Chapter 4

While back in Seattle, Max was scouting an area where Logan had told she could get food for Terminal City. "No worries," is what he had told her when the siege had begun. Now after four months things and people had changed. Max was beside herself trying to keep TC with food and supplies. She would go late at night into the city lifting money, anything of value from the bad guys. These items were sold to any low-life that had a street corner for a business address. She didn't have much of a choice nowadays being picky where she sold these items. Before the Jam Pony incident, she could pick and choose who got her precious items she borrowed, but not now. With the city, clamping down on the inhabitance of Terminal City it wasn't easy for a girl, so popular.

Yeah, right. Max giggled at that thought, as she rolled up on her baby, went towards a scumbag she knew. "Hey, you want some candleholders for your wife? They're genuine silver, about, oh, a foot in length and very sculpt-surely," she said in a sultry voice. She was hoping beyond hope, he wouldn't recognize her if she acted dumb.

"Yeah, little lady... What else do ya wanta sell?" He asked with a sly grin and an eyebrow twitching up and down. His eyes were devouring her as she leaned over her bike sexually.

"Oh! You mean this," she held out an ancient talisman that read, True Love Awaits, written in raised letters. It was made of solid gold weighing approximately 8 ounces.

"For the lady, maybe?" Max again put on a sultry smile that didn't go to her eyes. Swinging the beautiful piece around her finger, she gave a sigh. She then heard a siren not far from her, "Gotta blaze." She grabbed the box of money, sat the candleholders down, and roared off into the night, leaving a stunned slime-ball in her wake.

Smiling, she rode through the night feeling the breeze on her face and her hair gently whipping around her like the arms of a lover. She looked up to where she was heading and noticed the Space Needle in front of her. Sirens at the time were a distant memory, looking up to her perch; she had been on so long ago. Max sighed remembering the last time she had been up there. She had encouraged Logan to come be with her before that night when all her hopes and dreams blew up in her face.

She had tears in her eyes remembering the sight of Logan hanging on for dear life, looking at her on the edge of the Space Needle saying, "Isn't that kind-of close to the edge?" She had laughed at that, swayed towards him, and sat down beside him. It was like a movie in her head playing all the scenes but one. She felt in her heart that he would kiss her. That's what she was hoping for that night so long ago. It didn't happen though. She sighed once again and slowly drove away from there.

Back at the Terminal City entrance, she quietly rode up into their hidden entrance; she could hear two men speaking. Slowly she backed up, maneuvered her baby to a near by unkempt evergreen bush and waited. "I know I saw some of them there freaks comin' out of this here tunnel, I just knows it!" He shouted to the other person in the tunnel with him. Max crouch low and saw a trooper in black fatigues, a gun, and a taser, with the gangly man. Oh, shit! Manticore, I thought I blew that place up with all those creeps in it, damn! She slumped to the ground silently praying he didn't have a heat sensor gun on him.

Then suddenly a tall lanky kid dressed in rags ran in front of the trooper and shouted, "Hey! There's some freaks beatin' up each other! They got all kinds of markings on them... Tattoos or somethin'. Ya gotta come break it up, my mom will kick ass if she's wakened up! And my ass is already in the frying pan as it is, I don't want a nother' beatin'," he cried out loud. "Please, stop'em!" Suddenly, there were sounds of gunfire and the men ran around the corner of a near-by building.

Max was torn in two, whether to go see who, or what freaks he was talking about or get safely inside. Oh, shit! I might as well go see ... Damn, don't I have enough on my plate without being in the middle of a fight or with trannies fightin' each other, geez! She thought getting angry with the situation she found herself now in. Getting up, brushed her leather pants off that had seen better days, she quickly blurred to the building to observe.

Smiling, she strolled back after only a moment thinking, They're freaks all right, but not my freaks, good! Seeing her baby, she walked up and began pushing the bike toward the tunnel, went happily toward her new domicile.

Cindy, Alec, Mole, and Biggs were waiting at the entrance of the tunnel inside Terminal City after hearing the gunfire. Max pushed her baby into the designated parking spot for her bike, and then noticed the group.

