I gracefully and silently stepped down the stairs, taking them one at a time. I was trying to prepare myself for the scent of humans, apologizing to my boss, and the burning sensation. It was time to start anew. I kept telling myself that, over and over again. It would get better with time. I could do this. I took in a deep breath and held it as I walked into the silver kitchen, the cooks were busy and tipped their heads at me to signal they'd seen me.
I did the same as I stepped out of the kitchen to go find my boss and asked where I'd be serving. I spotted him at the far end of the pink ceramic counter top and speed walked towards him, he turned slowly and looked me up and down as usual.
"Catharin. I see you're back." He spoke slowly as he continued to let his eyes linger on my bust. I could feel the hair raise off my arm but ignored it.
"I am. Which side am I assigned, sir?" I tried to get back to business as he seemed to get distracted.
"How was the family business? Tell me about it." He motioned to a booth next to another containing a pale gentleman with honey coloured hair and a ramrod straight posture. He was looking out the window at the dark and dreary rain clouds. I was briefly reminded of Jasper but pushed the thought out of my head, every man with curly hair reminded me of him and he was gone. I sighed and followed the perverted human male to the booth.
"It was...morose, sir." I replied uneasily, I'd have to take in a breath soon. He nodded quickly, eyes still on my chest.
"How so?" He asked sounding just as distracted as the first time.
"I visited my dead husband and child's grave sites, sir." I lost my patience with him slightly and snapped at him on the end. My boss looked shocked for a second before looking away to recover and cleared his throat awkwardly as he stood.
"Right. Well. I'm sorry for your loss, Catharin. You'll have the booths." I stood too, nodding at his statement as he turned to walk away. It was empty and we both knew it. Humans were such useless and cruel creatures, why did they bother to say half of what they do when they never meant it?
"Me too, sir." I took in a breath to speak and paused for a second...there was the oddest sweet smell coming from the diner's patrons. It smelled like one of my kind, I tried to smell myself covertly as I picked up a menu for the pale gentleman and the older couple behind him. It seemed my waitress counter part, Bettie, refused to serve him earlier so he simply said he'd wait. I walked closer to him and decided to stop breath lest I ruined the streak of no death I'd had going.
"Hi there sir, welcome to Peggy Sue's Diner and Eatery. Do you know what you'd like to drink?" I let the words stream out quickly and waited for a "What?" or an "Excuse me?" from the odd human as I stared down at my pad of paper. Usually I spoke too fast for a human ear to pick up, it was a game to me.
"Sir?" I questioned as I decided to finally look down at the man. We made eye contact and I stared open mouthed for what I'm sure was minutes but felt like a second.
It was him. He was alive. Why didn't he come back? Why was he here? Did he have a wife now? How did that happen? I had so many questions that I just continued to stare at his now red eyes, pale skin, chiseled jaw and honey blonde curly hair. He looked just as shocked as I.
"Catharin?" I felt my mouth drop down even lower as I heard him whisper my name in awe, surprise, and little bit of happiness. It was like suddenly I was even more discombobulated with my emotional span. It went from all the happiness to sadness to regret to shock.
"Jasper?" I whispered back as I stared at him.
"Can we talk?" He stood quickly and just watched me as I watched him in front of me.
"A-after my shift." I replied as he took my hand softly. I was still almost a little angry with him. He'd disappeared when he promised to come back to me. Even his letters had stopped, I couldn't tell if he'd died or simply moved on.
"I understand, darlin'. I'll take a black coffee." He squeezed my hand softly and let it drop as he nodded with his face going back to an emotionless yet pained state. He sat back down with a thumph, it was unnecessarily loud for our kind. I moved onto the old couple with a renewed invigoration, even going so far as to smile at them.
All through out my shift, I moved quickly but also very much distracted. I kept glancing at Jasper, he seemed to just be watching me move around the diner. Every time I looked up, he was watching. He'd aged not physically but mentally, his eyes spoke volumes of untold horrors. I looked at him more and more, especially at his once clear and tanned skin. It was now absolutely covered in scars, spaced most thickly together on his neck and jaw. They were from teeth like my own, it seemed but humans could probably only see the larger ones.
No matter, my reason to live seemed to have come back to me, but I was also incredibly nervous he'd tell me he'd missed me and then introduce me to his wife. The thought had my chest feel like it was breaking again.
I was even more nervous when my shift ended finally and Jasper was waiting for me, outside. I was just hoping to god that it wasn't obvious on my face or posture. I tried to remain relaxed and carefree as we walked silently down the dark empty streets.
