Chapter 4

Lily slept in Steve's lap while the doctors checked her over and gave her another anti-inflammatory shot. Steve thought back to the last time he had seen her.

*The morning Steve left for boot camp.*

Lily slept soundly on the bed with dried tear tracks on her face. He knew how much this hurt her and how scared she was, but this was his duty. He had to protect his country, he had to protect her. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, he hadn't meant to wake her, but she was a light sleeper.

"Steve." She squeaked and looked him over, feeling anger and sadness at the sight of the uniform.

"I hoped it had all been a dream." She cried.

"I'm sorry doll, it's real." He said and brought her in for one last hug. Fresh tears soaked through his shirt.

"I want you to be sure you walk home with one of the other girls from the club. You and Ruth seem to get on well, maybe she'll walk with you." He told her and she nodded. Steve never told her what to do, but he did not want her walking downtown alone, and this was one thing she wasn't going to argue about. Steve didn't know the club would shut down a week later, he didn't know Lily would feel the same spark he had after she saw a photograph from the front lines. But somehow, he knew she'd be ok, and that's what gave him the strength to leave.

*Now.*

Bucky entered the room with worry in his eyes.

"She ok?" He questioned and sat down next to Steve.

"Yeah, she's alright. I never thought I'd get to see her again Buck." Steve sighed and brushed her hair back.

"Steve I know this seems like a saving grace or a gift from heaven, but she may not be the same Lily anymore." Bucky told him.

"She remembered me Bucky." He said.

"And I remembered you too, but I still hurt you. I'm not saying all of Lily is gone forever, but it just may take some time to get her back." Steve nodded sadly. Bucky had never thought he'd see Lily again, and to be honest he would have been fine with that. It wasn't that Bucky didn't like Lily, he loved Lily, but she was the only thing that could rip him and Steve apart. When he saw how Steve looked at her, like she was his whole world, he took a step back. He didn't want to hurt Steve or his chances of finding someone. Bucky knew the day he met Lily, that she could be the end of their friendship.

*How it all started.*

It was two weeks after Steve's sixteenth birthday, and Lily had just transferred to their school. None of the girls wanted to be her friend because acted and dressed like a girl, and for the same reason none of the boys wanted to go out with her. She sat alone at lunch, hunched over her notebook.

"Hey Bucky, let's go sit with Lily, she could probably use some company." Steve suggested one day and Bucky followed his lead.

"Hey Lily, I'm Steve, this is Bucky. Do you mind if we sit with you?"

"Not at all." She said with a kind smile. The two boys sat down. Bucky soon discovered she liked comics and dirty jokes, and a lot of other things girls weren't supposed to like. She was a rebel, and Bucky was hooked. After a few months Bucky was able to convince her to go out with him, and they had a good time in the back of his dad's car, on more than one occasion. Then he met another girl and denied that he had ever gone out with Lily. Bucky still isn't sure why she still wanted to be friends with him after that, but he could tell that she never completely got over it.

*Now*

Lily was permitted out of the cell, but for now the collar stayed. They offered her a room, but she wanted to stay with Steve. He introduced her to the team and slowly integrated her into the modern world. They had discovered that during her time inder Hydra's control she wasn't one hundred percent cognitive.
"So, it's 2013?" She asked.
"It sure is." Steve confirmed. "And you know a woman can do whatever she wants now, it's normal for women to wear pants in public." He told her and her face lit up.
"This is great, Steve. Bucky, you, and I, we can finally be who we were meant to be, who we always been. No more judgement or stares." She sighed happily. Steve grabbed her hand gently as he stared into her eyes like a love sick kid, but he noticed her ring was gone.
"What happened to your ring?" He wondered.
"I'm not sure, something must have happened to it during the crash, all of my memories are still pretty fuzzy." She told him.
"Well I'll have to get you a new one." He said and smiled.
"Steve I was wondering, and I won't be upset if there was, but was there anyone else after me?" She asked and he nodded, feeling slightly ashamed.
"Yeah, her name is Peggy Carter, she is a good, strong woman. You'd like her."
"Are you two still involved?"
"No, I met her after your plane went down, then I got frozen in the ice. She is much older now, and she may not have much longer." Steve explained.
"I'm sorry."
"It's alright. I love her but I love you two, Peggy and I don't have a chance now, but you and I do. I want to give you the life we planned, if you still want it." Lily leaned forward and kissed her soldier for the first time in over 70 years. As the weeks went on Steve got used to having her sleeping next to him again, but he also had to get used to the pain that woke her up. She'd shake and her body would tense.
"It's seems like it's only gotten worse." Steve sighed as he rubbed her hands in the middle of the night.
"The electricity actually helps, the pulses soothe the pain." She told him.
"We have to get that collar off." He said.
"No, if they take it off I could lose control and hurt someone, I could hurt you." She cried, tears streaming down her scarred cheeks.
"Baby doll, you won't lose control, and I can't stand seeing you in pain like this." Her pain eventually faded and Steve fell asleep. Lily was glad to be home, but she felt off. When she looked in the mirror all she saw was a scarred, distorted version of herself, an ugly, broken thing. That beautiful show girl was gone, and Steve looked so perfect now, looks were never that important to him, but anyone could see they didn't belong together. She had been under Hydra's thumb for so long, it was hard for her to find herself. Her hair had grown longer, as had Bucky's. Lily got out of bed and grabbed some scissors from the bathroom. She went to turn on the light, but found no switch.
"Would you like me to turn the light on Miss Martin?" Jarvis asked, the AI had startled her.
"Who's there?"
"My name is Jarvis, I'm an automated Intelligence system wired throughout the tower. Think of me as a personal assistant." He explained. "Would you like me to turn on the light ma'am?"
"Yes Mr. Jarvis, Sir."
"Jarvis is fine miss." He said and turned the light on. Lily started cutting her hair to the same length it was over 70 years ago, but she still didn't feel like herself. She crawled back in bed with Steve, which woke him, he had always been a light sleeper.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." She whispered.
"It's alright. You cut your hair."
"Yeah, it was bothering me." She sighed.
"Is that the only thing that's bothering you?" Steve questioned.
"I've got a lot on my mind Stevie." She told him and buried her face in his chest.
"No matter what you think, you're beautiful. You're just as breathtaking as you were the day I met you."