"Where have you been Ms. Thing," Cindy yelled as she came towards Max.

The three guys said in unison, "Yeah, Max." Then Alec said, "What she said," with a grin on his face.

Max was tired from days without sleep or even food, she sighed and said, "Cool it guys, I just scored some bread for us, kay? It took longer than I expected and well, I...." She was cut off.

Mole was puffing his cigar fast and said, "Bread? We don't need any more stinkin' bread, we need food, cigars, supplies, guns, and medicine; and you bring us bread?" He was smoking like an engine on a train at that.

"No. Mole, Money! You have to have money... bread, for all those things you so nicely pointed out!" Max by this time, was enraged and stomped away. She went to her room, as elegant as it was, to get some much needed rest and sleep. I can't deal with this now! Mole, you ignorant ignoramus, ugh! What were they creating in there? She thought growling and slammed her door behind her.

She was breathing heavily trying to control her temper, when light knocks came from the door. Swinging the door fiercely open, she said, "WHAT?" in her anger before she looked. Calming down, when she noticed Cindy smiling sheepishly.

"Sorry, Boo. I didn't mean to get ya in trouble out ther'. I was jist worried about my home-girl, that's all." Cindy said smiling slightly now, when she saw Max's face calming down from the rage Cindy had encountered a few minutes ago.

Sighing, Max slumped to the cot trying to calm her rage, "I'm sorry too, OC. It's just... I'm trying to make a good situation out of a bad one. I need rest, food, and sleep, but I can't. Too many people depend on me to... To make things right ... And I am coming up short, OC. I can't do this! Sure, we need food, well... That requires money, and then I have to go and get some. The other things, well, that also requires money. How am I supposed to get all those things, and still maintain some semblance of sanity in here? Order and discipline, is what they drilled in all of us and if that didn't work, they beat it into us. There's no order or nothin' in this place! Sure, there are peeps like you, uh, Sketchy and Logan...." She broke off crying, "Logan, where are you? Oh, God... I need you so badly!" She crumpled to her cot crying her eyes out again. That name broke the camel's back.

Cindy seeing the shape her home-girl was in slipped quietly out the door. Oh, my poor boo! What has this place done to ya? And your man, he was just savin' himself because yous broke his heart. He couldn't bear the thought of you and... Alec bein' together, even though that's not the case. You lied to him Boo. What ya gonna' do now? I knows it your fault and now yous sufferin' for it, but there's nothing anyone can do, till he shows up. Hang in there girl, it'll be okay, I hope. She strolled down the hall to the Command Center slowly thinking.

"Where's the Commander, I mean, Max?" A young scanty kid asked as he ran from the Center approaching Cindy nervously.

Cindy looked rather upset at the boy, then said, "Whatcha want with her?"

The boy looked pleading at her and said, "I was order to go find her... Ma'am.

Cindy began chuckling at the name he just spoke, "Ma'am? It's OC, kid. You can go tell whoever, that Max is down for the count."

The boy just looked at her with wide-eyes, confused at the words, "Down for the count, Ma'am? I mean OC."

Chuckling again, Cindy spoke, "Sleeping, boy! She's finally sleepin' and don't go waking her for no damn fight, ya hear?"

"Uh, yes, ma'... Okay." The boy was shaking in his boots, turned and ran back the way he came.

As Cindy walked to the Command Center, slightly smiled as she saw the boy talking a mile a minute to Alec. She walked up to Alec and said, "So. Whose in charge, you or my boo? Shouldn't it be the person that does everything for this place... Takin' the risks to please everyone... The transgenics, nomalies, and what humans stay in this sess pool of a city? Who bends over backward to you, Mole, to make sure you have your nasty cigars; tries not to make you unhappy, cause yous bound and determined to rid this city, Seattle, I mean, of the human race, huh, tell me?" She said, looking around to each station. Finally settled on Mole again, "Your hate for us humans is what's fueling Ames; did you know that? He's fueled by everyone's hate including your own. His crazy peeps feel it too... And they're backin' him all the way! Why do you hate us so, Mole? Why are you always so bitter?" Cindy remained for only a moment on Mole.