"Catharin, I...I just wanted to say I'm sorry." He spoke quickly and sounded worried. I paused at this.
"For?" I asked slowly, searching for something he'd done to me or was about to do.
"For not being there when I promised you I would be. I got back to base and told all my buddies about this women I'd met. This beautiful and kindly Catharin. I was going to ask you to marry me after the war but..." He recounted and turned to me, taking my hands as he spoke even faster now.
I stood shocked at the fact that he'd want to marry someone as barren and empty as me. Especially after only speaking for a short while an maintaining letters as our sole communication for 5 years. I watched his face relax enough to show me a small sad smile as he thought back to our communications.
"But? What happened?" I asked getting involved and leaning closer to try and get an answer out of the man. He looked down at the ground, taking in deep breaths.
"I was...changed. To be like you, Catharin. A woman named Maria and two others changed me for their wars. I kept sending the letters when I could, I figured you were just like me that way, but she...she said you were gone." He finished with a heart broken look on his face, like I'd shot his wife in front of him. I stood shocked for a second.
"But then where did the letters go?" I asked and tilted my head at him.
"It appears she was keeping them. I was a lot crueler without the thought you were alive and well. I lost hope. It made me a better pawn for her wars. You'd have been appalled and shamed by me." He replied darkly, putting a hand to my cheek. I reached up and touched his hand softly, he met my eyes before looking down at the ground. It was obvious that he was ashamed himself.
"Its okay. I understand and I forgive you." I replied just as softly as before. I wasn't bold enough to kiss him but I was definitely thinking about it. He looked back at and shook his head.
"Cat, love. You don't understand all the things I've done. I thought you were dead and gone as in forever." He bellowed, sounding angry at first then just sad. Though I felt it was more with himself than me mostly because he used the nickname he'd pulled up when I managed to have a spelling error in my own name. I jumped as he punched the brick wall next to us and left a hole behind.
I went up and pecked him on the lips with little else as an idea of what to do to calm him and let him know I truly did forgive him. When I did it seemed like an old photograph was taking place, he froze and stared forward for a bit before he touched his lips slowly.
"I understand, Jasper. I thought the same of you. When your letters stopped coming...well...I gave up. I wondered the country looking for some meaning in something." I shrugged and looked away, feeling like I'd over stepped some invisible boundary between us. I didn't even know if he was single or even interested.
"Did you remarry?" I heard him whisper it sounding almost accusatory, before I looked up to see him emotionless again and watching me. He was analyzing for any sort of lie, I'd guessed.
"No." I responded earnestly. I'd been waiting for something or someone to come along and give me meaning again. It seemed like he was the only that could. He growled and stepped forward heavily. The look he had made me nervous he thought I was lying.
"You're lying. I HEARD YOU TELL HIM YOU'D VISITED YOUR DEAD HUSBAND WHEN I WAS WAITING FOR YOU." He locked me in against the wall as I took several steps backwards. I felt the brick crumble and the dust land over my shoulder and hair as I shook my head.
"He died nearly 100 years ago, Jasper! I told you when I first ever met you that I'd lost my child and home!" I screamed back at him, just as angry as he seemed to be. I could feel my body begin to shake with poison tears leaking out of my eyes. He opened his mouth to say something else before he tilted his head and looked rather confused.
"You're...crying. I've made you cry." His words rang out with disbelief and shock. It was like he couldn't believe I'd cry over something he'd said. I shrugged and tried to wipe them away when he stopped my hands, instead wiping them away with his thumbs. He pulled my head forwards gently as he kissed the crown and enveloped me into a hug.
"I'm sorry, Cat. I just...I get so lost in emotions sometimes. I mean my whole ability is just emotions in general but I still get caught up. I just...I love you so much and for so long and the thought that you'd moved on when I just got you back...I just got real angry real quick." He explained sadly into my head as I nodded in response, wrapping my arms around his waist. I'd been waiting for this for nearly 90 years, all the love letters and notes back and forth, the smiles and the laughter, the pain and the tears all led up to this moment.
"I love you too." I replied as I pulled back and looked up at him. His scarred face had relaxed again, this time looking happier than when I'd known him as a human. He let go of me and leaned down, pulling my face towards his. I closed my eyes and felt his lips press against mine for the first real time ever.
It was a soft and innocent kiss shared between long time lovers. Jasper pulled back and held out his hand for me to take and I did, happily. For the first time in 90 years, I felt happy and at peace. I didn't care where we went, I just wanted to spend it with him.