Disclaimer: Penguins of Madagascar and all related characters are the property of Nickelodeon and DreamWorks productions. This story id written for the purpose of creativity and having fun. No money is being made from it's creation or posting.
Paternity Pursuit
Chapter 4
By
Wildgoose
(The scene comes up inside of the wheel well of the helicopters forward undercarriage. The flight has been underway for about an hour now and the wheel well's occupants are clearly bored with exception of Marlene who is trying her best not to be sick. Rico is trying to keep himself occupied by bouncing a ball that he had regurgitated some time ago, Private is lying on his back staring at the top of the wheel well where a number of wires are bolted down in a harness, Kowalski is lying face down on the wheel well doors staring though the seam between them to keep an eye on their position. Skipper on the other hand has been watching Marlene holding her stomach through the whole flight and trying not to sway with the movements of the aircraft.)
Skipper: Rico, …by any chance do you have something tucked away that could keep Marlene from puking all over us? (Rico stops what he's doing and shakes his head no.) It was worth a shot at least.
Marlene: (burps and covers her mouth.) Thanks for your concern, Skipper.
Skipper: What concern, …I was worried that if you did spew you were going to aim for me in retribution for what I said earlier. (Marlene rolls her eyes in contempt.) I'm sorry about that by the way, ..I guess I lost my head for a moment.
Marlene: (grants a slight smirk.) Been there, done that. Thanks for the apology though.
Skipper: No biggie. (turns to Kowalski) What's our status, Kowalski?
Kowalski: I'm concerned about contracting Tetanus just from lying on these filthy metal doors. You'd think that they'd clean a high end aircraft like this inside and out once in a while. (Skipper scowls at Kowalski until he gets the message.) Oh, right. Um, ..actually it looks like we're passing over Trenton NJ as we speak so it should be just a matter of time now.
Skipper: How much time, man. Come on, you're slipping on us.
Kowalski: (whips out his abacus and crunches the numbers.) About twenty minutes, give or take.
Skipper: Excellent, get to work on hot wiring these doors. Everybody suit up and get ready. Private, as soon as you're suited up, then you take over for Kowalski keeping watch on our position.
Private: (gets up off the floor with a few moans and groans from being immobile for so long.) But how will I tell if we're in the right spot?
Kowalski: We're following the Delaware river, and we're over Trenton now, …the next city you see that is on the right hand side should be Philadelphia.
Private: What will be on the left side?
Kowalski: From what my research has told me, a rotting cesspool called Camden. If we end up there, we can pretty much kiss our chilled feathered butts goodbye.
Private: What about Marlene? She doesn't have feathers.
Kowalski: No, her butt is furry. She'll end up as part of a coat around some high end cocaine dealers shoulders.
Private: um ok, just pretend that I don't know what that is?
Kowalski: And you don't want to know, it's truly horrible stuff that ruins your life and sucks all of your money out of the bank while simultaneously destroying everything that you love including your own body. It get's even worse because no matter how horrible it makes you it leaves you wanting more no matter who you hurt or what you have to do to get more of it until you die horribly.
Marlene: Um yea, …I really, really don't want to end up in Camden now that I've heard all of that. At first I was thinking it couldn't be that bad of a place once you've visited but now I'm certain I was wrong.
Kowalski: The entire city isn't that bad, …just ninety percent of it.
Marlene: (smiles weakly) That's comforting, Kowalski. (Skipper approaches Marlene from behind and throws the parachute straps over her shoulders. He then throws the other two between Marlene's legs and then moves around to her front and begins connecting and tightening them.) Yowtch, …a little tight there. Not to mention a little friendly, …unless that's what you were looking for. (flutters her eyebrows at him briefly.)
Skipper: (Looks confused for a moment and then ignores her comment.) Listen up Marlene, Because we only go over this once. (Jabs his flipper at a ring on Marlene's chest) This is your primary, once you're out of the chopper count to three to make sure you're clear of the prop wash and then pull this ring as hard as you can to deploy your parachute.
Marlene: No problem, …what's prop wash?
Kowalski: Prop wash is the severe anti-cyclonic turbulence produced by the helicopter's rotating blades for the purpose of creating lift. If you deploy to soon then it will toss you completely about and tangle you up inside your own parachute after which you plummet uncontrollably to your death.
Marlene: So, we'd want to avoid that then.
Kowalski: Most assuredly. (Marlene nods several times.)
Marlene: Wait three seconds, gotcha. Um, …I mentioned before that I was really afraid of heights right? What happens if I freeze up?
