4.

And you can't change the way she feels

But you could put your arms around her.

I know you want to live yourself

But could you forgive yourself

If you left her just the way

You found her.

Massive Attack. Protection.

Tuesday, October 5, 1976, 12:19pm

The day was turning out rather good.

Sirius twirled the wand between his fingers watching the map. James cast the tickling charm and Snivellus with hair transfigured into hay, his big nose spilling corn all over the floor in the middle of a well-performed dance and a surprisingly in-tune lullaby (dilly, dilly) started laughing hysterically.

'Come on, Snivelly,' James taunted, 'you can do better than that.' And he sent a jelly-legs which promptly made Snape collapse on a dilly. His legs frantically danced in the air, giggles still strong. Sirius smirked at the pathetic show in front of him. Snivellus didn't last even ten minutes against James. He gave Snape's wand another twirl and tossed it down the corridor.

'Prongs, gotta go,' he folded the map sloppily and stashed it inside his robes. 'Snivellus, great fun as always.'

James looked at him with a pouting face.

'These few weeks you're like a fucking cherry you are,' complained his best friend of a tosser, 'off again.'

Sirius clapped his back and stalked off. Time waited for no one.

'Hey, mate!' James shouted in the empty hallway, his voice carrying on. 'Don't tell me you're ditching me for a wank!'

Sirius flipped him the bird as he walked away.

'Are you coming to History at least?'

He had to dodge a stinging hex James sent towards him.

'Skiving off!'

Prongs kept hexing him unsuccessfully until Sirius turned the corner guffawing all the way.

'Wanker!' his mate shouted. 'Oi, Snivellus, where are you going? You can't leave me as well!'

Sirius hurried off just as Snape started singing the Hogwarts Song at the top of his lungs.

Bugger had a nice voice as well, maybe he and James should sing duo.

The thought was hilarious and he snickered to himself not paying any mind to a lone pair of Hufflepuff girls trying to catch his eye as he strode towards the staircase. A brief run-in with the Slytherin was just the excitement that boosted his energy levels. Sirius glanced around and took out James's cloak promptly disappearing under. Having checked the map, he unhurriedly made way towards the North Tower.

Divination was not a subject Sirius gave much thought, but it was an easy choice of OWL class and, fortunately, it paid off with a breezy Outstanding. He didn't even consider continuing it afterwards, and frankly, could care less about grim predictions of Peidus or his Ravenclaw protégé who provided entertainment every time she supposedly fell into trance during breakfast.

Two turns ahead laid the corridor that connected the castle to the tower. Sirius settled to wait and took the map out again.

Snivellus was nowhere near the Charms classrooms anymore. Instead, he moved haltingly towards the ground level. James was already at the Great Hall with Remus, undoubtedly stuffing his face and admiring profile of Evans while she sniffed at him.

His stomach growled loudly in an empty corridor. Absentmindedly, Sirius rubbed it looking for Pete. His mate was with Kellaway at the library most probably perving on the new librarian, which in his opinion was not worth a hearty meal. He sneered at Umbridge name pacing along one of the shelves some distance away from Wormtail.

'—funny anymore, you are not getting anything from me until you return every last penny,' an angry voice came from the left.

'What's a penny?' another voice asked in a bored tone.

'You take Muggle Studies, don't you?' the first sounded incredulous.

'So?'

There was no reply, but in a moment, frustrated Lennox Jordan appeared in the corridor and stalked forward.

'Ease up, mate,' Bagman smirked slyly, following his friend unhurriedly. 'You need to get some and it'll all get better.'

Jordan grew red in the face as he passed Sirius but did not slow down.

'Bugger off.'

Derisive laughter was getting on Sirius's nerves.

'What?' the blond teen mocked. 'Girly is keeping you blue?'

Jordan abruptly stopped at the end of the corridor, shoulders tense and head hung low. Bagman winced, mouthed 'fuck' and in few large steps reached him, clapping his shoulder companionably.

'She's probably on period or something,' his smile was rueful.

Jordan signed heavily.

'It's been two weeks now,' he grumbled, features distorted by a bitter twist of the mouth. 'Our talk this morning was awful.'

Bagman scratched his cheek.

'Could be the news as well. That muggle-born healer what's-her-face was a shocker.'

'Beth Ashwell,' Jordan now wore a full-on grimace of pain. 'My dad went to school with her. Was the top of the year.'

'Well, Wynne's father is also one of those,' the blond contemplated the ceiling.

'What do you mean one of those?!' the dark-skinned wizard yelped incredulously. 'I'm also one of those, you arsehole!'

With fists tightly clenched, Jordan glowered but hasn't drawn the wand. Bagman did not care for his friend's outburst though and just waved appeasingly.

