We're all fighting growing old

In the hopes

Of a few minutes more

[…]

But you need to lower your standards

Cause it's never

Getting any better than this

- Fall Out Boy: Rat A Tat

Chapter Three – Schoolwork Blues

They had all thought that the O.W.L. year had been bad, but once again hindsight proved to be 20/20. Already after their very first N.E.W.T. lessons, the Gryffindor girls were wistfully longing for the peace and relaxation of their previous year. The first Transfiguration lecture had Lily's head spinning and Marlene moaning about how she was going to fail. Professor Babbling was no longer the only teacher who was overly generous when handing out homework assignments and to Marlene's disappointment, after-lunch naptime was completely out of the question; the free time allotted to them in their timetables was spent studying. Trying to stay on top of their piling homework was a struggle, and felt much like panicked last-minute cramming for an exam – only now that was on a daily basis. A lot of their teachers seemed to feel that the textbooks alone weren't enough and recommended books for auxiliary reading, resulting in frequent library visits. Also non-verbal spells had come to stay, and were included in the curriculum for Charms and Transfiguration as well, on top of Defence.

It was a definite step up from their previous years and the workload had increased significantly. Still, Lily couldn't help but feel exhilarated; even though it was hard and more than a little overwhelming, she fully embraced the challenge.

The Gryffindor boys weren't faring much better than the girls. James found the mountain of homework a pain in the arse and it didn't help that he now needed to find a precarious balance between his schoolwork and his new responsibilities as the captain of the Quidditch team. He had always loved the sport, it had been a great way to blow off some steam, but all of a sudden it dawned to him that now he could no longer just play for fun. If they wanted to win – and James loved winning – he would have to step up and be a leader. He would have to start taking it more seriously, go over strategies, keep a close eye on the other teams, make sure that all his players got along and worked well together. So even though they were only a few days into the term, James was convinced that sixth year would be troublesome.

Peter was in the depths of despair already after their first lessons and had squeaked in a voice verging on panic how he hadn't understood a third of what McGonagall had been saying despite Transfiguration being one of his best subjects. Remus was grumbling and looked even paler than usual and spent hours practising non-verbal spells in their dormitory.

Only Sirius appeared unconcerned, but even he was starting to notice to his displeasure that talent and natural charm only went so far. He had never put much effort in his schoolwork, but had still managed to top most of his classes. Now he very quickly realised that while he still might breeze through the N.E.W.T. lessons without picking up the textbook, he would actually have to work if he wanted grades better than Acceptable.

All in all, their sixth year at Hogwarts was proving to be a very different experience from their previous years.

It was Saturday afternoon, and the Gryffindor girls minus Bethany were all cooped up in their room. Lily absent-mindedly petted Augustus who was curled up in a ball. Then, she glanced around the room and saw Mary frowning at her parchment, Marlene chewing at the end of her quill in despair and Gwen muttering under her breath as she took notes from the textbook.

Lily closed her book and tossed it aside and hopped up from her bed.

"We're going out," she declared. All the eyes in the room snapped to her.

"We're doing what now?" Marlene asked, incredulous.

"We're going out," Lily repeated matter-of-factly. "We're stuck in our dorm doing schoolwork on a Saturday afternoon, and you guys all look bloody miserable. So it's time for a break. The homework will wait until the evening or tomorrow."

"Well, if Lily is saying it's time to take a break, I guess it's time to take a break," Gwen shrugged. She stood up and rolled her shoulders.

Ten minutes later, the four girls were strolling across the grounds to their favourite spot at the side of the Lake. It was not one of those warm and sunny early autumn days. It was overcast, the clouds carrying a promise of rain, and the wind that made their cloaks flutter was cool. None of them seemed to mind, though, the fresh air had perked them all up considerably. When they sat down on the grass, the tension had already left their shoulders, the frowns and wrinkles disappeared from their foreheads. They looked over the lake, enjoying the companionable silence. Lily threw her head back, looked up at the clouds and smiled.

"I need to get back on the broomstick," Gwen sighed. "Potter had better hold the tryouts soon. I'm going bonkers without Quidditch."

"Don't we know it," Marlene retorted, rolling her eyes.

"We've only had two days of school and I already feel so overwhelmed," Mary moaned, hugging her knees to her chest.

"I know," Marlene lamented. "There's so much work, I think they're trying to drive us mad."

"Why would they do that?"

"Just for the heck of it I suppose."

