x

Chapter 4: Kill the Madness

"You're in my netherrealm now," a twisted voice echoed.

The world brightened into existence.

Tendrils of orange and red whipped wildly around Tatsumi as he came to his senses. A great fire licked the ground at every side but the flames, though wild and violent, kept their distance and dared not to touch the man himself. The heat kissed his skin. All around him, the air was thick with burning embers, cinder, and residue that fell steadily like blackened snow. He could smell it with every breath, permeating his nose and rousing his senses. Watching closely, he observed as a single ember passed in front of his vision, still glowing hot with energy. The beauty of annihilation. In every direction, the world had been engulfed in a lake of fire as unfathomable as anything could possibly be. The destruction reflected off both his eyes which were now a deep, penetrating crimson. He'd never felt so much power in one place. He didn't know how he got here, but he could feel the sole force responsible for it all around him, its presence weighing down oppressively and with the same familiar sensation to it, only this time it didn't feel wrong anymore.

Tatsumi settled his feet into the ground. He stood imperiously upon a mountain of ashes that overlooked the entirety of the carnage. Raising his hand, he examined it in wonder as though he'd never really seen it before nor ever realized the true power it held. He recognized the familiar red gauntlets that covered them. He was wearing armor in its ascended form and the dark undercurrents of power were crackling just above his body. Instead of a blazing red, the aura was now black like the night. The source of this power felt different from the first time. It felt foreign, but the feeling was just as exhilarating. Grinning, Tatsumi realized it was him who had caused the surrounding destruction. He threw his head back in uproarious laughter. He was not himself. Dimly, somewhere in the back of his mind beyond the reach of his current person, he knew this and he knew it well, but, the amazing thing was that he didn't care. The here and the now, that is what mattered. And right now he liked this new thing he had become.

Tatsumi felt a mysterious shift and the eerie character in his mind spoke again. The voice seemed to fill his head despite its leveled tone. This time its words were dark and and inviting. "Yes... That's it... You need this power... You want it... Give yourself to me and you can have it all."

Both of Tatsumi's eyes were now identical to the Tyrant's own and he saw the world through their infernal lens. There was not a soul to be found, only unchecked wrath for as far as the eye could see. It made him burn with a strange hunger. He soaked it in. The flames around him warmed his skin to the point of enticement. The flames were impossibly hot, but it didn't hurt to be surrounded by them, in fact, the heat they produced filled his heart with exhilaration. The more the fire consumed, the more it fuelled him and filled his veins with an intoxicating vigor. Something in the back of his mind was not okay with this, unsettled by it even, but this feeling was washed away by the surrounding heat and the oppressive presence of a sinister being. He was blind to his own deception; the power controlled him and it did not answer to rationality. It merely commanded.

Tatsumi clenched his fist and the flames surged wildly. The power was enough to make him forget about anything else. Standing upon a pile the ashes felt much like standing on top of the world. He could do anything! He wielded great strength at the tips of his fingers and he could feel the energy coursing up his arm. With a flick of his hand, he directed the destruction of the flames, and they continued to expand endlessly into the distance, never satisifed, never satiated until they had consumed all there was to consume. If he willed it, it turned to ash and dust. There was a point where nothing but razed landscape stretched on in every direction for eternity, but it didn't bother him in the slightest. The endless fields of dust and destruction had their own way of focusing the mind that he oddly enjoyed. He liked this power. But it wasn't enough. He wanted more! He wanted to erase it all!

And so he did.

Like some hidden instinct he never knew he had, Tatsumi felt his hand across his vision as though it had a mind of its own. The intention was there, and then it just happened. At his command, a great wind came and the fires were suddenly extinguished as everything instantly vanished, enveloping the land in total darkness. As soon as he had made the gesture, empty silence filled the space around him in one big downpour. It was all gone in a fraction of a second. For the first time in his life, even if it was for a sliver of a time, Tatsumi knew what total silence sounded like. He had thought himself alone, but then, somewhere in that blur of blackness and quiet, he felt as though dark fingers had plucked something from his memory.

