Simon gave the signal and I let the toy mouse go. It squeaked and the widowed old hag opened her eyes with panic. The metal mouse squeaked again and again, moving from one place to the next. She got up slowly, no doubt because of her fat pride weighing her down.

"Now, you listen here, you pustular tykes. You ain't allowed in the kitchen. Not now, not ever. I have it in writing. In writing." She took out the parchment, pointing at it.

Mrs. Blatherwick caught the mouse and banged her masher's stick on it.

"Where are you, you mewling half-bakes? I'm ready for you, and I'm hard-oh!"

Eric hit her with a frying pan from the dumbwaiter, and I fell over, giggling. It sounds so wrong every time!

Aggy was sleeping in her basket, Chrissy and Lilly were catapulting random stuff into a pot of boiling hot water, Seb was eating and swinging on the pot holders, Eric was making a bomb, while Torra and I were clipping up stinky socks and throwing them into Simon's pot where he was smashing them into a green mixture. Chrissy, Seb, and Lilly were screaming so much that it made me hoarse.

"We got Cook! We got Cook!" Chrissy screamed.

I smiled. No doubt about it. She is almost exactly like me. Torra noticed Eric brewing something up from under the table.

"Eric, you're not making another bomb, are you?"

The door opened, and the most horrid looking woman walked in.

"Oh, look." The whole room became a little quieter at Simon's voice. "The door's open, and there's nobody there."

I exchanged looks with Torra who was equally worried and self-conscious.

Cook screamed,"Help!Help me!"

"I am here. I am Nanny McPhee."

"Oh, d-d-d-did somebody speak?"

"I didn't hear anything," Eric replied.

"That's because nobody's there," Seb added.

"Then listen carefully and try to hear this. You are to stop what you are doing, put the kitchen to rights, and go upstairs to bed."

"I'd just had an idea. How about we play here in the kitchen all night long?"

""Let's! Let's! Let's!" Chrissy yelled, jumping up and down.

"Excellent notion," Eric added devilishly.

Seb said,"Tomatoes!"

Chrissy urged,"Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!" The gnarly nanny took out a stick. "Jump! Jump! Jump. Jump."

I stole a glance at Simon and then followed the suit, looking at the ugly hag in horror. She banged the stick and we bag an to do everything hastily.

Lilly asked, "What's she done?!"

"She's done something to us," Eric replied hotly.

"They went in the pot! They went in the pot!"

I turned slightly to look at what Lilly was talking about. The vegetables went in the pot.

"I can't stop!" Chrissy complained.

"She banged her stick!"

"Will you shut up, Eric?!" I said.

Chrissy said,"I'm going to be sick!"

"It must be magic!"

Lilly asked,"What's happening? Please, Simon, let's stop."

"We've got to stop."

Eric and I simultaneously said,"Let's stop!"

Chrissy agreed,"Let's stop!"

"Well, stop if you want then," Simon responded.

"We can't!" We all screamed, excluding Seb because I couldn't tell from his slurred screams.

"It's her fault!" Chrissy pointed at Nanny McPhee.

"It all started when she banged her stick!"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious!"

"Dana, will you please shut up?"

"If you will, you low life!"

"I can't stop!" Chrissy said again.

"Slow down!" Eric said.

"Simon!" Torra and I yelled.

"Come on then, whoever you are. Let's stop all this and go to bed."

"Say please."

"I never say please!"

"You just did, idiot!" I muttered.

"Very well."

"Please."

"Please."

"Please."

"Please."

"Please."

"Please."

"Don't touch Aggy!"

"Wait! Say it!"

"Simon! Give up on your pride, the moment's gone!"

"Actually, Simon, would you? Because this baby's going to blow," Eric added.

"Your baby sister's going to the stockpot, Simon!" I added.

"Put her back, Chrissy!" Eric ordered.

"Oh, for goodness sake's, please, then," Simon huffed.

"Take Aggy off me!"

"Please, Nanny McPhee," the nanny said.

"Chrissy don't!"

"Say it!"

