Present Time – Sometimeduring the Last Quarter of the Year
Third Person Point of View
"Man, that training just now was intense!" Hinata blurted out inside the locker room.
"Right? I thought my arms would fall off." Ryuunosuke answered while taking off his shirt, applying pressure on his shoulder in the process.
"And to think Coach Ukai said that this is just the beginning," Noya remarked as he opened his own locker.
Inside it were what you'd expect belonging to a sports club member – a school bag, several unkempt clothes, a water bottle, and some antiperspirant sprays. Though, amidst the pile of materials – which should really be cleaned up and organised, was a neatly wrapped and folded black jersey shirt. Noticing the sportswear, Noya pulled it out of his locker and turned it over, revealing a number 4 written in white ink.
"Ah, Nishinoya-senpai. You have two jersey shirts?" Hinata appeared behind the libero's locker door which made Yuu flinch slightly.
At that point on, the male libero cringed at himself.
A few months before – Somewhere in the First Quarter of the Year
"[M-Male Name]," said Noya, evidently calmer than previously. "You know, I'm... I'm sorry about what happened earlier."
After starting the mess that he made, Noya was called into the Faculty Room and was given a thorough speech by both his Homeroom teacher and the one who stopped the fight.
Wanting to confirm his friend's condition, the libero then scanned [Male Name] until he landed on a recently damaged area. "Y-Your leg!"
Noya quickly knelt to feel the limb of his neighbour, one hand gently raising the opening of one pant leg. Soon after, reddening skin welcomed Noya whose face went from calm to distraught.
"[M-Male Name]! I-I'm sorry! I-"
Without a second thought but with a frightened expression on his face, [Male Name] descended to slap the other's hand away.
"D-Don't mind that. No need to worry about me."
"No need? Your legs are still healing," remarked the worried libero. "Come on. I'll walk you home."
"I said I can handle this myself. No need to fret over it. It'll go away eventually."
"And if it doesn't eh? You will be spending months in the hospital again! And again, because of me!" Noya didn't think twice before fishing out something from his pants.
"I'll call your parents–"
Before Noya can press a button, his mobile device quickly flew off his own hands, crashing on the concrete walkway a few metres away. The owner felt surprised, but his friend beat him to it.
"I said no need to do something about it! I'll take care of this myself!"
"What the hell are you saying? [Male Name]! You're completely not well! Just shut up and let me help you."
"I'm feeling fine, damn it! I don't need your help! I don't need anybody's help! I can handle myself just fine!"
Emotions swirled inside [Male Name], eager to come out. The male himself already did, so there was more to come. Noya, on the other hand, didn't expect the sudden outburst. He stood unmoved, but obviously disconcerted.
"Ever since the beginning, it has always been myself, myself, myself! No one was there for me, no one spared time for me. Well, you know what? I can survive without anyone around me. In fact, I don't need all of you! You can all go back to your shit of a life, get crazy with whatever fuck you are dealing with, and just leave me alone!"
And [Male Name] dragged his legs away from the gates, leaving his friend speechless and blown. He never blew off like that, especially not in front of his best friend. But, what he witnessed back then simply made him understand everything. In the end, he will just be tossed aside by everyone he cares about. Maybe not now, but someday.
He already experienced all of it when he was taken and returned back at the orphanage. He shouldn't have been complacent just because he met people who didn't show those signs at first.
They are all the same.
Losing the motivation to wait for his cousin, he walked limply to the nearby bus stop, planning to reach the stop two blocks near his home.
On the other hand, Noya himself slowly gained his thought.
Nishinoya's Point of View
H-He never yelled like that before.
W-What was his problem?
All I wanted to do was help him.
I still couldn't believe what just happened. Sure [Male Name] and I had fights in the past, but never did he sound so aggressive. In addition, it wasn't new that he felt alienated but, again, never did he feel so strongly about it before.
While trying to piece together the puzzle, I dropped to pick up my tossed device. Checking if it was still working, I continued to lose myself in thought.
It was obvious that he needed help.
I guess I'll just contact his parents first. And then I will check up on him later.
B-But...
What would I say?
How did he get that swelling?
I don't even know where it– Don't tell me...
It was from...
Out of the blue, an angelic voice reached out to me. Turning my head towards the source, I saw a panting Kiyoko-san.
Oooh .
Kiyoko-san...
Even when you're out of breath, you still are perfect.
"Have you seen [Male Name]? I told him to wait for me here," my angel stopped in front of me, trying to gather information. Myself, on the other hand, was lost in Heaven.
For a few seconds.
"[M-Male Name]?" I was mumbling out of context at first. "A-Ah, yes! I did. But he left already."
