Disclaimer: This wonderful world belongs to J.K. Rowling (what a surprise, I know!)
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When I was agreed to meet Roxie in the Room of Requirement the next day, I figured I would be met with a laughing Roxie making fun of her momentary blip of insanity. I did not expect fully drafted plans complete with a time, place, and prank. If anything, I thought we would proceed with a level of caution equal to that used when approaching an angry Blast-Ended Skrewt. Roxie seemed more of the mindset of speeding full force ahead with the same level of energy as a late Hogwarts Express.
While sitting in the fluffy arm chairs, Roxie relayed her "rough draft." By the time she had finished, she had completely annihilated any remaining pieces of my illusion of her being an innocent Hufflepuff. Not to mention, now I had even more proof to support my idea that the title "Prefect" was a mere facade masking the real troublemakers (look at Frank Longbotton. He goes gallivanting around the castle causing mischief like a good little Marauder, and yet, he is deemed an appropriate prefect. And take Paisley McLaggen for Exhibit B. To this day, I still do not understand how she was chosen as the Slytherin prefect. All she does is layer more makeup on her face and shout at people for disturbing her "beauty sleep"). But back to Roxie's new plan to destroy the Marauder's pranking monopoly.
"I want to see if we can finish the preparations for Tuesday at dinner." As I said, she was speeding full force ahead.
"Can we finish it all by then?" Roxie's plan was not incredibly difficult, but it would take some time.
"I hope so. Tuesday is the ideal day to do it, as everybody will be caught off guard, expecting the Marauder's prank the next day on Halloween. Plus, it will steal some of their thunder." Roxie giggled at the thought of the Marauders' faces. I was still a little hesitant though.
"Uh, Roxie? Are you sure that you want to do this? What will happen if they find out it was you? "
"Then they will be mad. I will survive. They cannot hold grudges with me. But this is not only about teaching them a lesson. I just want to try something that is outside of the image of a boring Hufflepuff." Roxie looked a little more rational when she was not taking about the Marauders' sudden demise, leaving me less apprehensive that they had driven her past the point of insanity. A hint of worry passed over her face. " Why? Are you backing out on me?"
"Well. Technically I was never asked. But no. I would never pass up the chance of watching the Hufflepuff Princess outprank her cocky captors. You had just better be sure we will not get caught, or else Kevin will murder me." I sent her the beginnings of a grin, which she returned with a toothy smile that had me wonder how she had been able to hide this mischievous part of her for six years. Then again, she was the daughter of the biggest joke shop owner in Europe, so I suppose none of us should really have been fooled by her secret side.
The first flickers of enthusiasm were beginning to bubble up inside of me as we started to plan. Roxie had a lot of the scheme already mapped out, but we went over it and changed some things. I had a couple suggestions to make it go smoother and deflect the blame. Our biggest problem was somehow making it so the prank would go off when we now where near the scene of the crime, but thankfully the Room of Requirement supplied several shelves full of helpful books that were conveniently tailored to our exact needs (I really love this room!).
By the time the sunlight faded from the room, we were mostly ready. The actual planning was a lot more complicated than I realized, and I had a (grudging) newfound respect for the Marauders. For our prank, we had decided to use a delaying potion mixed with a potion I brewed (with a long lost recipe found by Roxie somewhere in the library), which we would put into the food tomorrow at lunch and dinner. The potion I brewed would not take effect until Roxie said a short spell, at which point, the delaying potion would stop blocking the other potion, and anybody who had eaten the potion would begin to feel the effects. We had decided to spike the food tomorrow at dinner, as the teachers would be expecting it to be done the next day when the prank was set off. Plus, it meant that we could form alibis for ourselves (not that anybody would really suspect Roxie. Possibly me, but never the Perfect Princess Hufflepuff Prefect). It would also be unlikely that anyone would miss both lunch and dinner, so nobody would escape our lovely prank.
By the time we left for dinner, Roxie was bouncing off the walls (although it is entirely possible that this is due to the large amount of chocolate chip cookies she consumed an hour ago). We departed ways at the entrance to the Great Hall, making plans to meet in the kitchens tomorrow during our free period.
Once I entered the Great Hall, I steered my way over to the Slytherin table, where my friend Lianne Patterson was trying to devour her boyfriend's face (my eyes, they BURN). I slammed my bag down hard on the table, creating a satisfying thunk that made them jump apart. I eyed them sternly, and while Nathan Boot looked a tad cowed, Lianne just blew me a mocking kiss. I sighed.
