Love Drunk

Chapter 3: And I Still Taste It On My Tongue

Stan's POV

"Five more minutes mum." I groan as I roll over as someone shakes me repeatedly.

"That's what you said the last twelve times." From the sound of Kyle's voice he's smiling. I'm glad someone finds this funny and that it's not Kenny or Craig for a change. "God forbid I have to hit you over the head with the Bible or something like that." At the mention of the bible and my head I sit up and open my eyes.

"I'M UP!" I declare and I see Kyle sit on something. "You didn't actually get the Bible did you?" I ask as I try and look at what he's sat on.

"Unfortunately I don't own a bible, Jewish remember? I got The Stand instead.I figured that was close enough."

"Yeah that is close enough, considering neither of us own a Bible." I blink rapidly a few times as Kyle walks away. I see that he's already fully dressed and has started unpacking his books that I left for him to do. "Why did you wake me up?" I ask as I see him shove The Vampire Diaries on a shelf. I thought that series was for girls but okay, let's just pretend it's unisex for the Hell of it.

"It's eight o'clock and you have a lecture at nine. Need I say more?" He smiles as he looks at me and I groan. His eyes show a hint of concern as he looks at me and I see him absent-mindedly put the House Of Night books next to the other books. As he lets go of the seventh book, Burned, the whole set falls over and he shoves them back up before placing the rebellious Burned on an angle to keep the rest up. "Stupid book." I hear him mutter then he looks at the pile of books near his feet – that I hadn't seen before – and picks up some more books and shoves them on. "Shouldn't you get dressed?" I hear him ask when I keep watching him and I've made no attempt to move.

"Yeah..."

"Why do I think there should be a but at the end of that sentence Stan?".

"Cause there should be." I reply simply and smile when he looks completely confused.

"Get changed." is all I get in response and my smile widens as he blushes. I quite happily jump out of bed and almost skip to my wardrobe. I've been up about five minutes and I've already confused someone. I can feel Kyle looking at me as I open my wardrobe and throw a t-shirt on my bed. I rake through my hangers to find my black button-down shirt that I wear as a jacket and when I find it I throw that on my bed.

"Skinnies...skinnies..." I mutter as I search for my only pair of skinny jeans that aren't ripped. Upon finding the amazing pair of non-ripped skinnies I throw them over my shoulder and I grab my jacket and shirt as I walk past and I head towards the bathroom.

The bathroom smells of mint and I quite quickly come to the conclusion that Kyle's already had a shower this morning. I pull my BMTH top off and throw it onto the floor as I pick up my shirt for today and I stare at it. It's a black YouMeAtSix 'Save It For The Bedroom' t-shirt but I don't remember buying it. I find an envelope inside it and I pull it out. Scrawled in my sister's writing is the word 'Turd.' I shake my head and throw the envelope on top of my other t-shirt. I pull the new top on and I smile as it clicks in my brain that my sister actually did a nice thing for me. I pick up my jacket and take a look at it carefully. It's a plain black button down shirt and I wear it with everything. I pull it on and I leave it unbuttoned and I turn to the mirror to see if the words 'these lips belong to someone else' that are on my t-shirt are visible. When I see that they are I pull my skinny jeans on, smiling when my t-shirt touches the waist of them. I gather my clothes and the envelope and walk out the bathroom as I see Kyle place the last of his books on the shelf and I smile when I see what books they are; Harry Potter. He turns as he hears the door shut and I see him blush and quite quickly turn away. "What's the matter Kyle?" I ask teasingly as he sits on his bed without meeting my eyes. I place my pile of clothes on my bed and I watch Kyle curiously from my own bed.

"I...I...I'm not sure." Kyle replies hesitantly and shits a brick when his ringtone goes off. "WHAT JENNA?" He yells down the phone when a girl yells "HEY!" at him. "Aw Hell no."

"I heard that. Again." I hear Damien mutter as he walks past our door and I hear Pip laugh.

"Remind me Jenna why did we let Ian have a car?" I give Kyle a strange look and he just waves me away. "Wait, if your with Ian then how do you know Max is in the boot?" He looks up at the clock and points at it. I shrug when I see the time it's only quarter past eight I have half an hour before I should go find the room I'm in. "Tell him he's dick from me when you let him out. And thanks for bringing my CDs down Jen."