She moved her eyes around to Alec, and then pointed out, "Alec? Who has tried to give what wisdom she has to you, in the 13 or so years she's been outta' Manticore? I know she's been angry at some, no; most of the things you pull that are stupid and childish. And to think now you're pulling, what do you call it, oh yeah, pulling rank on her... Grow up Alec! You peeps don't care that Max has barely slept in weeks, much less eating, so that any peep's would not go with any food; did you know that? She has been racking her brain thinking of ways to keep you all safe, keep you fed, and comfortable in this hellhole. She made some mistakes but give the girl credit, at least she still here fightin'," Cindy said, breathing a sigh of relief at having gotten that off of her chest. "Oh and Alec, since you're so fired up being in command, it's the Commander that breaks up fights... That's what you have indicated by that boy there... You sent him to Max, right?"

Joshua came in while Cindy was blowing off steam at everyone who had down her boo. He rose up to his full height, clapped hard and long for Cindy and eventually everyone else joined in the clapping. Smiling he went over and hugged Cindy with varsity.

Alec seeing the people in the control room and near by, came up to Cindy and said, "I'm sorry, Cindy. It was just ... You know, fun to make everyone jump at a command, pissing Maxie off, and general...." He was cut off by Cindy.

"Being a severe pain in my boo's back-side?" Everyone laughed at what Cindy had just said. "She looks at you and tried to make up to her other brother, Ben. She was the little sister and Ben would always make her not scared of what she didn't understand. There is so much that yous don't know about my boo, that you assume that she'll be just like ya'll, she's not. She had a life out there before... Before all this happened." Cindy said turning away from the crowd of people trying to hold back the tears.

Alec stuck out his chest and said, "Then why did she let us out, we were happy at least most of us were. It wasn't our fault, she didn't want to stay... At Manticore. Then she took it out on us, why? And the lie she told Logan?"

Mole chuckled and said, "Her pet monkey on a leash?"

Everyone, in the Command Center turned and stared daggers through Mole at that moment. Cindy was saddened by that accusation and said, "Ther' you goes, showin' everybody your attitude against humans, especially Logan. He's done nothing to you Mole, nothing. When he found out yous like cigars, he bent over backwards getting some for yous. He had boxes of them and then sent them to you, so that yous wouldn't be so hard on us and everyone around you. Mole, you need to go back to Iraq where you were happiest blowing things up instead, of being around us. Find your way to that place, will ya? These peeps don't need your sarcasm and your hatred." Cindy said, and finally out of breath she moved out of the Command Center.

Then turned around, marched right back in, and said, "Renfro, your dear, decease Commanding Officer, hopefully dead; started that explosion and fire on yous, it wasn't my boo. Max tried, to set all of yous free until she could do no more! I don't know what Max called it, Cauterizing that blooming area, but that's how, why and who did it to ya. Now, I'm gonna check on my boo... Your Commanding Officer." Cindy turned around and marched out the door. Everyone was standing, sitting, but no one moved for quite awhile.

Finally, Max laid contented on her cot with a rough army blanket thrown on. She had slipped her rough looking leather pants off and her less than flattering bra to be as comfortable as possible. Max had cried herself to sleep yearning for the man that had stolen the super-soldier's heart three years ago. In her travels, escaping and evading, trying to be one or two steps in front of Lydecker and his merry men, she hadn't seen anyone with as much compassion and fire to human beings until she encountered Logan Cale. He was a modern day Robin Hood, even though he didn't steal, like her, but the sincerity in this man had gotten under her skin, that within no time, she had signed up as the leader of the Logan Cale Brigade. It wasn't easy for Logan, she had denied his crusade fighting him with tooth and toenail, but in the end, he won her allegiants and all of her heart to him.