"I think the non-verbal spells are going be the death of me," Gwen groaned.

"Me, too," Marlene echoed, for once agreeing with her friend.

"Yeah they seem to be very difficult to cast," Lily chimed in.

"Says the witch who actually succeeded in casting them," Marlene complained.

"Only twice," Lily countered. "I failed more times than I succeeded."

"But you succeeded nonetheless," Gwen insisted. "That's well done, Lily."

"Still, they're certainly pushing us very hard this year," Lily mused.

"Yes they are, and you're totally enjoying it," Gwen accused, rolling her eyes.

"Well…"

"Eh, we all know about Lily's competitive streak," Marlene shook her head. "Of course she's loving this torture."

"That reminds me, it's been quite a while since our last poker game."

"No, Lily."

"Nuh uh, we're not playing with you."

"Come on, where's that famous Gryffindor courage?" Lily pouted.

"It's not cowardice, it's about picking your battles," Gwen replied sagely.

"Yeah and we have no desire for getting our arses kicked by you," Marlene added. "Again."

"And how would you know I get the winning hand when the cards had not even been dealt?"

"Because you always win in the end, Lily."

"For a little miss prefect, you're a terrific liar."

"I'm taking that as a compliment."

"Of course that was a compliment," Marlene grinned.

And like that, the girls spent most of their afternoon outside, enjoying the fresh air, each other's company, and the idle talk. The break was welcome and saved the girls from reaching their wits' end.

In the end, the promise of the dark clouds held through, and the pouring rain drove the four giggling girls back into the castle. By then it was time for dinner so they walked into the Great Hall, their cloaks and hair damp, and took a seat at the Gryffindor table. Their dormmate Bethany was already there, and gaped at the sight of them.

"You look like you could use some hot soup," she told them, and ladled some tomato soup into bowls.

Lily accepted the offered food gratefully.

"Cheers."

"A drying charm might also be a good idea," she offered.

"It's just a little rain," Marlene waved her hand dismissively. "It'll dry."

"Alright," Bethany agreed. "How was your afternoon?"

"It was great. The break from studying was very welcome."

"I told you so," Lily grinned, and tasted the soup.

"How was your afternoon?" Gwen asked as Marlene and Mary started to pile food on their plates.

"Oh, I had a nice chat with Florence and Vickie," Bethany answered. Lily looked over to the Ravenclaw table to steal a glance of Betty's friends, but instead her eyes met Connor Matheson, the Head Boy, who gave her a solemn nod.

"I did hear something interesting from Florence, though," Bethany chirped in that tone of hers that promised gossip. Lily's gaze snapped back to her dormmate.

"Oh?"

"Apparently, Cynthia Jones asked Benjy Fenwick out. And Benjy turned her down!"

"Why?" Gwen wondered. "Has he seen her legs? I mean, they're very hard to miss since they seem to be going for miles."

"You're one to talk," Marlene muttered into her mashed potatoes.

"Please, Marls, I'd kill to have your tits," Gwen retorted.

"Seconded," Lily said, reaching for her goblet, "though I really wish we weren't discussing anyone's tits over dinner."

"What I want to know is how the Ravenclaws knew gossip regarding Gryffindor students before we did." Gwen pursed her lips ponderously.

"Cynthia must have told Florence herself," Lily shrugged as she helped herself to some quiche.

"I guess. They're both prefects so they could be close."

"Oh yes, the secret sisterhood of prefects," Lily quipped dryly. "I guess now is as good time as any to confess that Adeleine Blastock is actually my best friend."

Marlene almost choked on her pumpkin juice. Mary giggled while Gwen's eyes instinctively flitted towards the Slytherin table at the opposite side of the room.

"Very funny, Lily," Marlene grumbled as soon as she had recovered.

"Aren't you friends with Emmeline Vance, though?" Betty asked Lily.

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"Well, there's the great secret then," Gwen smirked. "This sisterhood of prefects only exists between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor."

"What about Hufflepuff?" Mary asked.

"Hufflepuff doesn't count," Marlene replied. "They're friends with everyone, there's no secret in that."

"That's a fair point," Mary conceded with a smile.

"Woah, Evans. Try to drown yourself in the lake or something?"

The girls' heads swivelled to glare at the four boys who had just appeared in the Great Hall.

Lily rolled her eyes but didn't have time to retort before her friends jumped in.

"Funny, Black," Gwen drawled coolly. "You have me in stitches."