Then he blinked.

He had blinked and he found himself somewhere he hadn't expected. He was back at the Capital in the same bar where he'd taken Leone on his first day, however, the setting was a bit different. Esdeath and all his friends were there, chatting and carousing to their heart's content like nothing in the world had ever happened to them. The memory of this vision was vaguely familiar to his corrupted mind but not entirely so in his current state. Even though Tatsumi was beyond the reach of his normal self, still, he was not entirely numb, and a wistful longing overcame him. He watched silently, feeling the whole time like something was missing. Like something should've been accompanying what he was seeing but he just didn't know what it was. A certain feeling he couldn't place his finger on. He remained impassive because that very thing had been stolen so callously from him.

Although it lacked the emotion behind it, Tatsumi felt himself smile in a slip of memory, but that smile quickly hardened into something else. He could see it everywhere. Descending. Unrelenting. His eyes flared with savagery.

The feeling compelled him.

It compelled him to burn it all down!

Tatsumi's hand started to raise with an evil intention, and he knew what would happen next.

The rage invigorated Tatsumi but that wasn't all he experienced. He felt a familiar presence, muddled and murky, but still there reaching out to him like it had been summoned by his radical actions. Miraculously, by some twist of fate, the Tyrant had underestimated Tatsumi's will and he wasn't entirely gone. Somehow, somewhere, in the most remote regions of his mind, his original self called out to him, and he managed to come to his senses, the entirety of his memory snapping back into place. Even though he hadn't been in the right frame of mind, the radicality of the action was enough for him to get out of his trance. Emotions were not so easily tampered with, and his were abruptly knocked back into place, flooding into his mind with a vicious surge that made him realize what was going on. He wasn't the one controlling his arm. He felt it in his bones. But he couldn't stop it from lifting.

What was he doing?! What was going on?

No! No, don't!

His arm wouldn't listen. Something had possessed his body and it was controlling him like his limbs were attached to strings. Tatsumi desperately fought to hold himself back as his arm raised slowly, deathly upwards, but it was too late and he could only watch in terror as he flicked his wrist and the peace he envisioned was engulfed in a murderous inferno made of black fire. Tatsumi tried to look away but he was compelled once more, this time to watch as the scene and everyone in it burned to the ground by his hand. The blaze quickly overran them as though it was a blistering wind. Tatsumi could hear it all so clearly and with horrid intention. He could hear the harrowing shrieks of his friends as the flames licked their flesh off like sweet honey and ate them alive, piece by mortifying piece. It didn't stop. And it didn't end. The inferno continued to burn their bodies until they were nothing but ash and dust sprinkled over the ground like dirt.

Tatsumi stood before the raging flames. He wanted to scream but the noises wouldn't come out as his lips betrayed him and split into a odious smile, his eyes leering impassively with a demonic, sinister hunger. Helpless in his own body, the tears were welling up but nothing came out.

The voice in Tatsumi's head was back again. It yelled gravelly and with scathing venom. "The woman is nothing compared to our combined power!"

As soon as those words registered, Tatsumi heard a noise come from just ahead of him - a rustling within the flaming debris of the building. He wanted to look away but his body remained locked into position. Just then, the air became thick and tainted with an unmistakable stench. It was the stench of death...

Burnt flesh...

Then Tatsumi heard another noise and he watched as someone clambered out of the fire and started crawling towards him. He wasn't sure who it was, but then he saw the imperial cap on her head or what the raging inferno had left of it. Her clothing had melted into her skin and her body was scorched and calcinated by the blaze. She was beyond recognition. As the flames hissed at her body, they cast their raging glow on her form and he could see her mutilated face, charred and cracked like barren earth, and the blood between the cracks coagulated as though it was gel. Her skin was charred like burnt meat. She croaked and dragged her blackened arms across the ground, scraping her way towards him.

