At four months now she was blatantly showing and her hand resting on top of her belly had become more of a necessary tick than an every once and awhile habit, because at this point her pregnancy was very real and obvious not just to her, and she had found the overwhelming need to protect this little life inside of her belly even if it was just with her fingers and even if she was simply standing by the whiteboard in the bullpen surrounded by the people she'd come to call her family.
"He's got a brother doing time in stateville for a rape and double homicide," she briefed, flipping through the file she'd just printed off after pinning a photograph up on the board of the creep she'd been after for hours now, typing away ferociously at her keyboard and ringing a couple of local businesses over and over and over again to try and get a hit or a connection or even a damn photograph from a security camera. She'd finally caught a lucky break from one of her CI's and she finally felt as if she was contributing something useful to the case at hand by handing them a name and a face, and as her hazel eyes trailed over the expectant gazes of her team her stare landed on him and there was that pang in her heart because she couldn't have his back on this one, no matter how hell-bent she'd been when she marched into Hank's office the week before to demand he let her out of this place and out on the streets again.
Them being separated and her staying behind wasn't a change but because she'd just been cleared by the doctors to get off of desk duty and was fully recovered from the shooting there was still the baby to think about and she'd had this silly idea and tiny ounce of hope that the man that was both her boss and her father figure would let her back out to full duty but when he'd shut it down completely with a stubborn shake of his head and a gruff mention of 'my grandchild' she'd relented in her attack because of course he wasn't wrong and of course she would do anything to be better than the woman she'd had the pleasure of calling her mother and the more she thought about it the better she felt about keeping her baby completely out of harm's way. Hank seemed to sense her unease and discontentment, however, because there was a brief mention of him keeping a careful eye on her boyfriend and she couldn't help but grin because she'd never, not once, heard her partner referred to as such in the workplace and she felt as satisfied as she could be with the whole situation when he had given her shoulder a quick squeeze before ducking back out into the bullpen.
But when her eyes locked with her partner she knew she would never feel as content with his safety as she did when it was in her hands so she nibbled on her bottom lip and followed the rest of the team downstairs to get suited up because Hank had given his orders and there was no changing his mind.
Jay was able to sense Erin's frustration rolling off of her in waves as he walked alongside her step by step because even at work he was overly cautious, and even at work he kept his eyes trained on nearly her every move because she was carrying his child and she was the love of his life and he only really felt at ease when it was right there next to her. "It'll be okay Er, it's just a routine call." He nudged her shoulder with his own, chuckling at the glare of her hazel orbs because she was stubborn and because he knew all too well how much she hated having to sit out on the job. But as he brushed his fingers across her protruding bump of a belly and watched her eyes soften he knew she remembered that this time around things were different, and she fell into a contented silence while strapping up his vest.
"Just- be careful, okay? I- uh, we need you to come back here." She cracked a grin at that one and his stomach flipped because that was a new thing she'd started to say out loud as of late- the whole 'we' thing and he was quite certain he'd never hear anything sweeter in his lifetime. He reached out to give her hand a quick squeeze because now Hank and Olinsky were looking at him over their shoulders and they still had a job to do which required him to be present and on top of his game and not daydreaming of holding that tiny baby in his arms someday; so he offered her the last bit of comfort he could before sliding into the passenger seat and disappearing from her view.
She woke up to him right beside her and her pillows shoved off onto the floor because she'd fallen asleep before he'd gotten home and couldn't quite get comfortable without his body to wrap her limbs around so the pillows had had to do. It only took a moment for his spectacular blue eyes to flicker open and meet her gaze and a corner of her mouth turned up into a smile because for once there wasn't a rush of showers and pots of coffee (one decaf, one regular) to get to the bullpen on time because Hank had granted the two of them a few hours off to head over to Med because today was the day they found out if they were having a boy or a girl.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," she murmured and leaned forward to touch her lips against his and he grinned and pulled her closer and tickled her sides, relishing in the sweet sound of her laughter and wondered how he had ever thought living away from her had been a good idea or something he would have been able to handle.
"Today's the day, Er," he replied back and he was up in a flash and tossing on a t-shirt and a delicious pair of jeans before she could even attempt a roll up and out from underneath the covers but she still managed a snort of laughter in his direction at his absolutely adorable excitement because it was contagious and rubbing off on her, and truthfully as it always was when it came to these check ups she only wanted to hear that her baby was healthy. But at least this time around, they could start to settle on a name and she could start to picture with certainty the little toddler that would be running around the bullpen and straight into Hank's arms, lightening the heavy atmosphere during a particularly grueling case.
She was dressed and fed and looking a little less exhausted around a half hour later, Jay's thumb trailing over her knuckles as he turned down the all too familiar stretch of road, leading the two of them inside and to the waiting room before checking them in for the appointment though Maggie had already seen them and more than likely alerted Nat or Will or the entire rest of the emergency department though he couldn't really blame her because his eyes lit up at the mention of his girl or his baby every single damn time.
"Hey Erin, Jay. Come with me." And there was Nat and her smiling, gentle face and Erin was automatically put at ease because she'd always hated hospitals but that sweetheart of a woman had always made it a little bit more bearable and as Jay reached for her fingers she was able to let out some of the tension in her shoulders, but didn't relax completely until Nat mentioned going out for ice cream or something before she really got uncomfortably huge and Erin couldn't help but laugh because normally their get together was a round of drinks between the Halstead brothers and the both of them and she was struck again by how drastically her life had changed in only the past few months.
"Do I get a niece or a nephew?" And speaking of the devil he appeared in the doorway and Jay opened his mouth as if he was going to shoo him away because he almost wished it could just be the both of them but Erin caught his perfect blue eyes and gave a soft shake of her head and he caught on because this was special yes, but special for so many other people too and his girl had never had so many people in her corner and he wanted her to know how much she was loved and cared for and that he understood.
Nat rolled her eyes but couldn't help but grin because she'd found the baby's heartbeat and then the image appeared on the monitor and Erin's eyes trailed off of Jay to the computer screen because she'd never be able to find the words to explain the amount of love in her heart for this tiny little human but as her partner squeezed her hand again she knew without a shadow of a doubt she would spend her entire life trying.
"It's a girl. You're gonna have a baby girl."
And then the tears fell down her cheeks because amidst Will's hooting and hollering and Jay's whispered 'I love yous' and Nat's feeble attempts to keep her fellow doctor and new boyfriend under control it hit her all over again that this was happening, and this was real, and she was suddenly absolutely terrified and absolutely thrilled all over again.