DYING TO BE LOVED

by Addmein

Christine is a shy simple girl living on her own after the death of her parents, the only thing she has to make her feel close is the music her father loved. As she sings and dances for a living in a Ballet at the Opera house in New York. Erik only known as the Ghost has never been in love,has never been seen until he breaks his one rule his only rule when it comes to her!

4. Chapter 4

AS THE END OF THE YEAR IS NEAR I WANTED TO POST THIS CHAPTER A MEGA CHAPTER FOR AS A LATE CHRISTMAS & EARLY NEWS YEAR GIFT SO PLEASE ENJOY THIS MEGA CHAPTER YOUR FEEDBACK IS WELCOME!

CHRISTINE

After a week had went by we was all in the Hampton s at Raoul's house which was big and bright, it had a pool, tennis court, each bedroom had it's own bathroom. Being here with him and my friends we was worried of course about the chorus line but he told us not to worry about it that he had handled it. And worry we did not well they didn't I did, I made sure I turned on the light in every room when I entered one, looking behind every door just making sure Erik wasn't there. And I smiled when I saw he wasn't Raoul even helped me and teased me a little as he looked under the bed and checked the closets and I just giggled.

"Are we good, need me to look anywhere else" Raoul asked as I stood by the window smiling.

"No it's crazy been here for a week you would think I wouldn't keep asking you to do this, I feel so silly" I said and he walked to me and rubbed my arms, then touched my face.

"I don't mind doing this for you, if I can get that beautiful smile from you." Raoul said

"Not that hard to smile at you" I said

"So we are going to have a movie night tonight we are going to go to the store and get something is there anything you want?" Raoul asked

"No maybe cookies n' cream ice cream" I said smiling

"You got it" Raoul said and hugged me tight. Kissing my cheek and leaving the room. I took the time to go through my clothes and sat somethings out going into the bathroom I stood there looking in the mirror at myself. Lifting the razor blade that was laying there. I hadn't cut in weeks, it was a habit I'd stopped and wanted to never do again, but the urge came at me strongly. I did a few cuts when my dad died and more cutting came after my mom had killed herself but I think she was already dead. She died with a broken heart from my dad dying from a heart attack she felt like he had left her alone...My cutting came to me when I wanted to forget my pain or not think anymore but I was smart at where to cut, places I knew I could cover up I did this 3 times since I been here, but I made sure no one knew, it was something I had to keep to myself.

"Christine" Judi said and I turned to her. "Your bleeding" I looked down at the palm of my hand and saw I had a small cut.

"Oh wow, I had dropped the blade and picked it up must have nicked myself" I turned to the sink sitting the blade down washing my hands.. "What's up?"

"Oh letting you know we are about to leave so be back in about 20 or 25 minutes." Judi said

"Okay Oh put a bottle water in the fridge for me I'll get it once I get out of the shower" I said

"We should be back before you get out." Judi said waving bye to me. After she left I went to the window and started to close the windows and I pulled the currents such but stopped when I thought I saw someone staring at me. I looked closer and smiled when I saw it was Raoul he was cutting off the water in the grass and waved at me, I waved back. I soon got undressed and hopped into the shower.

I was in there humming and singing to myself as I washed up. I was in there for about 30 or 35 minutes once out, I dried off and got dressed and went bouncing downstairs right to the kitchen checking and there was my bottle water I pulled it out, opening it and drinking it. I saw bags on the counter I walked to them looking in them.

"HEY WHERE'S MY ICE CREAM?" I yelled and giggled. "OOh yall gt cookies and chips what movie are we going to watch?" I kept looking through the bag but I didn't hear anyone. "Guys? Judi, Meg, Raoul" I walked out of the kitchen still drinking my water going upstairs. I walked to Meg's room she wasn't in there, I went to Judi's room and I saw her purse sitting there, I went and picked it up sitting it back down.

I walked to Raoul's room going in I didn't see him anywhere, I looked out the window and saw his car was here so they had to be here. I felt weird and I took another sip of water and walked out of the room and I felt hella weird I dropped the water bottle and stubble down the stairs.

"GUYS? JUDI, MEG, RAOUL PLEASE SOMEBODY" I yelled and stumbled to try to get to the front door. But everything was blurry and the last thing I remember was touching the door nob. Soon I slowly opened my eyes and I looked around the room and I knew right here I was at. I sat up slowly and I saw the bags I had pack was sitting to the side. Instead of the fear I had the first time I was here, I was pissed I got up and went walking out of the room.