"Ta...tsu...mi..." Her breath rasped in her throat. She reached out, eyes pleading for the smallest morsel of compassion.

Tatsumi finally screamed.

He yelled for it to end, he yelled in agony with a single, deafening word.

His voice rang loud and clear with emotion. In an instant, everything was gone, and Tatsumi opened his eyes, violently shooting upright in a convulsion of harrowing dread. He choked out in pain. His first breath was a deep, oxygen-starved gasp. He was awake now but he could still smell it, the taint of its vile odor still clinging tightly onto his senses. It made him want to retch, and gag, and fall to his knees in terror. He immediately sucked in more air, laboring for those first few precious breaths, desperately trying to breathe in anything other than that sickening stench which had filled his nostrils only mere moments ago. It lingered with him for a few seconds, but somehow, he managed to get the grisly smell out of his head. That didn't stop the fear though. It kept running through him like a train.

He was now staring down at both his trembling hands. He realized the gauntlets were gone, and he couldn't feel the same dark power coursing through his arms as before. It was a dream, it was just a dream, he told himself. But he knew he didn't believe it. His eyes were watering like there was still smoke and ash and everything around him was still being burned to the ground. Tatsumi felt his eyes blink on their own and then the water cascaded out, the tears clearing bleakened tracks down his face. Don't blink, don't blink, he thought. Tatsumi fought against the reflex. He tried to keep himself from closing his eyes for too long, fearing the image had been burned into his retinas as it had his memory. The sheer shock of the dream made his skin clammy to touch and he could feel hot flashes shooting out from all over his body. He found himself clutching the bedsheets as he tried to calm down, too afraid to let go.

Esdeath?!

Tatsumi thought about her. He began to fret and panic, his face contorting in complete fear at what could've happened. She had been on the verge of death in his dreams. What if he did something during his sleep? What if he killed her? He didn't want to rule out hallucination after the past few days of hearing voices in his head. She was supposed to be lying in bed beside him, all he had to do was look to see if she was there, but he remained frozen in place and unable to move. She had to be there. She had to be! If she wasn't, what was he going to do? He didn't know, but he just had to turn his head and find out. He didn't want to. He stared down in willful ignorance at the mattress, his lungs still noticeably winded from his rough awakening. He'd only been looking for a second or two, but his heart already felt like it was going to break free from his chest. He couldn't take it anymore! He needed to know!

Tatsumi tore his gaze from the mattress and looked to his left.

To his surprise, Esdeath was still there. And she was sleeping peacefully. With a rush of relief, Tatsumi felt his grip loosen and the bedsheets slipped from his hands. The sight of her chest rising and falling like the waves seemed to thaw his blood from its frozen state.

At least there was a silver lining...

Tatsumi felt like he had been blessed. His mind may have been slipping from him but he was thankful he got to keep his heart.

He gazed deeply at Esdeath for a moment as a strange, inexplicable sense of passion met his mind, and he found himself enraptured in a way he never had been by her appearance. She looked beautiful. Serene emotions were written all over her expression. What was this feeling? He felt so close to her. There was peace waiting for him in her beautifully elegant features and the steady rise and fall of her chest. It calmed the storm inside him and had a way of clearing his thoughts that Tatsumi took careful note of. His reaction confused him but he didn't fight it. Instead, he looked at his hand again and shoved it under his arm as though to keep it from doing anything else.

Tatsumi knew for sure now that something was wrong with him. The way he had grinned in his dream stuck a chill all the way through his body. He didn't know who he was or what he had been earlier, but he was scared of even the slightest chance of him becoming that person. The mere thought of it sent a gut-wrenching shiver down his spine. That was no person, that was a monster. And he vowed to never let himself become so depraved. He'd told himself in the past that he could endure anything as long as he could have more power, but in retrospect, Tatsumi wasn't so sure anymore. What was power if it changed him as a person? What was power without the will to direct it? Power, if he could not control it, was something else entirely. But he needed it to protect his friends. He cared for them. He had cared for people in the past although never like he did now. In his time with Night raid, he'd bled alongside those who showed him compassion, and he now realized there are things he wanted to protect in this world... even, if it cost him his life.

