And you tell me to hold on, oh you tell me to hold on,

But innocence is gone, and what was right is wrong.

- Bleeding Out, Imagine Dragons

Cloud couldn't help noticing how Cissnei chose the chair furthest from him to sit down for breakfast and deliberately avoided looking at him. Whatever. If she wants to get offended when I don't understand the nonsense she's babbling, that's her choice. She's just weird.

But why shouldn't he remember her? He was sure he'd worked with the Turks when he was in SOLDIER, though come to think of it he couldn't pinpoint any particular faces at the moment. Yeah... weird. And some of the things she'd said had seemed... well, they felt almost familiar, like getting a song lyric stuck in his head but being unable to remember the entire song. It gave him a headache. He glared at the porridge as though it was to blame for the pounding pain in his skull.

The other girl with reddish-brown hair - what was her name again? Never mind, he didn't really care - came to sit next to him. "Hey," she said. Cloud ignored her.

Who the hell is Zack? He wanted to dismiss it as more nonsense, but the name struck that wierd chord of familiarity and deja vu.

Cissnei knows something, and now I've pushed her away. He wasn't sure how, exactly. Maybe he hadn't been exactly sensitive towards her. She'd clearly been upset and he'd been a little brusque and impatient when she'd told him her real name. I guess that must have been important to her.

Maybe he was looking at it the wrong way. She'd seemed more disappointed than offended. I guess I'll have to apologise to her, and maybe she'll just tell me what I did wrong.

"Yo, SOLDIER guy."

"Name's Cloud," he snapped, irritated to have his thoughts interrupted.

"Yeah, sorry, Cloud then. You just gonna stare at that bowl for the rest of the morning? Stop wasting time and get a move on."

"Just a little more..." Jessie fumbled at the lock to the reactor complex. "Ah! Almost got it..."

"Careful," Biggs muttered. "There's two guards ahead."

Cissnei looked up to see that there were, indeed two guards in Shinra uniform heading towards them. Her fingers slipped around the handle of the gun Biggs had bought her, ready to defend herself.

"Don't do anything unless they get suspicious," Biggs whispered to her. Cissnei had to smile. He was certainly taking his job of looking out for her seriously. She didn't need it or anything, but she appreciated it.

Maybe a bit too much. Already, Avalanche was beginning to feel almost like a family to her. I need to be able to let them go.

"Hey, guys. There's some kind of commotion going on..."

"You!" One of the guards yelled. Cissnei tensed up, but he was looking at something behind them. A figure drew a huge sword and slashed, and in less than five seconds the guards were lying motionless on the floor.

"Wow!" Biggs called. "You used to be in SOLDIER, all right... not everyday you find one in a group like Avalanche."

Cissnei was staring too, but for a different reason.

His fighting style was exactly like Zack's. The technique, the way he dodged, everything.

You're just imagining things. You just want him to be Zack. But she was sure she hadn't imagined that.

Breathe, Cissnei!

Cissnei sucked in a breath that felt a little like a gasp. Am I going insane?

He didn't know what I was talking about when I tried to apologize for Zack...

"Cloud, eh? I'm..."

...I need to understand what's going on here.

"I don't care what your names are. Once this jobs over... I'm outta here."

Cissnei couldn't help but feel a measure of cynical admiration for how Cloud had pushed Biggs away. He was better than she was at keeping people at arms length. So... he tries to keep a distance, not get attached, move on easily, not get hurt... and then I turn up, and try to dig up his past. No wonder he pushed me away, as well.

Except the pieces still didn't fit because he hadn't pushed her away, he'd just been confused and then she'd pushed him away. And it didn't explain what was going on with the uncanny resemblences between their fighting styles.

You could just be imaging that. It's the same sword, after all.

But how did a cadet learn to fight like a SOLDIER, anyways?

"Door's open! Cissnei, are you concentrating? We have to get into the reactor!" Biggs grabbed Cissnei's arm and ran forwards, half-dragging Cissnei after him.

As soon as this is over, I will get my answers from him.

Cissnei saw Cloud standing a few steps to her left. As soon as he caught her eye, he glanced away. She sighed. She wanted to talk to him. She shouldn't have been so impatient with him last night. She hadn't really made an effort to explain - she'd just wished so badly for him to understand, without her having to explain anything. It was stupid and foolish, the kind of thing she might have expected of Aerith.

Sometimes, she'd felt like Zack could just understand her like that. But then, Zack had always been... different. It wasn't fair to hold Cloud up to the same standard.

