I don't own Invader Zim or Men in Black okay? Sorry for the long wait on updates. (I'm horrible I know.) I finished Tak's Deadly Return recently and I am glad. (Although when I do, the plot bunny farm kicks into overdrive.) I have been thinking of an X-files/Death Note crossover here and maybe if I finish some other stories, I will work on that. I would like to thank all who read, reviewed, faved and alerted this fic. Anyway, enough with this A/N, on with fic!
"You sure?" Dib asked suspiciously. "I mean do you know of an Invader named Zim?"
"Yes." K said. "And we also know we have nothing to fear from him. He was banished to Earth."
Dib looked up in amazement. "You know that already?" Dib was astonished. They said he knew more than most new recruits. Actually, Dib wondered, Did all new recruits to the MIB have a brush with a alien before they were brought in and were all those cadets from West Point and Virginia Military Institute and Green Berets there to make sure Dib didn't feel like entrance was easy? Dib adjusted his suit jacket with an "oomph."
"Not used to suits yet are you?" Agent J laughed. "Don't worry." He said as he patted Dib on the back. "I didn't get used to them for awhile."
"Yeah." K said "I remember Slick's first time on the job with me." J looked rather annoyed and embarrassed as if he didn't want anyone to know how he was when he first was in the MIB. J was the type to not want others to think he was new at something once. "He ended up destroying the office with an inter-stellar super bouncy ball." K said with a slight laugh. "Anyway, when I say don't touch anything, I mean don't touch anything. I hated seeing that mess J caused." K said as he put his palm to his face in the memory of that event.
"Don't remind me." J said. "Anyway how do you like it in the Men in Black so far?"
"It's good." Dib said. He put his hands in his pocket and looked around. He had hardly worn suits before and it was rather stuffy. "Can I wear my trademark trench coat?" Dib asked. If he could wear that with his suit, he would be more comfortable.
"You can when it is cold out. In fact you're supposed to be issued one for rain and cold that looks A LOT like the one you have. I'll talk to Zed and maybe he'll let you keep yours." J said.
"Yeah." Dib smiled. He loved that coat; it was one of his trademark looks besides his pointy hair. "I can save the Men in Black money that way. Trench coats are not cheap and I am fortunate on the fact my father was Professor Membrane." Dib sighed.
"You don't need to worry about saving money for the Men in Black. We own the patents for some inventions like microwaves, Mac books, All of the Macintosh industry, Oxiclean, Purell, instant ramen, Velcro, that crazy frog thing, and the technology Disney uses to brainwash pre-teen girls. Just tried it and jokingly picked one of the worst vampire novels ever and now Twilight is a best seller. Worked too well. I think the worms accidently put it on violent when they tried it. Anyway, look around you. "K motioned as he waved his hand around at the headquarters. Dib looked around and realized how exactly amazing it was to be in that building. The Men in Black had taken an old building that looked like it was abandoned in 1901 on the outside, blending into the rest of the neighborhood and made it into a huge astro-base station that rivaled his father's lab in size and technological prowess. In fact, some of the stuff looked like it would make the most modern feat of technological engineering in the Membrane labs look like kids toys for the mentally challenged. He felt like a young boy who had just seen his first experiment with a baking soda and vinegar volcano. "Some of this stuff is beyond what your father could even dream of." K said.
"How did you get this stuff?" Dib asked as he walked over to what looked like a light bulb and picked it up. It then gave a squealing noise, flew off to the tops of the headquarters of the MIB, and started moving around, upsetting desks and papers and bouncing off what looked like an angry Plukesian whom it seemed had just been hit by the light bulb shaped thing. "Sorry!" Dib yelled as he started to cower behind Agent K in fear of what that the Plukesian would do to him. "I didn't mean for it to happen!"
"You betcha ass he didn't!" Agent J said walking over attempting to calm him down. "Now, I'm sorry about the mistake! The kid is a new agent here and he is just learning the ropes okay?"
Dib looked from the situation over to K who had a slight smile on his usually stern face. Dib looked at him puzzled. K got the hint that Dib did not know what was so funny, so K stopped to explain. "You see, J, or as I like to call him, slick, over there did something similar on his first days here in the Men in Black. He ended up destroying the headquarters as well with a dangerous alien toy. Yep, that was a toy. It was to Bassentiena as Furby was to humans, only more deadly. It defended its owner to the death. That's why the young Bassentienas that were being picked on loved it and made their parents buy it out. May not seem like much, but they were banned on Bassentiena. Some wise guy was smuggling them into the planet Earth. It caused that blackout in 2003." Agent K looked to Dib. "You remember that son?"