"ERIK...ERIK I KNOW YOUR HERE! ERIK SHOW YOURSELF" I scream I went walking through the house opening doors but I didn't see him I went through the living room down a different hallway. "ERIK... ERIK WHERE ARE YOU" I kept walking til I heard music playing and I walked down the hallway to the last door and I opened it up where I saw him standing there with violin in his hands.

"Christine what is wrong?" Erik asked as he put it up back in it's case and that's when I ran towards him.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER, STUPID SON OF A BITCH" I scream hitting him with everything I had in me but he wasn't moved, he was taking every blow I was giving him. Like it wasn't bothering him at all. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, FUCK YOU FUCK FUCKING YOU" I was losing my will to fight cause the tears was taking over, I was now pounding on his chest til I was now slowly hitting swallowed me up into his arms in a hug, and nothing had ever felt so perfect to him before. He just held me close to him in the state I was in I just cried and cried, squeezing me close and I literally sighed against his neck in wonder, and he felt me try to hit him again but he kept holding me close by his arms. He couldn't help it! He kissed my hair.

"Why couldn't you just have left me there with them, leave me alone" I cried

"And I'm suppose to sit by while you date Raoul and fall in love with him, get married...?" His voice tightened. "And meanwhile, I'll die a little bit more every day, watching."

"But why did you have to come and do this take me from my friends rob me of my freedom, I don't get it I DON'T GET IT" I said moving back looking at him.

"It's simple my sweet Christine I want you. I want you so badly I can't stand it. When you left, it felt like the world got darker. Like I couldn't truly see anything. Couldn't feel anything."

"I wish...I wish I were dead..." I said

"And what use would that be to anyone?" He said

"I don't know, I just can't believe you would do something like this to me again" I said

"Christine please" he said I backed up from him"I'd do anything for you "

"You don't fucking know me well enough to even say that!" I said

"I do know you" he hissed.

"No! Erik, you don't know ANYTHINGabout me" I said he moved getting closer to me.

"Erik please don't" I braces for impact

"I'm not going to hit you just wanna let you know Your name is Christine Daae,Your birthday is July 18th, Your favorite color is Blue, You love your friends and you'll fight for them, You're 19, you're a dancer, a singer and when you're nervous, you giggle like a little school girl. When I want something, I don't give up till I get it… so when are you gonna give in?"

"No you don't know me, you don't know me" I cried "You don't know what I been through you don't know anything about me and you can't and won't control my life you won't" I turned around and ran out of his music room and all the way back to MY room slamming the door, I sat on the bed and cried all I wanted was my dad, my father to make me feel better, my dad to tell me that it'll all be alright.

The next week was slow but I was happy that he brought all my stuff here, cause I had my laptop, but he didn't have a WiFi signal. I didn't stay in my room like I did last time, I came out to eat and I was in his music room one day just looking at some music books. I wasn't really talking to him, he would look at me but I kept my mouth shut until today.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked

"No I am not so please stop asking me that" I said looking at the music books he had out.

"Are you mad at Erik?" he asked

"No, I told you to stop asking me that question" I say

"I mean if you was mad at me would you tell Erik right?" he asks

"Yes I would tell you if I was mad at you" I say

"Promise?" he asked staring at me.

"Yes I promise" I say and I turn around and walk out of the room. I wasn't mad at him but I was going to have me some fun with him tonight see if I can push Erik's buttons.

We was both sitting at the dinning room table Erik cooked us dinner so we was sitting there and I looked at him as he ate and I was ready to see how far could I push his buttons and maybe he'll get mad enough and take me home.

"Erik can I ask you a question?" I asked

"You may ask your Erik anything you like" he said I nodded

"What do you talk about yourself in 3rd person?" I asked eating my food.

"I just do this how I been since I was little" he said

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" I asked

"No Erik has not" he said and he was eating slowly now.

"So you never kissed a woman ever?" I asked.

"No Erik has not and this is not proper dinning room table talk" he said this time he wasn't eating at all.

"One more question then I'm done. Have you ever been with a woman in a sexual way?" I asked and his eyes landed on me with the worst glare I have ever got from ANYONE. He then got up from the table.

"When you are finish eating feel free to leave your things here and I will get them" he said leaving the room, I lean back in my chair drinking from my cup.