"What?" My goddess was hurt. "I told him to wait here. He can't even walk straight. Why didn't you stop him, Noya-san?"
"He wanted to be alone. He didn't want my help after I offered, so I let him."
"But he can't walk home all by himself in that condition! I'll go look for him."
And Kiyoko-san left in a panic. I don't know if she headed to where [Male Name] was heading, but I sure know I don't want to leave her doing it alone.
She was right.
Why did I not make [Male Name] stay even after what he said? He was clearly in no condition to walk home all by himself.
What kind of a friend am I to neglect [Male Name]?
Gathering my strength and whatever I needed that time, I joined our manager in looking for my neighbour.
We spent all night looking for him. We went to bus stops, one after the other. We even headed to [Male Name]'s house to check if he has already arrived, but to no avail. Soon after, Kiyoko-san had to contact her aunt to check up on her cousin, but they, too, didn't get anything. In the end, they, too, had to search for their own son. I asked my own folks to help in the search and I was glad they were willing.
I was busy trying to call [Male Name]'s own number when I received a phone call from my mum who stayed at home in case someone would arrive next door. I immediately asked if [Male Name] already arrived at their house, but my mum's voice was louder than mine.
Her scream drained my own voice.
"Yuu! There was an accident at the children's park! Go check it out!"
Not wasting any second, I speeded towards the location with my phone still on my ear. There was only one children's park near our area, so going there was not a problem for me. On the other hand, my mum kept saying that she immediately felt bad when she heard the news, but I forced her to not jinx anything. Luckily enough, I was able to decently send a message to Kiyoko-san and Mishima Naomi-san about what my mother called about amidst rushing to the area like there's no tomorrow.
On the way, [Male Name]'s mum crossed paths with me and took me with her using her car. The moment we arrived at the scene, there was already a crowd. Several policemen were maintaining the curious audience while behind the yellow line was an ambulance.
Like my mum, I was starting to feel the worst. So, I squeezed myself through the human blockade, quickly dodging and charging towards the front, until I got to pass through one man in uniform.
Before I could proceed, however, another policeman caught me by the wrist and tried to escort me out of the area. I tried to struggle my way out of his tight grip, squirming my hand away from him, but he held strong.
It was when I was still tossing and turning when one emergency responder was lowering down on a nearby snow-white cloth laid down on the street something.
More like someone.
Truth be told, the moment I heard the sirens of the ambulance, how I wished [Male Name] wasn't involved in the accident. Or at the very least, he was sitting somewhere near or inside the hospital vehicle with someone attending to any possible bruise he got.
But never did I want to see him...
To be laid down on a white cloth, with red all over his clothes and his head.
At that moment, as if my inner strength finally erupted, I was able to release myself from the policeman's grasp and rushed towards the nearby responder. Not expecting someone to appear behind him, the dumbfounded medic dropped on the floor like a heavy bag as I quickly faced the lying person on the now soiled blanket.
The view was the most horrid one I saw in my entire life.
And just like how my strength came, it left in a snap. My knees unbuckled, my hands trembled, and my eyes started to water. Knees touched the concrete road while voices roamed in my head.
'This can't be possible.'
'This must be a dream.'
'Someone tell me this has to be a dream.'
But, sadly, it wasn't.
The uniform that looked like mine, torn in certain places. The hands which I used to hold, stained with red. The eyes which I wanted to see, completely shut.
It was [Male Name]. And dead. In front of me.
Third Person Point of View
Mishima Naomi later approached the kneeling teen, crestfallen the moment she saw what's up close. Her own son, her beloved son, was covered with blood which may be his or not. She immediately knelt in front of [Male Name], taking her son's lifeless body in her arms, and held it tight as tears burst on scene. Her shrieks of sorrow and sadness echoed the area, paining both the medic and the policeman from trying to separate her and her loved one.
Noya beside her didn't fare any different. He was also screaming from his heart as his own eyes shed tears non-stop. The male tried to shake his friend, yell at him, and even threaten him if he didn't wake up. But reality kicked in soon after and he rested his head on the lifeless corpse's hands.
In turned out that [Male Name] didn't take a bus as planned. To put it more accurately, he wasn't able to. Before he was able to ride a bus, the male passed by a convenient store and bought some items. The moment he got out, the bus already left. Hence, the male ought to walk all the way home, despite his bad legs. He didn't want anyone to find him, so he took a long way home, turning at a corner after corner instead of walking straight ahead. By the time he arrived at the intersection, one runaway vehicle rushed down the road, plowing everything and everyone within range, and smashed into the children's park, right in front of a now damaged penguin-shaped, playground slide in the middle of the park.