'You know I don't care for blood, Lenny.'

After a brief glaring contest, Lennox exhaled and shook his head tiredly.

'Call me Lenny again and I'll sic Black on you,' Jordan threatened without heat and the boys moved on. Sirius took this as his cue to intervene before they disappeared around the corner.

'Fellow Gryffindor lads!'

The loud exclamation had the desired effect, as both boys jumped and whirled around with wild eyes, Lennox's wand already clutched in his hand. Sirius smirked.

'It's time for a chat, Jordan.'

The wizard in question gulped audibly. Sirius blinked in confusion.

'I've got class now, Black,' he stepped from foot to foot. Bagman next to him stood straighter trying to appear taller.

'Peidus would not even notice you are not there,' Sirius noted Bagman's fingers twitching as he advanced. 'Maybe he'll make a prediction of your horrifying death.'

It took all his might not to burst into laughter right there and then. Their faces showed an absolutely comic terror. Sirius considered shouting 'Boo!' for a long moment as he tried to keep his face straight. A grin broke out though and the juniors visibly relaxed, Jordan smiling back shakily.

'Come along then,' Sirius pointed towards the door to the unused classroom near which he was invisibly loitering before.

Dejected, Jordan obeyed.

'See you later, Ludo.'

'What? I don't get to join?' Bagman seemed to find his voice.

'Another time mate,' Sirius stared the blond down until he shrugged in badly feigned boredom and stalked off.

Jordan chose a place few tables away from the door where he stood stiffly with his wand still out. When Sirius came in, locked and silenced the classroom, they were well separated by four rows of desks. This did not feel anything like a friendly meeting. His good humour was starting to wane.

'Why so strung up, Lennox?' Sirius asked not moving from the spot at the door, keeping hands down and in open view, trying to placate nervous teen.

Jordan exhaled, letting out a laugh, which was more of a croak. He stashed the wand away and dragged fingers through the hair.

'I've got a lot going on,' the fifth-year replied apologetically. Sirius relaxed but decided not to approach, instead slouching against the door and watching the lad step from foot to foot.

He cleared his throat. Whatever was the issue?

'So?'

There was a moment of silence when his impatience blossomed and almost resulted in some encouraging if not very polite words until finally, Jordan spoke.

'Same things really, Black,' the boy crossed his arms. 'She's being a proper student, goes to class, reads, writes the notes down, just…'

Sirius could not quite stop the tapping of his agitated foot. What was the deal with the dramatic pauses?

'Just?' he prompted.

'She doesn't do any magic,' Jordan said observing him. 'I only realized yesterday afternoon in Charms.'

Sirius clenched his fist until the knuckles popped. After weeks of exhausting attempts to get something new about Mirach, and the great reveal was right under his nose all along?

'And I think McGonagall noticed as well.'

Well, fuck. His Head of the House would definitely take note of the slack in a practical part of the lesson. Mirach was in for a treat.

'But why would she slack?' Sirius wondered out loud, confused.

'Hell if I knew. She's weird.'

Jordan's bitter tone made him sharply snap back to the conversation. Mirach was weird? Well, Jordan was an absolute dickhead.

Sirius clenched his jaw to halt the snarl. After taking a few deep breaths, he managed to gain some composure. Jordan reacted to the rising tension and went into defence position again.

Should've thought before opening his trap. Maybe, a curse to the ugly face could help?

'What the fuck is your problem?' Sirius couldn't quite hold back a sneer as he pointed jerkily between them. 'I can find another fifth-year to help me look after my cousin.'

When Jordan unsuccessfully tried to speak several times, Sirius whirled to the door reaching for the wand to dismantle the spells. What a colossal waste of time. The tosser deserved to get his ass whipped.

'Is your family with You-Know-Who?' the words rushed out from Jordan's mouth in a gush of short breath.

What family did he mean exactly?

Sirius slowly turned around. However his expression looked, it made the dark-skinned boy clutch at the wand.

'What?'

Jordan panted and perspired but stood tall and brave in the face of what he perceived danger. A true Gryffindor. Sirius was inappropriately overwhelmed by the ill-timed desire to cackle.

'Are you and her Deatheaters?'

Here he could not stop but guffaw. Jordan grew confused then outraged which only made Sirius laugh harder.

'Why?' he wheezed, 'why would you think so?'

His belly hurt from hunger and laughter but he kept at it for a full minute. Jordan was clearly hesitant about his judgment because he again looked like a confused and nervous boy rather than a wizard ready to duel for his life.

'Your cousin appeared in the Prophet the other day, you know,' Lennox elaborated not meeting Sirius's eyes. 'She was suspected to have been involved in the murder of the Grantleys.'