"I guess that's a yes" I said and I finished eating my food and I cleaned the table and I did the dishes and went right to my room... The next few days I didn't see Erik anywhere I made breakfast, Lunch and Dinner he was like me when I first got here... But I didn't know where he was I found out that his bed room was right next to the music room so I just sat the tray on the floor and let him know his food was out here and that I would be back in a hour and a half to get the tray and plates. I went off and ate by myself reading books or listening music on my laptop.

But one day I was up and dressed and going to make lunch when I walked into the living room and what I saw shocked me but I was also happy the door was open, which mean I go get out of here, I ran back to my room getting my cell and putting on my sneakers and I left the room down the hall to the living room and right out the front door. I started walking when I noticed I didn't know where I was going cause it was all dark, I had my arms and hands out when I touched the wall I would move slowly to the side not knowing where I was going just following the darkness til I got to a wall and I thought it was a door so I kept feeling for a nob and there wasn't on. I touched something and pulled it and I felt a gush of wind and I followed it then I hit the wall turning around and around it was nothing but 4 walls I don't know where I was but I knew I scared.

ERIK

I walked through my tunnels back to my door which was open and I knew no fool would dare enter my home, but what if they harm my Christine I was just about to look fro her when I noticed the small red lights in the corner of the wall and was flashing letting me know someone was trapped in my cage of walls. I smiled they should know better then to come looking or trying to find me. I walked back through my tunnels right to where the cage wall was and I peek through the peephole to get a good look at them and see what I should do to them but when I looked and I saw a small ball of someone and that someone was my Christine.. HOW DID SHE GET OUT? I tapped a few places and the walls moved I went right to her.

"Christine, Christine are you alright?" I asked sitting her up some.

"Erik I'm cold" she said and I quickly remove my coat putting it over her then picking her up and carrying my sweet Christine back to my home... After walking in I took her right to her room and laid her in her bed removing my coat from her and taking her shoes off of her and pulling the cover over her.

"Christine tell me how did you get out of our home?" I asked looking at her.

"You left the door open, I'm sorry for how I was acting before, I lied to you I was mad and I wanted to push your buttons to make you mad too" she confessed and I just smiled a little down at her .

"It's okay Your Erik wasn't hurt by it" I said which was true I wasn't but I was more worried that she was going to keep asking me unanswerable questions. "Rest Christine we will speak after your done resting" I walked out of her room closing the door.

That night I was standing outside my balcony looking over the city I stood there I love my city at night it's my playground where I came move in and out without being seen like me it never sleeps, the cool crisp air was blowing. Standing here is something I loved to do, so days when it's warm out I would play and let my songs fill the air. Standing here and being alone so much I knew I was being watched, I tilted my head towards the door and saw Christine standing there looking at me.

"Hi I was bored in the room alone" she whispered and I nodded she came walking out and stood next to me. "I hope you don't mind me being out here with you, I can go back to bed" turning to walk back in I reached out gently taking her hand.

"Your welcome to stay Christine" I said she smiled and stood next to me for a few minutes before she moved to rest her hands on the rail.

"Thank you, your here all alone what do you do for companionship? I haven't met any of your friends." she said looking back at me.

"You're my companion, aren't you?" I asked

"Yes I am in away I guess and as that I wanna get out of the house maybe." She said

"Outside a drive to the park" I said. And she smiled at me.

"Yes please I love the park" she said We went back in and I put on my coat and hat waiting for her to get ready, she walked out with Jeans, sneakers and a hoodie on she smiled at me then she looked over what I had on and looked at herself she moved to go back into her room but I stopped her.

"Please there's not need for you to change this is just how Erik dresses please come let's go to the park but you must promise me that you will not ry to run away from." I said holding out my arm for her and she walked to me taking it.

"I promise" she said

"Good now let's go" I said we left the house walking through the tunnels, she stayed close to me, we didn't say anything the whole walk out of the tunnels where there twist and turns and we stopped for a few minutes.

"What we stop?" she ask then she felt the ground move she realized we was on a elevator after short ride I help her off and we walked to 2 double doors and walked out in to the night air. "Wow" she turned around and looked up and pointed. "We came from way up there to all the way down here.?"

"Yes Christine... Now the park is a block or so walk away or we can take one of my cars" I asked she looked at me biting down on her low lip.

"We can walk" she said smiling and walk we did, It the took no time to walk there. In as much as the shadows as I could with her, but once at the park we noticed the was alot of people here cause they was having a concert under the stars and Christine turned to me and smiled. "It's a concert did you know this already?"

