Chapter 4: Care and Confession

Once they were outside of the compound Reid got on his phone, calling Hotch. "Sir, we need you to come to us. I'll explain when you get here, but we need the SUV." Hotch didn't ask any questions, but his tone was concerned as he agreed.

While they waited Reid spoke softly to T. "We're going to get you help, okay. Clean you up, and you'll be okay. You'll be fine, just trust me."

T groaned, hands gripping Morgan's FBI vest, unconsciously nuzzling his shoulder, and making Morgan very uncomfortable. Morgan shifted the weight in his arms without a fuss however.

Reid shook his head, mouth slightly agape. "What did he do to you?" he mused out loud.

T answered, even though Reid hadn't expected one. "Punished. I was bad. Needed to learn… lesson."

"What lesson?" Reid asked.

"Never disobey, the boss. Never let the one you're watching OD. Never lose the client. Never get… distracted." A breath. "I almost let you die, I thought you had. Because I was… busy… distracted… I lost you."

"But you also saved my life. You called Gideon, and he called 911, and you both saved my life. I would have died if you didn't contact anyone."

T whimpered, almost in denial of the truth, just as the convoy of SUV's pulled around the corner.

Reid opened the back door, and crawled in, letting Morgan put Tamesis across the seats, head in Reid's lap. "We need to get him to a hospital."

Tamesis let out a short scream, "No! No no no. No hospital, I can't… they'll find me. They'll find me, Reid. I can't let them."

"Okay, okay, just calm down, T. Calm down. No hospital… I can see you're scared." Reid looked up at Hotch in the driver's seat, confused, looking for guidance.

Hotch frowned, "He needs a doctor, he needs those wounds tended to."

T murmured to Reid, "You're a doctor."

Reid smiled sadly, "I'm not that kind of doctor."

T winced, but tried his best to put on his sassy attitude. "Your point?"

Reid shook his head, "You're impossible." He sighed, "I'll take you to my place. Most of your injuries just need to be disinfected and wrapped. I'll take care of it." He looked up at Hotch who had a disapproving look on his face, but put the SUV into gear and started down the road.

"You shouldn't have done this." Hotch said, trying to be casual about it.

"Done what? Saved a life?" Reid replied, defensive. "Connors would have ordered his man to kill him. Trust me. I know him. I won't have a life on my hands."

"I wouldn't ask you to, but now we don't have what we came for."

"No, but he has the formula, the deaths will stop. Isn't that just as important?" Reid argued, subconsciously stroking T's hair.

Morgan cleared his throat. "Look, I don't really condone what Reid did, or rather how he did it. And I have no like for this man, but I wouldn't have stood back and let him die either."

Hotch sighed, "That's not what I mean. We'll talk about this another time. For now let's just focus on helping this man… your… friend." Hotch flipped on the lights and sirens, and headed towards Reid's apartment.

Morgan carried Tamesis into Reid's apartment and into the bedroom, laying him on the bed, and covering him with a sheet. Hotch and Gideon had dropped them off and were now heading to a drugstore to pick up some medical supplies. Reid stroked T's hair again, while looking up at Morgan.

"Thank you for helping me. I know you don't care for T at all, but it means a lot to me that you helped. That you trusted me in there. Just, thank you."

Morgan cast T a look of distaste, "'Don't care for' is an understatement. He aided your drug use."

"He kept me from ODing." Reid countered.

"He stole you away from us, when we were trying to help."

"No, I left. He kept telling me that he could see how much you guys cared, and that I should go back to you, but I didn't want to. He had nothing to do with it." Reid's voice raised in volume as he defended T.

"What about how he let you live in an ice cold basement?"

"Actually, he made Connors give us a hotel room. Warm. Room-service. All paid for care of Alexander Connors. He gave me a good life, as good as it could have been. I got to know him. He told me about how he came to be where he was. That he ran away from home at 15, ended up whoring himself out on the streets until Connors found him at age 18. I might hate Connors with every inch of myself, but he saved T's life, and T saved mine."

Morgan balled his hands into fists as he shot out his final assault on T. "He raped you!"

"Yeah, and I liked it!" Reid spat out before he could stop himself. The room grew silent for several seconds, before Reid whispered. "Oh my god… Forget I said that. Just forget I said that." He turned away from Morgan, a blush growing on his cheeks, as Morgan stood with his mouth open.

"In case you've forgotten, I've been raped. It's not something you enjoy."

Reid looked back at Morgan, "You were a kid, it was wrong what happened to you, but it's not the same thing. Nowhere near the same thing."

"Reid, kid, How can you say that? We deal with rape victims, dead and alive, all the time. How is what they go through, different than what happened to you?"

Reid sighed, wishing this conversation would go away. "Because they're assaulted out of hate. It's violent. What Tamesis and I did… He was kind, and gentle. Loving even. I don't know what the word for it is, but it wasn't rape."