"Must I give you the lecture again about permanently scarring the poor little first years?"
"Nope, we have gone over that one enough. Besides, the first years are not nearly as horrified as you are." Lianne made a fair point.
"You would be too if your two best friends for the last six years suddenly decided to start swapping spit in extremely public places." I retorted primly. Lianne grinned, and wrapped one of Nathan's arms around her shoulders. I groaned.
As much as I was glad they had finally gotten together (and stopped that weird ritual where they danced around their feelings for years), I was a little bothered at my new promotion to the position of permanent third wheel. This year I had spent an unprecedented amount of time alone in the library. It is also why I am so glad that I started talking to Roxie, as otherwise I would have been left to mutter to myself and sink slowly into madness.
As promised, Roxie and I met in the kitchens in our free period before lunch. I loved the kitchens. It was a warm, welcoming room that radiated happiness and comfort. Whenever I got too sick of the chilly Slytherin common room, I escaped here. The house elves were always happy and never held it against me that my father was an avid opponent to House Elf rights. By the time I tickled the pear and was blasted with the warm, aromatic air of the kitchens, Roxie was waiting for me at a small table, munching on a platter of cookies. I joined her, grabbed a cookie (was promptly smacked), and greeted the House Elf Tinny, who always made of point of welcoming me every time I came. Roxie had been surprised I knew where the kitchens were, but I explained about my nightly wonderings through the halls of Hogwarts. Sometime in third year I had stumbled across the kitchens, and ever since, I have been one of the house Elves' most frequent visitors (although my dad would probably ground me for eternity if he found out).
The house elves were already getting ready for dinner, with platters of food sprawled out on the four tables that mirrored the ones in the Great Hall. With an exaggerated form of eye communication, Roxie glanced from my bag to the tables. Last night, I had spent a couple hours in the Room of Requirement, brewing the two potions and mixing the exact proportions of them together. To finish it off, I had poured the combined potion into a spray bottle and topped it with a disillusionment charm. Now I pulled the bottle from my bag, casually setting it on the table. When none of the house elves seemed to be paying attention to me, I quietly levitated it into the air and began spraying the food. Next to me, Roxie was trying to appear normal, but was failing. She was gripping my arm (painfully hard) and kept gasping loudly each time the bottle slipped a bit. Finally, I flicked her with my finger, and she sheepishly smiled.
I was halfway through the Gryffindor table when a house elf approached, asking if we wanted anything else. I jumped, knocking over Roxie's cup of tea, and Roxie let out a shriek like gasp. The spray bottle almost plunged into the soup, but I caught it a moment before it made the dive. The house elf began apologizing profusely, which triggered Roxie to do the same. Two other elves began to mop of the broken cup and spilled tea, and I continued spiking the food in peace, letting out a sigh of relief only seen by Roxie. With one last spray, it was done. I used the Accio charm to summon the bottle back to me, and stored it in my bag.
With one last apology for our trouble, Roxie and I left the kitchen. The moment the portrait swung shut, grins burst across both of our faces, and an adrenaline induced laughter bubbled up from our throats. We collapsed against the wall, clutching our stomachs and no doubt looking like constipated monkeys.
"See? I told you it was fun." Roxie beamed at me.
"I just want to see their faces when it starts working." We both giggled like sugar high first years.
Eventually, we pealed ourselves off the floor, and headed to the Great hall in order to stuff ourselves with tampered food.
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~~~~~~~~~~Roxie Point of View~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I entered the Great Hall, I headed over to the Gryffindor table. I had not sought them out after our fight, and they were probably still miffed with the message I sent back to them through Frank. After the first part of the prank went so well, I was feeling charitable and a lot less irritated with them, and decided it could not hurt to attempt to make up with them.
I reached the table to find the lovely view of three teenage boys shoveling as much food as possible into their mouths.
"That's disgusting." The reaction was immediate. Frank nearly choked in his attempts to not look like a barbarian, James shot straight up, eyeing behind me suspiciously to see if I stashed a Slytherin somewhere, and Fred looked at me for a second before returning right back to his food, barely pausing in his Stuff-and-Swallow routine.
"Hey Roxs." Except when Fred said it, it sounded more like "'Ay Wroks" thanks to a particularly large chomp of chicken.