"HEY WHAT ABOUT ME?" A boy yells from Kyle's phone and Kyle holds the phone away from his ear. "I'M DRIVING HER!"

"Thank you Ian." Kyle says as he hits the end call button and leans back on his bed with a resigned sigh.

"Okay, what just happened?" I ask, completely baffled by Kyle's conversation and he looks up at me.

"Cue Jenna Hutchens, Ian Levant and Max Traversdale, the three biggest pains in my butt, deciding 'Hey! Let's go bug Kyle and give him his CDs.' I am going to stab one of them when they get here." He explains as his phone goes off again. I watch as he ignores it before looking back at me. "You go to your lecture. I've got to go to a English thing. They're going to be here around lunch so enjoy the four hours of peace you have while you can." Kyle says as he picks up his key and phone and shoves them in his jeans pocket.

"Are they that bad?" I ask as I shove some shoes on. Kyle gives me a knowing look and I just nod as I shove my key and phone in my pocket.

"They are crazy and the amount of times I've contemplated pushing them out a tree or a window isn't funny any more." Kyle elaborates and smiles gently at me. "Anyway don't worry I'll probably be here to greet them and that should calm them down a bit. If it doesn't I'll make them calm down. Just be back here for twelve. Have fun!" He yells back as he walks out the room. I shake my head at the time as I stand up and upon seeing that Kyle shut the door behind him I walk to the shelves where he'd been putting his books. Harry Potter, House Of Night, Vampire Diaries, Stephen King, Series Of Unfortunate Events, Marvel Comics, Batman Comics, Manga, Fall Out Toyworks and The Scott Pilgrim set are just the ones I know and it shocks me at how many books his has. I stroke the spine of the last Scott Pilgrim volume as I realise it's the only one I haven't read yet. I'll ask Kyle if I can borrow it later I think as I turn on my heel and walk out of our door. I lock the door behind me and I jump as I see Red walking towards me.

"Hey Stan!" She says as she realises it's me. I smile softly at Red as I high-five her. Red isn't her real name, her real name was Mianna-Leigh Anastasia but everyone called her Red because she loves red and has bright red hair. I take in Red's appearance today, she'd opted for a short black skirt and a red blouse with red and black boots plus her small black leather clutch bag she always had. Her long red hair was in plaits making me wonder if Lexus had done her hair.

"Hey Red, you enjoy your birthday?" I ask as I politely hold the door at the end of the corridor open for her.

"I did, thanks. I thought Wendy and Bebe had forgotten because they turned up late, turns out that Token and Clyde had held them up." She says as she stops in the corridor. I bristle as she mentions Clyde and she notices. "Sorry for mentioning him Stan."

"It's okay Mia." I say and she looks across at me as I use the nickname I gave her. "I'm over that now, I need to be able to hear his name anyway he's in my class."

"So am I." I hear her say as Butters walks out of his room and Cartman is heard shouting.

"SHUT UP ERIC!" Me and Red both jump as Butters yells. Cartman stops shouting at Butters' shout and a few kids who know Butters open their doors to look at him. Butters sighs and I watch as he walks off down the corridor in a huff.

"I feel sorry for that kid." I hear Token say before he shuts his door and I hear Clyde snort. I look down towards my room and I curse internally. I'm three doors away from Clyde. Yay.

"Seeing as we know who Leopold's stuck with, can we touch the subject of room mates?" She asks when we start walking. Red was strange, she hated being called Mianna or Mianna-Leigh but if people like Butters had a nickname she'd call them by their real name, so Butters got called Leopold, Lexus got called Roxanne and Cartman got called Eric. I nod at her question as we walk down the stairs and I see her smile at me before bouncing down the stairs. "I'm with Roxanne and and we love it! Who are you with?" I smile at her as we get outside and she starts skipping in the direction that a signpost says is the way to the lecture halls.

"I'm with a kid from Jersey, Kyle Broflovski. He's cool and we're really similar." I say as I hear the words 'It doesn't matter where your coming from, I am yours. She said on a candlelit front porch.' from her bag.

"Ooh! That'll be Heidi!" She exclaims as she pulls her phone out. "Sorry Stan but the girl needs help with an outfit, I've got to help." Red says as she puts her phone back in her bag.