Besides, after how things had gone the previous night, she had no idea what to say. That was a problem she'd had even around Zack, sometimes. Aerith could just hold him silently as he cried and make everything all right, somehow (there had been times when she'd cursed being assigned to watch Aerith; seeing her with Zack was painful), but Cissnei had never known how to offer comfort. Maybe because she knew it wouldn't be alright, that the world was harsh and cruel and no words she ever said could change that, so she'd just stood by and watched, feeling his pain but unable to do anything.

"So... a mako reactor," Cloud said after what felt like eternity. "It's pretty..."

"Big?" Cissnei suggested. The word fell far short of reality. It wasn't big, it was a huge, monstrous construction, something that shouldn't exist.

"Yeah, I guess..." Cloud looked down and Cissnei paused. Was he being shy? Impossible. It didn't fit with the cocky, cold SOLDIER she'd gotten used to. No, he wasn't really a SOLDIER. Though he played the role exceptionally well; she had to remind herself that it was just a role.

"Yo!" Barret called. "This your first time in a reactor?"

"No. After all, I did work for Shinra, y'know?"

"The planet's full of Mako energy. People here use it every day."

Cloud shrugged, disinterest written plain on his face. Back to the cold, cocky ex-SOLDIER persona, then. Cissnei wondered how much of that was an act. She would have liked to think that all of it was, but it felt too real for that. She was a Turk; she was trained to spot fakes, and no-one was that good an actor.

"It's the life blood of this planet," Barret continued. "But Shinra keeps suckin' the blood out with these weird machines."

Cissnei was vaguely aware of Cloud complaining about being lectured, but Barret's image stuck with her. Not about the planet; she couldn't have cared less about that. Nothing else lasted forever; why should the planet?

But Shinra sucked the life out of people. Cissnei thought back to a beach at night, and a lost, desperate and broken figure that had once shone so brightly and lit up her world. ("What did they do to you in there?" "Oh, this and that..."). She'd thought it could never happen to her, at least, because there was nothing they could take that would break her. Oh, how wrong she'd been. She felt lifeless, like the planet being drained of its energy.

Zack had given Shinra everything, bought into their empty words and empty dreams, and how had he been repaid? (The one person in the world who really mattered to her, lying shattered on the edge of the cliff.) Hadn't Angeal's death opened his eyes to anything? No, of course not, she supposed. Zack had lived in a world of dreams and illusions, and she had loved him for it.

Cissnei may not have cared much about the planet, but she could understand Barret's anger now. Suddenly, viciously, she was looking forwards to watching the reactor go up in flames. Shinra deserved this. Shinra deserved everything she could throw at them for breaking the very ones who had been blind enough to trust and believe in it.

"Code deciphered," Biggs declared. "This way!"

Cissnei followed Biggs into an elevator. On the way up, Barret continued to lecture Cloud on the evils of Mako reactors. Cissnei listened with only half an ear. As far as she was concerned, Mako reactors were the least of Shinra's sins. The elevator was followed by a ladder, which led to the core of the reactor. Cissnei was shocked at how little resistance they'd encountered. The Shinra she knew took its security very seriously.

"Cloud, you set the bomb," Barret ordered. Cloud grumbled, but eventually agreed. The room flashed red and Cloud stumbled backwards.

"Cloud! Are you okay?"

No answer. It was as though he hadn't heard her. Cissnei bit her lip.

"... Cloud?"

"I'm fine, okay?" Cloud glared at her. Could she know he was hearing voices? He would have blown it off as nothing, but combined with Cissnei's general... weirdness...

There was nothing wrong with him. He wasn't crazy, and Cissnei must have confused him for someone else. "Sorry I snapped at you," he added. 'This isn't just a reactor'? What's that supposed to mean?

"It's fine," Cissnei said, but her tone didn't suggest that it was fine. Her tone suggested that his apology was not entirely accepted. He was beginning to get used to that sudden coldness that suggested he'd done something wrong. She tensed up completely, her eyes went from their warm caramel to dark and distant. He was sorry he'd hurt her, though he didn't understand why she got hurt so easily, freezed up at the strangest things.

He pressed another button and the bomb activated. Shrill alarms pierced the air.

"C'mon, we'd better run."

Hey readers! If you've read this far, then I really appreciate your interest. I would especially appreciate if you could take the time to write a review. If you tell me what you think, it will help me make this story better, and it doesn't have to take more than a few seconds :). Any thoughts at all would be appreciated even just "this sucks" or whatever, and I promise I'll take what you say into account.