She was in a deep sleep dreaming of none other than Logan. Max was murmuring his name as she slept. Cindy had quietly slip threw the door when she had heard the murmurs and smiled. That's right, Boo; find your man. He'll protect you and give you comfort. Sleep girl and find the connection to your man. She laid her fingers softly along Max's soft long hair thinking. Find him girl. You two belong together. Find the connection you have and the world will be right for everybody, no matter what comes flying your way, you have to have connections, somebody or something to ground you... Make yous whole again, and Logan Cale was your ground, so yous can battle the forces around you. Don't give up on love or him ever, Boo. He's around Boo, find him. At that moment, her thoughts were interrupted by a soft cry and a smile of bliss fell over Max. You made the connection, you, and your man. Go to him Boo... Just go to him. Cindy moved to a wobbly chair in the far corner of Max's room, sat down, and watched over her.

Max was dreaming and smiling. She was back in Logan's apartment, happy, content, and in love with life. She had come home. "Logan. Logan, where are you? Logan? Damn, he's not here. Oh well, I'll just grab an apple or something till he gets home. She was munching on an apple, then she heard a key being inserted into the lock, looked wide eyes at the person coming into the door. It was him. Her heart almost leaped out of her skin to see a lean, well formed, muscular body of Logan Cale... walking? Where's his chair? Oh, this is a dream, he can walk in my dreams, but it didn't really matter whether or not he could walk or not, he was here! In front of her. She was so happy! "Logan," she mumbled, feeling his name in her mouth, like a smooth, creamy, delicious chocolate dessert --- she moaned as if the sensation over powered her brain filling her with warmth.

"Max?" Logan cried out in shock. "Wha... What are you doing here?

"Came to say, hi. I've missed you and... and...." Max was interrupted.

"Oh, well what can I do for you, Max? Do you need something?" He asked in a neutral tone of voice, putting a sack of groceries on the counter near her.

"Logan? Why did you leave? Why did you not tell me you were leaving?" She inquired.

"Why not? There wasn't anything or anyone keeping me here, so why not? My family didn't care, and it's getting rough out there. I'm glad I left. Now, what can I do for you, money, food, what Max?" Logan said with a bitter tone to his voice.

Sighing, Max's eyes filled with tears but she didn't let them fall, "Your heart, Logan... It's so... so cold. I'm sorry I hurt you, I didn't mean to hurt you, I was...." Max was cut off again.

"Out to destroy me, Max? Is that what you were trying to do? Why? Haven't I given you just about everything? Food? Companionship? An ear? Leads, on your family? What Max? My... My heart... For what... To have you stab it with a knife? To kill me?" Logan said in anger.

"No! To protect you... From me." She let a few tears fall but they were quickly wiped away. "I didn't want you to die because... Because I touched you. It's happened one two many times and... And I didn't want to see you die on me, because it would have been my fault again," she said, letting her heart break more.

"And you thought going with another man, would keep me safe? I'm safe because another man's arms are around you? No Max, that's not keeping me safe... It's killing me! I love you Max, I have for along time. I told you that morning in the car... That 'I loved you'... and you said nothing. You just let me walk away, out of your life. I tried, I tried to forget you, but when you called or rather when I found out that you were hurt, I couldn't stand it. I ran rushing back to you. Like the song," Fools Rush In"... That was me. I went back like a dumbstruck teenager again! And then you tell me you and... Alec." He was so angry by this time; he turned around, couldn't face her anymore. "I'm sorry... I tried to be your friend... I tried to be your back up, be there when you needed anything, or a shoulder, but it was too much. You were destroying me, Max!" Letting his anger subside, he said, "Please, just go... Just go out of my dreams, my life and out of my heart... Just go," Logan said, with a strained sigh he walked out of the kitchen.

Max now in tears, yelled at him, "Logan? Logan... I did tell you that morning... Sitting in the car but... But apparently, you didn't hear me. And I lied to... To protect you! I didn't mean it! I... I love you, too! I didn't want you to die; I didn't want it to be my fault... I was trying to protect you... I love you, too!" She began crying profusely now, letting all of her worries, her fears, her woes rolled down her cheeks. She had nothing else; her life was useless without him. She ran to the back bathroom, shut the door, and finish crying her heart out. When her tears had subsided and composure restored, she walked out to find Logan at the big picture window engrossed in thought.