Padfoot threw his head back and eyed the cobwebs in the ceiling swaying gently in the air. Of course, she was. Mother probably went bonkers that Bellatrix ended up in the paper with such unsavoury commentary.

'Bella is a well-known blood fanatic,' he thought the webs formed a lovely pattern in their mysterious dance. 'I wouldn't be surprised if she killed them.'

At Jordan's sharp intake of breath, Sirius focused his attention back on the boy.

'Whenever have you heard me harass anyone because of blood?' this was a rhetorical question. Jordan went to reply.

'Evans is a muggle-born.'

'And I've never sneered at her, have I?' Sirius asked, scandalized. 'Last year Snape called her the M-word. I and James stood up for her!'

Jordan had a guilty but determined look on his face.

'There are whispers that Mirach is prejudiced.'

Speechless, Sirius gaped at the smug-looking fifth-year. How he could have missed that?

'And is she?' he managed to ask.

Lennox scratched his chin with the tip of the wand in an exaggerated move, contemplating the question.

'I don't know,' he shrugged in the end. Sirius bristled. Then why the fuck-? 'She is always alone reading and she doesn't talk much. There is a rumour she hates her House and doesn't speak to anyone because she thinks they are all lesser than her.'

That was such a nasty thing to hear regarding Mirach. Since she's been at Hogwarts and during all times Sirius discreetly followed her under the cloak she was shy and only ever read and studied. So what if she was unsocial?

'Right,' his temper raised another few notches, 'right.'

Sirius quickly cancelled the spells.

'Black,' Lennox said, 'I'm sorry about my tantrum.'

Padfoot glanced at him and waved dismissively before leaving.

'I'll keep looking after her,' Jordan called.

'Thanks,' he replied although his thoughts were already fully focused on Mirach.

He found her on the map easily enough hiding in the abandoned classroom few corridors away from where McClaggan liked to hold his Defence lessons. Sirius made sure no one was around, put on the cloak and went to the second floor.

The door was locked not a sound leaking outside. Sirius bounced on heels twirling the wand between his fingers. Mirach was brilliant at protective enchantments but tended to focus on blood. Sirius reckoned she would grow out of it once she read more appropriate books of the Hogwarts library. Her preferences at the moment, however, were to his advantage. Sirius pricked his finger and let the drop of blood touch the dark wood.

The door swung open, inside was quiet. He hurried through and towards the corner of the classroom trying not to make a sound. A sweet and unpleasant scent permeated the air. Mirach slowly looked up from the desk with wand half-raised in the right hand, expression annoyed. The witch didn't seem to notice his muted steps or was in any way surprised with the disruption. As abruptly as it opened, the door shut itself with an angry bang.

Someone was a little upset today.

Sirius was restless slouching in the corner. He still hadn't caught Mirach practising magic alone and was eager for new information. Soon, his interest strayed. After several minutes she was yet to be successful in casting any spell. The stick rested listlessly in her palm, she didn't say any incantation and no magic was done.

Her practice confused him as he kept observing. Why would she not speak and see if it works then? Could she have been practising silent spells? She didn't make wand movements either. Questions piled until he started contemplating showing himself.

Mirach screamed.

It was a painful sound that promptly turned his brain empty of thought. The girl threw the wand as far as she could which wasn't much as she couldn't move her arm fast enough or had enough strength. Her mouth twisted in a resentful sneer, eyes filled with frustrated tears, while the air around thickened like in the evening before the midnight storm.

The desks lifted and floated all around the classroom. Sirius was about to join them but he was quick to cast a sticking charm on his feet. Mirach stood in the midst of a hovering chaos right hand extended, palm open. She breathed deeply, curls sticking each and every way swaying like underwater. Her eyes could have been easily compared to bluebell flames. Sirius felt a tickle of fear raise the fine hairs of his arms. His animagus would have certainly been snarling in alarm.

The witch slightly spread her fingers and the desks flew and slammed into the walls with great force that had the hardwood splinter all around. Sirius was lucky to have missed any bit in his face but just like the tables, he was pushed roughly into the stone bricks which were fortunately close behind him. Still, he groaned in pain.

Mirach who was gazing around with a heart-broken expression heard the noise. She turned and scowled at the corner where he was, then slightly raised her right hand again. Sirius gripped the wand as his heart skipped a beat and another.

Nothing happened. Sirius exhaled softly. Mirach frowned, rubbing the forehead.

The fingers of her hand twitched and the wand came flying. Next spell must have been a reparo. The desks instantly fixed themselves, some so fast, they exploded. She sighed resignedly, put the stick down, and successfully repaired the rest of the wreckage. Once the order had been restored Mirach accioed the feather and the metal band, levitated them on the table in front of her and settled to continue the practice of what must have been a switching spell. Her demeanour was once again calm and collected.