"Take Aggy out!"

"No Lilly!"

"Simon!"

"Si! Swallow your bloody pride already!"

"I can't stop myself!"

Simon looked at her in the eye, red faced and irritated. "Please, Nanny McPhee."

"I'm going to jump!" Lilly yelled.

"Too late!" Eric screamed, his bomb exploding.

She banged her stick and everything came back to appeared near the door, in tallest to shortest order, with Torra carrying Aggy and me next to Si, my being shorter than him.

"Blimey," Seb said breathlessly.

"Up to bed now, please," Nanny McPhee said.

As we were brushing our hair in the bathroom, I wanted to tell Tora about my feelings towards Si.

"Tora?"

"Hmm?"

"Well, I know this boy, and I'm not really sure how I feel about him."

"Go on."

"Well, he is clever, that's for sure. He's stubborn and puts up a fight, but he does know when to give up. He has chocolate eyes that just makes me want to melt. His sharp tongue makes me want to just kiss him right there and then."

"It's Eric, isn't it?"

"No, it's not."

"Suuure. Then who is it?"

"Promise you won't tell."

"Cross my heart and hope to die."

"Simon."

"Could you say that again? I thought you said it was Simon."

"You heard right. It's Simon."

"Really? Well, you are obviously head over heels for him. I think he likes you too."

"You think so?"

"I know so.

Simon POV

I was starting to feel all mushy gushy when Dana was yelling at me. And that NEVERever happened to Simon Brown. I wanted to ask someone about it, but Eric and Sebastian are too young to understand.I couldn't ask Papa about it. He wouldn't listen. Stupid hormones. I saw Tora and Dana come out of the bathroom, looking fresh. I noticed that Dana's hair was down and curly. Not curly like Lilly's hair but soft curls cascading down her back. I wanted to run my fingers through it so badly. When she passed my bed, Tora whispered something to her. Her eyes widen at the suggestion, hit Torra lightly with her brush, and took a quick glance at me, blushing. I smirked. Maybe she did like me back.

I had explained the plan earlier, and we had started arguing.

"You are not brave. Fine. Be brave then."

"Yes, well, I nearly got blown up, and anyway I-I-"

All of us lied down except for me. Chrissy giggled as the nanny passed her. The nanny picked up something of Chrissy's and placed it on the foot of the bed.

"You must feel at such a disadvantage, Nanny McPhee," I began.

"In what way?"

"We know your name, but you don't know ours." I held up my hand. "Pleased to make your aquaintance. I'm Oglington Fartworthy."

Aggy farted herself and the others all laughed harder. Dana's face was getting red, and looked like she was about to pass out and fall off the bed.

She shook my hand. "How do you do?"

"Uh, that's F-A-R-T. Fart…worthy."

She looked at Dana. "Merlin Snog."

Tora was next. "Booger McHorsefanny."

And then Lilly. "Knickers O'Muffin."

Eric."Sandra."

Chrissy."Bum.'

"I'm Bum!" Sebastian protested.

"Oh, Bosoms."

Aggy. "Bum."

"You can't be Bum, Aggy. Sebastian's Bum. You're Poop," Chrissy stated.

"Poop Bum."

"You can't be Poop and Bum," Sebastian reasoned.

McFat bent over to look at Aggy in the eye. "Good night, Agatha." We all quieted down. "Good night, Dana Maria. Good night, Sebastian. Good night, Tora. Good night, Christianna. Good night, Lilly. Good night, Eric." She turned around. "Good night, Simon. There is something you should know about the way I work. When you need me but do not want me, I shall stay. If you want me but no longer need me, I have to go. It's quite sad, really, but there it is."

"Why would we ever want such an ugly nanny?" Dana asked.

"To make it simple, we would never want you," I added.

"Then, I will never go." She turned off the lights and left.

Tora asked, "How did she know our names? No one ever knows our names."

"Magic," Chrissie answered.

"Witchcraft," Eric elaborated.

"It doesn't matter. We're getting rid of her tomorrow," I replied.