Chapter 4
Naruto's apartment 10:00
Naruto was sleeping soundly.
Was.
The reason that he was sleeping soundly stemmed from the fact that he is now awake.
Woken up by Jiraya, who was still bleeding profusely, even after receiving medical treatment from Tsunade.
He didn't immediately recognize Jiraya. It was dark. So all he saw was a huge bear of a man, who was covered in blood, shaking him from his deep slumber.
Unsurprisingly he didn't take it too well.
"WHAT THE FUUUCK!"
Naruto immediately jumped away from his bed, and onto a nearby wall, which he clung onto with chakra.
Jiraya jumped back to hit the flip on the light switch.
The reason he didn't do that in the first place was because he wanted to wake Naruto up quietly and gently, hoping to create a safe environment in order to tell him the secret of his family.
That didn't exactly work the way he hoped as evident by the fact that Naruto was currently clinging to a wall whilst breathing extremely heavily.
"Pervy-sage!?" Naruto asked "what are you doing here? Is everything alright? Why are you injur-" Naruto stopped his rapid-fire question asking when Jiraya put up his hand with his palm facing Naruto.
The universal symbol for 'shut the fuck up.'
"I have something to tell you, sit down."
Naruto fell from the wall to land on his bed.
"What's wrong? What happened to you?"
He was seriously getting scared.
"Oh! I just got caught peeking on woman in a bathhouse." Jiraya smiled, closed his eyes, and started rubbing the back of his head.
The universal symbol for nervousness.
"YOU FUCK, I ALMOST HAD A FUCKING HEART ATTACK"
Jiraya's face morphed to dead seriousness in an instant.
"I have something to tell you, sit down." He repeated.
Naruto sat down on his bed, grumbling all the way.
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Well?" Naruto asked
Jiraya was trying to figure out the best way to tell Naruto. The situation came as a surprise for both of them.
"I have something very serious to tell you, and I want you to take this seriously as well."
"Okay, I will. What is it?" Naruto was starting to get impatient, and he was still very cranky after getting woken up in such strange manner.
"…"
"Not this again" Naruto complained about Jiraya's quietness
"What do you know about the Fourth?" he asked suddenly.
"The Fourth? Uuhhh, he killed a lot of people in the third shinobi war, his nickname was the Yellow Flash, and he sealed the Kyuubi inside of me"
"Anything else?"
"He was really awesome?"
"When he sealed the Kyuubi inside of you, he was expecting a child with a woman named Uzumaki Kushina."
"Okay, so?"
"She shares your last name…"
"Well there a lot of Uzumaki in Konoha right?"
In class, the students were taught about the Uzumaki clan, who were known to be extremely good at sealing techniques, and also extremely close allies to the hidden leaf. So close in fact that there's a spiral on the back of Konoha flak jackets to commemorate them. Even though Uzushiogakure was destroyed in the war, and the survivors were displaced, with the exceedingly close bonds between the villages, it was assumed by the students of the academy that there were at least some Uzumaki living in the Hidden Leaf, even if they hadn't met any.
"Naruto, you're the last Uzumaki living in Konoha."
Naruto's eyes grew wide, then he got into a thinking a pose.
"No way." He whispered.
Jiraya produced a book out of his pocket, he opened it, and took out a picture that was inside.
The picture was of a blond man, who was smiling profusely and his equally smiling, very pregnant wife.
"These are your parents: Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki." Jiraya didn't want to present Naruto's father as 'The Fourth'. Too impersonal in his opinion. He introduced them as they were known by their friends and family.
Naruto fell silent.
"Why?" he croaked.
"Why what?"
"Why are you telling me this now?" a tear hit the picture that he was holding "Why am I just now learning this? WHY DID I GROW UP ALONE, THINKING THAT MY PARENTS DIDN'T WANT ME, DIDN'T LOVE ME?"
He started to sob fully now.
His sobbing was wracking his body with fits.
This was what Jiraya wanted to avoid, although he didn't truly think that he would be able to.
"Listen, kid. Your parents loved you. Whenever Minato wrote me letters, there was always a page devoted to you, about how he and Kushina loved you. What Minato did, he did not do lightly, and he always wanted you to grow up loved."
They sat in silence for a while. Naruto's sobbing started to stop.
"You didn't *hic* answer my question."
"Why now?" Jiraya asked rhetorically, referencing Naruto's original question. "There's a chance that something could happen that would reveal the secret of your lineage, and I wanted you to hear it from me before you could be told any other way."