Kowalski: Almost the same thing as if you got caught up in the prop wash, …only you don't get tangled up in your own parachute. You just plummet to the ground and everything after that gets pretty messy. If that does happen then it's probably best that you close you're eyes and think happy, happy thoughts for as long as you can until it's all over.
Marlene: (turns and falls into Skippers arms with her eyes bulging in fear.) I don't want to die, …I'm about to be a mommy for the first time.
Kowalski: Exactly how many times were you planning on becoming pregnant AFTER this first time?
Skipper: (sternly) Kowalski..?
Kowalski: Oh right, …I guess that was a really inappropriate question to ask. (slaps himself a cross the beak) Sorry, Marlene. (Marlene continues speaking as if she never heard the comment.)
Skipper: It won't happen, Marlene. Close your eyes before you jump and then count to three and pull immediately after you jump. Don't open your eyes until you've pulled the cord, Got it? (Marlene nods as she continues looking up into Skippers stern eyes from her supported position in his flippers. A moment later Skipper lifts her back onto her own feet.) As I was saying, ….if something goes wrong with the primary then this is your secondary known as the lollipop because of the elongated red handle. (pauses for a moment in thought.) These chutes do have a secondary, right Kowalski? It's not just for show?
Kowalski: I'm certain of it, Skipper. I installed them myself.
Skipper: Right then, …like I said the lollipop is your secondary. To release it pull the handle straight down. Understood? (Marlene nods meekly.)
Private: (calls over from his position on the bay doors.) I can see city lights up ahead on either side of the river. I think we're coming up on Philadelphia. I estimate two minutes until we're over the target..
Skipper: (turns away from Marlene) Right, clear those doors soldier. It's show time Kowalski, hit it.
Kowalski: Right Skipper. (He begins crossing wires trying to get the doors to open but so far with no success.)
Skipper: What's the hold up, Kowalski? We won't be over the target for long.
Kowalski: I'm working on it, Skipper. The wiring is a little more complex that I had originally thought. (Suddenly a shower of sparks fly out from the panel Kowalski is working in and the doors drop open with a sudden rush of wind and noise from the outside. Below them can be seen the lights of Philadelphia beginning to pass underneath.)
Marlene: (Walks over the doors to have a look for herself and then freezes in fear.) I just realized something, guys. I can't do this.
Private: Close your eyes like Skipper told you.
Marlene: I'm having just a little difficulty moving right now, Private. (The other penguins approach from behind to offer assistance.)
Skipper: Kowalski, report!
Kowalski: By observation I'd say that we're passing over the Philadelphia zoo as we speak. We'll be off target in another twenty seconds.
Skipper: So there's no choice then. (He thrusts his flipper forward and shoves Marlene screaming out of the helicopter wheel well. After three seconds there is no sign of a chute.)
Kowalski: I think she forgot to pull the rip cord, Skipper.
Skipper: (grumbles) Women…. (He jumps out followed by the others. Skipper points himself into a nose dive toward Marlene using his flippers as flight controls until he catches up with Marlene who is still screaming. He grabs her and yells into her ears.) Pull the rip cord, woman.
Marlene: (holds up a detached ring with a shred of nylon still clinging to it.) You mean THIS?
Skipper: The Lollipop, pull your secondary! (He reaches down and tries to pull it for her but that too detaches from the cord. He tosses that to the wind and frantically begins undoing all of her harnesses, then he hurls himself ahead of her and uses his flippers as speed breaks. When he again collides with her with the wind at his back he undoes his own harnesses and quickly re-secures them around them both a split second before pulling his own cord. With relief, Skippers primary chute deploys and their descent slows dramatically. As the two of them rock gently in the wind with their bodies pressed together by the harness Marlene begins to calm down.) Piece of fish cake, Marlene. (Marlene turns her head as far as she can to stare at Skipper as if fire could shoot out and consume him at any given moment.)
Marlene: When we get to the ground I'm gonna kick you're….. (grits her teeth with a growl) You pushed me, and that had better be some piece of equipment pressed against my butt. (Skipper slides his flipper between them and pulls out a half eaten candy bar.)
Skipper: Oh hey, I thought I'd lost that. It must have stuck to my feathers when I dropped it after chow time. ( Skipper tosses the candy away as Marlene smirks that it was something as simple as a candy bar.) What did you think it was?
Marlene: You really don't want to know, Skipper. (Kowalski and Private call over from their nearby positions just before something sparkly hisses past them from below.) What the…?
Skipper: Kowalski, report!
Kowalski: We're under fire, …bottle rockets coming up from five o'clock low. (Another bottle rocket hisses past them before popping above them.)
