them; if his tattoo had been seen by the wrong person, questions would arise, and they couldn't afford for them to.
"No, it doesn't," Jax said through clenched teeth. "But they're girls; it's different." Jax pulled on sweatpants and sat back down on the bed. He looked ahead, as if there was some ghost in front of him.
"How different is it, Jackson?" Tara asked. "Because to me, and to our girls, it's a double standard. It's that same bullshit club mentality I used to deal with. Women have the same right as any man to love someone. Boy or girl, it doesn't matter."
He knew Tara was right: it was a double standard he imposed on his kids. If Opie was sneaking out and sleeping with someone, she was doing it as a legal adult, not as a little girl. By Fall, Opie would be off to college, free from he and Tara. While it was a hard realization, he knew it was a necessary one.
"When did our kids grow up, Tara?" he asked without looking at her.
"I don't know, Jax," she returned. "I feel like we blinked, and they're adults. It's almost too much sometimes." Jax didn't speak after that. He just stared into the distance. Tara's heart broke for him, because she knew what he was thinking.
What the fuck do I do now? She'd voiced it, felt it, thought it, but Jax had always been the accepting one. It was strange to have the tables turn on her. Silently, she crept across the bed and kissed his shoulder, then the tip of his scars. She grasped his hand and brought it to her lips. Jax turned and faced her. The sheet swished to Tara's waist, and her still firm breasts were completely visible. Jax turned and circled her waist with his arms. She pressed against him and pulled his body tighter still.
It amazed Jax how much her desired her, even now. A kiss from her could make him forget everything, even Opie's virginity, or more importantly, the lack of it.
If Jax could peek into his daughter's world, he'd be devastated to see the answer to his ever-intuitive wife's question. He'd see Opie laying on the banks of the Silver River, Lucius Everett atop her. He would see the small blanket spread beneath them. He'd see her clothes strewn along the dirt. He'd see her legs wrapped around Lucius, begging for more. He'd hear the rhythmic moans and the whispered I love yous. Lucius and Ophelia were oblivious to anyone's worry. Nothing else made sense in that moment. The only thing that mattered was the melding of their bodies and souls.
But Jax was in his own blissful world, content to make love to the only woman he'd ever given his heart to. As Tara cried out his name, everything was forgotten, and only his love for Tara remained. He'd worry about his questions tomorrow; for now, he was content gazing upon Tara's face, realizing that's all he needed to make his soul right again.