"Knock yourself out Red, I'll save you a seat." I reply as we share a quick hug. I watch as she skips back the way we came and I curse as I see Clyde walking in my direction. By himself. Oh this isn't going to end well. I think as I pretend I haven't seen him and I walk into the building with a big sign saying 'Lecture Halls' above the doorway. I walk briskly down the hallway and I find a door with the word 'Sport' written on it. I look at the list next to it and when I see my name I nod and walk in.

The lecture hall was a rectangle-shaped room and you walked in underneath the seats. I walked forward a few more paces and upon seeing stairs to the right of me, I jogged up them. I stopped at the third row and looked around. There was Dylan and Evan sat on the back row making that the 'goth' row and they'd been joined by three boys and a girl that were as equally gothic as themselves. Nobody was sat on the first, second or fourth row, but Gary and Mark were sat on the third row chatting away about Mormons. I hear the door go to the left of me and making my mind up quickly, I shimmy until I'm halfway down the fourth row and sit down. I look at the clock above the board directly opposite the seats and I see that we've got another five minutes before the lecture starts. I look idly around the room and when I see Clyde walking up the stairs I look away from him. I see out of the corner of my eye that Clyde's decided on the fourth row like me and I cringe back into my seat.

"Yo! Conformist!" I hear Dylan yell and everyone turns to look at him. Clyde gives him a 'who me?' look and Evan nods at him. "Don't you think you've hurt Raven enough?" Dylan asks when he sees that he has everyone's attention. I cringe further back into my seat as I hear the door slam into the wall and Red and Cartman appear both looking very pissed at the other.

"Hurt him enough Goth?" Clyde says simply and I see Dylan bristle at being called 'Goth'. Evan looks at Clyde with a 'please-don't-make-him-want-to-kill-you-more-then-he-already-does' look which Clyde seems to ignore. "I'd only just started to hurt him." Clyde finishes and everyone turns when Red clears her throat. Cartman gives Red a look then shuffles to the second row which Red smiles at.

"Dickweed unless you want to end up on that floor like a pancake go sit with Fatass." Red says simply and climbs over a third row seat into the fourth row and walks towards me.

"I'M NOT FAT I'M BIG-BONED!" Cartman yells at Red as Clyde thinks better of messing with her and goes to sit with him.

"Do you want me to castrate you?" Red asks sweetly and I see her smile when both Cartman and Clyde ignore her threat. I find it strange that Red is feared of, she's only feared of because she gave Craig a black eye – which is goddamn near impossible – because he laughed at her name. Back in fifth grade. When we were eleven. "Carry on with your conversations." She says to the Goths, Gary and Mark as she turns to me.

"You were back quick." I state when the gentle hum of conversation fills the room.

"Wendy is Heidi's room mate." She replies simply as the professor walks in. "And last night all she was doing was insulting you, so I'm not talking to her again." Red explains as the professor writes her name on the board. I smile at Red and mouth the words 'thanks Mia' before trying to see the professor's name. Miss Moyes. I lean back in my seat and I pay very little attention to the professor as she starts talking about the muscles and their importance to us.

I get out of the lecture at eleven and I sigh as Red leaves me when she sees Heidi and Lizzy waiting for her. I stand in the hallway watching my class mates leave and when Dylan comes out I catch his arm.

"Hey Raven." He says when he sees it's me.

"Thanks for sticking up for me in there Dylan." I reply as Dylan flips his fringe out of his eyes. Somehow Dylan could get away with flipping his hair out of his eyes and not look gay.

"Any time Raven." is the response I get as Dylan smiles and walks away from me with Evan. I hear laughter from Evan as Dylan grabs Henrietta by the hair and I shake my head which as Clyde walks out he sees. He looks down the corridor and when he sees we're the only two in the corridor he pins me up against the wall.

"What do you think your doing getting the Goths and Red to protect you?" Clyde hisses in my ear. I can feel the hate dripping off each word and I just look at Clyde. Don't let him see that your afraid Stan I think as Craig's advice comes back to me. Keep your head down and stay out of Clyde's way. Somehow I think Craig's advice isn't going to work for once. "Well?" Clyde asks when I don't reply.