"Yeah." Dib said. "Spent all day in my dad's labs because it was cool and had a generator. Then he wanted me out of the way so he had one of his pilots fly me down to Gettysburg Pennsylvania. They had power still and he thought it good I learn some history. I did do some fine ghost recordings there though."
"Ah." K said with a smile. "Well Agent D, you won't have to worry about being in the way of your father anymore. In fact, you are doing much better than him. We answer to no one in the government."
"Why?" Dib asked.
"Ask too many questions. Think back to the times you actually did see your father. You ever recall him saying that laws and ethics groups were holding him back?" Agent K asked.
Dib thought about it. He did remember him saying that when he did ask his dad about the work he did and the experiments and the inventions, he got growls when he mentioned some of what Professor Membrane called, "His greatest and most beneficial works to mankind they wouldn't take." He remembered the one time he got his electric bill and got angry about it. Professor Membrane was quoted to say that the guy who threw the ice cream must have got paid millions after he didn't unveil and start up PEG. In addition, that was only a minor offence compared to some of the other rants he went on about ethics holding him back from solving every problem humankind had. Dib knew that that was the only part about being the world's most renowned scientist he hated. Dib looked up at Agent K and said, "Yep. I guess you are right."
"Yep." Agent J said brushing slime off his suit with an annoyed tone. "And I know you will like it. But we have got to show you around and let you get to know some of the other extraterrestrials who work with us here at the Men in Black."
"Okay." Dib said. He then moved his arms around in the suit jacket to make it fit better and followed after Agent K and Agent J and saw them head into what looked like a coffee break room. "Where are we going?" He asked.
"You want some coffee?" Agent K asked.
"Sure." Dib smiled.
"You like it with cream and sugar?" K asked as he walked in.
"Sure….?" Dib said as he walked in, he saw about five yellow, skinny worms about three feet tall were sitting on the counter drinking coffee and smoking Marlboro cigarettes. Dib's jaw dropped in shock. He had not seen any aliens who did such things. Agent K and Agent J walked in and poured themselves a cup of coffee, J adding a little cream and some sugar, K taking his coffee black.
"Agent D, how much cream and how much sugar do you want in your coffee?" K asked as he turned to see Dib's face. He smiled and knew why he was staring at the worms. "Ah. Agent D, these are the worms. They hang around the office and well…" K looked at them and sighed. "…best I can say is they kept things light about the office here and that's about it."
"Junga! K!" One of the worms said as they pulled out the coffee pot from the coffee maker and poured coffee into the mug that he was going to give to Dib and handed it to him once the worm finished pouring the coffee.
"Having a good day?" K asked as if it was any other person.
"Junga!" One of the worms said as K handed the cup to Dib.
"Thanks." Dib said as he drank the coffee.
"You're welcome Agent D." K said as he turned back to the worms and smiled. "Now let's go meet the twins."
"The twins?" Dib asked as he finished his coffee and followed J and K.
"Yeah, they operate the surveillance on every known alien refugee living on Earth. You should check it out." Agent J said. Dib followed them to two beings that looked like plants with a long tentacle and an eye on the end and tentacles that looked like tendrils of their plant bodies.
"Yes. These are the twins. Their names are Welekzxybk" or what sounded like that to Dib and K then motioned over to the other one, "Bob"
"Okay." Dib said confused. He then began looking at the other aliens all on the monitor. He noticed some familiar faces, Al Roker, Vince and a few people who looked like your average Joe Shmoe. One girl who said was at the New York Public Library, as a new employee looked a little like Tak's human disguise but yet a little different. What got Dib was a familiar face from his childhood who was on the screen.
"Miss Bitters!" Dib yelled.
"Yep." Agent K said. "She is one of the last of the Jaundicens. Almost all of them were all killed off in the Great Pique Wars between them and the Mitocondreans. She was the only one to escape capture and make it all the way to Earth."
"She was my teacher in Skool." Dib remembered. "I knew Zim was an alien but Miss Bitters never seemed to be on my radar. Although I seemed to think of some times she did do some things that made me question where she was from."
"Well now you know." Agent J said. "My third grade teacher was from one of Jupiter's moons.
"Wow" Dib said as he looked at the screen.
"Ah, Agent D." Zed said as he walked into the scene. "How do you like it here in the Men in Black?"
"Good." Dib smiled. "It's wonderful." I can finally stop Zim. Dib thought as Zed walked off.