Tatsumi sat there itching with dread. It'd only been a few days since he regained consciousness but the symptoms had gotten worse. He feared what would become of this. Ever since he'd fused with Incursio, he had felt something off about himself, a strange malaise, but not once did he think it would amount to anything serious. He realized now what it was. It was an evil welling up from within. That presence, that sinister presence so strong that it could muddle his thoughts and control his dreams, it had to be the Tyrant. Yes, there was no mistaking it. It's spirit was the embodiment of death and pestilence. He could feel it twisting around inside him, growing, getting stronger, eating at his insides like a parasite in his stomach. It was going to devour him from the inside out, and the sensation turned his blood an icy cold. When he evolved, he hadn't just fused with Incursio... he had fused with the beast itself.

Tatsumi shuddered at this realization. His fears were replaced by heavy numbness that fell over him and set a chill deep into his bones. The still air only served to heighten his sense of dread. What did this mean for him? He couldn't exactly just sit on this like any other problem, but on the other hand, he wasn't exactly sure what to do. If anything, the last thing on his mind was going back to sleep so he elected to sit there and consider his options. He was so worried that he ended up drifting into the home of his thoughts quicker than he realized, completely inattentive to his surroundings.

With his attention occupied, Tatsumi was oblivious to the moment Esdeath's eyelids fluttered or when she began to stir from under the sheets. She awoke groggily. When her eyes opened, her gaze immediately fell upon Tatsumi, but she couldn't see the distressed look written all over his expression. He was looking away from her, his outfit on display in the moonlight but his face under an an obscuring shadow. She was curious so she prompty sat up, rested her back on her hands, and turned to face him.

"Tatsumi?" she said, breaking the silence.

Tatsumi didn't show it but the sound of her voice nearly made him jump out of his skeleton. His face was pale with apprehension and he tried not to make it obvious as he turned his head to meet her gaze. "Esdeath?" he said, rubbing the back of his neck, "Don't scare me like that. I thought you were sleeping."

"Tatsumi, what are you doing up so late?" she said, concerned. "Are you all right? You look like you've seen a ghost."

A ghost would've been much nicer.

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about me," Tatsumi said with as much conviction as he could muster, "This room's a bit warm. I'm just having trouble falling asleep, is all."

"Is that so?" Esdeath raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "It's not warm in here at all."

His response piqued her interest. She leaned forward attentively on her hands and knees, getting curiously close to Tatsumi's face to examine his expression. Tatsumi felt like his voice was stuck when Esdeath got right in front of him. She'd interrogated enough people to know a lie when she heard one.

"H-hey! What are you doing?" Tatsumi stuttered with a blush. His cheeks suddenly felt hot.

"I can see right through you," Esdeath said. "You're nervous. And not a very good liar either."

Shit.

She was already on to him. Tatsumi laughed nervously which he realized probably didn't help his case like he wished it had. He could feel her eyes scrutinizing every inch of his expression, and the proximity of their faces wasn't making it any easier to concentrate. "Um, I don't know what you're talking about." he maintained.

"You've been having trouble sleeping these past few days. I think you do. And I think something's on your mind. Tell me," Esdeath ordered. She spoke clearly and with command.

"U-uh..." Tatsumi felt like he was disintegrating under her gaze. The pressure was beginning to make him sweat. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see how revealing her satin night gown was, and it took all his strength for him to mentally slap himself. "I-it's the middle of the night, Esdeath. Can't you just go back to sleep... Like a normal person?"

"I can't do that."

"Why not?" Tatsumi shot back.

"Because I want to know what's bothering you," Esdeath replied. "By the look on your face a second ago, I would say it is important."