"No snake?" James was still skeptically looking around.
"Nope. I left her to slither back to her own habitat to swallow rats and little children whole." James looked to where I was motioning at Nashira laughing with Lianne.
"Good." James nodded decisively, before pulling me down to sit next to him.
I waved at Frank, who was still trying to recover from his choking fit. Fred hit him on the back, after graciously tearing himself away from his food in order to aid his half-dying friend.
"Hey Roxie." He rasped out, wildly reaching out to smack Fred, who was still loudly pounding on his back. James primly looked on. Yes. These are the attractive people who have the entire female population of Hogwarts (excluding family members and Nashira) under their charm.
"I cannot believe you have finally stopped ignoring us. It was dreadful here without you. Next time, do not abandon me with them." James sighed, pulling me into a hug, paying no heed to Frank's and Fred's protests.
"Next time, do not be a prig. And it was only a day." I freed myself from his grasp, and tousled his permanently mused hair (something he utterly despises). As expected, he wacked my hand away. I grinned. I hated fighting with them all, and I had missed them.
"Exactly!" He bumped his fist to his chest. "Fine. No more insulting your evil, little spawn of Satan friend, and you can stop your girlish hissy fits." I snorted at James' proposal, but was somewhat touched that he had even consented to compromising. He is renowned for his pigheaded stubbornness.
"Agreed." James nodded again, satisfied.
The next day I was full of nervous energy, and waiting until dinner was painful. Potions was the worst, as Nashira and I kept on exchanging looks and anxiously giggling. We nearly destroyed the potion several times, and Professor Wilson shot us several odd looks throughout the class, prompting us to break out in hysterical laughter again. We spent the rest of the time before dinner in the library, abandoning our secluded table for one in plain view of the librarian, Madame White. We made sure to ask for her help locating a book, so she could support our alibi if something went seriously wrong.
Finally, dinner came, and the end our miserable waiting period approached. We entered the Great Hall and made straight for the Hufflepuff table, shooting each other expressions that replicated the face used by mischievous four year olds stealing candy. My stomach was clench as I twirled by food on my plate, wishing so many people were not late to dinner. We had decided to wait until dinner was a bit more than halfway done.
At long last, Nashira gave me the signal, and I muttered the spell under my breath. Nothing happened for a few seconds, as the potions began reacting. It was a third year Ravenclaw that noticed something first. She shouted as her hands started swelling, attracting the attention of the entire students and Faculty. Soon after that, a fifth year Hufflepuff gave a shout of surprise. It did not take long for the rest of the student population to join in, as one by one, everyone noticed their hands growing. The teachers watched in confusion.
After that, everything went fast. People began realizing that it was not just their hands swelling, but their entire bodies. Buttons could be heard popping off and bouncing on the floor as every student bubbled out into huge, round balls. We looked like perfect spheres except for the little arms, feet, and heads poking out. And then the fun started. Just like Uncle Harry told us his Aunt Marge did in his third year, everyone began slowly lifting off the ground, rising like large, human balloons. An inflated Nashira slowly waved her hand at me, as she floated to the ceiling where a bunch of balloon students already hovered.
Everyone was bumping into each other and bouncing off walls, other students, and the ceiling. I saw James and Fred float by me, looking flabbergasted. I giggled slightly. Some of the screams had turned to laughter now, and the teachers had finally woken from their surprise at seeing their students become balloons. They jumped into action, trying to find a spell that would change us back.
I exchanged glances with Nashira. The potion should be running out by now, so we should start dropping on our own soon. Right on cue, some of the heavier upperclassmen began dropping and deflating, myself and Nashira included. We bumped younger students out of the way as we slowly drifted down. By the time we hit the floor, looking completely normal again, some of the younger students were beginning to descend too. Students landed in topples all over the floor, a bit disorientated at finding their bodies with normal proportions.
Headmistress McGonagall was calling for attention. I saw Professor Newark angrily approach James, Fred, and Frank, who were shaking their heads in surprise. After several minutes, he left, apparently believing their story of innocence for once (It was probably their dumbfounded expressions. I do not think I have ever seen them that thrown off).
Everything blurred by after that. The Headmistress made an announcement, asking students to report any information on the culprit, people kept on approaching the Marauders, who would just shrug in confusion, and everybody else began gossiping about the prank and perpetrator. Soon we were all instructed to head to our common rooms. I said goodnight to Nashira, who winked at me.