Morgan shook his head in awe. "He took advantage of you."

"It's not his fault. He has an addiction too, a sex addiction, and I'd rather he… fulfill his needs with me, than out on the streets where he could pick up a disease."

"How do you know he doesn't already have one?"

"Because, Connors demanded regular STI tests from him. He wouldn't allow him to be 'imperfect'. Connors demands perfection from his staff. If Connors still had him, then he's clean." Reid replied.

Morgan sighed, still in disbelief. "I don't understand how you can care for someone who hurt you."

"He never hurt me."

"But, how could you like what he did?"

Reid shrugged, "I don't know. You can't control what you like and what you don't. It's a natural human function. I liked it." He bit his lip before continuing. "I've never been good with the ladies like you are. I've tried, but there's never that… spark? I've never been able to be more than good friends, never had the desire to be anything more. Being with T opened my eyes to things I would never have considered before."

"What are you trying to say, Reid?" Morgan questioned.

"You're not like me. We're not the same. You're not…" he choked on the word. "…gay." He took a breath, and the rambling began. "I mean, I don't really know if I am or not. But it would make sense given my physical reaction to the acts performed with Tamesis. And then there's the emotional connection, which is just as strong as the physical connection was. I'm sure that means I like him in that way. And even if I don't, he still means a lot to me, and…"

Morgan took Reid by the shoulders and his ramblings stopped. "You've never said that to anyone have you?"

"What? That I think I might be…" He left the word out this time.

"Yeah, that."

"I've never thought about it. Never even admitted the possibility to myself until just now. So no, I haven't told anyone. You're the first." He looked away.

"Thank you for trusting me." He backed up with a sigh. "I won't push the issue anymore. I just wanted to make sure you'd be safe with him."

"I will be." Reid said.

Tamesis coughed and opened one eye, "You know, just because a person's eyes are closed doesn't mean they can't still hear you. Are you going to quiet down now?" He forced a smirk.

Reid's eyes went wide. "How much of that did you hear?"

"Oh um… all of it?" he grinned. "Tamesis 'Tornado' Loman, recruiting one straight man at a time."

"Tornado?" Reid questioned.

"An old street friend used to call me that. 'Cause I blew away the competition. And gave the best blowjobs known to man. There were multiple reasons for the nickname. I'd forgotten about it until now."

Reid shook his head, "I should have guessed."

The sound of the door to the apartment opening drew their attention away. "Gideon and Hotch must be back." Morgan stated the obvious.

Reid nodded, and looked at T. "I'll be right back, try to get some rest." T nodded as Hypatia jumped up on the bed, and nuzzled against him. Reid turned, and Morgan followed him out of the room.

Gideon set a couple bags of medical supplies on the coffee table while Reid and Morgan entered the room. Reid went to the bags and started digging things out, kneeling on the floor as he sorted them into piles according to purpose. The room was filled with silence; no one was sure what to say at that moment, until finally Reid broke the silence by declaring that he had finished sorting. He looked up at the other three men, "Did I miss anything?"

They all shook their heads. Morgan cleared this throat. "I think you should tell them what you told me earlier."

Reid swallowed hard, "I'd rather not."

"You can trust them, just as you trusted me."

Gideon and Hotch exchanged looks of concern and Reid shook his head. "I know I can, but this really isn't a good time."

"When is a good time?" Morgan questioned.

Reid shrugged. "Not now."

"Reid, kid, this is a good time."

A sigh from Reid as he looked to Hotch and Morgan, "I think I might… like T. Really like him. I might be… gay." He looked away quickly, and missed Gideon's knowing smile.

"Thanks for finally telling us." He said.

"You make it sound like you knew?" Reid looked back to him.

"Of course I knew. How many times since you came back to us did you ask me if I had heard from him? Asked me if I knew anything new about how he was doing, or where he was. I'm a profiler; it wasn't hard for me to figure out." Gideon replied with a fatherly smile.

Hotch nodded, "I suspected, but I didn't want to jump to conclusions."

Reid smiled, still embarrassed. "I guess I can tell everyone else too."

Hotch agreed, "Garcia will want to celebrate with you I'm sure."

"Right, I'll need to prepare for that one." He took a breath, "I should go tend to him," he said, glancing down the hall. "I need to make sure he doesn't get an infection or something worse. Thanks for your help though, I think I'd like to be alone with him for right now."

Gideon nodded, acting as the herder, and beginning to direct the other two out of the apartment. "Call if you need anything, and I'll check in tomorrow."

Reid smiled, "Thank you again. I'll see you tomorrow." Reid closed the door behind them, and leaned against it with a sigh. He took a minute to compose himself before grabbing some supplies and heading back down the hall to tend to T, a small smile playing across his lips.