Sirius, on the contrary, couldn't relax for a long while. His back hurt like a bitch, head pounded in rhythm with his erratic heartbeat. He was hungry and above all, he wanted to confront her there and then. What he had just witnessed was a magic tantrum worthy of those their grandfather Pollux was famous for. Add the wandless spells, Mirach obviously had the talent for, and it became a deadly combination. The chills run up and down his spine.

Could she truly be twisted as the rumours implied?

He studied Mirach's persistent attempts to cast the spell over, and over, and over again. She hadn't stopped once for the next hour. Anyone would have been frustrated if their wand didn't work properly. Mirach could not be like most of his twisted family. James was wrong. The rumours were lies. She saved Andromeda. She escaped from her family. She was sorted into Hufflepuff for Merlin's sake!

Dumbledore made sure to promote his tolerant views not only by admitting her at an unprecedented age of fifteen but also by sorting the witch in front of the whole school. And how loudly Sirius laughed. A Black in Hufflepuff! Cousin got one over on him a few minutes after she stepped into the school. Mirach's face was so fabulously flabbergasted it immediately set him off. The badgers glared for a full week afterwards.

However fantastical the event seemed, the howler that came to her during lunch a few hours later was proof enough of the reality of the mad Hat's decision.

You dare show your face at Hogwarts and besmirch the family name further by not joining a respectable house. Blood traitor! You have made your choice now, girl. And let me tell you, when you are found in the gutter among the filth you belong with no true Black will mourn you or seek retribution. You are no daughter of mine! Shall I ever see your face again I will not hesitate to do what I should have done years ago.

The letter blew up in front of her face, but the bits of paper froze for a second then two and as Mirach slowly lifted both hands off the table with her wand clutched in the left, what remained of the vile message floated up and exploded several times over, multiplying. Kids screamed. McGonagall was rising from the table only to be waved at by Dumbledore who observed Mirach curiously.

As soon as the charmed ceiling was completely obstructed by the cloud of multiplying paper, it parted in four places, each separate section changing colour and swarming towards one of the student tables. With a slight turn of the wand, followed by a startled laughter, Mirach had green and silver snake doing zigzag dance and winking above the Slytherin table; blue and bronze eagle making pirouettes while artfully spreading wings above the Ravenclaw; yellow and black badger rotating on its head and wiggling limbs above Hufflepuffs; and red and gold lion stretching the front and back paws and rolling over above Gryffindors. A moment later each mascot did a kulbit and rushed head first towards the middle of each table making the students yelp and scatter from their seats by exploding in a flurry of colourful paper that seemed to shrivel and disappear into the non-being.

A hush fell over the hall similar to the silence immediately after the howler, although its quality was much more cheerful. Sirius whooped which James copied immediately and the students roared, and applauded, and guffawed. Dumbledore rose from his seat and joined the applause. He waved his wand making the food vanish, soon the tables disappeared and finally, the benches were gone once everyone was standing. The view of the charmed ceiling was obstructed once again; this time by the dancing and flopping yellow daffodils and fluttering butterflies and soon the waltz of flowers played.

Many younger students of all houses formed pairs and started dancing. First years gazed open-mouthed at the daffodils pointing here and there. Sirius run to Mirach gathered the petite witch in his arms and twirled her around. She beamed in the most radiant way, and everything was so exhilarating he could have combusted.

Sirius shook his aching head dismissing all worries about her possible intolerance. Mirach was disowned by Blacks, openly threatened by her own father. There were no sinister plots. The chances of her following Bellatrix's path were slim. She was a diligent student, who had a problem with her new wand.

His lip curled just by thinking that the witch was denied her birthright for so long. Sirius reckoned late bonding affected the connection, as he watched her cast repeatedly. Cousin had a hell of determination and patience.

It was bizarre, how contradictory Mirach's magic behaved. She successfully performed advanced transfiguration in the Great Hall but could not do a simple switching spell. Weeks ago at Ollivander's, her first spell was a patronus but an hour ago the witch failed at reparo. Sirius let his pounding head fall into his palms flexing fingers and massaging the scalp to appease the pain. He was positive the problem had to do with the wand.

Ollivander brought it out after looking at them both for a moment: 'Ah, youngest miss Black!' Apparently, wandlore rendered any disguise redundant. Once in her left hand, the rowan wand produced the strongest reaction Sirius had ever witnessed. The air tensed with energy, a gust of wind scattered parchment helter-skelter, candles burned with flames foot high.

'Go on then, casting would strengthen the bond,' wizard said his pale blue eyes observing her with interest.