"Why *hic* was it kept a secret?" his crying stopped completely, but there were still tears running down his face.
"If your lineage became public knowledge, you would immediately be put into the bingo book. Your parents wanted you safe above all else."
He became silent. They sat there for a while encompassed in silence and misery.
There was a knocking at the windowsill, outside was an ANBU operative.
He let himself in and announced "Tsunade-sama requests your audience." It was directed to Naruto.
Jiraya blanched.
"Is it…?" Jiraya asked vaguely
The operative nodded.
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Academy administration, minutes before
Tsunade sleeps in the kage mansion.
After all it is the kage mansion.
All kage's before her had lived there, and all kages after will live there.
So when her discussion with Jiraya ended, she went to kage mansion to get some rest.
When she got close to the mansion however, she was interrupted by a shinobi that told her Shikaku Nara needed her at the administrative section of the academy.
The place where she would do her duties as hokage on a daily basis.
Which led to her current situation.
Standing in front of Shikaku.
Who had a document in his hands.
A very official looking document.
"We found it." That's all he said.
"…"
"…"
"So I suppose we should tell Shibuki tomorrow?" she asked.
"That would make sense."
"…"
"…"
"Is that it?"
"Yes"
"…"
"…"
"Can I go home n-"
The secretary burst into the room and yelled "SHIKAKU-SAN"
He started "Yes?"
"The acting kazekage is here!" she said with a tone of confusion and desperation.
"Here? In the village?"
"Here, downstairs." Shikaku's eyes went wide. He was a man known for always looking into strategic events that could possibly take place. Knowing that there was a kage directly under him had never been a thought that had crossed his mind before.
"What's he want?"
"To talk to the acting hokage."
"…"
"…" the secretary stood around nervously, glancing at the two of them, not knowing what to do.
"So send him up!" he said with energy. An affliction not extremely present amongst the Nara clan.
"Y-Yes."
He could hardly blame her for her lack of knowledge of what to do.
After all, there weren't guidelines for these situations.
Baki stepped inside, leaving his delegation outside.
He looked at Tsunade, "Hokage-sama, I have something important to ask of you"
"Actually, I haven't been inaugurated yet. Shikaku-san" she motioned to Shikaku "is in charge of external affairs."
He looked at Shikaku, then back at Tsunade.
"This is important for both of you to hear." He decided.
'Fuck, I just want to go to sleep.' This was, strangely enough, thought by both Shikaku and Tsunade simultaneously.
"I believe that you have the sister document to this one." He pulled out a document.
A very official looking document.
Shikaku took it.
His eyes grew wide.
Tsunade took it from Shikaku.
Her eyes grew wide.
"What the fuck" this was, strangely enough, said by both Shikaku and Tsunade simultaneously.
"We need to contact Naruto and Shibuki-dono." Shikaku said.
He pointed to two shadows on the walls. ANBU melted out and went to complete their tasks.
"Did you find any documents that looked like this in when you were looking for that other one?" Tsunade asked Shikaku.
"No, we were looking for a document that mentioned the Jinchuuriki from waterfall, not the previous kazekage's daughter."
"Could you go find it?"
"I'll… try" he let out a mighty sigh, and walked out.
Baki doesn't really surprise easily.
But that doesn't mean he wasn't confused.
Because he was very confused.
Tsunade noticed his confusion. "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to wait until he returns"
He nodded.
He was, however, a very patient man.
When he brought up his suspicions to the Sand Council, a vote took place over whether or not bring this up with Konoha, and then a vote took place over whether or not to immediately go to Konoha in order to confirm the document.
The first vote was a landslide.
The second was close, but in the end, he was sent as acting-kage along with the Sabaku children.
He planned to only take Temari (who was the one mentioned in the document) but Gaara insisted in being taken along with them. And then Kankuro also expressed an interest in coming along with them.
Baki was being constantly bugged by Kankuro, and to a lesser extent, Temari on the way to Konoha. Luckily though, Gaara didn't express much concern with the actual mission, he mostly focused on his siblings, and their interactions with each other.
Baki reclined into his chair for the wait that was about to transpire.
00000000
Ai was very tempted to jump through the window to administration.
However, with the small amount of tact he had, he decided it would be a better idea to politely ask the secretary for an audience with the acting-hokage.
He, along with his entourage, followed the secretary up the stairs to the administration room. Where he noticed that there were three sand shinobi were standing outside of it.