Damn it... She really wants to know now. Knowing her, she's probably not going to leave me alone until I say it... I can't give in.

"Hey, just because you want to know something doesn't mean I'll go ahead and straight up tell you. What if this is something I'd rather keep to myself?" Tatsumi said defensively.

"But I'm concerned. Is it about Night Raid?"

"What does it matter?" Tatsumi said.

"I just want to make sure you're comfortable is all."

Tatsumi crossed his arms. "I'm perfectly comfortable," he declared.

Esdeath narrowed her eyes. "I don't believe you."

"It doesn't matter whether or not you believe me." Tatsumi said, curtly. "Aren't you tired anyway? Just go back to bed, Esdeath."

"Don't try and change the subject. If you want me to go away, why don't you just say what you were thinking about?"

Tatsumi pouted like a stubborn child. "Why should I?"

"I can give you several reasons."

"Oh, yeah?" Tatsumi said rhetorically, settling into the bed and turning his head away from her intensive eyes. He wasn't about to lose this. He'd show her just how able to convince him she was.

Slight astonishment crossed Esdeath's face. She was surprised to see this but at the same time not. If there was something about Tatsumi that never failed to impress her, it was his sheer stubbornness in committing to an action. Not many people had this trait but it was an attractive one to have. It was a strong trait. It could be vexing but deep down she knew it made her blood burn white-hot with excitement. Not many people could stand up to someone of such imposing character like her, and those who did usually perished fairly quickly. But he didn't care. When push came to shove, he had always defied her and stayed true to himself. It was maddening trying to wrap her head around it. However she did know one thing. She liked this little game they played and she wasn't about to lose to him.

"Heh. You're always so headstrong..." Esdeath said endearingly. "I like that about you, however, I should probably give you a word of advice: It'd be wiser to just tell me what you were thinking. In my time under the Empire, I've studied many men. Hundreds I would say. Torture has given me a lot of exposure, and I've spent enough time experimenting to understand them like the back of my hand. Every twist, every turn—what hurts and what doesn't.I don't think you realize just how convincing I can be."

Huh?!

Tatsumi's face contorted with confusion. "What?" he said in shock, "What the hell is that supposed to mean? You're going to force me to tell you?"

Esdeath let out a sly chuckle. A cunning simper poked at the corners of her mouth and she asked him, "Have you ever heard the saying... 'Every man has his weakness'?"

Then Esdeath leaned in. Her words hung precariously in the air. She leaned in close, dangerously, like a silver-tongued fox, the way she did it compelling Tatsumi to stay still and locking him firmly into place. He wanted to move, but it was like his muscles had turned to cement and concrete. He couldn't do a thing, and she knew exactly what she was doing to him. She proceeded to wrap her arms around her frozen target. Pulling Tatsumi into an embrace, she parted her lips, and with a voice smooth as silk, said softly into his ear, "I would never force you, Tatsumi... But I care about your well-being. Please, tell me what's bothering you."

Tatsumi's eyes widened.

W-what?

She... she...

His rationality began to fade into the background. Sweetened words lulled his senses and he felt the resistance spill right out of him when they registered. They took his breath away as they ran down his unexpecting ears, draining him to the tips of his fingers and toes as though she had recited some forbidden spell. He knew he was playing into her hands by being beguiled like this, and yet he didn't care. It was wrong but it felt so right. He practically couldn't speak. He could hear himself choking on letters and for a moment his troubles were abolished. The sounds he made he simply couldn't fathom into words.

"I can make you feel better... Just let me..." Esdeath whispered. She rubbed her cheek lovingly against his.

"Esdeath..." Tatsumi uttered, swallowing the magic and somehow managing to speak again, "I get the feeling you know more than you're letting on."

Esdeath hugged him tighter. "I know enough to see that you're hurting. I heard the way you woke up from that nightmare."