Mirach wore the most relieved and elated expression, which Sirius found unbearably sad. No one should be deprived of their magic! The witch nodded and gave the wand a little twitch. The tip spilt the whitest mist into the shop that illuminated every corner and dragged him out of the resentful mood.

They had to leave right away though. Glamoured Andromeda rushed them out after there were several explosions at the other end of the Diagon Alley. As they twisted on the spot at the front steps of Ollivander's, to the left Sirius glimpsed a woman with a familiar head of inky black curls who exited The Idle Stories. Sure enough, the next front page of The Prophet was devoted to the explosions and the murder of the muggle-born owner of that bookstore Michael Idle. The news also reported his half-blood assistant Natalie Holkham to have been admitted to the Janus Thickey Ward because she was driven insane.

Mirach had no connection to whatever Bella devoted her time to. She was with him the whole trip, while Andromeda purchased other missing supplies. She was also genuinely worried when they apparated. Cousin could not be a blood fanatic.

'Permuto,' Mirach said and the feather she was pointing the wand at exploded.

Sirius would have fallen if he wasn't already on the floor. Getting to his feet he reckoned that reaction was why she didn't speak the incantations. What a truly bizarre situation. Sirius scratched his stubble dismissing the problem for the moment and cast tempus silently. It was 14:34 and high time for her Defence class. A few minutes later, however, Mirach was still practising transfiguration. Just as he prepared for another long hour, the witch summoned her bag and strolled out. Sirius sulked about not getting a word of goodbye, shook off the cloak and went to investigate her study station. The feather weighted at least 2 pounds and the metal band was lighter than his lunch today.

Was she successful finally?

Stomach growling, Sirius went to the kitchens, his mind not able to concentrate on anything but food. After gorging a hearty meal provided by the elves his throbbing head was still fuzzy, so he invisibly wandered the halls jelly-jinxing several snakes along the way, which contributed to already circulating whispers that a ghost had it out for Slytherins. Sirius cackled just thinking of it.

He tried to do some assignments but failed miserably as his thoughts kept looping around Mirach's tantrum, their trip to Diagon Alley, and the rumours which in his imagination grew more outrageous on each repeat. By dinner time the parchment in front of him was still blank. The smarting inside the skull only intensified, his throat was dry and rough as sandpaper.

The food tasted bland, the pumpkin juice – heavenly. He couldn't get enough. The Great Hall was filled with loud and annoying noises. James was yet to shut up about the high note he made Snivellus reach with the help of stinging hex. On the third encore of the story Evans was grinding teeth so hard, the tendons of her neck stiffened. With flushed cheeks, she silently got up and walked out. Remus sat pale and disapproving of both James's story and Sirius's skipping of History. Pete snickered to himself about something they definitely didn't want to know.

Somehow, he managed to survive, and once they were in the Marauder's corner of the Gryffindor tower Sirius collapsed in the chair, hands going to his pounding temples. Belly full of juice made him extremely uncomfortable. Yet, he was thirsty. His mates pestered him until Sirius snapped that 'Everything was bloody fine!' Such a response put James in the mood. Remus frowned but continued with his homework. Peter gaped but quickly settled for attentive worship-listening to James's nonsense that he liked to indulge in.

Sirius rolled the fag careful not to drop a pinch of tobacco on the floor while James watched with raised brows running mouth with some poppycock. He smoked greedily sucking the fumes in pleasure. Remus looked up frowning, exchanged confused glances with James who burst into laughter.

'What the fuck mate?'

A half an hour of humming noise later, Sirius was ready for a kip. Relaxing further into the chair he missed the glint in James's eyes that watched him attentively. He yelped from the sharp pain in the shin. Rubbing the sore spot, Sirius looked for the fag he dropped earlier. It wasn't on the table or under the chair. Slouching against the armrest on the floor he swallowed several times. His mouth was drier than McGonagall's humour.

Prongs flopped on the floor opposite of him with a constipated expression. Sirius saw double and closed the eyes lowering his tender head on the padded surface.

'I asked Mirach to join us,' Prongs exclaimed.

His brain was aching and slow but James could only talk of one thing so close to the full moon.

'You did not,' Sirius croaked and swallowed a few times. He cast aguamenti aiming in the mouth. Water spilt everywhere. Any sleep left him in a couple of groggy blinks.

'Buggering hell!' Remus frantically waved the wand getting rid of the spillage on his essay. The ink was completely smudged on half of the scroll. Scowling, Moony packed and stalked off.

'I'm talking to Remus now, mate,' James stared right at him.

From the corner of his eyes, Sirius saw a bright flash. He drew some smoke into his lungs. Why did he feel so buoyant?

