Chapter 4 - Mirror, Mirror on the Wall.

Several Days after a surprising Christmas...

In an abandoned classroom, Harry allows his invisibility cloak to slide negligently off of his Weasley sweater clad shoulders and onto the floor. The blurry shapes in the mirror before him begin to sharpen into focus.

Looking back at him, is a slightly different version of himself. Mirror-Harry is taller, and much healthier looking. In one hand is a wicked looking bowie knife, and at his back on either side of him are 2 adults.

"Hey mum, hey dad..." Harry whispers.

The 2 people in the mirror smile sadly. The beautiful red haired woman smiles lovingly, and strokes Mirror-Harry's head. The raven haired man that looks like a carbon copy of Mirror-Harry smiles reassuringly and places his hand on the opposing shoulder.

Further behind the trio are the Dursley's, once again enjoying the "loving" embrace of an anaconda. One Marge Dursley could be seen flailing desperately while her head is slowly engulfed by the business end of the snake.

Yet further into the depths of the Mirror, Little Whinging was noticeably burning to the ground, with random flaming muggles running about desperately before collapsing to the ground.

"Back again, Harry?" A voice intones in the room. Harry spins around and discovers the Headmaster smiling down at him. "I see that you, like so many before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised."

Harry glances back at the Mirror, and can see his parents making eyes at each other while a boy wearing a Slytherin crest cowers on the ground from Mirror-Harry.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at his student. "I trust by now, you realize what it does?" Approaching closer, the man continues without waiting for an answer. "Let me give you a clue."

In Harry's peripheral vision, his Mirror counterpart is now stabbing the Slytherin with reckless abandon as his parents snog each other senseless. In the background, the anaconda has made progress with it's generous meal. An enormous bulge could be seen within the body of the snake, and Vernon's fat waggling legs protruded from its unhinged jaw.

"The happiest man on earth could look into the mirror and see only himself, exactly as he is." Albus elaborated.

Harry now focusing directly upon the mirror, watched avidly as Petunia flipped end over end in the air before being deftly caught by the anaconda. The giraffe like woman then slid down its throat screaming silently all the way.

Harry finally broke his silence and chimed in. "So it shows us what we want…" He turned to look at Dumbledore. "Whatever we want."

"Yes..." The headmaster hedged. "And No."

Beside them inside the mirror, the anaconda coiled itself to bask under the sun with 4 visible lumps in it's body. Harry's parents were now starkers and pawing at each other on the ground. Mirror-Harry himself had progressed to carving a new face onto the Slytherin student he had just violently murdered.

"It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest and most desperate desires of our hearts." The headmaster revealed. "Now you, Harry… have never known your family. You see them-" The aging fossil continued nattering on about matters of unconditional love and other bullshit, while Harry refocused on his counterpart starting in on another student.

'Oh, that's inventive! I always wondered how you could use a household charm and a rubber chicken to torture someone…' Harry thought to himself.

"Remember this Harry…" The old man caught his attention. "This mirror gives us neither knowledge… or truth." Harry barely holds in a snort of disbelief. 'Funny… it just did!'

"Men have wasted away in front of it… even gone mad! That is why tomorrow, it will be moved to a new home. And I must ask you not to go looking for it again. It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live."

Harry returned his gaze to the mirror, and gained an eyeful of his parents in full blown coitus. His counterpart was now swinging a severed head over himself like a pair of knickers and dancing like a stripper working for a crowd.

The conversation with his headmaster leaked out of his ears faster than a Binns lecture as he contemplated how to combine a murder with a Weasley Twins inspired prank. 'Decisions, Decisions...'

- SVH -

Draco Malfoy had thought today was going to be grand. He had managed to bully a pair of first year girls in the common room, and exerted dominance over a second year hufflepuff on the 6th floor within the first 3 hours of waking. 'Yes, today is going to be a great day indeed!'

Nose pointed expertly skyward, he strutted up to the moving staircases to wait for it to swing his way. The blonde ponce's hands were planted at his hips, chest puffed out, and completely oblivious of the giant rubber ball that suddenly slapped him off the rail-less landing, nor the rope that had appeared around his ankle.

No one seemed to notice or care as he plummeted screaming downward at velocity past the hordes of students on the staircases. At the very bottom, his descent slowed and eventually stopped when the tip of his nose touched the floor.

A ranting Hermione, a still quite humbled looking Ron, and a carefree Harry strolled past the staircases, as Draco's magic rope reached maximum tension and yanked him screaming back into the air at high speed.

"-and I can't believe I forgot my bag in the library!" The bushy haired girl griped as the 3 friends continued walking out of sight. Harry silently noted to himself that he had used the wrong charm on Draco's rope, since he had intended it to be a noose… not a bungie cord. Shrugging, he smiled indulgently at Hermione.

"Bloody hell i'm hungry!" Ron blurted. "You can't keep a bloke running around looking for your things with an empty stomach!"

Hermione chooses to ignore the red head, and simply makes her way around the corner and into the Great Hall. She tosses her bag onto the bench beside her and takes a seat. Across from her, Harry and Ron grab plates and make their selections from the trays on the center of the table.

Harry digs out a charms book from the library, while Ron accepts another plate full of sandwiches from Angelina, whom materialized next to him.

Flipping towards the middle of the book, Harry begins reading about a spell that can scrub rust off of pans. "Ish dat ho-wor?" Ron utters with his mouth full.

"RONALD!"

Harry responds with a "No." and keeps reading. Angelina snags a plate of cookies before a third year could reach for it, and drops it in front of Ron. "Have some of these…" She mutters breathlessly and a tad flustered. She gazed avidly as the youngest Weasley began stuffing cookies into his maw faster than he could chew them. His cheeks quickly began to expand like those of a hamster.

Losing her patience with Ron, Hermione snapped off in a tirade about table manners and homework discipline.

Harry smiled to himself as he planned his next attempt on Draco's life.

Ron finished his cookies and began devouring the tray of quiche that had found it's way in front of him.

Angelina flushed and bit her bottom lip. "Yeah, eat that quiche baby…"