Rick handed him a gun with not much explanation. Daryl raised an eyebrow before he took it. He had gone to his tent with every intention of getting a few hours sleep but Beth's words kept turning in his head. He had shifted around until he had given up. What did that precious little bitch know anyway? She knew nothing about the cost of survival. Not in this life or the last. Daryl had rolled back outside and settled for splashing some water on his face. At this point he had to look as old as he felt.

"You want me t'shoot his kneecap or somethin'?" Daryl asked glibly.

"Just returning what's yours," Rick said.

Daryl took a better look at the gun his hand. It wasn't his, it was Merle's.

"Where'd you get this?" Daryl asked darkly.

Rick put his hands on his hips and met his stare head on. He wasn't intimidated by Daryl's glower. "Carl had it."

"How did Carl get it?"

Rick didn't answer but Daryl quickly figured out that someone had been poking their nose where it didn't belong. Daryl checked the safety was off before shoving it into the waist band of his pants.

"Tell your kid to keep his hands off my stuff," he growled.

"I've spoken to him," Rick assured Daryl.

"If he don't, I'll take his hand and add it to my collection."

This time Rick did wince. Not because he thought Daryl's threat had any real merit but because Daryl's words conjured up the image of walker parts dangling, strung up between the trees.

"He's got ball though," Daryl felt compelled to add. He was annoyed that Carl had gone through his things but he felt a little bit of admiration at the guts it would have taken to do something like that. Older, bigger people had taken one look at Daryl and been scared.

"Excuse me?" Rick asked, even though he had heard right.

"Carl. He's a tough kid."

"I don't want him to be tough; I want him to be a kid." Rick sounded dejected and Daryl knew the weight of the decision was sitting heavy on his shoulders. Daryl didn't much envy him. Sure he had opinions on the situation but he was keeping them to himself for now. He wasn't used to being so circumspect but he didn't want to paint a target on his back for good ole' Shane to zoom in on. Dale was doing a good enough job on his own of encouraging Shane's ire. When the bomb finally exploded, Daryl didn't want to be standing directly in its path.

"Sometimes you ain't got a choice about how it's gotta be."

Rick fixed Daryl with a studying look and Daryl got the uncomfortable sense that he wasn't just looking at Daryl the man but was trying to see the ghost of Daryl the child in his eyes. He was looking in the wrong place. All the remnants of his upbringing were on his back.

"Well I'm sorry. I'll get Carl to apologise himself."

Daryl wanted to tell him not to bother but something about the idea of a cop's son having to apologise to the likes of him amused him.

"You know where to find me." Daryl nodded towards the barn. Rick followed his gaze and a look of consternation appeared on Rick's face. Rick looked like he wanted to say something else. Daryl watched it war on his face before he walked away.

He didn't like the fact that Daryl was torturing Randall. Truth be told, Daryl didn't like it either. Something Beth said kept resonating. She had pointed out that Randall wasn't much older than she was and it was true. Daryl looked at her and saw a young girl and to have Randall thrown into perspective like that made him feel uncomfortable. It was harder to see him as a threat when you knew he was barely out of high school. Daryl groaned and wished he could just banish Beth's voice from his head. She was nobody to him.

"You don't know shit," Daryl said out loud even though Beth was nowhere to be seen. She was right but he was equally so. If that group ever caught up with them then Beth would be one of their first targets, with her big blue eyes and long blond hair. It wouldn't matter to them that she was only a teenager.

He took a step towards the barn and hesitated. He physically couldn't make himself take another step. He unconsciously flexed his fingers and the skin on his knuckles felt tight from the wounds. Daryl cursed out loud. He stalked back to his tent and scooped up his crossbow.

A hour of hunting would clear his head of this insanity.

...

Beth knew it was rude to eavesdrop but she couldn't drag herself away. Lori and Dale were talking close to the house and she could hear every single word.

They were talking about Randall but that didn't surprise her. All anybody did these days was talk about Randall. Whether he should live or whether he should die. Beth was heartily sick of hearing the boy's name and that in itself made her feel guilty. They were discussing his life; surely she could spare some more tolerance for the discussion.

Maybe it was because nobody asked her opinion on the issue. They just assumed the fragile depressed seventeen year old would have nothing of interest to add.

Daryl's bloody hand flashed prominent in her mind. He was an ass but she hadn't thought he was a bad person necessarily. Now she knew there was a darkness in him that she didn't fully comprehend. Thinking about Daryl just made her mad for so many reasons so she had listened to the conversation shamelessly.