'You are a wanker, Prongs,' Sirius concentrated on the burning fag in his fingers rather than doubling image of his best mate and the funny floating sensation in the limbs. 'She cannot come, she is still unwell.'

James messed his hair sitting straighter.

'I had to... apologize. I was a real berk'.

'Ha!' he pointed a derisive finger. The fag was gone again. Sirius dropped on wobbly fours.

'You have to admit, Padfoot,' James joined in his crawling search party, 'she was damn annoying with that manner of hers… What the fuck are you doing?'

Sirius forgot the hunt and sent a curse which Prongs dodged, swiftly jumping to his feet. He ambled around mocking Mirach's style of walk.

'Did you see how she glides around the school?' James tittered, continuing with his one person runway show of a wanker. 'Evans got nothing on that!'

The red-haired witch left the room without a glance in their direction and while James stood dejected Sirius aimed and cast anteoculatia.

'Ah, shite! Padfoot, you are a twat!'

In a few seconds, James sported some quality antlers. Sirius guffawed from the floor.

'You finally got a real pair!' Peter's laughter was contagious and soon all Gryffindors in the common room were in an uproar. The fun reached new heights after Pete was jinxed to dance but promptly died out when Remus cancelled the spell.

James felt the antlers, moving his head frantically in an attempt to take a look. Sirius was wheezing on the floor, sides hurting.

'Fuck you, Padfoot, that was low,' Prongs pouted. 'And I already apologized to your cousin,' he flopped down next to him. Sirius couldn't catch a breath from laughing. 'She is a real twat though, you know.'

This time his stinging hex was faster than antlered James's reflexes. Sirius sniggered laying down on the blissfully cold stones.

'It's true!' Prongs threw his arms in the air. 'I asked her to come and she had the gall to pretend not to know what I was even talking about!'

'Why would she?' Remus asked bewildered. Frowning, Sirius rose on forearms. There Moony sat at the table with his neat homework as if he had never left at all. Something inside his skull gave a nasty throb and he collapsed back on the floor.

'Alright, so she didn't pretend or whatnot, she just...' James's voice was getting distant and fuzzy. 'I don't know, she looked confused and then put on this stupid blank face...' The floor was a quicksand that swallowed him whole.

Sirius sat up with a jolt. Smirking James was above him triumphantly holding the wand.

'Now, Paddy-Pads, you need to explain yourself.'

Sirius got up shakily. The walls were spinning around in time with throbbing in his temples.

'Nothing to explain,' he grumbled trying to move past his mate and get to bed.

'I don't think so,' James artfully manoeuvred them to the sofa. 'You are spying on her, so spill, what did you find out?'

The common room was empty but for the two of them. The clock chimed one in the morning. Sirius yawned stretching the limbs. The flashes behind him were annoying but didn't provoke more pain in his brain like earlier. His body was not floating anymore.

'I'm not spying,' his mouth was full of cotton. Sirius tried to spit it out. 'Looking after.'

He got up fully intending to go to the dorm. Regulus stood by the staircase.

'What?' he blinked and his brother was gone. James was still talking.

'…cloak, running off after every class. You've abandoned us, mate! And the map,' Prongs waved it around. 'How long were you going to keep it?'

Heart stuttering, Sirius couldn't shake off the vision as he watched James ramble.

'…romeda didn't ask you to spy on her every step, only to check on her from time to time-'

What?

'What?'

Acid filled his mouth and he doubled over, ready to be violently ill.

'Padfoot!' James was at his side immediately.

'How?' nausea passed as suddenly as it came. Sirius slowly straightened clutching at James's robes. 'How would you know what she asked?'

Prongs's mouth twitched, breathing stammered.

'I've read her letter to you,' he replied in a hoarse voice.

Pain flared in Sirius's skull. His chest constricted, a sharp throb shot through its middle. Face contorted in a disdainful grimace, he shoved his best mate and watched him trip on the stone and fall.

'What other letters did you read, James?' Sirius asked through clenched teeth. 'Did you read one from my brother?' he felt hot and cold at once. 'What did you think?'

Prongs stared up with wide eyes, glasses askew, his expression open and vulnerable like in the third year when they faced their boggart. Sirius sneered feeling a traitorous itch inside the nose. Not able to look at his friend anymore, he spun around and stormed off.

The candles flickered in the bathroom as he jerkily disrobed. The reflection was distorted, but Sirius had no intention to watch his disgusting self. The water was blissfully warm. The shower massaged his sore head. The ache in his chest smoldered like coal on unprotected skin. He pummelled the wall. The scream was stuck in his ribcage tearing him apart.

'A waste of space,' mother called him.