"You heard that, huh?" Tatsumi's eyes fell somber, "I might as well tell you then," he shuddered, breaking their embrace. Tatsumi's face remained stern, but his voice shook as a grim fear set into it, "You don't know what I saw, Esdeath. What I did... Ever since I fused with Incursio, I've felt something off about myself. I don't know what it is, but I can feel something evil gnawing at the back of my head every night. It's like I'm losing my mind. I'm hearing voices and when I'm by myself I dont feel alone anymore, I feel like there's something in the background watching me, just eating at my conscience, and it's making me go crazy. It makes me want to claw off my own skin. Sometimes I even want to rip out my hair. I'm scared, and I don't know what to do about it. I've never felt anything like that before."

Esdeath didn't say anything.

Tatsumi's confession brought the air to a standstill. Words often didn't often disturb Esdeath, but these were enough to cast a chilling silence upon her that sent a shivers down Tatsumi's spine. It was brief, but glaringly noticeable. Nothing that bothered her could be good... Nothing.

The lapse of silence passed, and Esdeath finally spoke. "What vile symptoms... Why didn't you tell me sooner?" she said like he should know better.

A sheepish expression crossed Tatsumi's face. "I... thought I could handle it."

Esdeath snorted in disapproval. "Tatsumi... your stubborness is one of your greatest strength's but also a serious vulnerability. You should know when to seek help from others. Even I know this." Sighing, Esdeath said, "But I suppose it can't be helped."

"So what do you think it is?" Tatsumi asked.

"I suspect you already know."

"The Tyrant..." he said fearfully.

"So it seems," Esdeath remarked. "I was hoping this wouldn't be a consequence of your fusion but I wasn't sure until now. Your symptoms are awfully similar to something I experienced with my Teigu. Listen closely, because what I'm going to tell you may be a matter of life and death. Do you remember—not too long ago—when we were on that island and you asked about my Teigu? The Demon's Extract?"

"Yeah. What about it?" Tatsumi asked.

Esdeath turned gravely serious. "There's something I think you should know. Back then, I told you I had tamed my Teigu, but I when I said that I wasn't telling you the complete truth. As a consequence of drinking the lifeblood of a Danger Beast, I had to contend with the will of its spirit. It took me a lot more than getting past the initial test to tame it, and those symptoms of yours are similar to what I experienced. Time will tell, but if you can't control the Tyrant then this is may be the extent of your life."

"Hold on, are you saying I could die?!"

"I'm not certain - the consequences depend heavily on the Teigu - but it is possible."

"Y-you're lying!" Tatsumi stammered in denial.

"Tatsumi, I would never lie to you."

"You know, I appreciate the honesty, but I'm not sure if that's the most comforting thing in the world to hear right now..." Tatsumi moped. He exchanged an expectant gaze with her. "Well, you've dealt with this before. What should I do?"

"I'm afraid I'm not an expert, but I do happen to know someone who is. I think she can help us. I can't quite remember her name, but the Prime Minister recommended for me to go see her after I acquired my Teigu. She lives in a city not far from here."

"Really? She can fix this?" Tatsumi chimed hopefully.

"If you're asking me if I trust her skills, then yes, I would say so."

Tatsumi felt his muscles loosen. "Oh, what a relief. That sounds like a plan. Let's head out tomorrow then!"

Esdeath blushed at his reaction. He was always so vibrant.

"Very well," she said. "We can talk more about it in the morning if you want, but for now, why don't we get some rest?"

Rest.

The prospect seemed daunting.

When Tatsumi first put his head back down on the pillow, he didn't think he would be able to fall asleep again, the idea of another nightmare was just too much to bear, but then Esdeath lied down right next to him and nestled her head on his chest. He didn't mind being this close to her tonight. The feeling of her skin rubbing against his wasn't so bad anymore. In fact, he embraced it. Soon, the bad thoughts began to dissipate, and then he realized closing his eyes wasn't going to be as hard as he believed it would be.

That night, he didn't have any more nightmares.