***So clearly I suck. Sorry it took forever! But yay! Finally writing again!***

Axel was staring at the popsicle stick Roxas had left on his windowsill. He'd found it after Roxas had left the Organization. The stick had the word "winner" written across it. Axel smiled at the irony. He had lost everything. It almost felt like Roxas was teasing him with this last gift. Questions kept repeating in his brain. Was the person he met in Twilight Town really Roxas? Or was the real one off somewhere else? And how would he know if that were the case?

Yet, Axel had watched Roxas and his friends eat sea-salt ice cream on the clock tower at dusk. That had to be because of me, he thought. There was no way Roxas would have discovered that location on his own – and with the ice cream and the time of day. Axel desperately hoped Roxas was trying to recreate their memories together. The clock tower was important – it was where they'd had their deepest conversations, where they'd first kissed.

Axel had put the popsicle stick at the bottom of a drawer. He meant to never look at it again, but he always knew it was there. Axel shut the drawer and sat on the side of his bed.

So if this new Roxas wasn't quite who he remembered, why did he still want to be with him so much? It wasn't that he liked him really, but he wanted to get under his skin a little, make him feel a little guilty for not remembering Axel – or something like that.

He heard Demyx's timid knock on the door. Characteristically, Demyx did not hesitate to peek inside.

"Er, Axel? Xemnas is looking for you. Or, the Organization is, they want a meeting with you." Axel didn't move. That was the last thing he wanted to hear.

Demyx stood awkwardly, waiting. "I don't know why they always make me do this kind of thing – be the messenger. They think it's all I'm good for! Well, I mean, maybe it is," he conceded. "It's better than battling heartless, I guess. Don't get me wrong. I'm good at fighting, a great fighter really, I just don't like it."

"Why do you think the rest of the Organization wants to speak to me right now?"

"Oh come on! You know! They want to talk to you about what happened with Roxas today!" Axel stood up. "Axel, be careful. I think they want you to do something bad to him."

"That might not be the worst thing that could happen, you know." He saw the astonished look on Demyx's face. "What if I have to destroy this Roxas to get the other, real one back? It's just something I've been thinking about. Maybe they aren't the same," he said, but he knew he wouldn't do it. Sometimes he just liked to make Demyx nervous. It was a bad habit – spoke to the fact that Axel still didn't have a heart.

"You can't be sure of that. You could end up killing the real Roxas, if you tried that." "Maybe."

"Don't get so crazy on me all the time, Axel. I'm worried about you. And Roxas."

"Do you want to see him then?"

"No."

"Why not? Are you afraid I'm right about him?"

"Who else do you think he could be?"

Axel sighed. "I don't know. We'll drop it for now Demyx. I'll go to this meeting and then I'll go to see him."

"Go see Roxas?"

Axel wasn't in the mood to respond. He left the room without a word.

He went to the tall white room where the Organization meetings were always held. He usually dreaded them – horribly boring, but Roxas had made them better when he was there. Axel smiled thinking of it. Roxas had been terrified of heights, and Axel had watched him fidget while trying to avoid looking at the ground. Roxas always tried so hard to pay attention. Axel, on the other hand, rarely bothered.

Then Axel remembered, more dangerously, what they had done after meetings – flirted, ended up in Roxas's room, seduction flowing both ways. He recalled the kissing, clothes coming off, bliss, and sleeping with Roxas in his arms. Roxas had been the only thing that could cure Axel's insomnia.

"Axel!" Xemnas pulled Axel out of his reverie. Axel glared at him. Xemnas was clearly upset – nothing new about that.

Axel slowly sat on his chair. He looked at Roxas's empty one and turned to Xemnas. "Alright, alright. Let's start the show!"

-0-

Axel's blood was racing. He was furious. He wished he could jump out of his chair and punch Xemnas in the face, but he needed Xemnas to trust him, so he had to stay calm.

Xemnas had just suggested that he kill Roxas. What had happened to the plan where he brought Roxas safely back? "Wait a second. Isn't it a bit early for that?"

"It's an order. Why are you hesitating? Aren't you the one who deals judgment upon those who disobey the Organization?"

Axel squirmed. It was true. He'd killed traitors in the past. "He hasn't turned his back on us! He's just… unable to come back yet!" It was a weak excuse, he knew. He could sense the members of the organization losing patience with him. What could he do?

"If he doesn't come back, he must pay the price. If you oppose these orders, you'll be the one to pay."

Didn't he know that already? He knew it too well. And if Axel died, Roxas didn't stand a chance. He watched as Xemnas summoned the electric light that Axel knew could transform nobodies into dusks. Axel looked on nervously, trying to pretend he didn't care. It didn't quite work.

"Turning me into a Dusk, eh... Fine, I got it! I'll do it! I'll do it!"

He knew he couldn't. He arrived back in his room and looked at himself in the mirror. Confidence returned. You'll find a way, Axel. You always do right? Only he isn't so sure this time.

