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Speak Now!

InuYasha/Kagome

Rated: T

Summary: Kagome and InuYasha dated for a long while back in high school and a bit through college. They were known far and wide as the perfect couple and easily agreed along with everyone else that they were meant to be. Unfortunately one summer their relationship came to a drastic end when InuYasha went to the States to finish school. It was upon a mutual agreement they not see each other because of the long distance however he vowed to return to her. Now, 3 years later, InuYasha returns to Japan only to announce his engagement to the mysterious Kikyo Hiromi, to which Kagome is heartbroken. Now with only months away from the Wedding Kagome has to decide whether to hold her peace or Speak Now!

Chapter 4: Back To December

These days, I haven't been sleeping

Staying up, playing back myself leaving

When your birthday passed and I didn't call

Upon his arrival back to his hometown of Hiroshima, InuYasha had felt better than he had in the last three years of his life. He didn't know if it was because he was back home or the fact that he knew that a certain someone was somewhere in the area. He shook his head to dismiss the thought and looked back to find his girlfriend. He watched as she thanked the pilot for the ride, giving him a wink in the process, and strutted towards him. InuYasha didn't appreciate the affectionate gesture Kikyo had given the man, but he wasn't going to say anything about it. She had claimed to hate that he was possessive over nothing and that she would forever be his; however, with the way she had been acting forever didn't seem like a long time.

"Inu!" She exclaimed as she launched herself at him. He could have rolled his eyes at the dramatic display but opted to carry her bags. "So where are we going first?"

"Home. My parents want to meet you"

Kikyo frowned as she took in the new information. She had forgotten about the meeting with his parents, she had been so set on sightseeing. She sighed inwardly. She truthfully dreaded the thought of meeting his parents pretending as someone she was not, but this was the price of fame. InuYasha had to have been her best investment yet and she wouldn't blow it over for some meeting. Smiling as innocently as she could, she looked at her soon to be husband and said, "How lovely. It would be grand to meet the creators of my fiancé" She almost rolled his eyes at the smile he gave her. All the men she knew always loved it when a woman complimented their parents; it was always there dream that they would get along great as well. Ha, all she had to do was bat her stylishly long eyelashes and give them a dazzling smile and they'll be putty in her hands. Of course, it always worked on the father, she wasn't entirely sure about the mother. She shrugged. Nevertheless, nothing would be able to take her away from this man. At least not yet.

Placing an arm around his girlfriend he smiled brightly. His family would love her he hoped. Even if they didn't he was a grown man who made his own decisions. His thoughts immediately went back to Kagome. When he had left he wasn't as grown as he had become now. Now, he was in charge of his life and everyone in it. He suppressed a sigh. He wouldn't deny that he missed Kagome. Hell even Kami, himself wouldn't be able to convince him otherwise but fate had always turned out to be a bitch, just like Karma. Looking at his girlfriend he bit his lip in deep thought. She was beautiful-of course she would have to be as a model-but her beauty was lacking something. He could never put his finger on it, but something always left him stumped when it came to her.

Kagome had an innocent and shy beauty; while Kikyo's was flaunted and experienced.

Kagome was fierce and passionate.

Kikyo was impassive and sometimes nonchalant.

Kagome's eyes were almost filled with an emotion.

Kikyo's eyes were devoid of any feelings.

Kagome was his mate.

Shaking his head, he cursed the credulous thoughts that invaded his mind. Whatever he had with Kagome was null and void. She wouldn't want him anymore and he had to face that and live happily with his fiancé. However there was always what if that followed him. What if Kagome had agreed to come along with him to America? What if he had enough balls to tell his father he couldn't leave Kagome? What if he never met Kikyo? Would he and Kagome even be together?

Looking back towards his fiancé, his heart clenched with the fact that he wasn't completely in love with her as she was him. He didn't know why but someone inside of him couldn't-wouldn't- let go of what he felt for Kagome. She had been his everything for the better part of his life and it's hard to forget everything they've been though. However, it was unfair to Kikyo for him to compare her to Kagome. Kikyo deserved better, better than him and he was at awe at how she stayed by his side.

But...Kagome…

He missed her pale skin, her sweet smile; she was so good to him and he went and did this. Miroku was right. He did betray Kagome more than he ever wished he could and it hurt. He hurt. He wished he could go back to December when this all started and make it all right. He wanted to say sorry for the night he had left her and in his mind he played out how it would happen. He knew it hopeless thinking but he swore that if he had another chance to love her again he would love her right.

He missed her. His heart broke again slightly at the realization and betrayal he felt for both of the women left in this situation because of him. And it killed him to know that all he wanted was to make things right with Kagome. He figured that by now that Miroku had told her and she was either crushed or feigning happiness for him-if she didn't indeed have someone already. However, someone where deep inside of him, he knew she didn't move on. Hell, he'd have to admit that he'd be pretty pissed off if she did.

Sighing he absently toyed with the locket she had given on their three year anniversary and suddenly he felt like the biggest jackass in the world. She had told him then that there would never be another…it was also the night she had given herself to him completely and he swore that in that moment nothing could have been more perfect. Dammit. He couldn't even sleep like he used to after he left, he played back every day what a dumb decision he had made and hated himself for purposely ignoring her birthday and not even calling her. It hurt so much to hear her voice and not have her there with him. He can admit it was selfish of him but he didn't know what else to do! Although when it all came back down to it, he figured he never really deserved Kagome in the beginning. Maybe Kami was trying to show him just that or rather Satan was playing a cruel joke on him. Either way he wished he could go back in time and change it but he can't. He would understand if she permanently sealed a chain on her door as well.

He would at least talk to her while he was here, if not for the last time. He couldn't just leave things as they were without an explanation or conclusion. He had to swallow his pride and say sorry for that night he left and then he would let her be. He would disappear from her life so that she might find happiness in someone better than himself. He would hate it…but he would do it…for her.

You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

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