Lori was saying she supported Rick in his decision and Dale was suggesting that Lori could nudge him in the right direction. Dale was one of the few supporters that Randall had in the camp.

Beth agreed with Dale. People listened to Lori when she spoke. If she joined Dale and defended Randall then Rick would probably listen. She wasn't like Beth, ignored or brushed off or ridiculed. Daryl's grating, rough voice echoed in her ears and she felt it like sandpaper on her skin. If Lori had spoken to Daryl, she bet he would have paid more attention to her.

Beth's anger cooled immediately when Dale mentioned Shane. She still avoided him as best she could. He didn't see her as more than part of the scenery but when his eyes happened to pass over her it sent a shiver down her spine.

Lori ended the conversation and Beth just had time to cross the room and sit in an armchair before Lori entered.

Lori looked worried. Her forehead was creased and her mouth was a tight line. When she spotted Beth she forced a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Beth liked Lori; she had always been kind to her.

Lori put a hand on her belly and Beth wondered if Lori knew that she did that or whether the action was all subconscious.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better," Beth answered because it was the truth. Andrea was right. The pain hadn't left her but living with it was starting to feel like normal. Beth could barely remember a time before she had the permanent grief in her heart, even though it hadn't been that long since she had tried to kill herself.

Her father had taken the stitches out earlier in the day and Beth had been relieved to see them go. The scar was fresh and pink but now that the stiches were out, her skin didn't itch like crazy. She had found herself running her fingers along the raised skin repeatedly through the day. It was a reminder of what she wouldn't let herself become ever again.

"What about you?" Beth asked, tucking her feet up under her.

Lori exhaled and took a seat across from Beth. "It's complicated."

"I was depressed not stupid," Beth pointed out with a weak smile to lessen the sting of her words.

Lori looked at her surprised. She nodded and leaned forward, propping her elbows up on her knees.

"I'm tired of everyone looking at me to give my blessings on their plan," Lori said in a rare moment of candour. Lori was nice to Beth but Beth always got the sense that Lori was full of so many secrets and hidden thoughts that she might explode.

"Are you excited about the baby?"

"Excited. Terrified. Confused." Lori leaned back again and ran her fingers through her hair. Beth thought she wasn't the only fragile one on the farm. Lori didn't look like she had eaten enough or gotten enough sleep in weeks.

"I love Rick," Lori continued, "but I'm just not certain that I'm doing the right thing, bringing another person into this world."

"Life has to go on," Beth said and hoped Lori didn't point a finger at her and name her hypocrite.

The two of them lapsed into silence. Beth didn't know what to say to comfort the other woman and Lori was consumed with her own thoughts.

...

Daryl had found the woods to be lacking anything substantial that they could eat. He didn't think there were other hunters but likely the walkers had picked this area clean. This made him worried. An area this big should be teaming with game but there was nothing. Maybe a squirrel or two. It made him think there were more walkers out there than he thought. If they'd eaten everything with a heart beat out here then it was only a matter of time before they began looking for food in other places.

Daryl thought of the farm with its cattle and soft defences. It was something to bring up with the group, presuming they didn't shoot him down.

He had come back to the farm but he still wasn't willing to go into the barn. Daryl told himself it wasn't because of what Beth said but because it was just unlikely Randall had much more to tell them.

"That hurt?" Carl asked. Daryl didn't jump. He had heard the light footsteps that told him he was being approached by someone who wasn't an adult. Carl was the only non-adult. Well, him and Beth but he half imagined he'd be able to hear her pounding heart from the fear of approaching him.

"You should see the other guy," Daryl muttered. He knew Carl was here to apologise but there seemed to be very little contrition on Carl's face. It made him like Carl more than he had to date. It kind of reminded him of himself at that age. All daring and rebellion.

"I'm sorry for going through your things," Carl said. He was uncomfortable and awkward with Daryl.

Daryl narrowed his eyes at the boy, not softening his face at all. Carl wanted to mess with other people than he had to learn some people would bite back. Best to learn the lesson from someone who genuinely didn't mean him any harm, like Daryl.

"You better not let it happen again," Daryl snarled. He was impressed with himself. That came out far more threatening than he intended. He was gratified when Carl paled.