By breakfast the next day, I was completely satisfied that Nashira and I had successfully confused the entire Hogwarts population. In my door, the common room, and the hallways, everybody was talking about the prank that was not committed by the Marauders. Listening to everybody unknowingly talk of me made me feel like I was pretending to be a secret agent. It was like having a secret identity. A couple people approached me to ask if I had any speculations on the perpetrator, which nearly made me collapse into giddy laughter.
When I walked into the Great Hall, I glanced over to the Slytherin table where Nashira sat. She raised her glass of pumpkin juice at me in a mock toast, sending me a content smile. I sent her a secretive half smile back, before venturing over to the Gryffindor table, where the smiles were decidedly not content.
Fred appeared to be mumbling under his breath, shooting dark glares at anybody foolish enough to ask him if they had any clue of the person's identity. When I snagged a seat next to him, he started to snap with anger, before deflating when he realized it was me.
"Hey Roxs." He sounded like a kicked puppy.
I surveyed him. He mostly just looked grumpy.
"Have you come to ask if we knew anything about the tosspots that did that amateur prank yesterday too?" He dares call my lovely prank amateur? Luckily he seemed to take my offended expression as a signal that I was not a prying busybody.
"No matter, mate." James responded, looking a bit maniacal. "Some little prank by an obvious novice could never taint our solidly built reputation. Besides, our prank tonight will make them all forget anyone dared to defy our reign."
"Your reign?" I snorted. Frank gave me a weird look. "What? That was a little bit dramatic. I thought you were the poster faces for mischief. Shouldn't you be happy that someone else has been converted to your weird pranking cult? " James looked at me knowledgeably.
"You have been spending too much time with the snarky Slytherin. And we wholeheartedly support creating trouble, but this was not just a prank. It was a declaration of war!" I nearly choked on my cereal.
"Are you sure it is not just someone wanting to try making a prank?" Frank gave me another unnerving look, surveying me with his piercing eyes. I nervously fiddled with my spoon. He could not know, we were too careful.
"Roxie, Roxie, so naïve." Fred shook his head sadly. I shot him a glare (suspiciously similar to Nashira's. James might be right. I probably am spending too much time with her).
Today was one of those fun days where the teachers expect their students to be lazy. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday to celebrate at Hogwarts, probably because everyone gets really excited over it. The hallways were decorated with the typical floating pumpkins, the suits of armors were casually strolling past students, and Peeves was peppering dungbombs and yelling seasonal profanities.
After James' warning this morning, I was prepared for an entertaining evening. They did not disappoint. All throughout the day, different classrooms were plunged into utter darkness, and students emerged with variously shaped horns, tails, and assorted mutated body parts. Nashira got a particularly lovely set of devil's horns that went rather well with her bright red clown nose (also courtesy of the Marauders). She posed a very intimidating picture. Well, after we finished laughing at her and noticed her expression full of blood lust. I spent the rest of the night having a party in the Hufflepuff common room, eating candy and joking with the Fat Friar.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Nashira Point of View~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After dinner I finally found time to go up to the Hospital wing to remove my oh-so-beautiful nose and horns. Unsurprisingly, it was bursting with students, most of them younger. The older students were generally able to transfigure their newly acquired features back to their original ones, but I did not trust myself to use a transfiguration on my face. All of my "friends" thought it would be rude to "damage the Marauders' wonderful artwork," and refused to help me. Apparently I looked funny (ha ha sarcastic laugh). I had to suck up my heavily bruised pride and dragged myself to the Hospital Wing.
Where, of course, the first person I had to meet was Potter. He looked at me for a good five seconds before grinning widely and calling to Weasley, who exploded in laughter. Lovely.
"Need some help Alden?" Help? From Potter? Why yes, I would love to accept help from the son of Satan whose fault it is that I looked like a mutant demon clown. They really knew how to inspire trust.
"No, I am quite content with keep the rest of my features normal. And willingly allowing you to hex my face would end solely in disaster."
"No need to pull out the snark. Madame Brown recruited us to help her. Something about punishment for causing her the extra work. We come in peace." Oops, was my guffaw of derision offend you?
"I'll wait for the actual healer, thanks for the concern." I finished the sentence with a bright, entirely fake, smile.
