Disclaimer: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

Summary: Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

Warnings: This is PWP - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Four

Black Heart of Gryffindor

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it.

- Frank A. Clark

Draco sat outside the castle's gates, his back against the iron bars, watching Harry as he played with Fawkes. He was grateful that Dumbledore managed to find a shirt and pair of shorts small enough to fit the boy. Now he didn't have to carry him everywhere, though the shorts reached Harry's ankles and the shirt seemed to swallow the boy's undersized frame, hiding the scars that marred his back.

Draco sighed, blowing a strand of hair out of his eyes. Dumbledore said Sirius Black would meet him here at ten. It was now ten-fifteen and Draco was nervous. He knew Black was a relative of his - his mother's cousin or something - but he had never actually met the man. He also knew Black had been cleared, but he was still an intimidating figure. After all, he managed to stay sane after twelve years in Azkaban, and he was able to hide from the Ministry of Magic for two - no one who was a push-over who didn't take risks could do that.

"What have you done to him?" A lazy voice floated over his shoulder.

Draco muffled a scream as he toppled over, startled by the sudden sound. A tall, pale man with long black hair stood behind him, looking like a prisoner again as he leaned against the black bars. His eyes, though sparkling, were hidden in the shadows of his hair. He shook his head.

"Great Merlin." he laughed, before opening the gates to stand next to Draco. "I never thought I'd see him as a kid." Love and astonishment were laced in the man's tone.

"You're Sirius Black?" Draco said, standing up and recomposing himself.

The man nodded, eyes never leaving Harry. "Yeah. Draco Malfoy, I presume?"

"Babysitter of the year." Draco muttered. "Harry! Your godfather's here! We gotta go!" he called, getting the young boy's attention.

Harry stopped playing, and waved good-bye as Fawkes left in a swirl of red and gold feathers. He came over shyly, and hid behind Draco's legs. Draco groaned.

"Stop being so damned shy, you little crybaby."

Harry clung to Draco's leg as the scary man in front of him knelt down. The man smiled, which Harry thought made him look much less scary, and held out his hand. "I'm Sirius, Harry. I'm your godfather."

Harry pushed his too-large glasses up his nose, and watched Sirius's hand wearily. Then, slowly, he reached out and took Sirius's hand. His tiny fingers barely managed to fit around Sirius's palm.

"Hi." he said quietly.

Sirius's grin broadened, and he ruffled Harry's hair with his free hand. Standing, he told Draco to pick Harry up. Draco obliged, and Harry's arms automatically locked around Draco's neck.

"How are we getting to the Muggle stores?" he asked, shifting Harry so that he sat comfortably on Draco's hip, just like the night before. Instead of his normal robes, Draco wore a pair of Muggle jeans and a dark green button-up shirt, just as Sirius had told Dumbledore he should wear, to blend in. Sirius himself wore a pair of dark jeans, a loose black tee shirt, and a blazer.

Sirius grinned wolfishly, and Draco felt the sinking sensation in his stomach that he was beginning to think would become familiar. "Apparation."

Draco paled. He didn't like Apparation, it made him feel like throwing up. "But I don't know where we're going."

"Side-Along, then." Sirius grabbed Draco's free arm. "Hold onto Harry tightly."

Draco barely had time to nod before he felt the usual sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. However, instead of lasting only a second, it seemed to last almost an entire minute. The world spun faster and faster, and soon he was in the middle of a tight alley. Harry's arms tightened around his neck, and he realized the small boy was crying. He automatically rubbed the raven's back soothingly, blood searing as his hand passed over the scars. "Sirius?" he called.

"Right here." Sirius appeared by Draco's right. "You alright, Harry?" he asked kindly.

Harry shook his head. "Don'-don' like dat!" he gasped, rubbing his eyes with his hand. His glasses fell as he pushed them up, and Sirius caught them before they hit the ground.

"I'm sorry, little buddy. I promise, we won't do that again." He put Harry's glasses on, and blinked owlishly. "Bloody hell kid, have you always been blind?"

Harry let out a watery giggle, and sniffed. He took his glasses back and shoved them back on his nose. "I am wifout dem." He wriggled in Draco's arms. "Put me down!"

Draco fought the urge to drop him and set him down on his feet. Harry grinned up at him and slid his hand into Draco's. Draco felt his stomach flutter with an emotion he wasn't familiar with.

"Isn't that adorable." Sirius laughed. "Looks like Harry's pretty attached to you."

Draco grunted in a very un-Malfoy-like manner. "Shut up."

"Well I think it's sweet." Sirius drawled sarcastically. "Come on, the store's this way."

