Author's Note: I am aware that this fic is dying already, I think I can wrestle a few more chapters out of it but please do tell e if the quality drops even further.
Quote for the Day: 'I have come to the conclusion I am merely a product of my own overactive imagination'
Author's Note 2: You'll never guess how shocked I am that other author's in 40k are starting to put in Quotes of the Day, after checking the dates on these I realised how much people were liking this fic, It actually meant quite a lot to me that people were reading this fic and going 'here's an idea and then adapting it to their own writing'. So ty sincerely to the few writers who have incorporated it.
Shamefaced at losing a company of Marines to unarmed orks the Imperium counter-attacked, not with orbital bombardment or the fielding of more Marines but with the tried and trusted Imperial Guard.
These people had trained for years to become the backbone of the Imperium's military. Drilled to mediocre skill and kept in line by the constant threat of death from the commissars it would be quite easy to draw a parallel between the two forces skills and order. Guard regiments were not sent in for shock tactics, they were used for slow meat-grinder wars which were all too common, wars where lives were burnt up on an astonishing scale.
The orks who excelled in close combat found themselves without blades and were cut down by concentrated fields of lasfire, inevitably the outlying fringes of the Waaagh! Were being pushed back before the news of the fight even reached the Warboss's tent while unprompted and in an attempt to stem the tide of battle Nob Bolta-Gunna – the very same Flashgit which had confronted the Warboss when this ill thought-out invasion begun – along with his elite guard of trained marksorks who were by ork standards almost legendary by their ability to hit a target through aim rather than number of bullets and most importantly unlike the rest of the orks; armed.
Laying down suppressing fire (not difficult when your weapon consists of three heavy bolters welded or taped together) the ork counter-attack began to push back the guardsman who tried to hide behind crude barricades to escape the punishing and above all fatal attack only to find that the barricades themselves were also falling apart under the bombardment of bolter rounds.
The guardsmen were in rout and the few surviving commissars foolish enough to try to lead by example or threaten the troops into going forwards found themselves cut down mercilessly by the gunfire though by which side was thoroughly debatable. With the narrow streets of the city the orks had established in and the superior firepower the Imperium's attack was in danger of being repulsed before it had even truly begun. Taking heart from the Nob's example or perhaps just because an ork knows a good fight when it see one, the other orks unarmed as they were charged the Guards lines, overwhelming them completely. Without choppas the hand to hand fighting was brutal and demoralising – for the guardsmen at last, the orks loved it - pushing onwards the ork counter-attack was getter more and more spread out within the city till lone orks were being easily picked off by squads who had not been in the front lines. Despite this the main charge continued still led Bolta-Gunna for a few brief minutes it seemed almost as though this one charge would defeat the entire Guard onslaught .
Far away from the battlefield however on both sides communications were being relayed to the COs and with the advantage of vox the Cadian Guardsmen were able to react first
Nob Bolta-Gunna sprayed another barricade with shots, pulping the barricade and the guardsmen behind it before charging onwards, only pausing for as long as it took to find and kill the remaining defenders. The Nob turned onto a different street, he'd lost track of which street he was on ages ago not that it mattered with so many humiez to kill, if ever there was an ork paradise it was this. The shot came without warning from one of the windows, catching the ork in the throat, still charging onwards more lasfire caught the ork, the legs, the arms, the chest. Still in an effort to carry on it's great attack Bolta-Gunna turned and sprayed one of the looted shops with his KustomBolta. Another shot caught him, this one right between the eyes.
With their leader dead the ork charge lost it's impetus and was quickly ripped apart by the Guard's reinforcements. The Cadian 289th Regiment pressed onward.
As to Bolta if a human had managed to rally their troops like that then they would have gone down in Imperial history as brave or valiant, considering this was ork Bolta would be lucky to get a mention as a footnote in a guard's journal and if he did his charge would be classified as stupid.
News had just made it back to Warboss 'eadbreaka
"WHA' YA MEAN DA BOYZ CANN'T FOIGHT!" He bellowed.
The cowering Nob answered whilst trying to avoid meeting the Warboss's eyes which he succeeded in doing whilst also trying not to be in the same universe as said warboss, which he failed.
"Well, ya see Boss, we got na choppas an' most da boyz don't know 'ow ta use a shoota proply. Wi'dout choppas Boss we ad it."
"No choppas ya say." said the Warboss, now much quieter as it out it's puny mind to the problem, "No choppas?"
The proverbial lightbulb lit up in the Warboss's single solution brain.
"USSSE DAAAA GRETCHIN!"
The ork horde came, yelling and running swinging their weapons over their heads like clubs, through sheer weight of numbers they overwhelmed the two Cadian regiments stationed on the planet.
Extract from the journal of one of the survivors -
I'd never seen anything like it, the damn greenskins were unstoppable, you shot one down and seven took it's place. The most frightening part about it was the screaming, the weapons they were using were smaller versions of the greenies. I found both terrible and comical the effectiveness of such a blunt weapon. They simply overwhelmed us, some fled, I fled.
I guess I'll end this entry I've got a firing squad to face in the morning.
No other corresponding entry exists within Imperial archives, the orks however are still talking about it.
Another battle gone, through sheer weight of numbers the orks had overwhelmed the Imperium's resistance, the emboldened Waaggh! began salvaging the left behind equipment, guns, ammunition and even a few tanks. Also left behind in the city they discovered was food. The gretchin breathed a heartfelt sigh of relief.
In the orks view the most important thing the humiez had left behind was the beer. Most of the could barely stand the thought of having to put up with even one more glass of gretchgin.
Author's Note: Better? Worse? Would you prefer pure comedy or more of this.