"Line's over there. Frankly, I am glad you refused. I am not sure I could have resisted the temptation. I think some elephant ears would have gone great with the entire combination."
"Not really my style. I prefer red, rubber spheres obnoxiously glued to face." My voice turned flat. "Now why are you talking to me. It is scary, and quite frankly, worries me greatly." James sighed dramatically.
"I do not know what I have done to deserve so little trust. First the teachers, now you." I rubbed my devil's horns in sarcastic puzzlement. "My dear, wonderful cousin who I love greatly believes for some reason that you are not an evil, manipulative monster. I am not sure if I trust that decision, but I am told I have to respect it. Apparently that means not hexing you. Excessively. A couple spells here and there, that's all." I stared hard at him for a moment, before shaking my head in exasperation. I do not know how Roxie dealt with them for the last sixteen years. It has been two minutes, and half of my sanity has already dribbled out of my head.
"Ok Potter." I have very little faith in his ability to resist the temptation of hexing me. I left him to help some giggling fourth years get rid of some gills, and went to wait for Madame Brown to help me.
Before I left the Hospital wing (all features normal), I sent a quick spell towards Potter, gifting him with some rather adorable bunny ears. After all, it was only Potter's face.
I ducked through I couple hidden passages that have not been used for years by anybody except for me. Originally, I was going to go back to the common room, where a party was probably taking place. Halfway there, I changed direction, instead deciding to go to the Astronomy tower.
No teacher was cruel enough to assign astronomy homework on Halloween, so I was the only person there. It was already dark out, and there was a cool breeze that wove straight through my clothes, causing goosebumps to break out. I loved coming up here. It was always calm and peaceful, and it was my one place to think. I loved being high up and feeling the wind, it reminded me of flying.
Tomorrow was a full moon, and the nearly complete orb gave off a pale light that made the stars look less bright. I leaned against the wall and subconsciously rubbed my left shoulder. It always got sore around the time of a full moon, although the healers said it might dull with age. I sat there for a good hour, enjoying being alone and having nothing demanding my attention. I let my thoughts drift, going over menial details and old events and people I had not thought about in years.
I wondered what Simon was doing. I wished he would write more, I wanted to hear more about the United States. From there my thoughts turned to the giant crack that was currently splintering my family. I brooded over Simon's relationship with my dad. I doubted they would make up anytime soon. My dad could be very stubborn and single minded, although I think my mum is about fed up with him. She does not mention it in her letters, but I am pretty sure they have been fighting a lot recently.
I sighed, deciding to banish all negative thoughts from my mind for the moment. Eventually I managed to tear myself away from the dark tower (how very Slytherin of me) and made my way back to the common room, ducking into a secret passage behind a portrait on the fourth floor once to avoid Peeves.
Most of my roommates were already in our dorm when I arrived. Lianne looked up when I bounced onto my bed, evicting a 'hmph' of annoyance from Paisley McLaggen.
"You are lucky you came back before curfew, or I would have reported you to Newark." Paisley and I do not get along. Unfortunately, she is a Prefect too, and enjoys lording her power over us mere mortals.
"How very mature of you McLaggen, with all the three-year old tattling." Lianne drawled out from her position sprawled out on her bed. She was analyzing her neon green nails, looking for any flaw (Lianne is a huge perfectionist). Paisley ignored her, and Lianne turned towards me.
"Have a nice break?"
"Yup." Lianne is accustomed to my sporadic breaks away from humanity. "Have a nice time with Nathan?"
"Yup." Paisley glared at us (I have suspected for a long time that she secretly has a crush on Nathan, but Lianne tells me I am crazy). I decided against provoking the rabid bear (McLaggen), and decided that it would be wiser tonight to just go to sleep. Quietly I slipped into the bathroom and changed, brushed my teeth, and then collapsed into bed.
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I borrowed the idea of the human balloon from J.K. Rowling. Ok, so the actual prank probably was not the most creative, but it was the first thing that popped into my mind, and it stuck. I know I spent too much time describing the actual prank, but I felt it was necessary as it was their first one. The following ones will be (hopefully) more interesting and less wordy. The beginning of this was hard for me to write, and I highly suspect that the beginning with cause most people to just vaguely skim through. However, the end was very enjoyable to write :) Thank you so much for reviewing! (You all are wonderful, wonderful people 3)