"Erik might have, come with me Erik haves a spot already set up for us" I said and she smiled up at with blue sparkling eyes. We walked to the spot that I had set up for us it was on a hill very close to the concert stage and of course in the shadows, I had a blanket wine and cheese set up. I help her sit down putting another blanket over her and I moved to stand more so near the trees and watched her more than the concert. Half way through the concert she looked at up at me.

"You wanna come and sit down with me and enjoy?" she asked

"No thank you I'm find right here" I said

"Nope come on please" she said and I couldn't say no to those blue eyes. I walked to her and sat down slowly and she threw the blanket over me and then I felt her nestle up again me and this made me smile while we sat there listening to some great music. Sitting there I looked at her and I watched her move slightly and I saw the scar on her hand and I just watched it as she rubbed it. Once the concert was over I packed up everything and we went walking slowly back. We was silent the whole walk back but she still a big bright smile on her face as we walked and she held on to me, hold my hands which was a very new feeling for me and I loved it because it was her.

Once back in the house I stood there and watch Christine dance across the living room and smile, this made me feel good to see her so happy and to know I did this made me feel even better. She kept dancing while I made dinner for us, she change her clothes. But once at the table we talk more so her then me she was so excited about it that she rolled up her sleeve and I looked at her scars and she followed my eyes and pulled her sleeve down, and smiled shyly at me.

We ate and she still talked a little but that was it, after she was done she ran from the dinning room right to her room, after I cleaned up the dinning room and doing the dishes. I walked to Christine's room and stood there I didn't hear anything.

"Christine please may I come in?" I asked not sure if she was going to let me in until I heard her small voice.

"Yes you may" she said and I slowly opened the door to see her sitting up on the bed and I walked to her sitting down in front of her.

CHRISTINE

I was sitting there when Erik came in I know what he was going to say I did try to cover them up and try to keep them not being seen while they heal.

"Christine I'm sorry" he said

"I know..." I said meekly, my right hand was rubbing my left forearm through my hoodie. He grabbed my hand softly, moving it away,looking me straight in the eyes.

"Show me" he whispered.

"Show you what?" I asked confused I had no idea what he was asking me.

"Show me your scars" he said my heart stopped, I was not sure how he knew there was more than the one he saw earlier but then I knew how he known about them. I was good at hiding them. His hand touched the cuff of my hoodie and he slowly pushed up the sleeve. I watched him as he revealed my scars, waiting for his real reaction. The scars was slowly healing, but they were still visible.

He leaned down, his lips barely touching my skin, and began kissing them, 1 by 1. I just watched him in awe as his lips worked all the way up from my wrist to the bend in my arm. It was a gesture that brought tears to my eyes. With the last scar on my arm was kissed, he looked up at me.

"Where are the others?" he asked quietly I sighted lightly pulling the sheet off my legs, pointing to my left thigh. He smiled sweetly at me,scooting down, again his fingers lightly traced the scars on my thighs, sending chills all through my body. Just as with my arm, he learned down kissing the faint scars softly until every small scar had been kissed.

"Any more?" he asked looking up to me. I bit my lip,taking a deep breath, I reached for the zipper on my hoodie, pulling it down. I opened it slightly, pointing to just below my breasts on my belly. Watching my face he moved up repeating what he'd done to my other scars this was not only the sweetest thing anyone has ever done but it was amazing. I moved my hand ran it through his hair as he kissed my scars on my stomach. Feeling his lips on my scars and the cool of his mask made me tremble, he looked up at me and I moved to touch his face but he stopped me.

"Let me see your face" I said and he moved from me turning his head towards the door.

"No" he said

"Please let me see I showed you my scars that no one has ever seen, please you want me to be happy here?" I asked

"Yes I do" he shock his head yes

"Then show me who I am really staying with, show me please" I beg we sat there not saying nothing til I saw his hand slowly move to his face, and with shaky hands.

"I can't Christine" he said getting up leaving the room fast, faster than I have ever seen. After that the next few weeks here, we really didn't talk to each other we still ate our meals together and we took walks in the park but we didn't talk about anything that happen that day and I wanted to I felt bad that he had to live with wearing a mask for the rest of his life. So I wanted to try something maybe make him feel better I gotta do this, I needed to.

So once we got back to the house Erik as always after our walk, he walked me to my room and bid me a goodnight but I didn't go into my room, I stood by the door playing with my fingers.