Strange.
The secretary opened the door and announced his presence.
Shikaku also came down the hallway, and into the room, along with Ai.
They then had an exchange very similar to Baki's.
Jiraya showed up with a red-eyed Naruto and told him to stay outside.
Shikaku came out of the door again, and down the hallway, and into the 'filed documents' room.
Gaara looked at Naruto.
Naruto looked at Gaara.
Naruto was starting to get nervous
"Thanks" the monotonous voice of Gaara came out.
"Uuuhhh, for what?" Naruto said with a confused tone of voice.
"For showing me that I don't need to kill in order to reaffirm my existence. I never got to tell you how much you helped me out." Both Kankuro and Temari went wide-eyed.
'This is the guy who fixed Gaara?' they both thought.
"Now, I look after the people who are precious to me, my siblings" Gaara even smiled. It was an unpracticed, seemingly painful smile. But it was a smile nevertheless.
Naruto smiled back, and held out a fist. "It's no problem."
They bumped fists.
Kankuro and Temari stayed wide-eyed at the exchange taking place in front of them.
Naruto then noticed them. "Okay wait. Let me see if I have this right." He pointed at Kankuro, "You are… Kunkuro?"
"Kankuro" he said with a groan.
"Close enough, and you are… Temari? Right? I feel like I got that right."
"Yeah, I'm Temari."
Both Yugito and Bee looked at this with an eyebrow quirked, but both decided not to say anything out of accidentally offending the leaf shinobi and the sand shinobi. Already happened once and that almost started a way.
Usually Bee would jump into any situation with rhymes a-flowing, but thought better of it in this situation.
Then Shibuki and Fu showed up.
Fu was ordered to wait outside, who looked really disgruntled.
Her sleep was interrupted, she was cranky.
That crankiness went away when she saw that Naruto was outside as well.
Shibuki went inside the room to meet up with the other head powers.
"Fu? What are you doing here?" he asked.
"I don't know, a shinobi came in through our window and woke us up."
Fairly standard practice in the shinobi world.
"Are you okay?" she asked, noticing the redness of his eyes, indicating that he had been crying.
"Yeah, I was just told some pretty heavy stuff, that's all. Oh! Sorry, this is Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari." He pointed to each of them respectively.
"Hello, I'm Fu." She held out her hand to Gaara, who looked at it uncomfortably.
"He's not very good with strangers." Naruto whispered to her.
She changed the direction of her hand to Kankuro, who shook it, then Temari, who also shook it.
She looked at Yugito and Bee.
"Who are they?" she whispered to Naruto.
"No clue" he whispered back.
He decided to introduce himself "Hello, I'm Naruto Uzumaki."
Seeing no alternative, the woman replied. "I'm Yugito."
"And I am the mighty Kirabi!" Bee said enthusiastically and in rhyme.
They all introduced themselves to each other. Except for Gaara, who didn't like crowds, and was starting to feel uncomfortable.
Naruto noticed that Yugito and Bee were cloud shinobi. "So why are you guys here?" he asked bluntly.
A reasonable question that was unpleasantly phrased.
"We have no idea" Yugito bitterly responded. She had pestered Ai for the longest time on their trip to Konoha about it. Jinchuuriki would usually never be let out the village, but this case was apparently big enough that it warranted a double Jinchuuriki escort. But now, here she was, waiting outside a door for a diplomatic incident.
Needless to say, she wasn't in a good mood.
Naruto looked at Gaara, who shrugged awkwardly.
And then at Fu, who also shrugged.
"So none of us know why we're here?
No one answered.
At that moment, a short man flanked by an androgynous teenager, and a mountain of a man followed the female secretary into the hokage room, with the two escorts waiting outside with the rest of the entourages.
Shikaku also came around the hall, into the room, and almost immediately out of it.
"Do either of you know what's happening?" he asked bluntly.
They seemed shocked at first from the bluntness, but the androgynous one spoke up "No, I take it you don't either?"
"No."
Awkward silence fell upon them. Rock shinobi usually didn't particularly like Konoha shinobi, but the large one just had a childish look on his face, and the androgynous one just didn't seem to have any interest in conversing with either of them.
"So… I'm Fu, who are you two?" she asked.
Then a round of introductions happened. All except for Gaara, who felt even more uncomfortable.
"This is kind of surreal." Kankuro said "Ninja from 5 different nations just waiting outside a door, making small talk, not knowing what's going on. I don't think something like this has ever happened."