Draco followed Sirius out of the alleyway, pulling Harry behind him, and stopped dead at the mouth of the alley. "Great Merlin!" He gasped. "Where are we?"

Sirius grinned that wolf-like grin of his. "Welcome to the greatest city in the world," he said dramatically, sweeping his arm around in a half-circle. "Manhattan, New York City."

"New York?" Draco's mouth fell open. "The United States? You-you Apparated us across the bloody Atlantic?! Is that even possible?"

"Apparently. I did it, didn't I?" Sirius smirked. "It's buggering hard, but I've gotten pretty good at it. I was teaching Harry, before you turned him into a tiny tot."

Harry's eyes were wide with amazement, mouth open slightly as he looked to the sky. Buildings stretched up high as mountains, and every way he turned his head there were people and structures. Draco's face mirrored a slightly less amazed expression. He had been to London before, and even to Paris a few times, he knew what Muggle cities look like. But New York City made them almost pale in comparison. The sheer volume of people, the yellow taxis that lined up one after another, the buildings that never ended, all of it - it was amazing. It was not the most beautiful city in the world, but it was certainly one of the most intimidating.

"I feel so small…" Draco whispered, completely awed.

"Don't keep standing there." Sirius was suddenly on his guard, pulling Draco out of his awed dream-like state. "Look, you take such good care of yourself people'll know you've got money, Harry makes you vulnerable to hostage situations, and you're obviously fresh meat." Sirius tugged on Draco's arm, pulling him after him. "Keep your head down, don't look like such a tourist, and for Merlin's sake, pick Harry up! Do not set him down until we are in the store, and hold onto him as tightly as you possibly can."

Draco raised an eyebrow, but obediently picked Harry up again. Harry protested weakly, but quieted down as he reached up to play with the leaves on the small trees planted every few meters as the men passed beneath them. "Why are you suddenly so paranoid? I thought Mad-Eye Moody was bad, but you're making him pale in comparison."

"You've never been to New York, it shows. This isn't the friendliest neighborhood, but it's the only place I know well enough to Apparate to." Sirius eyed a group of young men on a street corner. They let out a bunch of wolf-whistles, and it took Draco a few seconds to realize that they were directed at him. His ears went red, and a blush crept up his neck.

"Fuck off." Sirius snarled at the boys.

"Then why'd you Apparate us here?" Draco hissed, pulling Harry just a little tighter against his body.

"No one reports anything weird here, and it's the part of the city I know best." Sirius hissed back. "Whatever you do, do not pull your wand."

"Wha-?" Before Draco could ask the question, Sirius had turned on his heel.

"I said, fuck. Off." he snarled.

Draco turned as well. The men who had whistled at Draco hadn't left as Sirius had instructed, and were now smirking as they created a semicircle around the three wizards. Harry let out a small whimper, and pressed his face into Draco's neck. Draco's eyes darted from one to another. There were four of them, and all of them looked older and sturdier than Draco was. He had another bad feeling in his stomach, and knew by now to trust those feelings.

"Why you gotta be like dat?" The leader stepped forward. He wore a white wife beater, four heavy gold chains, and a pair of faded blue denim jeans that hung around his knees. He was Italian, but he spoke with a heavy accent that Draco couldn't place. The boys surrounding their leader howled in agreement, in the same accent. Sirius, however, knew exactly where the boys were from.

"What are a bunch of Guido's from Brooklyn doing in Manhattan?" Sirius crossed his arms, and jut his chin out.

"Watch yo mouth, ya goddamn cracker." The boy snapped. "You ain't got no right to be talkin' ta me like dat!"

"I'm not going to say it again." Sirius said coldly. "Fuck. Off."

"An' let you get 'way wit dat pretty thang?" The boy smirked. "Don' think so."

"Come on, Tony, kick their asses!" A boy with a goatee stepped forward, a pocket knife snapping open in his hand. "Blondey's comin' wif us." he said to Sirius.

Sirius snarled, and pushed Draco behind him. "Not a chance."

"Watch out, Brit," The dark haired boy, obviously Tony, snarled. "We'll jack up yo ass."

"I'd like to see you lot try." Sirius's gaze swept over the four boys, his stance lazy but his glare sharp and alert.

All four boys smirked, looking at each other as if to say, 'I'd like to see him try.' Tony and the two boys who had been observing all reached into their pockets, and dragged out large switchblades. They snapped them open, the blades glinting maliciously in the light.

Sirius's eyes widened dramatically, and then they rolled. He opened the right side of his blazer and showed the boys something that Draco couldn't see. Automatically, the boys' hands went up in a defensive position.