-0-

Axel decided to return to Roxas's Twilight Town that night. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep until he did anyway. Plus, Xemnas wouldn't notice his absence now. Axel knew he was probably making plans about how to best destroy Axel – probably giving someone the orders right now.

Axel knew he had to find Roxas and get him to come back immediately before either of them could be damaged – no matter what it took.

He found Roxas, easily, sitting on the ledge of the clock tower. It was completely dark outside. He wondered why Roxas was even awake. Roxas clearly didn't hear him approaching, so Axel cleared his throat. Roxas turned, looking a bit startled.

"What are you doing here, Roxas? And so late? Tsk, tsk. Isn't it past your bedtime?" His tone was condescending. He couldn't talk normally. He knew he should act quickly, but the urge to take it slow pulled him back. He sat on the ledge, near Roxas, but not too close. He wanted to get to know him – test him out, and see if this was the same Roxas he remembered so well.

"C'mon Roxas! Don't give me the cold shoulder."

Roxas stood up and turned to him. "I don't know who you are. I'm sorry – if I'm supposed to remember, but I don't."

Axel looked at him intently. He thought about asking the obvious questions "Don't you remember being here with me? Do you remember when we kissed here? Anything? At all?"

Roxas was staring at him, but when Axel glanced back, Roxas quickly looked away. Axel could see him blushing slightly in the pale lights of the clock tower, the sleepy town below them. Not a real town, he reminded himself, but it looks so beautiful. Axel thought he could almost feel it – the beauty, and the satisfaction he got from making Roxas blush.

"I was your best friend, Roxas. You still don't remember, eh?"

"No, well, I-"

Roxas didn't finish his sentence so Axel proceeded. "Who is your best friend then? Is it that Seifer character?"

"No way! He-he's mean to my friends."

Axel was unconvinced, but why would Roxas lie? "But you like him, don't you?" Axel smirked. Secretly, he was terrified of the answer, but he wouldn't let it show.

"No, I like Olette," Roxas says blandly. "She's my girlfriend."

Axel stared at Roxas, shocked. This could not be the Roxas he knew. Or maybe it was him, but he was clearly confused. Axel was determined to help him out, but before he could say or do anything else, Roxas spoke again.

"You know, I -I think I have to go. My mom will be worried about me. It's really late, so…"

Axel remembered all the times he made Roxas act like this – uncomfortable, awkward, and cute as hell. Irresistable.

Axel can't help it. "I'll walk you home. It's dark out. It might not be safe." Axel knew that wasn't true, but he didn't want to leave Roxas yet.

"Oh, okay. Thanks." They walked down the steps of the clock tower, Roxas leading.

"So, alright. Roxas has a girlfriend," Axel said, feigning a congratulatory tone. He couldn't keep the condescension from creeping into his voice. "How long have you been dating her?"

"Um – I don't remember. A long time - forever."

They keep walking in silence. Roxas was somehow speeding ahead of him despite the fact that he was so much shorter. Axel could barely keep up. Was Roxas trying to run away?

Axel examined Roxas's face. He had so many questions, but he choose the one at the top of his mind, though he greatly feared the answer. "Have you kissed her?" Roxas slowed down a bit, so Axel did too.

"Yeah," Roxas responded uncomfortably. "But… why are you asking me all of this? Who are you? I don't understand."

"Roxas, I told you. We used to be good friends – best friends. Clearly, you don't remember, but don't worry. I'm going to help you."

Roxas stopped walking suddenly. "Well, erm… this is my house, so, I'll see you around, I guess," he said, walking up the steps to his door. Axel was angry at himself for not slowing Roxas down before. This complicated things. Axel needed more time.

But then he realizeed that Roxas was not going inside. He was standing outside the door, on the highest step, looking at Axel, waiting for something. Axel easily guessed what it was.

He moved in closer, forcing Roxas up against the wall. He could sense Roxas getting nervous. He was clearly is unsure what to do.

"Roxas," Axel whispered. "Look at me." Axel stood on the second step, correcting the height difference between them. He could feel himself getting nervous too, but he knew he can disguise it a lot better than Roxas. Roxas slowly nodded his head upward. Axel felt his entire core vibrating – the desire to kiss, to hug, but when their eyes meet, he saw terror looking back at him. For some reason, he couldn't do it. He backed away.

"Another night, Roxas," he said coolly, saluting him nonchalantly before turning down the steps. He briskly walked around the corner and entered a dark portal, without turning back.

Axel went straight to Demyx's room, sneaked under the covers, and laid with his back to Demyx's chest, cuddling as close as possible. .

"Axel, where have you been?" Demyx asked, clearly still half-asleep.

Axel's throat felt tight. He could barely speak. "I forgot what he was like, Demyx."

"So you think it's really him now?" Axel couldn't respond. "Axel, you're shaking." Axel said nothing. "It's okay man. Just sleep it off," he says gently. "You can stay here."

Axel let's out the breath he's been holding in. He didn't know how he was going to do it.