"I didn't ask them to." I reply when his grip tightens around my wrists. I can tell he doesn't believe me by the way his grip tightens more before he lets me go. I rub at my wrists unsure as to why he's let me go but from the look on his face I'm not allowed to leave just yet. I don't ask why he let me go, I just stand there like a complete idiot watching him.

"Come with me." Clyde says sharply and grabs my wrist before pulling me away from the main doors into the building. I hear why he did it as he drags me away, there's kids about to go in for a lecture and I can hear Craig's voice amongst them. He pushes me into the door marked 'toilet' and pushes me into a cubicle before walking in himself and locking the door behind him. I give Clyde a reproachful look and from the look on his face I'm not going to enjoy this. But since when do I enjoy him sexually harassing me? I feel Clyde rest his hands on the walls of the cubicle seeing as I'm looking at my feet like I always do. "Why does everyone assume that I hurt you?" I shrug the best I can in the cramped cubicle instead of answering. But I know why everyone assumes that, maybe because Craig yelled at him when I turned up at Craig's house at midnight. And maybe because when Craig shouted the whole town heard him and they wasn't too pleased about all the swearing, especially at midnight. "You know I love you right?" I feel Clyde place his hand on my cheek and I blush involuntarily. I'm not sure whether it's because I did – before all this started – like Clyde or whether it's because I like Kyle, which I find bizarre and I need to do something about it before it gets really out of hand. But if Clyde loved me like he says he does he'd stop harassing me and leave me alone and let me live my life. I catch a glimpse of Clyde's watch as his hand moves from my cheek to my chest and when I see it's only ten past eleven I relax a little. I promised Kyle I'd be back for twelve and I am going to keep that promise. I see Clyde place his other hand on my chest and I tremble a little at his touch. It's been just over two months since he last did this and I want to make sure it doesn't happen again. I gasp as I feel Clyde put one of his hands up my shirt and I see him smile before he places the other hand up my top.

"Clyde?" I ask timidly and when he looks at me I see he's smiling. "What about Bebe?"

"She'll cope."

"And how do you think both Kenny and Craig will cope if they find out about this?"

"They'll call you an idiot for letting me do this and then Craig will try and beat me up." I sigh as his answer comes almost instantly almost like we've fallen back into our routine. In the same second I sigh he presses his lips to mine and just like that, my resistance crumbles. "Like they always do." He adds when he pulls away for breath. I look at Clyde hesitantly then look away. "Why?" He asks when I won't look at him. I feel his hands slip out from under my shirt and a little bit of my resistance comes back.

"I like someone. I'm not sure if anything is going to happen between us but this feels wrong." I whisper as he cups my chin in his hands and tilts my head towards him. I close my eyes waiting for something to happen but all I can feel and hear is him breathing. I keep my eyes shut still waiting for something and the only thing I get is Clyde letting go of me, kissing my forehead, unlocking the door and leaving. I open my eyes as I hear the toilet door close and when I don't see Clyde I slide onto the floor. Well I avoided that affair with sex and Clyde. Now if I had known that liking someone would make him leave me alone I would of done that the past two and a half years. I pick myself up off the floor and I walk out of the toilets. I pull my phone out of my pocket and I type out a quick message to Kenny; I don't care where the fuck you are or what your doing, you are going to meet me for a conversation. Okay? I hit send and shove my phone back in my pocket. I walk out of the Lecture Hall into the open courtyard and I walk towards the Student Cafeteria. I jump as my text message tone starts playing and when I see the response; Okay. You saw Clyde didn't you? I don't respond to his text I just carry on walking. So much so that I nearly bump into Lexus.

"Sorry Lexus." I reply as she looks at me.

"It's okay Stan. You look beat." Lexus replies as she sweeps her hair out of her eyes. I know she can sense my worry, it's clear in her hazel eyes even if she doesn't mention it. "Where you off in such a hurry?"

"Meeting Ken."

"Have fun. Oh and Kyle said be back for twelve, if that makes any sense." Is Kyle going to keep reminding me that I have to be back? Paranoid git.

"Thanks Lex." I say as I hug her gently like I do with all my friends that are girls except Wendy and Bebe. "Have a great day!" I yell to her as she starts walking and I start jogging towards the cafeteria. I walk in and when I don't see Kenny I give a loud sigh.

