A/N: Okay, gotta keep this gravy train running! Not much for me to say but read on!

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Chapter 4: The Scam of All Scams

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"Man, this idea's too good even for me… Well, Lumpy, did you get them?"

"Sure did, Eddy!"

"Did you wash them like I told you?"

"Sure did, Eddy!"

"…Lemme take a look." Doubtful, Eddy opened his pal's locker to face a multitude of fresh, clean, hand-me-down baby clothes and toys. "Geez Louise. Your parents spoiled you, seriously."

"Nah," Ed waved it off. "Mom said I ate most of my toys, so she bought a lot just in case."

Eddy could only reply with an odd stare, but decided not to question further, grinning and patting him atop his flat head. "Good work, Ed! With this and what I've got, we'll have more than enough to filch those pigeons!"

"And Double D's baby brother or sister will know the cuddliness Mr. Fuzzums has brought me!" Ed announced happily, squeezing the dickens out of a small teddy bear.

"Shh! Here he comes, put it away!" Eddy quietly urged, shoving Mr. Fuzzums back into Ed's locker and slamming the door.

Edd strolled down the school hallway in silence, feeling a little more reserved this morning as his thoughts constantly distracted him. He looked up to find his two chums leaning nonchalantly on Ed's locker, Eddy examining his nails and whistling, while Ed swayed and hummed a tune. Edd was quick to realize they were hiding something, but he was too focused on his own worries to even bother to ask what.

Eddy looked up and did a double take, as if just noticing him. "Oh, hey, Double D! What's up?"

Ed waved energetically. "Hello, Double D!"

"Ah… morning, gentlemen," came a half-hearted reply with an equally hesitant smile. The two once again noticed his odd behavior, slinking up behind him as he twisted his locker combination.

"…Double D?" Ed poked him, startling his slightly. "Why the long face?"

Edd blinked as his locker door popped open. "…h-huh?"

"Yeah, what happened to you? Yesterday you were bouncing off the walls and everything!" Eddy elaborated. "Now you're just kinda… there."

"Oh…" Edd feebly replied, rubbing his neck tensely. "Just a little uneasiness, I suppose… I'm beginning to have second thoughts about all this…"

"Second thoughts?" Oh, no, Sockhead wasn't going to chicken out now, not when his plans were going well for once. "Double D, you don't have second thoughts about a new baby unless you're the one having it!"

Edd gawked, caught off guard. He wasn't sure what was more surprising, the fact that Eddy knew that or how he mentioned it.

"Look, you're gonna get a new sibling whether you like it or not, so you're just gonna have to deal with it, alright?"

"What about all the nice things you said yesterday, Double D?" Ed reminded. "See? It's not all bad!"

Edd glanced between his two friends, finding comfort in their words and showing it with a meaningful smile. "…You're right. I suppose my fears are groundless."

"No duh they are!"

"…thanks."

"Anytime, Double D!"

"Oh, Double D!" A bubbly voice called out, and the addressee paused in his movement to grab his textbooks and turned to face an approaching Jimmy. "There you are, you slippery snake! I've been looking for you all morning!"

"For me?" Edd blinked, lowering his reaching hand uncertainly. "Whatever for?"

"The baby shower!" Jimmy exclaimed with a giddy bound. "Just wanted to know if you had the details all figured out!"

"Ah… right!" Edd instead pulled out his weekly planner and a pencil from his locker. "Actually, I was hoping you could help me figure out a proper date."

"Of course!"

"Now, the baby's due in a few weeks, so…"

While the two worked out the date and time, Eddy grinned deviously, tugging Ed to his side by the neck. "Get ready to retire, Ed. After this, we'll be financially set for life!"

"With pension and all!"

"So, next Saturday, yes?" Edd penciled it in. "Sounds good to me. That should give me plenty of time to organize the festivities."

"Wonderful!" Jimmy wrote down his own reminder in a notebook.

"Indeed," Edd agreed, sliding his pencil behind his ear. "Would you mind informing the others?"

"It'll be my pleasure!"

"Very well, then! I'll see you there!" He waved to a departing Jimmy, turning back to his locker.

"I'll be there, Double DeeeEEEK!" The boy squealed when another pulled him aside by his metal retainer, wearing the most shrewd smirk. "Eddy!"

"Shh!" Eddy quickly shushed him, glancing over at Edd, who was submerged in his locker and unsuspecting. Just how Eddy wanted him to be. "What I'm about to tell you can't get out to Sockhead, alright?"

"W-what're you talking about, Ed-mmph!" Jimmy came close to wailing frightfully before Eddy clamped his mouth shut. Thankfully, Edd was busy ironing his tie, and didn't hear the cry over the iron's hum.

"I said shh!" Eddy harshly whispered. "Listen up, Curly-Q. We're having a baby sale, y'know, clothes and toys and stuff like that. The perfect gifts for that little baby shower you'll be going to!"