His parents were uptight delusional bigots. His cousin was an openly murderous fanatic. So-called friends read his private correspondence. His foolish brother was a supremacist wanker. Sirius didn't care about anyone's opinion and gave no fucks about little Slytherin's idiotic thoughts. He did not feel relief when Regulus agreed to meet at the beginning of the semester. His eyes did not burn when Regulus smiled tentatively in greeting. He was not upset when Regulus stormed off. Sirius had no business with the Slytherin anymore.

Tears came and mixed with the water.

They gazed at each other closely for the first time in years.

'Have you made up your mind?' his brother's voice was hopeful and warm. Sirius basked in it. If only they could forget their parents and support each other.

'This nonsense again?' he waved a hand dismissively. 'I wanted to talk about Mirach.'

Regulus frosted over in a heartbeat and soon in front of him stood a familiar figure of a proper disdaining Slytherin prefect.

'You are here to talk about cousin,' he repeated slowly.

'Yeah,' Sirius was familiar with the mood swings. Mother used to flip like a coin. And he was the unreasonable one?

'It took you several months to finally come to me,' his nostrils were flaring, 'and you want,' voice dropped to murmur, 'to talk about Mirach?'

Of course, he didn't come here to discuss their hag of a mother or the sinister plots she filled Regulus's head with. Sirius drew a breath to ground himself. He craved to talk to his brother without fighting for a change.

'First, I wasn't the only one doing the ignoring,' Sirius counted fingers in rising agitation. 'Second, Mirach most probably will come to school.'

'Third!' he exclaimed when Regulus opened his mouth. 'This idea is laughable. I am not going back!'

Sirius felt quite proud at rendering his articulate brother mute. Surely, he came to the same conclusion. The temperature in the room dropped further.

'Our mother is attempting reconciliation, Sirius,' Regulus glowered at his poorly suppressed sniggers. 'You really hurt her.'

Sirius's eyes bulged in disbelief, sneer curled the lips.

'Mother is a heartless bitch,' he spat.

Regulus hissed, whipping out his wand.

'Gonna curse me now, brother?' Sirius was ready for the inevitable duel. It seemed his wish for a calm talk didn't come true this time as well. He signed heavily. At least there was always another day.

Sirius was in defence position as soon as Slytherins's hand moved. The door behind them opened with a bang. Regulus searched his face for a long moment dark eyes glowing, brows furrowed, jaw set.

'You are no brother to me.'

Sirius could have sworn he was hit with incarcerous. But he didn't collapse and still had control of all movement. The ropes squeezed around his chest so tight Sirius could not catch a breath. His throat closed chocking him, eyes burned as if about to melt. Distantly, he heard the pounding.

'Sirius!' James barged in with a shout after blasting the door off its hinges.

'Sod off!' he threw the soap bar at Prongs which struck him in the forehead. James cussed.

'I only read ONE letter, Padfoot,' he flapped arms around aggressively nearly slipping on the floor in agitation. 'One fucking letter because I was worried. I swear I touched no other.'

He breathed shallowly, clenching and unclenching the fists. His hair was an even bigger mess than after the Quiddich match. More so, James's expression was so earnest and fragile, Sirius could not look at it. He could not speak either. Why couldn't Regulus be like that?

'Right,' he whispered sagging against the wall, 'right.'

James grinned messing his hair vigorously, dislodging the glasses in excitement. Sirius had seen the expression many times during the summer in response to each inevitable pardon fondly granted by Euphemia to her son.

'Will you bugger off though?' Sirius watched the patterns water created in its run down the stones. 'I'm starkers.'

Getting into bed after the pity fest was blissful. His head was light, mind empty for once. The covers and mattress were soft, pillows feathery.

'Hey Padfoot,' James mumbled, no doubt close to sleep himself, 'teach me that antler spell. Snivellus would never see it coming.'

The cat was sat at the door swishing its tail angrily. Sirius bared his teeth and hissed, and it grew frightened. Regret twisted in his gut and he went to console the animal, picking it up. The kitten purred loudly, seeking shelter in his arms, burrowing into his neck. Sirius settled back on the bed. An enormous acromantula spiralled down from the ceiling, its hirsute legs stretched menacingly towards him. Sirius startled awake.

The room was quiet and dark, but his mattress was full of strings, blankets suffocated him. Sirius padded to Prongs's nightstand, grabbed the map and settled on the floor leaning against his mate's bed frame. Regulus was in the Slytherin dorm. Sirius watched his unmoving nameplate until he was about to doze off. Checking the Hufflepuff dorms jolted him out of it at once. Heart racing, Sirius frantically searched for Mirach.

'James!' he shook his mate. 'I can't find her!'

Prongs sat up wincing from the wand light. Remus grumbled something in his sleep. Pete turned to another side.