Daryl idly scratched at his chin. "You were lucky you didn't knock the explosives in there. We woulda been picking little bits'a you off the farm for weeks."

Carl was equal parts grossed out and fascinated.

"There weren't any explosives in there," he said confidently. When Daryl didn't answer he added, "Was there?"

Daryl shrugged. "Not for you ta know."

Carl studied him, looking for a hint of a lie but Daryl could give a good poker face when he needed to. He didn't need to know that Merle could never have been trusted not to blow himself up if he had that kind of gear in his bag.

Carl's gaze alighted on Daryl's crossbow and there was a spark in the boy's eyes.

"Can you teach me how to fire that?"

"Your arms ain't big enough," Daryl said curtly. He didn't want to get saddled teaching the kid the finer points of using a bow. He didn't have the patience to teach a kid.

Carl looked like he wanted to argue the point but Daryl saw Carol approaching with a grim set of her jaw. He could just imagine what she was coming to tell him.

"Go on, get. I got things that needs doin'."

Daryl watched Carl leave and wished he could have kept talking to him rather than talk to Carol. She called his behaviour into question and he knew she'd have things to say about his treatment of Randall.

...

Beth had gone for a walk again. It was late afternoon and the house had started to feel repressive. She had invited Jimmy along but he had declined. Rick had promised to teach him some more about guns and Beth just couldn't compete with that. She assumed it was a male thing and had told Patricia as much.

Patricia had laughed and patted her arm. "They're a separate species, honey. Don't waste too much time trying to understand them."

There was a tightness around Patricia's eyes that let Beth know she was still mourning the loss of Otis.

She didn't go too far away from the house but she relished the illusion of freedom. If she was bolder she would have taken her horse out.

Beth trailed between the trees and for the second time that day she found herself listening to a conversation she wasn't part of. It was Dale again but when she heard Daryl's voice, she darted behind a tree. Today had been a good day; she didn't need him ruining it for her.

Dale was trying to recruit Daryl and Daryl wasn't having much of it. He wasn't outright obnoxious to Dale like he was to her but he was curt and a little difficult.

Beth wished they'd hurry up and move along so she could get on with her walk. That was until Dale said something that made her feel cold. Dale was convinced Shane had killed Otis. She waited for Daryl to snort and shoot down the suggestion in that condescending manner of his.

But he didn't. He told Dale he knew. Beth's breath caught in her throat and she slid down the tree and sat on the ground. Shane had murdered Otis. She pressed a hand to her mouth as she listened to them finish their conversation.

"This group is broken," Daryl spat at Dale before striding off. He walked right past the tree that Beth was sitting at the base off.

"How did Otis die?" Beth called to him as he passed her. Daryl jumped and swore. She had startled him, something she was certain not many people could boast of.

He looked at her with exasperation. "Why ain't I surprised to find you here? Do you just follow me round?" he demanded.

Beth ignored his questions, pushing herself to her feet. "Did Shane kill Otis?"

Daryl opened his mouth and shut it again. He actually looked uncomfortable.

"I reckon so," he eventually said. There was an awkward pause. Beth's mind was reeling.

"You're right," she said abruptly. "This group is broken."

Daryl didn't know what to make of the fact she was agreeing with him, that much was plain.

"You gonna tell your people?" Daryl asked.

Beth's immediate reaction was to say yes, then everyone would know what a monster Shane was. Then she stopped to consider. There was no evidence, just speculation. Beth wasn't so oblivious that she didn't know that neither of Dale or Daryl would be considered reliable. Dale, because he notoriously opposed Shane and Daryl, because he was Daryl. Beth didn't think either man was wrong. It fit with what she thought of Shane.

She shook her head. "It'll just hurt Patricia. She thinks Otis died a hero."

"He did," Daryl interjected and then snapped his mouth shut. He hadn't planned that. Beth stared at Daryl. She hadn't expected him to know a kind word, let alone say one to her.

Beth pushed past Daryl, leaving the man silent in her wake for once.

"Beth?" he called after her. Beth turned back, feeling lost. "He'll get his. Assholes always do."

She could see in his eyes that he was lying. Daryl thought he would get away with it but Beth appreciated the intent behind the lie. It was possible that Daryl wasn't as bad as she thought.

AN: This chapter is well over due. I've just had a very, very busy week but I anticipate having more time to write in the coming days. I think this chapter was good (am I biased? Maybe) and had a smooth flow. Let me know what you think m'dears.