They all nodded in agreement. Indeed, nothing like this ever has happened.
Shikaku went into the room from the hall. Just after that, Jiraya poked his head through the doorway.
"Can you all come inside?"
00000000
The room was cramped.
Very cramped.
There wasn't supposed to be this many people in the room.
But there was now, because history was about to be made.
On the desk were 4 pairs of documents, all with the hokage stamp-of-approval.
Shikaku was making a Nara Thinking Pose© by the corner of the room. By the time everyone had filed into the room, he opened his eyes in realization.
"Jiraya, did Minato know the shadow clone technique?" Shikaku asked
Naruto slightly flinched at the mention of his father's name.
"He mentioned it vaguely in one of his letters"
"I think I know what happened."
Tsunade made a motion for him to continue.
"All of these documents were filed near each other, but also separate from each other. This doesn't make a lot of sense because of the nature of these documents one would assume that he would put them at least touching each other. There's also the fact that he actually made these four documents. So my theory is that he used 4 different shadow clones to help with his paperwork, and they all signed a different form at the same general time. After each of his clones filed the documents, they all dispelled, and he forgot about the whole thing. It's an outlandish theory, but I can't think of any others that would make sense."
All the kage level shinobi nodded their heads (along with Shibuki), while the lower than kage level shinobi (sans Shibuki) just looked even more confused.
Tsunade then addressed the lower than kage level shinobi (sans Shibuki).
"About 14 years ago, news got out to the elemental nations that Minato Namikaze was having a child. 4 hidden villages each sent a peace treaty, independently of each other, that would be facilitated by an arranged marriage with the unborn child, which would be carried out once he became a chunin."
All of them had their eyes wide open. Naruto, while a little slow at times, had a slight understanding of what was going on.
She continued "He then accidentally signed all four of them independently, and promptly forgot about them."
Naruto's mouth was wide open. He was in complete and utter shock.
"T-These documents are…" He searched for the right word "Irrelevant, right?"
"On the contrary, they were all approved not thirty seconds ago." She smirked "Yugito Nii, Temari Sabaku, Kurotsuchi, and Fu. Say hello to your new husband, Naruto Uzumaki, son of Minato Namikaze."
Needless to say, the entire room erupted into chaos.
Omake 3:
"On the contrary, they were all approved not thirty seconds ago." She smirked "Yugito Nii, Temari Sabaku, Kurotsuchi, and Fu. Say hello to your new husband, Naruto Uzumaki, son of Minato Namikaze."
All the escorts that weren't involved in marriage looked like they had all been smacked in the face with a shovel.
The ones involved however…
Kurotsuchi seemed very excited. "Fucking score! I can't believe that I'll get to spend my whole life with the son of the man who killed a thousand of my village's shinobi. He's so hot and dreamy despite being 13. I want fuck him so much, and carry his children." She had stars in her eyes, indicating the pleasure that she took from the knowledge that she had obtained.
Naruto turned ashen in shock, and scooted away from her out of fear. Until he felt arms wrap around his torso from behind. Her stature marked her as Yugito.
"Hey little kitten. I know that we just met, but I think that I love you. Wanna fuck like cats in heat and give me a litter?" after saying what she needed to say, Yugito proceeded to blow into his ear.
At this point, Naruto was perceiving everything as a bad dream. He unwrapped her arms from his torso, and made to Tsunade, but was blocked by an outstretched war fan.
Temari leveled a lustful look at him. "I know this is sudden. But I'm voraciously in love with you, and I don't care if I have to share you with 3 other chicks, because I am going to fuck the wind out of your sails."
The obvious logical fallacy aside, Naruto turned to the only person that he felt like he could count on.
Fu.
She was looking on at the situation unfold with as much surprise as was. So he quickly ran to her side for some morsel of normality.
He felt safe-ish by her person until he felt a hand go into the waistband of his pants and reach for his manhood. She whispered in his ear. "I'll be your queen. So let's make some workers."
Naruto reeled away from her. He didn't even know what to do with the bug metaphor. All eyes were on him, all showing one emotion or another.
One would believe that being surrounded by females who only wanted to fuck the daylights out of one would be an extremely opportune event to happen to that person. But as Naruto looked at all his fiancée's various expressions of lust, the only emotion that came over Naruto was dread.
They advanced on him at the same time, all with thoughts on procreation.
Don't worry though. He'll learn to love it.