Last Time: "Don't break her heart."
A/N: A lot of people told me that they could not view the photo of Rae. I fixed it! Just try clicking on homepage again and it will lead you to a new site. I haven't had much time to do anything with it except the basics, but check it out and once you get there, click on the Photo Gallery tab, which will lead you to two albums. Click on the My Little Princess one.
Lastly, my LLS, amblovestoread, who has a forum over at with my other story, The New Year's List, on it! Thank her and then go to the site to check it out (you might have to register first, though)!
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Looking at Buckingham Palace was like being in outer space and looking down at the world. There was so much to see, so many places to look, so much beauty and life, yet it still had this old world feel to it. I knew it wasn't built until the mid to late 1700s but it seemed too perfect to be so old.
The main residence of the royal family seemed to contradict the ways of today. While it was old but had a new feeling, the formalities of today were new but felt old. We weren't required to practically kiss the royals' feet like King Henry VIII insisted, but we still had to bow down. How degrading! It actually made me happy that Rae had some nerve in her to refuse the opulent respect that was requested by the royals.
If Rae ever did get her wish and became a princess I knew newspapers and magazines would be flying off the shelves with the latest uproar caused by "Princess Rae". I laughed, thinking of my little monster who was now sleeping peacefully, like an angel. What a deceitful and conniving little thing she was!
"What's so funny?" I faintly heard Edward ask.
I turned to look at him, drawing my attention away from Rae and the handful that she was. "Just thinking," I replied.
He chuckled, a weird look glinting his eyes. "I've known you for an hour and you are already the most infuriating person I know."
"Excuse me?" I questioned. "I think that is the most unwarranted bias against me ever. While we're throwing out insults let me grace your royal ass with something: you're arrogant. Too arrogant. I realize you're a prince, but what gives you the right to think you're better than anyone else?" I huffed.
He let me rant, his eyebrows raised until I stopped. "You finished?"
"Do you want me to go on?" I threatened.
"Um, no. But I really didn't mean it as an insult. It was actually meant to be some sort of twisted compliment but you always jump to the wrong conclusions, never letting me finish."
I stared at him carefully, eyes narrowed. "Okay, fine. Continue on then."
"All I meant was you're so quiet and pensive, and I can usually deal with that, but with you, it's stronger than a want—almost a need—to know what you're thinking. That's all I meant by infuriating."
"Oh." I didn't know what else to say. I was too focused on finding flaws with everyone else and I knew it was a weakness of mine…just one of many. They always say that putting someone else down makes you feel better, but for me that wasn't it at all. It was that by finding flaws with someone else, it allowed me to take focus away from my own flaws; in a way, it blinded me from reality.
"Bella," Edward started, nervously. "This is going to sound ridiculous," he chocked out.
I kept my eyes focused on my feet, shuffling them along the walkway as we made our way closer to the entrance. "Just spit it out," I urged.
"Okay," he swallowed, completely stopping his step and bringing his one free arm out to stop me, too. "I want to do something, but I need your help."
"My help? Edward, whatever it is, I'm sure there are more qualified people…"
"No, no. You aren't understanding."
"Elaborating might help then," I muttered.
He smiled slightly, hearing my rambling. "You don't have the world watching your every move. I want help doing something."
"You've already said that," I reminded him.
He groaned and bent his head back. "I know, but that's the point. I don't know what I want to do. I've never done something just to do it and frankly, I have no clue how to. I feel like a robot and the world is commanding my every move and emotion."
"So you want to feel what it's like to live?" I asked. This was dangerous territory and I really wish he hadn't suddenly picked up on the habit of spontaneity.
"Yes!" he exclaimed, relief washing over his feature. You would think I had uncovered a life long mystery by the way he was acting. "That's one of the main reasons I went along with Rae's insistence that I show her a castle. And I know Buckingham isn't really a castle, but I figured it was close enough and was best in proximity to where we were at at the time…" he rambled on, completely getting sidetracked.
"So we were your first reckless act?"
"Pretty much," he agreed. After a long pause he looked up at me and the intensity in his eyes, the pure desire for something unknown to him, startled me. "So will you do it? Will you teach me how to live?"
"Edward," I started out, slow and deliberate, trying how to explain this to him without giving too much away. "I'm not the best person to learn from."
Instead of looking disappointed, he seemed alarmed. His eyes were doing overtime, dashing and crossing over my features like lasers in a museum, and I'm sure his brain was working just as frantically, picking apart pieces of our conversation and overanalyzing them. "How could someone like…you…not know how to live?" he questioned hesitantly.
I ripped my eyes away from his scorching gaze and looked at Rae, the one person who could always bring a smile to my face. "I think we have each other's worlds a bit confused."
"So damn infuriating," he smiled sadly, wanting a better explanation.
"I think that someone in your position has the world on a silver platter. Everything's given to you. You can have anything or anyone you want. But instead, you're trapped in a superficial world whose chains bound you to a hellish nightmare. You see me as someone who is free to live without fear or without constant scrutiny. In reality, I'm barely making ends meet. I can't buy Rae all the toys her friends have, and I work so much that I'm afraid when I die she won't even remember who I am, let alone come to my funeral. I don't think either of us knows how to live. I think we're just making it by according to what seems to work best."
"I didn't know," he muttered, looking at me, though his eyes were distant.
"You couldn't have," I smiled.
"So, together then?" he mused.
I snapped out of my daze by the word 'together'. It was something I hadn't heard in a long time. Together as in equal parts, equal shares, equal responsibility. As strange as it sounded, I didn't know how to do something 'together'.
"What would we be doing?" I cautioned.
"Well, I would help you out with Rae so you wouldn't feel like you were abandoning her. You, in return, would take me to see the city and together, we would live a little."