'Where is she? Where is she?' Sirius was breathing shallowly scanning every corner of the map. How he could have lost her as well?

James squeezed his shoulder and joined the search.

'We have to go to Dumbledore!' Sirius scrambled up and paced. He wasn't going to fail anymore. His scalp hurt from all the tearing he's done to his hair. 'We have to-'

'There!' James shouted pointing at the map. Sirius flopped down unceremoniously.

Mirach was by the Quidditch Pitch.

'We have to go!' he snatched his wand, grabbed the broomstick and turned to flabbergasted James. 'Let's go!'

Bespectacled teen lifted his shoulders, face unsure, and blinked slowly. Sirius snarled and stalked off to the windows.

'Wait, Padfoot!'

They raced all the way down in a blink. The filly was taking a nap peacefully in the tall grass. Sirius laughed softly sweeping the windblown hair away from his eyes as relief poured in the bloodstream cancelling out the adrenaline. Prongs made an irritated noise and dramatically threw hands into the air. Sirius transformed. His headache was instantly gone, lights didn't flash in the periphery anymore. Senses sharpened, but he had no desire to sniff around. He was exhausted.

'Wha-?'

Padfoot growled for his mate to shut up and curled next to Mirach. James signed, looked skyward and messed his hair.

'I'm not sleeping as Prongs!' he whisper-exclaimed. Padfoot twitched his ears already drifting off.

With a long-suffering sigh, James settled on the other side of the filly.

Sirius came awake gradually to the unpleasant feeling of his toasty neck cooling down. He blinked and everything sharpened in the darkness around. Silver filly stood above James, its muzzle almost touching his sleeping face. Padfoot changed and approached. Mirach blew a gentle breath and transformed stumbling forward. Sirius caught her by the slender arm.

'Just like Harry, isn't he?' she mumbled still looking at Prongs.

'Who?' The question startled her badly. Mirach turned to him blinking rapidly, face - a mask of uncertainty. She rubbed her forehead with a slightly trembling hand.

'Someone I knew once, I think,' she whispered hiding her face. He was burning to ask more questions, but couldn't bring himself to upset the girl further.

Sirius looked Mirach over, filing away the messy silver ringlets, which defied any glamour or dye, shining in the moonlight; her slight form though not as gaunt as a month ago; her pretty big eyes with dark circles around them. The need to protect pulsed in time with his pounding heart. But how was he to make sure she was true?

'Why are you not in the dorm?' he asked holding back the urge to brush the curls away from her cheeks.

'Couldn't sleep,' she had to crane her neck to look up at him. 'You?'

'Same.'

How was he to ask?

'How did you find me?' she murmured, breaking their staring contest.

'I looked.'

Mirach hummed and drew a huge breath lashes flattering. She was so small and fragile.

'The air is fresh out here,' she said looking at the lightening sky.

It was his turn to hum.

What should he ask? Do you believe in blood purity? Are you like Bella? Do you worship Voldemort?

'Are you happy here?' was the question that burst through. 'Are you happy among Hufflepuffs?'

Sirius felt sick after this cowardice attack but couldn't make himself hurl accusations at her. Mirach's gaze was piercing, dark eyes glistering.

'My house values effort above anything else,' she replied carefully to the unasked questions, playing by his rules. Sirius let out an involuntary chuckle.

'You are such a Slytherin though, cousin,' he breathed out, fondly smiling. Mirach raised her eyebrow.

'So are you,' she smirked at his scowl and went to caress his cheek. The hand was trembling, which caught her attention. Face going blank, Mirach dropped the limb. It flopped listlessly to her side. Sirius frowned and bit his tongue to stop the million worried questions.

'I ought to go,' she started off slowly towards the castle. Sirius rubbed his neck in frustration. How was he supposed to look after her if she didn't let him?

'Mirach,' he reached the witch in three large steps and clasped her cold slim wrists. 'You can always talk to me, yeah?' He managed to startle her again. Surprise broke through the bland mask.

'Yeah,' she replied and tried to pull away. No, it wouldn't do. He wasn't going to simply let go anymore.

'I mean I'm looking out for you,' Sirius strengthened his hold, needing her to understand what he didn't say, couldn't say out loud yet.

'Yeah,' the witch repeated with a gentle smile squeezing his hands slightly. Sirius let go and watched her amble to the castle. The brightening sky tinted the silver hair violet. He was going to make sure Mirach didn't stray like his idiot brother. The resolve to make everything right for once burned inside him like flames.

Sirius yawned and kicked James's shin. Prongs jolted awake with an indignant yelp. Sirius stretched as the first rays of sunrise warmed his upturned face. Ahead lied a new day and he's got a witch to protect.