"Logan?" She choked and began again, "Can we talk?" Max sounded like a hurt kitten. Her heart was laid open for anyone's perusal; she wanted him to see... To see her love for him, one last time before she went out of his life this time.

Logan turned around with tears in his own eyes, looking at her with remorse. "What, Max?"

She looked sad and weary, but began moving to sit on the back of his plush couch, like back when they had first met, before he tricked her with the antique mirror. She slowly started talking and looked to see if there was any hint that Logan showed any interest to her confession, he had a side-glance but still faced the window. "That evening, when you saw Alec... And me, coming from my apartment... Well, I... I let him stay there. He... He didn't have anywhere else to go, Logan... He was accused... Ben, what Ben had done... All the killing Ben had done... Alec... Was accused for killing those people. And... When you accused me... Of being with him... I'm sorry. I... I let you think that... I wanted you to be safe, Logan. I never thought you'd actually think... thought I'd be with him. You were drunk... And I left it at that... I'm sorry, so sorry, Logan." She let out a sound trying to control her tears, then continued, "I'm sorry I hurt you...Drove you away... from here... from me. In her dream, she had brought her backpack and had put it where she usually dropped it so many months ago, by the door.

She turned back with a sigh, sniffed a little and said, I won't try to get in your dreams again, I don't know how but I'll sever our connection... Bye, Logan. I've said what I needed you to hear... You'll know where to find me." With a bowed head and slumped shoulders, clutching her bag she slowly turned the knob, crept out the door, out of Logan's life forever, and closed the door quietly. She didn't breathe, hoping that he would call her back, but that never happened. She got in the elevator heading down, hopefully this dream would have her baby to console her in her time of need, and she needed it badly.

Reaching the parking garage, she slowly left the elevator, and sure enough, her baby was in her usual spot. Probably in real life, he has a girlfriend... That's why he was so distant... No, I hurt him so badly he'll never see or think of me again. A single lonely tear came slowly down her cheek with that thought.She came out of her thoughts from the feel of her baby under her fingers. The feel of her baby sent chills down her spine; it felt soothing to the touch.

Max inspected her baby from front to back as she always does. Slowly climbing on, her voice cracked saying, "Okay baby, take me to heaven." Gunning the motor quietly, she didn't look back and road out into the night. Letting the blanket of night wrap around her, Max went to the only place she felt safe, and drowned her sorrows into the night.

Reaching the Space Needle, she let out a sigh, "Twice in one day! That's a first for me," she said with a small voice, so no one would hear her. She was tired, exhausted, and drained of energy; she chose the stairs instead of climbing on the outside like she normally did, with the rope she had strung there when she first came to Seattle over three years ago. Sitting on the edge like normal, she relaxed looking at the stars above and once again her hair whipped softly by the breeze like a loving arm wrapping around her, giving comfort to her heart and soul. She took calming breaths to relax her raw nerves to where she could finally think of what the future held now that Logan was no longer in her life. Her mind was having such a hard time thinking or even visualizing that future, she began crying again. Shaking her head, she spoke to the stars saying, "I don't know what to do... I don't know how to go on without him." Tears streamed down her angelic face, neck, and pooled on the Space Needle as her reminder, she had loved, was loved, and had been shunned by that love; she had given silently, to the one person that had taught her to love. Max had cried silently throughout the night until she could cry no more, and her heart was truly broken into pieces. She felt the loneliest that she had ever been, and the sorrow was too much for her to bear. All at ones she thought the only thing she could do was die. She wouldn't go on living without him, so she let herself plummet towards the ground. Like an eagle that spread his wings beautifully for flight, then closed his wings, and dove to earth. This is how she pictured herself at the moment, she was free, and at that thought, she smiled, closed her eyes, and fell into the darkness of the night.