"Stanley!" I jump as I hear Kenny's voice from a booth and I jog to him. "You okay? I haven't had a text like that since the great North Park verses South Park football match." I slide into the booth next to him and from the way he hugs me, I'm not okay. "Feel better?" Kenny asks when I look up at him.

"Yeah." I reply and as I say it I feel a weight lift of my shoulders. "I think it's just sunk in that Clyde's not going to bother me any more."

"That's g- What?" Kenny's confusion makes me laugh and in his shock he untangles his arms from around me and smacks himself across the face. "What did you do?" He asks once he's shook his head quickly and smacked himself again.

"Told him that I liked someone else and that him doing that felt weird." I reply truthfully and I see Kenny nod in confusion. "He just left me alone after that."

"Aww! My baby's growing up!" Kenny exclaims and pulls me into a hug.

"You are a strange one Kenneth McCormick."

"But you love me right?"

"I dated you once Kenny, what do you think?" Kenny slaps the back of my head at that remark and I bite my lip. "I mean; yes Kenny, I do."

"Thank you." Kenny says as he lets me go and I quite quickly breathe seeing as he cut some of my oxygen off when he hugged me. "Now back to the 'someone' you like..." Kenny makes quotation marks around the word someone and lets his voice trail off before he looks at me expectantly.

"Before you say anything your not allowed to tell anyone." I start and when I see him about to open his mouth I hold a finger up. "Except Craig, he can know." I add and Kenny nods.

"Fair enough. Now who is it?"

"It's Kyle." I reply quietly and when Kenny doesn't say anything my first thought is; maybe he died out of confusion. I look at him and I see a smug look plastered on his face, not him dead like I'd thought and kind of hoped to see.

"I told you."

"You said nothing of the sort Ken." I say as I remember our conversation from yesterday morning.

"I believe I said that if you told him that you was gay he might not mind you staring at his unbelievably hot ass. Did I not say that?" Kenny says matter-of-factly. I shake my head at him.

"Yes you did. But-"

"Then I said you liked Kyle." Kenny says cutting me off and I fold my arms across my chest. "It may have been in a roundabout way but I said that. And even if I didn't use them exact words, it was implied." I shake my head and I look up as I hear Butters and Cartman fighting. Again.

"They still at it?" I mutter to myself as I see Butters walk off again. Kenny watches Butters as he walks off but doesn't say anything.

"So how are you going to tell Kyle?" Kenny asks when the cafeteria becomes empty apart from us two again. His question takes me by surprise and I jump before looking at him with an annoyed expression on my face. He smiles at my expression as I think about what he's just said. I don't know how I'm going to tell Kyle.

"I'm not sure." I reply truthfully after I've thought it over for a bit longer. "I might just leave it for a bit and bring it up at a later date." I add as I look for a clock to find out the time. Kenny – realising what I'm looking for – points at a clock behind me and I smile at him in return. Quarter to twelve. "Thanks for listening Ken. I'm going to go back to my room and sleep for a bit. See you later?"

"Any time Stan, just remember to keep your head down. I'll see you at dinner." Kenny says as he gives me one last hug before letting me leave.

I unlock the door to mine and Kyle's room and I walk past my bed once the doors shut and I go to the bathroom. I look in the mirror and frown. I look pretty okay but you can see worry in my face and a faint blush from my encounter with Clyde. I look at my wrists and seeing purple hand shaped bruises forming I sigh, Clyde was a bit too strong at times, that or I was just really weak. I hear the door open again and I walk out the bathroom as Kyle, a blond girl, a brunette boy and a red-haired boy walking, all four of whom are carrying boxes. I raise an eyebrow as Kyle places his box at the foot of his bed. His friends copy his action and Kyle shuts the door while they sit on his bed.