Skipper: Rico, deploy countermeasures! (Rico begins to regurgitate road flares one at a time, lights them, and then tosses them away in a random direction. After several flares the rockets are still coming as close as before.) It's no good, evasive maneuvers, ! (The penguins begin to yank on their parachute cords to change the shape of their chutes and thereby change their angle of descent. Additional bottle rockets fly past them one or two at a time. Without warning an unseen bottle rockets fly's up directly underneath Marlene and Skipper striking Marlene in the rump before popping. She yelps in pain as she clutches her rear end rubbing it.) We're taking fire! Kowalski, what's our altitude?
Kowalski: I'd estimate about two hundred feet and descending, Skipper.
Skipper: Rico, what have you got for S.A.M. suppression?
Rico: Kaboom! (regurgitates a giant brick full of large fire crackers, unwraps it and then begins dropping long lit strings of them toward the ground. Moments later small white flashes are seen all over the ground beneath them in a form of carpet bombing. The tactic appears to have worked as the bottle rockets have stopped. After another minute of descent the group comes to a landing on the concrete walkway of the Philadelphia zoo just near the polar bear exhibit. )
Skipper: (as everyone gets out of their gear as quickly as possible.) Prepare for defensive operations people, whoever tried to shoot us down is likely still here. (As Rico regurgitates a number of weapons and hands them out, Skipper looks about at the debris from a destroyed bottle rocket launcher as well as debris from Rico's fire crackers.) We are definitely not alone people…. (The area is suddenly lit up by a spot light and soon thereafter two Power wheels ® dune buggy type vehicles pull up at high speed, and stop short of the penguins. Six female penguins with weaponry of their own somersault out and take up offensive positions around Skipper and his group.)
Skipper: Stand your ground people, we don't go down without a fight. (After several minutes of waiting for someone to make the first move the leader of the female group decides to make the first gesture.)
Penguin: I'm Syron, commanding officer of the Philadelphia Zoo Penguin Tactical Guard Unit. Identify yourself!
Skipper: (Steps forward) Skipper, commanding officer of the New York City Special Operations Unit.
Syron: Skipper, authenticate command authority. (one of Syron's subordinates regurgitates a code book and prepares to look through it.)
Skipper: I authenticate, Skipper Alpha Echo seven seven two nine. (Syron's subordinate looks up the code and then gives a nod.) Syron, same procedure. (Rico regurgitates a code book of his own and does the same things.)
Syron: I authenticate, Syron November Victor Gulf three three zero. (Rico looks up the code and gives the nod. After a moment all hands lower their weapons.) We apologize for the barrage but we received word a number of weeks ago that Dr. Blowhole was suspected to be setting up a new lair along the Camden water front and since Antarctic command had sent no word about you we assumed Dr. Blowhole had resorted to airdropping his lobster soldiers in for an attack on our facility.
Skipper: An understandable response, …your people have good aim by the way. They do you credit.
Marlene: (scowls and rubs her rump some more.) I'll say they've got good aim, they shot me in the butt.
Syron: (snaps at Skipper) You've got wounded, ..why didn't you say something? (she gestures for some of her team mates to help Marlene.) Meg, Elisa, escort the otter back to H.Q for triage.
Marlene: The otter's NAME is Marlene.
Syron: Apologies, escort Marlene back for care.
Skipper: Take extra care, ..she's expecting. (Syron stares at Skipper for a moment and then pops an eyebrow in interest.)
Syron: You airdropped a pregnant lady into potentially hostile territory? (smiles) Are they yours…?
Skipper: (barks) Of coarse not.
Syron: Excuse me then. (Meg and Elisa help Marlene into one of their buggies and motor off.) This is the rest of my team, my tactical advisor Pepper, my mechanical/ scientific expert Erin, and my weapons specialist Kitsune. (The first two wave flippers to say hello with exception of Kitsune who slowly bows.)
Skipper: The other two are your medical officers I take it? (Syron nods) Very well then, allow me to introduce my team. My weapons specialist Rico, tactical/scientific expert Kowalski, and general support guy Private.
Syron: Quite the team you have there.
Skipper: We're the best ma'am.
Syron: Not in Philly. (looks to her team) Alright people, mount up and head for H.Q. The zookeeper will be making his rounds soon. (After the girls pile into the buggy Syron stares at the guys.) Well, are you coming or what?
Skipper: Is there room?
Syron: That's what the rear bumper and the top of the roll cage are for, now pile on. With what Erin's done to these buggies, I guarantee they can take it and then some. (pause) Let's go guys, put in gear! (The guys pile onto the buggy where they can and hold onto dear life as Erin Smokes the tires while performing a one eighty and then takes off for home.)
Chapter five coming soon!
Comments and suggestions are always welcome at
S.A.M.= Surface to Air Missile