Wow, this is a really boring chapter... Everything basically happens in a 20 minutes. Sorry about that, I'll try to make the next one more interesting.

Disclaimer: I don't own this book or the characters.

Sanzang's To Be a Monk #3: To refrain from sensual (including sexual) misconduct

Ok, umm, hi... This is Bajie... Master said this is my area of expertise so I should explain this one... I think he misunderstood the fact that my area of expertise is actually doing it. Meanwhile he wants me to explain how not to do it. Yeah... well... this is pretty awkward... So, uhh... don't have sex.

-Bajie

(Tch. Nice job with the intro porky.

-Wukong)

Sha Sen POV

I never wanted this to happen! Honest! I don't even know why she chose me, while Big Brother and Master are around. Why does she have to pick me? The one person person who doesn't want this and doesn't know how to deflect her attempts at... Well maybe I should start at the beginning.

Flashback

One day-

End of Flashback

Come to think of it, I don't really know when this started... And I'm not very good at telling stories anyway. Maybe Second Brother can start it for me.

Zhu Bajie POV

Sha Sen you idiot... Your very first girl and you don't remember anything about it! All I know is that you, me and Big Brother were outside History class discussing that photo incident and a girl just walks up to you and starts rubbing against you... or something like that. It went something like:

"What the fuck was wrong with you! You agreed to take a naked picture of me in exchange for sexual favors?"

"Oh get over that! I told you, you had nothing to be ashamed about!"

"You think that's the only problem?"

"Well yeah! What else is there!"

"What the hell is wrong with you? Did you even have sex with them in the end?"

"No..."

"Then what was the point of y-"

That's when we stopped arguing and the girl walked up. She had this weird horny look on her face. Like eyes all narrowed, smiling and stuff. "Hiii Sha Sen! Heh heh." She purposely bumps into you and walks into the room. Kinda disturbing even for me 'cause she really wasn't all that pretty.

Me and the monkey just kinda stared at you two.

Sha Sen POV

Oh yeah! I remember that! You and Big Brother just kinda stared at me open mouthed. But I think it started before then...

Tang Sanzang POV

Oh yes, I think I was with you when it first happened. We were in... What do you call it? P.E? Yes that's it. Our class was playing dodge ball and a ball had hit her and knocked her down. You helped her up saying, "Are you all right?" and she simply stared at you. I suppose it could have been described as love.

Sun Wukong POV

Wow, love. Heh, you're in pretty deep Sha Sen. Who is this girl?

Zhu Bajie POV

Jesus Christ, Master noticed stuff like that and you didn't? How oblivious are you? And more importantly, what happened after that?

Sha Sen POV

To answer Big Brother's question, I think her name is Sally.

And to answer Second Brother's question, I think I helped her up and she blushed. She said "Thank you" real quiet then just ran away. After that I thought I saw her following me around but I always thought I was imagining it. That time I was with Second Brother was the first time she talked to me so openly.

But none of this is helping! How do I stop this?

Zhu Bajie POV

The next day...

Alright Sha Sen here's what you do. When you're sure she can see you, go up to another girl and start flirting. Be real obvious.

Sha Sen looks at me doubtfully, "I don't know how to flirt Brother." I blanch, my brother doesn't know how to flirt! How embarrassing... But I suppose it can't be helped, not everyone can be as knowledgeable as me.

"It doesn't matter, just go up to a random girl, start talking sexy and put your arm around her and stuff."

Now Big Brother's the one looking dubious, "That's how you flirt? Doing that is gonna get you slapped. I thought you'd know that from experience."

I lift my head up defiantly, "It works, I've seen people do it."

"Yeah" he mutters, "People who don't look like fat ass pigs."

Pointedly ignoring him, I turn to Sha Sen and say, "just try it." I cut off his, "But-" by pushing him in a hot girl's direction.

The monkey winces as Sha Sen stumbles up to her, "Sally's not that pretty, you don't need a girl that good looking to make a point."

I shrug, "Can't hurt."

"Sure it can. In case you haven't noticed, Sha Sen isn't as good looking as that girl either. You think someone like that is going to give him the time of day?"

I wince as his words sink in, "When did you get so good at this?"

"Observation. Sometimes there's nothing better to do than watch those steroid- taking idiots going at girls like monkeys. No Masochism intended." He adds.

"Hmm."

Sha Sen POV

I try best to figure out what Second Brother meant when he said "talk sexy" in the short time between being pushed and almost falling on the girl. I steady myself just in time and look up to see her looking very unimpressed. I scramble to my feet and desperately try to think of something "sexy", "umm... hi... What's your name?"

I think I can hear Second Brother's groan from here. The girl snorts, but decides to pity me I guess because she answers, "Joanne."

"Oh, umm, hey...Joanne." I lean down on a desk, the way I've seen Big Brother do it, trying... Well I'm wasn't really sure anymore at that point. Suave, I think they call it. But I guess I was too heavy or something because the desk tips over and I go down with it, landing with a loud thud. Joanne laughs loudly and walks away.

Sally, on the other hand, rushes over and helps me up. "Oh no, are you ok? You're not hurt are you?"

Zhu Bajie POV

I sigh loudly. "That idiot..."

Big Brother smirks, "Poor guy."

I feel like I should explain why I picked Sha Sen to be the "main character" of this story. At first I meant for it to be Wukong, but then I thought back and he plays a pretty big part in all the other stories. Bajie already had a "sexual misdemeanor" in the last story and I have something bigger planned for Tang Sen. :) So that left Sha Sen.