In the end, four people were hurt, two of which were badly injured. Three people lost their lives, the apparently intoxicated driver of the runaway truck, a salaryman who was walking home, and [Male Name]. On the scene, plastic bag from a local convenient store was later found and it contained two packs of melted ice pops. That bag belonged to [Male Name].
During the wake, the Mishimas, Shimizus, and the Nishinoyas frequently met, Kiyoko and Noya always near the coffin of [Male Name]. Both teens tried to be strong, but Kiyoko gazed at the eternally slumbering cousin more than Noya who, on the other hand, frequently burst into tears the moment his eyes laid onto his friend's lifeless body.
The other members of the Volleyball Club visited as well along with some classmates, schoolmates, and teachers. Representatives from the orphanage came in to express their condolence. It was a simple wake. And on the day of the cremation, litres of tears flowed for one last time, but it was Naomi, Harumide, Noya, and even Kiyoko who grieved the most.
To Noya, he pinned all the blame on himself.
If he was more attentive, if he was just more caring, more aware, if he only paid a lot more attention.
His best friend shouldn't have left him early.
The wide, gaping hole his friend left felt hell for the libero.
Back to the Present Time
Yuu felt disgusted about himself. But his underclassman was waiting for a reply.
"A-ah, yeah. I do..." He trailed off, staring down at the black fabric. On his face, a soft, sad smile was forming, away from the #10's sight.
"So you did ask Kiyoko-san to prepare another one." a tall second year spoke, earning the two short players' attention.
"Of course." That's all Noya replied.
"Noya-san," Ryuunosuke sounded serious. All of a sudden, the room temperature dropped. Chikara and Kazuhito took notice of this, while Hinata...
Let's just say he was being himself.
"I'm not being inconsiderate, but shouldn't you move on already? It's almost the end of the year."
"Move on?" Noya said hysterically. "Easy for you to say. You weren't the one who let him die!" At that point, Noya had screamed, startling everyone, but Ryuunosuke blew a fuse instead.
"We were depressed and sad when it happened. You're not the only one. But shouldn't you move on already? You can't keep on living in the past, Noya-san! It's unhealthy!"
"Move on? You're asking me to forget about him, aren't you? LIKE HELL I'D DO THAT!" A loud thud from the metallic lockers then rocked in the area.
"Stop with this nonsense!" In a fit of rage, Ryuunosuke stormed his batch mate and clenched the teammate's collar, both now glaring daggers at one another. The taller male was red with anger for the other while the libero...
Was swallowed with regrets and sorrow.
On the background, Hinata was panicking, frantically shifting left and right to ask for suggestions. The two other second years started to run towards Yuu and Ryuunosuke until the seemingly bald athlete started to speak.
"Do you really think [Male Name] would be happy if you keep doing this to yourself?! If he sees you're still grieving and feeling shit, would you really think it would make him feel better?"
Nishinoya then shifted his head to the left, avoiding the wing spiker's glare. This, however, did not deter Tanaka and continued.
"If [Male Name] would be here, seeing you hurting yourself, I'm sure he'd immediately scold you, make you kneel in front of him and explain to him the problem, and even laugh that you're worrying over nothing." Tanaka's voice slowly lowered as he spoke.
"But he's not here now, is he?"
Yuu returned his eyes to the teammate. With a scowl on his face, he continued.
"Because of me, because I was too focused on Asahi-san, that he... he..."
With a slight push, the taller male forcefully released the shorter one. Yuu then hang his head low as he started crying a long river of tears, tightly holding the folded shirt on his left hand.
"If I just didn't let [Male Name] go at that time, he wouldn't have run away! If I wasn't too focused on Asahi-san, I would have been there beside him, helping him in his rehabilitation, helping him in his studies, and seeing to it that he really felt no one was leaving him behind again. If I wasn't too much of an idiot, he wouldn't have walked off and got himself involved in that accident."
Eyes pained at the usually hyper libero, some clung on their shoulders in hurt.
"If I just continued on visiting him instead on focusing my attention on Asahi-san, h-he'd still be here with us, playing, laughing, eating with us..."
Unbeknownst to anyone, a bespectacled raven beauty entered the locker room and slowly wrapped her arms around the shaking libero. With her head looking down at Yuu, Shimizu started comforting him.
"Nishinoya-san, [Male Name] wouldn't be happy with what you're doing with yourself. Naomi-obaa-san already told you. You're not in the wrong here. You didn't want him nor anyone else involved in that crash to actually be there. Don't carry all the burden."
"Shi-Shimizu-san," Noya tried to glance at the female hugging him, his watery eyes clouding his sight.