"Stan this is Jenna Hutchens." Kyle says as he points at the star-wearing blond girl. He gestures towards the red-haired boy. "Ian Levant and Max Traversdale is the dude sat on the edge of my bed." I look at the brunette boy who has tattoos covering his arms and I politely smile at him and I get a grunt in return. "Try not to kill him while I go for a piss you three." Kyle yells as he walks into the bathroom. I sit on my pillows, kicking my shoes off as I do. I see Ian watch my shoes as they land in the corner near the door. I just shrug and rest my arms behind my head. I feel Jenna's eyes on me and I look back at her. As I look at her, Jenna hides behind Ian and looks at me from above his shoulder. At the moment I'm starting to think Max is the only normal one. Kyle looks at me as he walks back in and I gesture towards my bed when he looks at his own. I watch as he realises this is the only sane thing to do and he sits at the foot of my bed – away from my feet. Kyle takes a glance at Jenna hiding from view then looks at me. "What did you do to Jenna? She's being quiet." Kyle asks with a confused look on his face. I take it she's the loud one of their group.

"I looked at her." I explain simply before shrugging. Who knew that if you look at someone, they freak out and hide? Kyle looks from me to Jenna and then shakes his head.

"He won't kill you Jen." Kyle says as he directs his attention to her.

"He's a jock Ky, why are you so civil to him?" There's a trace of disgust in Jenna's face and tone which makes both Ian and Max roll their eyes at her. I shake my head at her – my jock days are over, at least I hope they are – and I'm met by her sticking her tongue out at me. I'm surprised to see a small star in the middle of her tongue – I didn't think she'd have her tongue pierced.

"Why am I civil to him? He's my room mate." I see Ian whisper something into Max's ear and Max just nods and grunts in response. "Dumb and Dickhead! What are you two whispering about?"

"Something that's completely obvious to him." Max replies and whacks Ian across the head. "I however see it but don't think it's a big deal so I nodded and went along with it. Like any sane person would do."

"Max play nice." Jenna warns as she lifts a perfectly manicured hand up. Max looks at her as Ian whispers something in her ear – presumably what he just told Max. I see Jenna's eyes wander towards my wrists and I pull at my sleeves to cover my wrists when I realise that they can see the bruises. Kyle just shakes his head and mutters something under his breath that none of us can hear. I feel a sharp zap in my hip as my phone vibrates and sighing to myself I pull it out before walking to the bathroom and answering it.

"Hi Stan!" Oh yippee, it's Wendy. "What are you doing now?" I roll my eyes at her false politeness as my finger hovers over the end call button.

"I'm hanging up." I reply simply and press the end call button as I turn towards the mirror. The earlier blush has gone, maybe the bruises will go as quick as that did. I roll my sleeves up to look at the bruises and when I see two hand-shaped bruises – I sigh. Why did Clyde decide let's go sexually molest Stan? Oh yeah because I came out of the metaphoric gay closet. Why didn't I just stay in the closet? I hear a knock at the door and I roll my sleeves down before turning so I'm lent against the sink. "Come in." I see Kyle timidly walk in and shut the door behind him and lock it.

"Are you okay Stan?" Kyle asks as he leans against the door. I smile and nod, in the many weeks that Clyde did that to me before I learnt that it's just easier to smile and nod then to explain everything. And in South Park that was how everyone acted, they acted like the problem didn't exist and that if they ignored it, it would go away. "I can ask them to leave. I know Jenna wouldn't object." However Kyle is smarter then most dimwitted people in South Park and he is going to make sure I am really okay before leaving me alone. From looking at Kyle I can tell that I'm taller then him and that even if he was on his tip toes he'd only reach the hollow of my neck. His face shows genuine concern and worry and reflects the looks of Craig and Kenny when they realised what had been happening. But Kyle doesn't know Clyde or what had happened between me and Clyde. So how does he know that something is wrong? "Stan your not okay. You have two hand shaped bruises on your wrists. You've been quiet and you keep spacing out." Kyle states which makes me stare at him like I did when Craig gave me the exact same answer. I gulp and nod at him not sure what that will explain but in this daze it doesn't matter what it means to me. "I'll get them to leave and we can talk about it." Kyle says and walks back through to our room. I hear a lot of hushed whispers and and a raised voice before a door slams shuts. I run my fingers over the bruise on my left wrist and I slump to the floor. Who am I kidding? There's no point in pretending that I'm okay after everything Clyde's done to me. I'm never okay, I'm always in fear of seeing him. Why should I live like this? I stand up and grip the sink for support as I feel my legs about to give way. I walk hesitantly to the door and I open it and stumble towards my bed. I see Kyle sat on the foot of my bed and when he sees the bruises he just smiles at me. It's not a sympathetic smile it's more of a I've been there smile.