"Why the hell are you singling Lily out anyway when all four of us were rained on?" Marlene demanded with an arched brow and a bite in her voice.

"Because he's a twat," James huffed, levelling his friend with an annoyed stare.

"Ignore him," Remus shrugged, taking a seat next to Mary. "That's what we do."

James plopped down to the free spot on Lily's right.

Sirius finally sat down at the opposite side of the table next to Betty, and glowered at Lily and James.

The bespectacled young wizard paid him no heed.

"Pass me the potatoes?" he asked conversationally, turning to Lily.

She looked at him and her lips twitched as she folded her arms across her chest.

"I don't think I heard the magic word."

"Please?" James grinned.

"Here you go." Lily reached for the bowl of potatoes and then set it on the table before the marauder.

"Cheers."

"So what were you talking about before the unfortunate interruption?" Remus asked.

"The secret sisterhood of prefects," Gwen smirked.

Remus' brow quirked and he turned to Lily.

"Why wasn't I informed that we have a secret society?"

"Because it's a sisterhood, Remus," Lily replied with a sweet smile. "We'd love to have you, but rules are rules."

"Also," Bethany chirped, sensing her opportunity to further spread her gossip, "we were talking about how Cynthia Jones asked Benjy Fenwick out."

"Forward. I like women who aren't afraid of taking the initiative," James commented, his hazel eyes laughing.

"Benjy declined, though," Betty continued.

"What?" Sirius gaped. "Why? That bird has a great pair of legs on her – "

Marlene's fork dropped. It made such a loud clatter that Peter jumped in surprise.

"Enough about the bloody legs already!" the blonde witch snapped.

Sirius stared at her.

"Bloody hell, McKinnon, what's got your knickers in a knot?"

"Nothing," she retorted, scowling at her plate.

Sirius opened his mouth to respond but only an angry hiss escaped his lips when Gwen promptly stomped on his toes to silence him.

Peter saw the chance to change the subject into something more neutral than Cynthia Jones' legs.

"Is anyone else having trouble with the non-verbal spells?" he piped up, and then sighed in relief when murmurs of agreement broke out following his question. Peter was glad that he had managed to restore the peace; conflicts made him uncomfortable.

"So did you finally decide when you want to hold the Quidditch tryouts?" Sirius asked his friend as the two exited the kitchens later that evening, their bellies full and their mood light and cheerful.

"Sometime next week I think. Saturday, probably, if the pitch isn't booked."

"Saturday sounds good. It'll be big day for you, Captain! Do you want me to tag along? Moral support, y'know?"

"I think I'll be fine, Padfoot," James snorted, rolling his eyes. "What's that basket for, anyway? Didn't you eat enough already?"

"This? I got a slice of treacle tart and some hot chocolate. It's for Moony. He was looking a bit pale so I figured a little pick-me-up might do him good."

"Good thinking, Padfoot." James grinned. "Moony'll appreciate it. He's probably just stressed, only a few days left before, you know…"

"Wednesday, yeah?"

James nodded.

"Need to remind Peter," Sirius muttered to himself.

"Alright," James spoke briskly. "We still have some time before curfew, but better be safe, right?"

Sirius grinned. James stopped walking and fished a blank piece of parchment from his sleeve, then pulled out his wand.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Thin lines of ink appeared on the spot his wand touched, spreading out across the parchment to form a map. Sirius peered at it over his friend's shoulder.

"Looks like our way's clear," James decided after a quick glance.

"Ooh look who's skulking about in the dungeons!" Sirius cackled gleefully and jabbed at a moving dot labelled Severus Snape. "Fancy a detour?"

James felt his lips twitch into an answering grin, when suddenly he recalled the stricken expression that had flashed on Lily Evans' face at the Hogsmeade platform four days ago. Even the memory of it made his gut twist painfully, and the beginnings of his cheerful smile turned into a frown.

"Nah," he replied after a moment, both his voice and his expression glum. "I'll pass. You can go if you want to."

Sirius' eyebrow rose and he gave his friend a long stare.

"Since when have you ever passed on the opportunity to hex Snivellus?" he demanded incredulously.

"Since I realised that hexing him hurt other people," James retorted. He wiped the map clean and shoved it back into his sleeve.

"Hurt Evans, you mean," Sirius spat, his voice sharp.

James stayed silent. His shoulders were tense and he crossed his arms, glaring at his friend out of the corner of his eye.