"You've lived here your whole life and you've never seen the city? I highly doubt that, Edward."
He smirked. "Maybe I could also teach you how to not jump to conclusions…purely for my own benefit, of course."
"Of course," I laughed.
"You're right, I have seen the city but from a leader's point of view. Who needs help, what areas need fixing, but I've never seen it from a visitor's eye. Every speculative glance at something has been staged; every laugh of enjoyment has been forced. I want to fall in love with this city. And I want you to help me do that."
"I'll have you know I've never done something like this before, so I don't know how good of a tour guide I'll be."
"I don't want you to be my tour guide," he explained. "I wanted us to do this…as friends."
A turmoil of emotions bounced back and forth through me. Together. Friends. Words I've heard, but never known. One day was changing that. All of that.
"I think I'd…like that," I whispered, surprising myself with how honest a sentiment it was.
"Good," he smiled. "Then it's settled."
I laughed. "Actually, far from it. What about your duties as a prince? Events and conferences that carry you overseas?"
"You'll come with me. And little sunshine here, too."
I stuttered and gaped in amazement, awe, and finally confusion. "You can't do that. Too many people will be asking questions. And what about my job? And I refuse to let you pay for anything."
"Breathe, Bella."
"I don't know how," I practically screamed at him. When had I truly taken a breath? When had I let the air seep through my body like an aroma? When had calmness ever overtaken me so that it leaked through my pores? Not since I was a carefree and naïve little five year old. At six, life came crashing down like a bulldozer and nothing was ever the same.
"Give me the chance to teach you," he said gently. And at that moment I wanted to do this. I wanted the opportunity, the experience to at least break out of the shell I was living in and for once give myself a chance.
"Is it really as easy as saying yes?"
"I don't think so. I think like you said, there will be a lot of questions. And as for your job, start taking some vacation time. I bet you've never done that?" I smiled sheepishly in response and listened as he continued. "Whatever obstacles get in the way, though, we'll overcome them. I think we both deserve the chance."
"So where do we start?"
"What if we get acquainted with each others' lives? Homes, parents, siblings, significant others…?"
"Well, you've already met Rae. That leaves my dad and in all honesty he's nothing too exciting. We all share a house together and I'm sure it's the size of one of your bathrooms."
"Bella, in order to do this, we can't judge, or in your case, be so negative. I honestly wouldn't care if you lived with pigs and showered in mud. If that's where you came from, so be it. This is about looking toward the future and what it has to offer for both of us. I think we'll both be stepping into unknown territory."
"Does being a prince make you a wise man, too?" I laughed.
"No, being wise came with my extremely good looks. It was a package deal."
"Still as smug as ever."
"Still as bluntly honest when the situation doesn't call for it."
"Ass."
"Stiff."
"Hey! I resent that," I yelled, though my smile gave me away.
"You never mentioned anything about a significant other. What about Rae's father?"
"You jump tracks fast."
"Face it, Bella, I'm good looking, smart, and now smooth."
I rolled my eyes. "If you really want to know, you're going to have to be more serious than that."
"Fine, no more talking."
I grinned, practically proud of myself. I got a prince to shut up! How many people can say they've ever done that? Though that thought helped to brighten my mood, it was quickly dampened by the realization of what I was about to tell him. "I don't know Rae's father," I admitted.
"Adoption?"
"No."
"One night stand?"
"That's a…polite…way of putting it."
"I don't know, Bella. I'm all out of guesses."
"When I was 17, I was raped. At 18, I had Rae." I couldn't believe I had just admitted it to him. Him of all people. But five years desensitizes you in a sense, especially when you're used to nothing good ever coming your way. And if we were trying to get to know each, to understand one another, I felt a yearning to need to tell him. What happened was a vital part of my history, and a permanent piece of my future. It would always be ingrained into my body, my heart, my mind; Rae was living proof of that act.
"Her name," he said slowly, as if everything was shifting into place.
I nodded, letting him know he was on the right track.
"She was your ray. That's why you're so protective of her?"
"I think as a mother I would be anyways, but because of what happened, I am even more so. I feel like if I lost the one good thing that has happened to me, I would be nothing. Rae keeps me going and I think that was the main reason I decided to go along with your stupid, crazy idea. As much as I love my baby girl, I need another reason to want to live, you know?"
He nodded, looking down at the girl still sleeping in his arms, and softly kissed the top of her head. "In a way, I can't say that I'm sorry about what happened to you. I'm mad at the pain it caused you and how that excuse of a man violated you, but I think what you got out of it is the best thing that's ever happened to you. Am I right?"
I nodded my head furiously, silent tears cascading down my cheeks.
Edward used his hand to wipe some away. "She loves you more than anything," he whispered. "I think she adores you unhealthily. Must do wonders for your ego," he teased, trying to lighten the mood.
"Thank you," I smiled, a slight smile forming its way across my face.
"What are friends for?"
A/N: There you have it. The mystery (though I suspect you all knew) of where Rae came from. I know it's been done before, but I felt it suiting to where my story is going. Please know that Edward and Bella will be friends and not immediate lovers. I'm actually going to be realistic in this story, LOL (if you've read The New Year's List, you'll know I'm not exactly the most realistic writer in that story).
On this new website (the one I mentioned above in the beginning a/n), I've posted pictures of what I think Edward and Bella would look like in this story. I know the picture of Bella is actually who a lot of people thought should play Alice in the Twilight movie, but the picture I chose screamed Bella to me. (There is also a photo of Buckingham Palace.)
So, go ahead and review, and if you've finally seen what Rae looks like, let me know what you think, because I think she's just a doll!!