"Did your boyfriend...?" My voice trails of before I finish my question but it's clear what I was going to ask.

"Yep." His tone is light thinking he's at the stage where he can admit what happened to him. Something I can't do.

"Who?" I feel like I'm creeping into his privacy but it's something that I have to ask.

"Max." Kyle's face seems to drop a little as he mentions Max and I immediately feel guilty.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, every kid back in Jersey knows about it. Max liked to brag. Ian and Jenna tried to make him see sense but he's so hard-headed he wouldn't have it. He thought what he was doing was perfectly acceptable when it wasn't."

"Still it's not nice that you had to go through that." I add as he looks at his feet.

"It's not nice that anyone has to go through that." Kyle compromises and I agree completely, it's not fair that either of us went through it let alone anyone else. We sit in silence for a bit and the only sound is us two breathing and Kyle shuffling his feet on the carpet. "Those bruises are fresh, when did you get them?" Kyle ask timidly, I'd been waiting for him to ask that. If people saw the marks that would be their first question and I'd usually lie and say that I walked into my door or my sister did it seeing as everyone knew my sister was an evil little bitch. But this time it was different, Kyle had told me what had happened with him and Max so I might as well tell him what happened between me and Clyde, after all it's only fair.

"About quarter past eleven. Clyde cornered me." I explain quietly as Kyle turns to face me. I his face slip into a frown and he waves his hand for me to continue. I contemplate how to explain what happened and I'm not sure how to start off. "Me and Clyde didn't really talk in Elementary, he used to hang with Craig and Token and I used to hang with Kenny and Cartman. We only really started talking in Middle school when Kenny and Craig started talking and Cartman ditched us. I didn't really like Clyde but I got on with him for Kenny. Kenny said I needed more friends and I just did it so he'd shut up. We got to High school and Kenny came out to everyone that he was bi, not that we didn't already know, Butters came out shortly after Kenny, same with Red and Lizzy. So when I told Kenny that I was gay he urged me to come out of the closet and that's where it really started. What with me and Clyde being on the football team, him being in denial about being gay and me just realising that I was gay it was a recipe for disaster from day one."

"What happened after that?" Kyle asks tentatively, as if he's worried about breaching my privacy. I look up at the ceiling then look back at him with a slight frown on my face.

"Abuse off Clyde. My parents saying that even though I was gay they still loved me even though it meant they wouldn't have grandchildren seeing as my sister is gay too. I had more luck then Craig though he nearly got kicked out when he came out. I stayed with Clyde for longer then I should of really, I was convinced he really did like me and when I eventually broke it off I went to Kenny straight away. He convinced me I'd done the right thing and that I'd be okay. I didn't think I would be at first but I had Kenny."

"You and him...?" His voice trails off and knowing what he's about to ask I nod. "I didn't think you'd go out with him."

"If at the age of eight someone had of told me I'd be going out with my best friend in nine years I would of laughed and said I wasn't gay. But Kenny was nicer to me then Clyde was and Kenny only broke it off because it felt weird to him, which I understood perfectly. It had felt weird to me too. We've known each other our entire lives and seeing as we're so much like brothers, we've sworn to never date each other again. He found Craig shortly after and I went back to Clyde. I knew I shouldn't but–"

"But as much as you knew it was wrong it felt right because when you were with him everything felt okay." Kyle finishes for me and smiles gently. "I went there. On numerous occasions. Everyone convinced me not to go back to Max, but I did it anyway."

"People didn't understood why I went back to him at first. Not even me but as it got further into the relationship he became kinder and I thought maybe this would be better then last time. I was wrong, he'd lied to me, he was still going out with Bebe at the time. So I broke it off again and I stayed single for a while. But every opportunity Clyde had he'd effectively rape and abuse me again. And then he stopped until today."

"What made him stop?"

"I don't know. He just walked away and left me." I lie and look at my ceiling again to avoid meeting Kyle's eyes. "I don't think he'll just drop it and leave me alone though. Clyde's not like that."

"From what you've said I don't think you've heard the last of him." Kyle agrees and I just nod at him.