"Do you really think she's gonna give a crap anymore? Evans and Snape are over."

"Yeah, because of what happened the last time we decided to have fun at Snape's expense!"

"No, you stubborn git," Sirius hissed, gritting his teeth. "Because Evans finally realised what a pathetic little creep Snivellus is!"

James didn't reply.

Sirius scowled at him and took in his dark expression, the grim line of his lips, the clench of his jaw, the stiffness of his neck, his balled fists.

"Fine." Sirius finally relented with a sigh. He was clearly not going to win this battle; there was no convincing James, pig-headed as he was.

"We'll leave Snivellus alone."

On Monday evening, as he and Lily were walking down the corridors and staircases, heading to a prefect meeting, Remus broke the companionable silence by clearing his throat.

"I'm not sure if I should tell you this," he began, his tone slightly hesitant, "but since I was not sworn to secrecy and it involves you, I thought you deserved to know."

Lily quirked her brow and her lips twitched.

"Well you have to tell me now, after just saying all that to spark my intrigue."

"James has decided to give up on asking you out, since you hate him so much."

Lily frowned. Remus' statement left her with mixed feelings. While she was mostly relieved, a part of her felt slightly disappointed. James Potter's obvious interest in her had been unwanted, but nonetheless quite flattering.

There was, however, one great flaw in his logic, which she felt obligated to point out.

"I don't hate Potter," she told Remus. "Never did. Well… Okay, maybe for a while in second year because he kept pranking me on a weekly basis, but it's not like I never retaliated…"

"Yeah well, I suppose we can all be excused for how we used to behave when we were twelve," Remus replied, smiling benignly.

"I'm not a great fan of Potter, I confess," Lily said. "But 'hate' is too strong a word. If anything, I hate the way he behaves sometimes, you know?"

Remus hummed in agreement.

"I mean he can be a right bully, and he is just so sickeningly obnoxious sometimes… But it's not like that's all there is to him. He is also quite brilliant in most of our classes, and he can be very funny, too." Lily paused, then glanced at Remus. "I trust you not to relay this to him, though. He'd only get his hopes up."

"He probably would." Remus agreed.

"Well, I suppose it's a good thing he's giving up," Lily sighed, a light frown still creasing her brow. "I didn't enjoy always having to reject him."

"Well, I'm sure you enjoyed it some of the time," Remus said with a sly grin. "I remember some very snarky come-backs, I'm sure you put a lot of thought into them."

"Yeah… But he would always just grin and act like he didn't care, but I think he must have. Rejection always hurts."

"So why didn't you just go out with him?"

Lily pursed her lip and absent-mindedly ran her hand through her dark red hair.

"He's not bad-looking," she started ponderously. "He's funny and rather brilliant and he has his own kind of charm. But like I said, he can also be annoying and mean and just obnoxious. The good I can see in him doesn't cancel the bad aspects of his behaviour. And I know going out on a date doesn't mean you're committing in a relationship but I just felt… I don't know, that if I agreed to go on just one date with him because I felt sorry for him or to get him off my back, it wouldn't be fair to him. Rejection hurts, but it's infinitely better than false hope or pity."

"I'm a bit surprised you've put so much thought in this whole matter," Remus confessed quietly.

"If they're serious in asking me out, they deserve to be taken seriously," Lily shrugged.

James had been smirking in that crooked manner of his each time he had asked her out. He had tried to be cool, always tried to radiate confidence, charisma and casualness. But Lily could tell that he was being serious, that he really wanted to take her out on a date. She had spotted the disappointed flicker in his hazel eyes he had tried to hide. She had noticed that after each time she had turned down his offer, it had taken him longer and longer to ask her out again. There were times her heart went out to him, but still she couldn't really bring herself to like him.

"To be frank, out of you four, it's Sirius that I like the least. Potter might get on my nerves from time to time, but at least he likes me."

Remus grimaced. Sirius was neutral towards Lily on a good day, horribly rude on a bad one.

"I've tried telling him several times that you're not so bad but he refuses to listen."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me."

"I don't think all his dislike stems from you, though. I think in part it's 'cause he's jealous."

"Jealous?" Lily echoed, incredulous. "Of me?"

Remus nodded. "Of all the attention James gives you," he clarified. "I think he feels threatened, like he's afraid that if you and James ever did get together, he'd be cast aside."

Lily stared at Remus, her bright green eyes sceptical.

"That may well be the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard."

