Chapter 4: Driving is for dummiez!

Psycho's POV:

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"

"AIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Will you calm down? I haven't even started the car yet!" Katie yelled at us. Yes, we're letting Katie drive. Not because we want to, but for two reasons:

1. She's the only one who wants to drive and has a liscence, and

2. I keep failing my driver's test... so I couldn't even if I wanted to.

"I know... but Psycho and I are apparently having a premonition of the horrors to come with you behind the wheel..." Kretzing said shakily.

"You mean like, those visions from Final Destination?" I asked. I remember that movie! It sucked... but the death scenes were great! yay spontaneous death scenes! Woooooo!

"Yep!" Kretzing yelled.

"Cool! That movie sucked," I said. It seriously did. It had enough death scenes for me, but they were poorly planned out. I mean, they were simple accidents that could happen any day to anyone. The SECOND one had the best death scenes!

"Yeah… but you gotta admit, there aren't any other movies with enough death scenes to satisfy us out there today," Kretzing sighed.

"Yep, you gotta take what you can get," Chucky agreed.

"Mmm hmm…" The three of us mumbled. Hey, come to think of it, Chucky's movies are pretty violent… Maybe Final Destination got some inspiration from him! But that's just what I think. I could be wrong.

Oh no… Katie's backing out of the driveway…. Aaah! She's trying to turn! Noooooo! I'm too young and pretty to die! Aaaugh! Aaa… Huh? We survived the turn! We haven't been hit by a cement truck? YAAAAY! I'm ALIVE! Wooooo! Actually, she's not too bad at driving! Hey! Maybe this won't be so bad after all!

And then the unthinkable happened… Actually, everyone kinda expected something like this…

"OOOOH! DEER! DEER! LET'S FOLLOW IT!" Katie yelled as she hit the gas and sped towards an unsuspecting deer.

"NO KATIE! SPARE IT!" Kretzing and I screamed. Chucky screamed in fear and clutched my leg, causing me try to shake him off, because I don't really want a killer doll hugging my leg.

"WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" The three of us screamed.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" Katie squealed.

"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARF!" went Chucky all over my new jeans... aw, sick! Ew! I really liked these, too!

"Gross! Why didn't you tell us you were carsick?" I said, shoving him off.

"I... I didn't know I... was..." He said shakily as he was thrown around in various directions. Kretzing and I held onto each other for dear life. She began sobbing because she was scared, Chucky was sobbing because an umbrella on the floor hit him in his plastic tender place, and I sobbed because Katie hit the deer and I had doll puke on my pants. Poor deer! Katie stopped the car at a gas station.

"I wanna soda!" Katie said, getting out of the car and closing the door. She opened it again and looked at us. "You guys want anything?" We remained silent, fear clutching our hearts. The only sound was Chucky throwing up on Kretzing's shoes.

"Something... to get my heart going again... please," Kretzing managed to wheeze.

"S...Skittles... and a Mountain Dew," I mumbled.

"Pepto Bismol and some paper towels," Chucky coughed. After we managed to get our hearts and minds in working order, we unanimously decided that Chucky, being the oldest and probably the most experienced driver, to take over and... "let Katie take a break"... and by that, I mean avoid death for all four of us. Well... there was a bit of a problem...

"Hey! He can't even reach the pedals or see over the steering wheel!" Katie protested. Damn... I was hoping she wouldn't notice.

"So? You weren't looking at the road anyway, so I don't see the difference," Kretzing said.

"I can't control my height, ya' know! I couldn't get a hold of one of those life-sized dolls when I was killed!" Chucky yelled, glaring at us.

"Actually... Chucky driving might be as bad as Katie driving," I said, scratching my head. Think about it, this guy might have only driven to get away from cops and run pedestrians over. I don't wanna be in a car with a maniac like him driving. Plus, he may not have a lot of control with his height isuues and all.

"Well, Psycho, you have a learner's permit. You drive! Katie can sit in the front so it's okay for you to," Kretzing said, picking Chucky up and shoving me into the car.

"Wh-what? B-but I can't drive all that well yet! I can't even back out of a driveway!" I said, trying to get back out. I've only had my permit for a week! And I BARELY passed the written test!

"Oh, c'mon! I'll give you instructions! And I'm sure Chucky will help, too! Right?" Katie asked, distributing the food and stomach medicine she bought.

"Screw off. I wanted to drive," he mumbled. I started shaking as I grabbed the wheel. Gulp... here goes...

Three hours later...

"AAAAH! Left! Left!" Chucky screamed.

"I AM TURNING LEFT YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" I screamed in frustration. I do not need him pressuring me!

"SHUT IT BLONDIE! YOU TURNED RIGHT!" he yelled back.