"You're not the only who misses [Male Name]. We all do. There's no one around anymore to constantly yell at you or Tanaka-san for your antics, no one to help me talk to the teachers about practices and your grades, no one to accompany me to... to..."
Not handling it any longer, even the black-haired Shimizu herself started breaking down. Her soft whimpering caught Noya's and the others' attentions, shocking them all. They, well except the ginger head, knew how close Shimizu was to [Male Name], but did not expect the normally emotionally strong manager to let her tears flow freely again. Like on that day.
"[M-Male Name] would really be sad it he was to find out that we froze our time and continued on living without care for our own well-being. It'll be more burden on his part. Let us not do that to him, okay?"
Noya directed his teary eyes to the taller female cousin of the deceased [Male Name]. For the Shimizu Kiyoko to have cried like this again, with other people in the area, she must have also been greatly affected by her cousin's untimely death a few months back.
"Let us not waste [Male Name]'s effort, okay?" The messed-up manager softly asked the smaller libero, one hand cupping the other's cheek.
"I don't want to forget him. It's because I did that he died in the first place. If I do that now, he'll be forgotten for good."
"It's not a matter of forgetting. It's about accepting reality. I hate it that [Male Name] left us. It felt horrible when I arrived at the scene, to see him on the floor, but him not responding to me. It still does. I know you know how disturbed we were. But, if we do not embrace what has happened, it will be us suffering in the end. And we of all people know that [Male Name] wouldn't like that. It would worry him, sadden him, and even make him cry. If he was still here, do you want to do that to him?"
Noya shook his head sluggishly, still whimpering in tears.
"Again. I know it's hard, but it will be what he would want if we accept what happened and move on. Let time heal our wounds, not carve more to our souls. It's what he would want."
As if on cue, Noya started bawling once more. Cries echoed within the walls, but, unlike before, it felt different.
To Noya, he didn't want his friend to die. No one did. But all this time, he carried all the blame, the guilt, on his shoulders and let it burden him. As a friend of [Male Name], as one of the very few people the teen with [Hair Colour] locks opened up to, he finally accepted.
That if he doesn't want to upset his friend, wherever he may be right now, he should remain positive. And not let anyone hinder him in his path.
As they say, YuuOu Mai Shin [勇往邁進]. To fearlessly move forward.
If that's what [Male Name] wants, he should get it.
After clearing his sinuses, he used his right arm to wipe away the tears. Gaining a bit of strength back, the libero took a deep breath.
"Okay!" He clenched his palms into fists, energy starting to consume him. "Thank you so much, Kiyoko-san!" In a quick manner, the libero bowed to the female manager. Wiping her face clean with a hanky, a soft, bright smile graced her face.
"You're welcome, Nishinoya-san!"
"Well then," From the outside, the ashen-haired Mama Crow entered, his Papa counterpart right behind him. "How about we visit [Male Name] today? We haven't done that yet this school year, after all."
In the background, an orange-haired ball of sunshine wondered if he could come, knowing he didn't know the guy. His worries immediately dispersed when a shorter upperclassman, with a smile on his face, put weight on the decoy's shoulders. From the older player's hands, a wrapped jersey still hung.
"Don't worry. [Male Name] would love it. You may not know, but that guy actually wanted to make friends. Tons of them. It's just that he had some trust issues."
"Not to mention the shyness." Kiyoko added while walking herself out. "Don't forget the shyness."
"Come on! I want you to meet the most awkward yet very comfortable [Hair Colour]-coloured goofball I ever met. The mini Suga-senpai of the club, Mishima [Male Name].
Extended Ending
"But why the #4 though?" Hinata asked his upperclassmen inside a bus they rode.
He sat at the back of the spacious bus, the others were a seat or two away.
"[Male Name] was supposedly the #4, considering he was the first one in his batch to file his application form when they were first years," answered the raven-haired captain on his right, his arms folded on his chest.
"Ah, so the numbering is based on how early you pass your form, huh."
"Well, that, and..." Chikara added. He sat in front of the junior. "[Male Name] loved the number so much, he insisted that someday, he must be #4."
"Love? #4? Why?"
"No one knows." Yuu answered, his head resting on his arms acting like a pillow. He sat at the left of his underclassman. "He never told us. He said he'd bring it to his grave if he had to."
Of course, he won't tell anyone. Kiyoko said to herself while staring at the scenery across the window.
He told me it's something special.
...
It was when he met you, Nishinoya-san.
On the 4th of April, on the same park where he died.
You shared your ice pops with him when he was crying all by himself.
Hmm...
'Till the end, you really hid it from him, huh...