"Our fears never are rational," Remus said mildly, and shrugged.

The two rounded the corner. The door of the empty classroom assigned for the prefect meetings was already open, and Lily and Remus walked right in. They seemed to be rather early, only a few prefects were in attendance. The Slytherins in their year gave the two of them a long stare, and Avery sneered while Adeleine Blastock sniffed. Lily promptly ignored the both of them, and instead walked over to the front of the room to greet the Head Girl.

"Alice, you should have warned me that N.E.W.T. lessons would be the death of me," she grumbled to her friend, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Suck it up and persevere," Alice laughed. "Seventh year is going to be even worse."

"Oh joy," Lily rolled her eyes. "Thanks for the empathy."

"I'd be more empathetic if I actually believed the N.E.W.T. lessons to be the death of you."

"She's right," the Head Boy, Connor Matheson chimed in. "You'll be fine, Lily. More than fine, I imagine. You really are a brilliant witch, enough so to put some of my housemates to shame."

The compliment was surprising but nonetheless welcome, so Lily flashed the Ravenclaw a delighted smile.

"Thank you, Connor."

The Head Boy returned the smile.

"Go take a seat," he suggested. "We're starting soon."

Lily nodded and went back to Remus. The room had filled out while she had been chatting with the Head students. She gave a small wave to Emmeline Vance at the other side of the room.

A few more prefects filed into the room and then Connor called the meeting to order.

"The first order of business," Alice said briskly, "are the patrol schedules from this week onwards. I have a list here I'm going to hand out. Please fill out the times and dates you are unavailable for patrols, so Connor and I can work out the schedule."

"Wednesday's not good," Lily muttered to Remus when the list reached them. "I have a Slug Club meeting."

"Alright," the marauder replied with a curt nod, filling out their information on the parchment. He glanced at the witch out of the corner of his eye.

"What's put you in such a good mood, anyway?" he asked, unable to contain his curiosity.

"Connor Matheson of all people," Lily grinned. "He told me I put some Ravenclaws to shame."

"Well… you do," Remus commented, raising his eyebrow.

"I know, but it was awfully nice of him to say it."

Remus laughed and passed the list forward. Then, both still smirking, the two Gryffindors quieted down and turned their focus back onto the meeting.

It was Tuesday evening, and Lily was feeling determined though exhausted. Tuesdays and Thursdays were the longest days on her schedule, and today had been a full day of classes; from nine to four. Lily had already learned to utilise her free periods for studying, but as she had had none today it meant that all of her homework was still waiting.

So after a quick dinner, she had rushed to hole up in the library together with Mary in order to get some studying done. She wanted to get started on her homework as early as she could, else it would pile up until she'd be crushed under the mountain of work she should have got done yesterday. Marlene was already discovering that her earlier strategy of postponing things until she absolutely had to tackle them was not working out too well for her.

In her mind, Lily equated N.E.W.T. level work to the hydras of Greek mythology. Trying to stay on top of her classes was much like fighting one – any time she finished and turned in one essay, two more would be assigned.

It hadn't been even a full week yet and Marlene was already convinced she would die of overexertion, while Gwen had taken to swearing in Welsh. Mary was no stranger to hard work, and seemed to have resigned to her fate.

Lily made the final revisions to her translation for Ancient Runes and then leaned back in her chair and stretched. She rolled her shoulders and glanced at Mary. The brunette witch across the table was worrying her lip while reading Advanced Potions. Lily smiled a little and then looked at her notes. They had Defence again tomorrow, she should probably read up on curses.

"Going to get a book," she told Mary and then got up and headed towards the section with the Defence Against the Dark Arts books.

Walking felt wonderful after spending two hours perched on the hard wood of her chair. Lily could barely feel her arse. Along with the cosy atmosphere, the plush and comfortable armchairs were one big reason why she preferred to study in the Gryffindor Common Room.

Finally Lily found the right row and slipped between the shelves. She ran her fingers along the leather spines as she slowly walked, her head tilted to the side so she could better read the titles.

"Curses, curses..." she muttered under her breath, skimming over the books. "A-ha!"

She pulled A Compendium of Common Curses and Their Counter-Actions off the shelf and flipped it over, about to read the back cover, when a familiar voice called her name.

Lily's heart plummeted all the way to the pit of her stomach and her shoulders tensed. Hugging the book close to her chest, she slowly turned around to face the black-haired, hook-nosed boy.