"DON'T CALL ME BLONDIE!" I yelled, throwing a soda at him.

"FINE, "BITCH"! IS THAT BETTER?"

"YOU LITTLE SON OF A-"

"WATCH THE ROAD!" Katie and Kretzing yelled.

"Sorry!" I said, trying to calm down. Well, so far, I've driven too slow, been pulled over three times, driven too fast, slammed on the brakes a few times, and for the first two hours I was in reverse and driving backwards.

"Calm down, Psy. Okay, now, push gently on the gas and try to keep up with your speed," Katie said. I nodded and gently pushed on the gas pedal. Okay... things are getting better now. I think I'll be okay! AAAH! DOG!

SPLAT!

"Aaah! A puppy!" Kretzing yelled. I... I hit a dog... an innocent puppy... WHAT KIND OF PERSON HAVE I BECOME? I stopped the car in the middle of the road and jumped out, running to where the dead dog was.

"I... I'm so sorry, puppy!" I sobbed. I knew this would happen! I k-killed a puppy! Waugh!

"Um.. Katie, I think you should drive again..." Chucky said. Katie nodded and got out of the car, patting me on the back and trying to console me.

"Don't worry! Everyone hits a dog sooner or later!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAUGH! BUT IT W-WAS SO T-T-TINY AND CUTE!" I cried. I admit it, even though I have a bit of a violent nature, I get all soft inside when it comes to animals. Even ugly animals. I can't help it! And now... I've become the enemy of puppies!

"Chucky's tiny and cute! You can hug him if it would make you feel better!" Kretzing said, holding him out of the window.

"Put me down, bitch," Chucky growled.

"THAT DOESN'T HELP!" I yelled. We got back in the car, katie driving like a maniac, and Chcuky chugging pepto bismol. I felt a little better after awhile... but I still feel like a horrible person.

"I thought you didn't like dogs," Kretzing said.

"I don't... but I never wanted to KILL one!" I said. Yeah, I'm a bit of a cat and small furry animal person. Heck, I am a giant cat at the moment... After everyone was over the trauma of the puppy's death, we pulled into a McDonalds and grabbed some dinner. Chucky and I stayed in the car... I'm alone with a killer doll... this can't be good...

"So... You single?" he asked out of nowhere.

"Uh... no... why?" I asked.

"I was just wondering. You know... if we don't find Tiffany, I could always use another girlfriend!" he said, winking at me.

"EEEEWWWW! GROSS! Katie's single, bug her!" I said, moving to the front seat. He burst into a fit of laughter.

"Just kidding! believe it or not, I could do better than you," he said. EXCUSE ME?

"Hey! What do you mean by that?" I growled.

"Well, you're cute and all, but you have no chest and you're hair looks like a dead rat that fell in some bleach."

THAT LITTLE BASTARD!

"Grr..." I mumbled. Katie and Kretzing came back at a good time, because I was just about to throw the little fumbducker into the street and stomp on him after he was run over.

"Hey Psycho! We got you a parfait, 'cuz they were out of chicken," Kretzing said, throwing the yogurt to me.

"Yeah, and you might wanna lay off the junk food too," Chucky said, taking one of my fries.

"THAT'S IT!" I screeched and grabbed him by the hair and threw himm across the parking lot.

"What the crap?" Kretzing asked. I rand out and threw him back to the car and kicked him when he landed.

"AM I PRETTY ENOUGH FOR YOU NOW, YOU UGLY LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT?" I screamed. Oh... I'm MAD right now...

"NO ONE DOES THAT TO ME YOU LITTLE WHORE!" he yelled and bit my ankle.

Katie's POV:

Whoah! Chucky and Psycho are going at it! Before they killed each other, Kretzing and I were forced to duck tape them to their seats and gag them because if this stroy receives any more profanity in this chapter, the rating might have to go up.

"So, how far away, now?" Kretzing yawned.

"Eight hours... let's drive until we see another hotel," I said groggily. We pulled out of the resteraunt and drove along the highway, Chucky and Psycho mumbling insults at each other the whole way.

Next chapter: You, me, and a bottle of Surge

Hey folks! This is Psycho! Well, a lot's happened since I last updated, so let me fill you in: Katie and I are both 15 now, she can drive, I can't. I have a boyfriend (he may show up later...), my ferret died... and I got a myspace finally. I'll put the URL as my homepage.

I finally got my Halloeen costume! I'm gonna be American McGee's Alice! My hair's too light, and my eyes are blue... but it's about the right lenght, and Alice was originally blonde. So meh!

I see we have some new reviewers! Hello to Tevtev! thanks for taking the time to read my stories! I'll read yours when I get the chance! and please don't knock yourself out so much... it worries me... But hey, at least you like it!