"Christine speak to your Erik, what is wrong?" he asked and I didn't look up at him at all. "Off in your own world again?" teasingly, "Do I get a hug?" He added, holding open his arms.

"Erik!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms around his neck. "I thank you!"

"What are you thanking me for? Everything I do is for you no need to thank Erik at all" He buried his face in the top of my hair smelling my hair,he inhaled that smell, exhaling deeply, taking in that scent and he felt the heat surge through his body, quickly trying to suppress it. I looked up into his face at the sound of his sighing breath and our eyes met for a long moment. He realized how close we still were and pulled back hastily, feeling a bit awkward and embarrassed. "Goodnight Christine" he walked away from me very fast and I went into my room kicking myself for not making a move then, so I went into the bathroom and took a shower for about 40 minutes and once I got out. I put on a tank top and boy shorts, then short shorts on after that. I combed my hair putting it in a bun, getting in the bed. I laid there wide awake for about 2 maybe 3 hours til I finally got up. I couldn't sleep, and I didn't like sleeping in there it was so lonely in there since I started spending more time with Erik. I realized I left the room and then I noticed that I was standing in front of Erik's door.

^Knock,Knock^

"Erik, Erik" I said and waited then the door slowly opened and I was met with Erik's masked face looking worried.

"Christine is something wrong? What's wrong?" he asked

"Nothing it's just that it's lonely on the other side of the house and I can't sleep" I said

"I can make you something that will help you sleep" he said moving from his door getting his robe and I stepped in his room more.

"No, no don't ummm I was wondering if, it's okay if ummmm If I can" I said looking at my hands.

"Yes Christine" he said and I looked up at him.

"If I can sleep in here with you?" I asked and if I never seen it before he was still, like stone.

"Is there something wrong with your room? Is there something I can do to make your room better?" He asked

"No it's fine just lonely on that side of the house." I said he looked around the room then looked at me.

"Christine I can't deny you anything so yes you may share my bed with me" he said I felt him watch me as I got in the bed and laid there with my back to him after a few minutes I felt the dip in the bed and I heard him sigh. We laid there in silence and I felt good but bad that I knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep with me in his bed.

ERIK

Laying here with my sweet Christine in my bed was a dream half coming true, but she was still in my bed, I laid there on my back eyes open and mask still on, I wasn't sure what to do, I felt her move and I didn't look at her. I just want to make sure my sweet Christine is safe and fine in my home our home.

"Erik" She said

"Yes Christine?" I asked

"What are your feelings" She said and I saw her sit up and I followed her movement.

"I like not only to be loved, but also to be told that I am loved. I am not sure that you are of the same mind. But the realm of silence is large enough beyond the grave. This is the world of light and speech, and to tell you that you are very dear." I said and I felt her hand touch mine.

"So your love for me is real?" she asked and it pained me to have her ask meaning that I didnt show her good enough.

"There is no pretending," I said with absolute clarity. "I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there is life after that, I'll love you then."

"You love me and you want me to love you?" she asked

"Yes I do" I said

"Then for me to love you, I need to know who I'm loving" she said and I looked at her as she moved close to me sitting Indian style. I looked at her those blues eyes are my weakness and I knew what she was asking. "Please" I nodded and my right hand slowly moved to my mask pushing it up, I took it off of my face sitting to the side where I normally place it and I turned my face towards her. I was waiting to hear her scream, run away but the bed didn't move at all so I opened my eyes and she was looking at me. The side of my face was hideous, ugly my face was mutilated, scars covering the whole right side of my face, as if this side was rip with a knife and gasoline was burned only on this side as well as part of my nose was missing. It resembled a decaying corpse, I then felt the softest lips on my deformed face, the middle, the top and the bottom and a small kiss on the side of my nose. I opened my eyes and looked at her.

"Christine' I said and she shock her head almost reading my mind in this state.

"I am not afraid of you or how you look." she said she leaned her head back and quickly kissed me full on the lips! Needless to say at this point, I was not prepared for that! But instinctively my other arm went around her and pulled her tight to me and we held the kiss for a minute I wasn't sure if I realy was kissing her. We broke the kiss and my head went down on the right side of her face and I kissed my way down, on her cheek, her ear, her neck and her shoulder. I had, by now, put both arms around her and she had both of her arms around me. I couldn't believe I was kissing this beauty, I was kissing and holding my sweet Christine but something felt wrong about this but what was it...