"Really?" Jimmy grew interested, yet suspicious. "But why must we keep it a secret from Double D?"

"'Cause it's a surprise, Jimmy!" Ed gleefully answered.

"Yeah, do you want him to know what gifts you're getting for his sibling?"

"Oh!" Jimmy frantically shook his head. "N-no, I don't!"

"Right!" Eddy slapped his chest, knocking the breath out of him. "We'll be in the gym 'til next Wednesday during lunch. Think you can spread the news around?"

"S-sure!"

"Great! We'll see you there!" He literally flicked the flimsy boy away, slapping Ed on the shoulder. "Nice save, Monobrow."

Ed beamed typically. "Couldn't let the other team win, could I?"

"…of course not."

The ringing of the school bell got all their attention, even Edd's, who poked his head out briefly, cringed, and darted back into his locker to gather his things.

"Good Lord, the one-minute bell!" He slammed the door shut and twisted the dial for added security. "Hurry, both of you! One more tardy in first period and it's another lunch detention for all of us!"

Usually such a proclamation would be ignored, but this time around, Eddy knew that had to be avoided at all costs. "Right behind you, Double D!" He snatched up his book bag and followed an already dashing Edd down the hall. "Hurry up, Ed!"

"Hurry, hurry, run, run!"

It seemed like an impossible feat, but Lady Luck was on their side for once, and they reached their desks just as the tardy bell rang. The mother of all close calls.

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For today, to Ed and Eddy, time and secrecy were of the essence. No spare minute of the day was wasted; during every five-minute passing period, the two slyly transported their merchandise to the very back of the gym's ball and equipment room, in the farthest corner where not even the gym teacher would be able to find them. By fourth period, they were all stuffed into the back corner, ready for retail.

Eddy looked over their work with an air of satisfaction, wrapping an arm around Ed shoulders and summing it all up in one statement.

"I hope you're not allergic to success, Lummox!"

"Me neither, Eddy!"

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Eddy couldn't believe it. Even after all the confidence he maintained in this scam, he still couldn't believe it.

The scam had worked.

It was only Monday, and all their wares were gone. Bought up by every single kid anticipating the upcoming celebration. And there he stood, in front of his open locker, holding a wad of cash. Not just nickels, dimes and quarters. Green dollar bills, ranging from many Ones to a very beautiful-looking Twenty.

All Eddy could do was stare at the fruits of his work, unbelieving his luck. He didn't even know what to do with this much money.

But was he mentally complaining? Of course not. Instead, the song We're in the Money was looping through his brain.

Ed stood beside him with the most vacant look on his face as he waited for Eddy to say something, gazing between him and other objects in the hallway.

Then he spotted the pile of greenbacks in Eddy's hand. "Wow. That's a lotta cash, Eddy."

At last, Eddy released a deep, loving sigh, ignoring how Ed had stated that three times now. "I know, huh?"

"Eddy?"

Paying no heed to Ed whatsoever, he grinned dreamily, his head tilted to the side on his limp, nonexistent neck. "It's beautiful, ain't it?"

"Hmm…" Ed took a dollar into hand and scrutinized it. "Not really. It's all dulled and crinkled…" He squinted and held it closer. "Whoa, how do they make the writing so tiny?"

"Magic," Eddy breathed in his blissful daze.

"Ooh…" Ed fell under the spell as well. "Cool."

"Ed? Eddy?"

At that inquisitive voice, their trance was broken. Snapping back to their senses, they stuffed the cash into Eddy's locker and pulled out any other objects to fulfill their fake interest. Facing their pal, Eddy was gazing at an open algebra book and Ed was examining a four function calculator.

Edd gave his chums a deadpan stare. "…Should I ask, or would I regret doing so?"

"I wouldn't if I were you," Eddy blurted, snapping his book closed.

Ed looked up as if just noticing his arrival. "Oh! Hello, Double D!" He held up the calculator upside down. "Look! I can spell out 'Oboe Shoes!'"

Catching on, Edd surprised them with a knowing smirk. "Very well, then. You two can keep your secret, for now, at least. I'm just glad to see you're prepared for tonight's lesson. How'd you know I was planning to start on Algebra this evening?"

"Um… instinct?" Eddy ventured.

"Numbers and letters dancing in my dreams last night!" Ed threw out with a mini-jig.

Edd laughed. "Oh, you're both too much!" he heartily exclaimed, popping open his locker to store his things away for tomorrow.

Eddy raised a brow. "Just what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, nothing…" Edd chuckled lightly.

Eddy sighed irritably. He hated when Sockhead did that.

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A/N: OMG A SCAM WORKED FOR ONCE:O Surprising! Ah… yes, yes, there's a Strongbad phrase in there, I know. I couldn't think of anything more random to produce from a calculator. XD I'm hopeless. Oh well. Review!