"Whoa, man, we don' mean nuthin from it." Tony said, taking a step back. "Jus' some fun, ya know?"

"Yeah," A boy with dreadlocks nervously looked around. "We'll leave ya, right, Tony?"

Tony nodded, and tried to regain himself. "But if we evah see you 'round he'e again…" he let the useless threat hang.

Sirius rolled his eyes again, then turned, grabbed the arm that held a petrified Harry, and began dragging Draco away. He looked over his shoulder once, eyes glinting dangerously. "If I ever see you around here again, you'll wish I hadn't."

The boys snarled, but backed off. They ran off, leaving Sirius dragging a bewildered - and slightly scared - Draco.

"What the hell was that?!" Draco gasped, jogging to keep up with Sirius's increasing pace.

"Some punks that think they own the place." Sirius growled. "I've made a few friends in this neighborhood, been helping out a single mother of four, three of which are under ten. The father was killed in a drive-by a couple of months ago, and those damn Guido's aren't gonna leave her alone, she's too pretty. They think they can take over this neighborhood now, and I need to make it known that I'm not gonna let that happen."

"You really seem to care about this woman." Draco raised an eyebrow.

Sirius looked at his cousin out of the corner of his eye. "Is it a crime to want to make a neighborhood safe for a group of kids and their mum?"

"I suppose not." Draco shifted Harry, and tightened his hold on him. "It's just such a Gryffindor thing to do."

"Yeah, well I'm the Black heart of Gryffindor, aren't I. It has the tendency to show on occasion."

Draco allowed himself to be dragged along the streets, the buildings growing noticeably nicer. Harry pressed his cheek to the crook of Draco's neck, the seemingly endless buildings reflected in his glasses.

"What was that you showed them?" Draco asked a few moments later. "Why'd they bugger off? They each had knives, and they outnumbered us."

"Keep your voice down." Sirius said. He made a left, dragging Draco into a tall, elegant building. "We're not in a bad part of town anymore, people report things here. I'll explain later at the hotel, but for now, let's just find Harry some things to wear, eh?"

"Fine." Draco said. "But I'm not letting this go."

Sirius nodded. "To be expected, especially from a Malfoy." He smiled at the lady behind the front desk.

"May I help you?" She asked, not looking up from her computer. She continued to tak away at her keyboard, her eyeglasses reflecting her computer screen.

"Can you direct us to the clothes department?" Sirius asked politely.

The secretaries eyes flickered from her screen to Sirius, taking in his appearance. Draco watched her lips curl into a sneer well-known by all Slytherins, and narrowed his eyes, before stepping forward.

"As you can see," Draco held his chin high, rearranging his features into his best You're-My-Bitch-So-Get-On-Your-Knees Malfoy sneer. "My cousin here is in dire need of a readjustment to his wardrobe."

The secretary turned her gaze to meet Draco's, and her sneer faltered. "Third floor, right door." she said, turning her attention back to the computer. "I take it you want clothing for the child as well?"

Draco nodded coldly. "If you would be so kind."

"Same floor, but to the left."

"Thank you." Draco turned on his heel. "Come now, Cousin. We mustn't be too long, we do have more important things to be doing that shopping in this…" he looked around. "place."

Shoulders back, and head high, Draco spun on his heel and walked briskly towards the elevators. Sirius caught up to him, laughing at the expression on the secretary's face.

"It's a Malfoy thing." Draco scowled. "I don't like it when people act as if their better than me, especially when I am their superior."

Sirius snorted, still clearly amused. "That's a Black thing, kid. That's Cissy comin out in you. If I had acted the way my dearest Mum had raised me to, that girl'd've been licking my bits and pieces in the store window, and considering it a privilege to be doing so."

Draco balked at the man's vulgarity. "Well isn't that a lovely image of the infamous Sirius Black." He eyed the elevator doors warily. "Would you mind if -"

"Stairs are thataway," Sirius steered Draco to the left of the elevators. "I don't like those things much, either."

I live an hour north of New York City. :D I love it, it's amazing. And yes, people really act like that from Brooklyn. It's sad, and it's not EVERYONE, but I know a group of people like that down in the city, and they're really, really irritating. But all Daddy has to do is act like Sirius and BAM! Bye-bye creeps.

I want to say thank you to EVERYONE who has reviewed or added this to their story alerts/story favorites. 3 You've all made my day and I love you all so much!!!

And a special thanks to Books. - She pointed out to me that Harry is, in fact, not a toddler. Toddlers are between the ages of 2 and 4, not seven. I will refrain from using 'toddler' to describe Harry in the future, and I hope that no one else is offended by my describing Harry as a toddler. :)